Since I don't have that many real friends, I have to fill up my MySpace with fake friends. Among my "fake" friends are poker greats, Phil Gordon and Howard Lederer (I do sort of know his dad, but that doesn't really count.) Well, from MySpace, I learned that Phil Gordon is raffling off a free poker lesson.
Remember all of the cool things you thought were going to exist in the future when you were little? Like flying cars and weekend trips to outer space? Despite the rampant disappointment, it looks like one invention is just around the corner - 3D TV.
Another game - write a speech for GW.
Remember when I wrote something about how I thought the U.S. was the puppet master in the Israel and Lebanon "skirmish". Well, yeah. (Thanks to my anonymous friend who can choose to give his/her identity if he/she pleases for sending the article).
Saturday, August 26, 2006
8/25/06 Fudge 'Ems
Have you seen the Dominoes Pizza commercial with the Fudge 'Ems? It's a giant cube shaped lump of poo with tiny hands and feet. The mom touches it and gets doody on her hand. Then, her little girl goes up and hugs the giant turd and gets it all over herself. Her shirt, her face, her arms and hands. It's sickening. How did this get past the focus group? Is there some demographic where poop is appetizing?
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I was "sick" from work today. To take advantage of this precious free time, I ran a couple of errands. One of my errands was going to my normal barber for a haircut. I was in the "in between" stage for a haircut. But I'm going home to visit family and friends in less than 2 weeks, and by then, my hair would be too long. The place I go to is one of the few old school barber shops left, especially in southern California. I walk in and the guy I normally go to isn't there. Some other guy just motions for me to sit down. If you're like me, you get into a habit where you stick with the same barber (or hair stylist in your case) because you know exactly what you're gonna get. And, I say this with all due respect... This guy was old. Like, World War II vet old. He asked how I wanted him to cut my hair. I said, "Use a number blade on the side and back." "Eh?" I know, I tend to mumble. I'm a mumbler. But I spoke slowly and clearly. And he had no idea what I was saying. Eventually we figured out which blade to use. He picked up the clippers with both hands, like one would pick up a 25 pound sword you might see in a Lord of the Rings movie. He used both hands the entire time. I tried to convince myself that it's only a haircut and, worst case, it'll grow back. At that moment, I noticed my reflection in the mirror directly in front of me. And I looked absolutely petrified. No wonder I can't contain my tells in poker - My expression was written all over my face. Long story short, my friend, Natalie, complimented the haircut that afternoon (and Natalie's an honest soul will tell you what's on her mind, so I trust her), so I feel alright about the whole experience. Now.
During the afternoon of errands I also went to get one of those inside and out car wash jobs since I'm trying to sell my car. I sat next to some guy who had that "I wish I could be in the cast of Entourage" looks to him. He was getting a $150 wash on his 1995 Toyota Corolla. I admire that. Although I had a personal rule that I won't spend more than 1% of the total value of my car on a wash. He far exceeded my personal rule of thumb. But I try to follow the immortal words of Metallica - "Judge not, lest ye be judged yourself." Anyways, he doesn't surprise me one bit when he starts talking about smoking weed within 60 seconds. According to this guy, in the state of California you can obtain a prescription for marijuana for $200 for one year (and $100 every year thereafter). This part didn't exactly surprise me. The part that surprised me was what he was buying with the prescription. This dude says that, with a prescription, you can buy pot filled lollipops, brownies, cookies, along with 1/8 ounce bags of pot. What the hell kind of pharmacies are these? Was this dude full of shit? The whole thing seems so shady.
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I learned something from The Sports Guy. The lyrics to I Think I'm Turning Japanese is about masturbation.
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I was "sick" from work today. To take advantage of this precious free time, I ran a couple of errands. One of my errands was going to my normal barber for a haircut. I was in the "in between" stage for a haircut. But I'm going home to visit family and friends in less than 2 weeks, and by then, my hair would be too long. The place I go to is one of the few old school barber shops left, especially in southern California. I walk in and the guy I normally go to isn't there. Some other guy just motions for me to sit down. If you're like me, you get into a habit where you stick with the same barber (or hair stylist in your case) because you know exactly what you're gonna get. And, I say this with all due respect... This guy was old. Like, World War II vet old. He asked how I wanted him to cut my hair. I said, "Use a number blade on the side and back." "Eh?" I know, I tend to mumble. I'm a mumbler. But I spoke slowly and clearly. And he had no idea what I was saying. Eventually we figured out which blade to use. He picked up the clippers with both hands, like one would pick up a 25 pound sword you might see in a Lord of the Rings movie. He used both hands the entire time. I tried to convince myself that it's only a haircut and, worst case, it'll grow back. At that moment, I noticed my reflection in the mirror directly in front of me. And I looked absolutely petrified. No wonder I can't contain my tells in poker - My expression was written all over my face. Long story short, my friend, Natalie, complimented the haircut that afternoon (and Natalie's an honest soul will tell you what's on her mind, so I trust her), so I feel alright about the whole experience. Now.
During the afternoon of errands I also went to get one of those inside and out car wash jobs since I'm trying to sell my car. I sat next to some guy who had that "I wish I could be in the cast of Entourage" looks to him. He was getting a $150 wash on his 1995 Toyota Corolla. I admire that. Although I had a personal rule that I won't spend more than 1% of the total value of my car on a wash. He far exceeded my personal rule of thumb. But I try to follow the immortal words of Metallica - "Judge not, lest ye be judged yourself." Anyways, he doesn't surprise me one bit when he starts talking about smoking weed within 60 seconds. According to this guy, in the state of California you can obtain a prescription for marijuana for $200 for one year (and $100 every year thereafter). This part didn't exactly surprise me. The part that surprised me was what he was buying with the prescription. This dude says that, with a prescription, you can buy pot filled lollipops, brownies, cookies, along with 1/8 ounce bags of pot. What the hell kