So I decided to try eHarmony

I was a post-holiday sucker and fell for eHarmony's free weekend trial over New Years.  Having not dated successfully in years, there was really nothing to lose.

Joining

Their survey (or as they call it, 29 dimensions of compatibility) takes quite a while to fill out.  I'm sure, like everyone else, there's a bit of self deception when it comes to some of your less desirable habits.  Like, am I really going to admit that I spend a lot of time in front of my computer?  Or that I don't really give a shit about over-priced gourmet food?  Well, actually I did admit the latter.

So I'm as honest as possible without sounding like a total loser.  It then searches for matches.  You wait a minute while it does so.  In fact, if you go to another window, the countdown pauses until you come back, so you can watch their advertising.  After the 60 second countdown... Nothing.  I wait a day, as I heard sometimes it takes a while.  Nothing.  2 days?   Still the same message....

Matching

After 2 days, I finally get a couple of matches.  The smallest matching radius is 30 miles.  In a major metropolitan area, 30 miles is far.  (Ok, so I'm lazy.)  I check out the matches, read their profiles and have no idea what they look like.  You have to pay to see pictures.  Let's face it... aren't we all interested in what they look like?  If we were to be honest, that's a big part of it.

The cheapest plan is for 3 months at $45 a month.  If my math is correct, that's $135 to give this a shot.

I'm not sold yet.   So I read a little bit more, with some wishful thinking that there might be someone remotely interesting that would convince me to spend $135.

There's a profile "question" that has you list "5 things you can't live without".  I put a lot of thought into this.  I can live without most of what I have.  I narrow my choices down to water, shelter, food, electricity and  I reluctantly add clothes.  I'm not being a literal minded dick here.  I honestly could do just fine without my TV, computer and whatever else people say.  In fact, it would be a breath of fresh air to find someone else that isn't so caught up in that nonsense.

I begin to read the profiles of the girls I'm matched up with.  What are their answers?  "Fluffy pillows", "pedicures", "hockey", "french fries" (she better have relatives that died in the potato famine, or this is unacceptable), "pinkberry" (That's frozen yogurt.  Which I decided was ok, since 100% of all people that never ate frozen yogurt have eventually died.  True statistic.)  And almost every one put "My iPhone".  So it's not just my imagination that most people I meet are materialistic.

Communication

I get an email this morning that one of the girls wants to initiate conversation.  I read the first thing on her profile.  It reads, "I am a Republican so Democrats need not apply.  Sorry but I am looking for someone with the same values and ethics as myself."  This alone I have no problem with.  Good luck with that.  I'm glad you're open and honest up front.  You've just got the wrong guy.

When asked about politics, I pretty filled out the "Don't give a shit" form.  Long story short, I don't think talking politics really ever accomplishes anything.  You scream until you're blue in the face and nothing ever gets done.  Life is way too short to get upset about things you can't control.  You best enjoy whatever years you have on this earth, regardless of what's going on in Washington DC.

If you insist... At gunpoint, my beliefs are closest to libertarian, as I'd like to see the government stay out of most things (social and financial alike).  At double gunpoint, I'd choose democrat over republican, for the simple reason that people shouldn't be told what to to with their lives.  (Basically I'm choosing social freedoms over financial freedoms).  How did I get matched up with this chick?  Nice job, eHarmony.

Thanks, but no thanks

Thanks for the free trial, eHarmony.  But I'm not interested.  It's easy to get discouraged in life.  Trust me, I know.  There are plenty of people that'll remind you that you're not _________ enough.  Instead, I'd rather surround myself with people that are genuinely happy with who they are and who I am.  And for that, I suspend my search indefinitely, hoping that, one day, she'll be just right.  And so will I.

Keurig Elite K-Cup Machine Broken? No Problem.

It appears I'm not the only one who has had a Keurig K-Cup Machine break.  And just as advertised, Keurig replaced it, free of charge, no questions asked.

I received the Keurig Elite coffee maker as a gift 11 months ago.  Just this weekend, it wouldn't power on.  I called them, quickly explained the issue and they went on to send a replacement.  The lady was nothing but polite.

Note to every other company... This is how you do customer service.

Daylight Saving Time

Daylight Saving Time never really made a whole lot of sense to me.   Even as a kid, I had questions.  It was explained to me that we moved the clocks in the spring so that we'd have more sunlight in the evenings to play.  "Well," thought 7 year old me, "if that's the case, then why don't we leave it like that all year long so we can play all year round?"

As a teenager, I began to feel the effects of changing the clock twice a year.  In the spring, my already sketchy sleep schedule became worse for the entire week after.  Teenagers aren't meant to wake up at 5:45am.  Waking up an hour earlier was something short of a disaster in the high school classroom.  I cherished the extra hour of sleep in the fall.  But then always felt a pit of depression in my stomach when the sun would set before I'd get home from school.  It never felt right.

Soon after college I was working on some big project with my company to sync up clocks among a whole bunch of companies across 5 states.  It was then that I learned how parts of Indiana didn't adhere to daylight savings.  We had to figure out, county by county which ones didn't use daylight savings and fix those individually.  The only explanation I got was that the farmers would startle the cows if they were milked an hour earlier or later.  To which, I'm sure I'm not the only person who thought, "Why don't you, the farmer, just wake up a bit earlier or later and not startle your cow?"

At this point I realized that I've both been in favor or daylight savings and somewhat against it.  More to the point, I'm more interested in a standard.

My solution is this:  One time, worldwide.  Let's say we all adopted Greenwich Mean Time.  If you live on the east coast of the United States, instead of waking up at 6:00am, you'd wake up at 11:00am. After some time, you'd simply think of 11:00am as the time to wake up.  You'd get to work with 1:00pm and finish around 9:30pm.  You'd then eat, spend time with the family and go to sleep at 3:30am.  Why not?  Except for the "It's just the way we've always done it", I don't see an issue.  There'd be no more lost or gained hours when traveling.  Every computer, phone, call center would be on the same time.  One time, worldwide.  That's my solution to all of this.  We can then adjust our days and nights accordingly.

Verizon Wireless Customer "Service" - Can You Hear Me Now?

Before sounding like a bitter consumer, hiding behind an outdated blog, let me say a few positive things about Verizon Wireless. First, I've been with Verizon for 7 years. I'm ok paying a bit extra for their plans since their coverage seems to be better than the competition. I have a $60 / month call plan plus some limited texting and the mandatory $30 / month data plan. I figure I've paid upwards of $10,000 since 2004 to Verizon. I probably get a new phone every two years and continue to autopay around $100 a month. Again, I'm alright paying a bit more per month when the service is worth paying for. Verizon is expensive. And that's been alright with me. Until now.

I bought my first smart phone about 18 months ago. The original Droid. In recent days the battery meter had a question mark in it. As a result, the battery won't hold a charge, but is alright if it stays plugged in. I was as resourceful as I knew how and looked up the problem online. As usual, I'm not the only one.

I went to the closest Verizon Wireless store on Thursday. The girl behind the counter doesn't really know what to do and suggests upgrading my phone and committing to a 2-year contract. This is my biggest problem with Verizon. They don't want to fix problems. They want you to commit to a 2-year contract. At $100 a month, that's $2400 plus the cost of the new phone. Yes, that's business. I understand. Just realize, Verizon, that I've shown over 7 years, that I'll upgrade my phone and re-up my contract in another 6 months or so anyways. Why won't you spend a few minutes getting to the root of the problem?

Her other suggestion is to try a new battery. I say, "Great. I'll buy a battery." They don't have batteries. I ask where the closest Verizon store is so that I can buy a battery for the phone. She tells me to order one online. Thanks, Verizon. I don't blame the girl. She's new. I blame Verizon. Why don't you hire people who can do anything more than repeat the company line?

I go home and order a battery online. They have free 2-day shipping. The battery comes a day early. The Fedex guy acted surprised at the fact when he delivered it. I do everything suggested online. I clean the battery contacts, I replace the battery. And, still, the question mark in the battery meter and the phone won't work when not charging.

Now it's Saturday. I decide to go to another Verizon Wireless store. It's bigger and I figure there's a better shot and getting something figured out.

I walk in and an older gentlemen mumbles something. I politely let him know I couldn't understand. He repeats to me, in an insulting manner, "How. Can. I. Help. You. Today?" Well, great. I see where this is going. I explain the battery situation, how it doesn't hold a change. He asks me two idiotic questions. First, he asks me what phone I have. Listen, if you work at Verizon and don't know that you're holding a Droid, something is severely wrong. He then asks if he's pressing the correct power button, wondering why it won't turn on. I calmly explain again that the phone will not hold a charge. You know, the whole reason I came to the store in the first place.

He plugs it in and upgrades roaming capabilities by dialing *228. Awesome. Roaming. Without trying to sound insulting, I ask if there's a technical expert in the store. There were at least 10 people working and only 5 customers. He gets offended and tells me he's the technical expert. When his brilliant *228 doesn't miraculously cure my battery issue, he sends me to a young guy behind the counter.

Young guy behind the counter immediately tells me to upgrade my phone by doing the 2-year contract. I want to know if he'll look into the current problem on my current phone. "Sorry sir, your phone is out of warranty." I know. I understand. There's a one year warranty. I'm fine with that. But can't we spend a few minutes looking into the battery issue? Perhaps it's an easy fix? Or is your only goal to get another $2400 contract + $200 phone purchase from me? Clearly, it's about the money.

He refuses to even look into the problem. My option is to buy a new phone with a 2 year contract or leave. I left. But before I did, I insisted on getting a refund on the battery. I got my $43.99 back.

Again, I'm not upset with the people at the store. They all seem woefully inexperienced and underpaid. It's the long term business model of Verizon. I've been happy to pay you $1200 a year for your better than average coverage. Just help me a bit during a time like this. If it's going to cost me a couple hundred dollars to break my contract with you, it may be worth it. Five years ago, I was always given the benefit of the doubt when I had cell phone issues. Now we've been reduced to the company line - Upgrade your phone. You've failed, Verizon. And when thousands of people read this and begin making decisions to go elsewhere, perhaps you'll hear me then.

Side note: If I could get a mobile device with data only (no call plan), I'd do it in a second. With Google Voice and Skype, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't miss voice or text. I think that's where we'll be in a few years anyways.

Chicago Bulls Drafts since 1999

I'm very excited about the Chicago Bulls in 2010-11. They're a fun team. They're easy to like and hard to hate. They're a group of good guys who work hard.

I was recently thinking about why it took so long to rebuild since the departure of Michael Jordan. Since 1999, the Chicago Bulls have had their share of lottery picks. They've had two #1s, two #2s, a 3, two #4s, two 7s and a 9. Of those picks, only Derrick Rose and Joakim Noah remain on the team. You'd think with 10 picks that high, they'd have been able to rebuild quicker.

Drafting is tough. But some teams do a much better job than others. And there's some luck involved in the quality of the draft. Let's quickly take a look at guys passed on by the Bulls. Instead they took Marcus Fizer (#4), Eddie Curry (#4), LaMarcus Aldridge (#2) and traded for Tyrus Thomas on draft day.

In 2000, they have a 4 and a 7 and take Marcus Fizer and Chris Mihm (trading him for Jamal Crawford). Ugh. Just passing on Joel Pryzbilla, Hedo Turkoglu and Mike Miller.

In 2001, they missed out on Shane Battier, Joe Johnson, Gerald Wallace and Tony Parker. Instead they do their Eddy Curry and Tyson Chandler rebuilding strategy.

In 2002, they had the Jay Williams tragedy, so there's a pass. Amare was taken #9 though.

In 2003, they just got hosed with the 7th pick. Ahead of Kirk Hinrich, you had Lebron, Carmelo, Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh. Then 3 of those fuckers decided to play together.

In 2005 they have no pick (which is ok, since it turned into Luol Deng in 2004) and miss out on the Chris Paul and Deron Williams lottery.

In 2006, they have the #2 pick and inexplicably flip LaMarcus Aldridge for Tyrus Thomas and miss out on Rudy Gay, Brandon Roy and J.J. Redick.

I'm too lazy to research this, but something happened between the 2006 and 2007 draft. The Bulls went from completely screwing up each and every pick to doing something right. What was it?

In 2007, they start to figure things out, stealing Joakim Noah at #9. There was talk the previous year, had Noah come out, he might have been a top 3 pick.

In 2008, the luck out on the #1 and obviously take Derrick Rose. There was talk about Beasley, but even the Bulls couldn't screw that one up.

In 2009, they do a great job of getting Taj Gibson at 26.

NBA 2K11 - A brief history of sports video games. And a review of "My Player" mode.

I have lived through the earliest generations of video games to what we have now. My first memories of sports games were on the Odyssey 2 system. I remember playing baseball, football, basketball and golf. The football game had a field that wasn't quite big enough (80 yards?). The basketball game was 1 on 1 with two large "hoops" on either end. The 2nd baseman in the baseball game played directly on 2nd base. (In hindsight, I think this is why I learned to hit opposite field in real life.)





Only 5 years later, the NES brought us Tecmo Bowl, First and Ten, Baseball Stars, RBI baseball and other games that were leaps and bounds beyond our original game playing experience. I'd spend nights with my neighbors creating our own leagues in Baseball Stars. You couldn't save games back then, so we'd just stay up all night. Eventually our Nintendo would overheat and give out, leading to 4:30 am yelling sessions.



Fast forward another 5 years to the early 1990s. My brother and I would gasp at the latest on Sega Genesis. The Madden games were amazingly innovative. We had real teams! And playbooks! And announcers! ("Oh no. There's a man down.")



My brother still hesitates playing sports games with me after the "Madden Years" of the early - mid 90s.

The point here is that he and I used to say, "Wow. Look at what's happened to games over the past 10-15 years. Imagine what's going to happen 10-15 years from now." We were legitimately excited. Well, here we are, in late 2010. And that time is now. And I've recently purchased NBA 2K11 for my first basketball experience since NBA Jam some 15 years ago.




THE REVIEW

First off, I just want to give all sorts of praise to the video game industry. The level of detail in this game (and many other games) is simply extraordinary. Yes, you can play as any of the NBA teams. Yes, the likeness of the players is pretty impressive. And yes, they do tend to play to the skill level of the real player.

Many other details are not overlooked... The stadiums, the advertisements and even tattoos.
Each stadium even has their own sounds - For example, Minnesota has the howling Timberwolves.

Where I'm truly impressed is how lifelike the experience can be. The announcers, for the most part, are seamless in their play calling. Doris Burke is also on the sidelines giving updates on player health and what the coaches say.

Joakim Noah got hurt in reality? The game updates itself and you play as the Bulls. But without Noah who's injured on the bench. Current (real) scores tick away as you play, allowing you to keep up with your favorite team.

This game isn't for the faint of heart. It takes amazing amounts of practice. I would say that sports games are no longer for the casual player. (Although, I wouldn't mind seeing an NBA Jam type game that doesn't take oodles of skill.) You really have to understand basketball to play the game. You need to run plays, space the floor, make good passes in the passing lanes and only shoot high percentage shots. Playing with Kobe or LeBron won't help poor decision making.

Oh, and let's not forget, you can play as Michael Jordan on a few of his Bulls teams.



MY PLAYER

My favorite (and most frustrating) part of the game is "My Player". You make a player and try to work your way into the league. I gave my player my real name. And I decided I wanted a Deron Williams mold point guard. So he's 6' 3", 210 pounds and passes first. They intentionally make your skill set pretty raw, so you have lots of room to improve.

Listen, I'm not a great basketball player in a real life. But I understand the game and can hit a jump shot. We're at the point that, even in my basketball fantasy world, I'm worse than I am in real life. That's where we're at when it comes to some of these games. If you're new to the game, you're going to be terrible.

So, in my fantasy world of making the NBA, I start with a few scrimmages. I commit too many turnovers, allow my opponent to score on me and begin falling in the NBA draft projections. Eventually, I'm drafted by the Miami Heat in the 2nd round. Which, despite my hatred of the Heat, I figure it would be fun to be the point guard on their team.

Before I can do anything, they get rid of me. So I've been relegated to the D-League, playing for the Springfield Armor. So now my NBA fantasy has me playing point guard in the D-League. Oh, and did I mention I was the backup point guard, coming off the bench?

At this point I consider restarting "My Player" mode, but it really wouldn't make me any better. So instead, I play as a backup in the D-League. The player you get is bad. You're slow. You can't jump. You're not strong. Your shot is terrible. And you're forced to really learn fundamentals. It's like being a real player who's fighting for an NBA spot. You have to learn the ropes, run the plays and just get the fundamentals down.

After each game, based on your performance, you get points to improve your player. You improve slowly. VERY slowly. There are dozens of categories to improve. And the improvements you can make are incremental at best. It's depressing to think about how long it will take to become decent.

After a day or two in the D-League, I get the big announcement. The Charlotte Bobcats just signed me to a 10 day contract. I'm telling you - even in my fantasies, I'm lame. I come off the bench, again. I now understand why players want out of bad teams. When you're the point guard for a team that can't score, it's frustrating. They judge you on your assists. And Gerald Wallace blows far too many layups.

There's a "request a trade" option. So I did. The home fans got pissed and began chanting "Trade him! Trade him!" whenever I touched the ball. I play a good 15 games as the backup point guard, with one good game. I scored 23 points and had 13 assists.

Just today I got my trade approved. To the Lakers. So now I start instead of Derek Fisher. After all these hours of playing NBA 2K11, it's fun. It's as if, working towards playing for a winner was all worthwhile. Passing the ball to Kobe and Gasol makes me look better.

So there you have it. I wish I was about 12 years old right now. As an adult, I don't have the time or desire to get really good at a game like this. But my competitive nature is somehow reinvigorated. In just one generation, we've gone from Odyssey 2 to this. Not too shabby.

Heavy Rain reactions

----- NO SPOILERS -----

I've been looking forward to the PS3 game Heavy Rain for quite some time now. On my way home from work on Friday I stopped at Target to pick it up. The kid at the electronics register was super excited about the game too. Now, outside of the gaming community, very few people have the slightest clue what Heavy Rain is. This is why I've chosen to give my initial reactions to the game here online. Since I can't discuss the game with most others. Plus, for reasons to be explained, I can't really discuss it with the people who are playing the game.

It's my opinion that game developers, much like movie studios, have figured out a money making formula and will seldom deviate from that. And why would they? Money is money. In the movie world, big action adventures with tremendous special effects will be your meal ticket. Intriguing plot lines are irrelevant (see Avatar). If you know your movie can make $100 million or more, you're going to produce it. The same goes for video games. The top games year after year are first person shooters and the musical (see Rock Band and Guitar Hero) games. Personally, I've peaked as a faux-musician and I'm tired of shooting "enemies" in a variety of ways. I've played Uncharted 2 online for months now and have amassed something like 5000 kills of other online players. When is enough enough? When will the senseless killing end?

It is for this reason that I would support Heavy Rain, regardless of reviews. Heavy Rain is simply a complex, plot driven drama that intends to immerse you into the story line. For their risk taking alone, I am behind this game. Worst case, it will open the minds of some video game makers. Best case, it lives up to its tremendous hype and begins an entirely new genre of game.

As I give my reactions to the game, I won't give any spoilers that you wouldn't already know from seeing the game trailer:





I played for 5 hours on Friday evening to the point where I basically fell asleep due to exhaustion. Here are my initial thoughts beginning the next morning:

- The story line is compelling. Within the first hour I was immediately immersed in the characters.

- Don't play this game while you're tired. You have to think quick and act quicker. Often times when you're least expecting it.

- Most games allow you to save and go back to where you saved the game. This game forces you to make split second decisions and live with them. The resulting gameplay is based upon those decisions. For the first time in ages, I've felt a heightened sense of thrill while weaving my way through the story, knowing my decisions could be permanent to the outcome.

- (VERY MINOR SPOILER if you haven't seen the trailers) Within the first hour or two of the game, I suggested they market the game as "Heavy Rain: Where you can suck as a dad even in your fantasy life."

- Music is often under appreciated in games. Heavy Rain is no exception. The music immerses you in the moment.

- The first time through the game, you have no idea how your decisions are affecting the subsequent gameplay. Honestly, I have no idea if my decisions play any role in the overall game. It seems like they do.

- Which brings us to the question of replay-ability. If I play this again, will I get a completely different story? Or is the story basically the same with the illusion of choice?

- When you install the game, there are instructions on how to make oragami. In fact, they give you a piece of oragami in the game box. My oragami is sitting in front of the TV. One of those neat little extras that make the experience just a little bit better.

- My brother and I are comparing notes over IM right now. Since we don't want to spoil each others' game, we have to ask "How many inches of rain have fallen in your game?" That's the best way we've figured out how to compare our progress without ruining anything.

- Based on our vague conversations, certain scenes played out differently for us purely upon our skill and/or decisions. This alone has me excited for a replay of the game.

2010 Winter Olympic Running Diary

As I'm watching the 2010 Winter Olympic opening ceremonies, the parade of nations just began. For no reason, I've been inspired to write about it. In a flashback of my early days online, I vaguely remember writing about the 2002 Winter Olympics as one of my first "Something I learned today" entries.

- My interest in the Winter Olympics has greatly increased simply due to the attractiveness of the competitors.

- Speaking of which... Holy Denmark! Have you ever seen an unattractive Denmarkian... er, Denmark-an... Point is, couldn't they promote tourism simply based on how hot they all are?

- Pakistan is representing, huh? Didn't see that one coming.

- Seems a little unfair that Bosnia and Herzegovina get to team up and compete together.

- Poland needs a new flag. Their overall standing in the world would jump dramatically if their flag weren't so lame.

- What's the theme? Snow? I know we're in a recession, but creativity should never slump.

- We're seeing the greatest moment in so many of these peoples' lives. It shows on their faces.

- China is poised for world domination. First, the 2008 games in Beijng. Now, it seems like they're ready to surprise in the winter games. In a decade, I'm preparing to pledge my allegiance to whatever overlord takes control.

- You ever wonder what happened to Pikaboo Street? She's working in a hospital now. Intensive care ward. When she picks up the phone, she answers, "Pikaboo. ICU." (None of that is true. Or funny. But it had to be said.)

- I was looking at a map of the winter games. The farthest south the games have ever been were either in the U.S. or Japan. The latitudes were pretty close.

- If you were offered the opportunity to be one of those Canadian snowflake people who dances during the parade, would you take it? I couldn't dance, nor appear that happy, for that long.

- Mexico sent one dude in his 50s? If you're under 25 years old and live in Mexico, wouldn't you just take up any winter sport to be their representative next time?

- The danger factor in the winter games is WAY higher than the summer games. You'd think that alone would generate some interest.

- In 1948 the winter pentathlon was an event. It consisted of cross-country skiing, shooting, downhill skiing, fencing and horse riding. Wouldn't you love to see that? Especially shooting on a horse with skis?

- Call me unpatriotic, but I'd give up every U.S. medal to see other countries who have never medaled win it.

Songs Ruined by Commercials

Music holds a special place in my heart; as I'm sure it does you too. Music brings you back to places past. Music elicits emotions of all sorts. Songs remind you people, places and are one of our greatest connections to our own past.

That is why it kills me when companies use some of the greatest songs to market their products. The songwriters are often just as guilty - But the rights to songs isn't really my concern here. It's the fact that I will forever lose that beautiful connection to those past emotions and now think of some McDonald's meal or morning coffee.

Here are songs that have absolutely been destroyed by being used in commercials throughout my lifetime. Feel free to add your own...



- Stevie Wonder's "Sunshine of my Life" - Used in a Minute Maid orange juice commercial many years ago. (Let me know if you can find that commercial - Right now, I can't).

- The Killer's "I've got soul but I'm not a Soldier" - Used by Nike






- Nike also used John Lennon's "Instant Karma" many years ago. On a side note, during high school my buddy Dan used to sing "Yeah we all shine on... Like Kareem Abdul-Jabbar". Which was funny to me since he moved from South Africa no more than a year earlier. To this day, I wonder if he even knew who Kareem was.




- The DeBeer's diamond commercial. It's not so much the song as the way they've brainwashed everyone into buying their product for far too much money. Not to mention the fact that diamonds are often mined by child and slave labor. But that's a rant for another day.



- You don't think that The Moody Blues had something deeper in mind with "Tuesday Afternoon" than a Visa commercial and an aquarium?





- I'm not forgetting 3 Doors Down "Let Me Be Myself" from the Geico caveman commercials... You know, since nobody has any kind of emotional attachment to 3 Doors Down.



- How about Lincoln destroying both the name of a great president, but also "Major Tom (Coming Home)".





- Kodak took "True Colors" and killed it. Apparently this destruction went international...





- I have to admit, I actually like this one. Starbucks' Glen commercial is fantastic. The fact that Survivor was part of this makes it A-OK in my book.




- Way to go McDonald's. You took "Fur Elise", intentionally inserted mistakes AND had this girl make up some ridiculous words. More than 20 years later, this is all I can think about when I hear "Fur Elise"... Which was probably your goal in the first place, wasn't it?




- To fix the problem, this guy needs to be doing all marketing for all commercials that use popular songs...



Like I said before, add your own in the comments section. This is a national tragedy that can no longer go overlooked or understated.

Twitter Account Hacked

My Twitter account was hacked the other day. Whoever (or whatever) logged in and made one Twitter post. It was effectively a spam email with an "adult" link. Twitter then suspended my account pending an investigation of suspicious activity. Twitter provides a link to get your account back.

As part of the report, there is a required field where you complete the statement "I feel: ________". I wrote "violated". On that request page, it says that "tiger is assigned to your request." I address tiger directly later on.


Here is a running log of the exchange between Twitter and me in an effort to un-suspend the account....

- Submitted Jul 30 01:02 pm by you
It appears that my account has been hacked. I am going to change my password. I hope that Twitter can un-suspend my account soon.

- Twitter also sends an email to my default account

- Jul-30 2009 01:28 pm.
Thank you for the email. My Twitter password appears to have been hacked. Since this happened, I changed my password. I also deleted the spam-like tweet that was posted as part of the hack. I don't believe I have violated any other terms. I hope to have my account reinstated promptly.

- Twitter sends another email requesting that I change my password. (Notice I've explained twice that I've already done so).

- Password has been reset. Again. Are we good?
Jul-30 2009 02:48 pm.

- At this point, my Twitter account disappears for a few hours. Eventually, it moves back to being suspended. Twitter does nothing from this point onward. I decide to add to the online request form every 8 hours or so, hoping to get the problem resolved.

- Seriously... When can we set my account straight? Or is this like a 50 game steroid suspension?
Jul-30 2009 09:53 pm.

- What's with this suspension? What do you need to hear from me? That I like Michael Bolton's music? Fine - For my money it doesn't get any better than when he sings "When a man loves a woman". Happy?
Jul-31 2009 10:34 am.

- I've tweeted 38 times in 7 months. That averages out to one tweet every 5.5 days. And, to be perfectly honest, nothing I have to say is that interesting anyways. How could I possibly have violated your terms? Let's fix this, fellas.
Jul-31 2009 11:47 am.

- Do you guys not work on Fridays? As much as I really don't "get" the whole Twitter hype, I would like to have my account back. My account was hacked. I changed the password. That's it. What's so complicated?
Jul-31 2009 04:30 pm.

- Tiger -
Do you want to know what happened today? I did something for the first time. I used 3-ply toilet paper. It was pure bliss. But guess what? I didn't get to share this joy with anyone. I'll give you one guess as to why.
Aug-01 2009 05:02 pm.

As of today, my account remains suspended.


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Update: Still no word from Twitter. So I've continued my "follow ups" to the open request...

- We've now hit the 5-day mark. And my account is still suspended. When a major league pitcher initiates a bench clearing brawl, he's allowed back after 5 days.
Aug-02 2009 01:15 pm.

- Can't you do a simple IP trace on the malicious post? I guarantee it's not mine. Speaking of, if you can't do an IP trace, I'm just going to open a new Twitter account using a different email address. I mean, yeah, that's a pain for me. But if that's what it takes to bring Twitter happiness back to my life, then that's what I'll do. Just let me know, since this suspension is now beyond ridiculous.
Aug-02 2009 08:55 pm.


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The issue is resolved, nearly a week after it began. Thanks to tiger at Twitter for the following...

- tiger, Aug 03 03:39 pm:
If you have not already, you should shortly receive notification that your account posted some updates that led us to believe that it was compromised. We are in the process of cleaning things up and should have already sent you a password reset notification. Your account is at this point back up and running; please only reopen this ticket if you encounter further issues. Make sure that sweep your computer for malware and create a secure password consisting of both letters and numbers; do not provide your username and/or e-mail and password to untrusted third-party sites.
Thanks, tiger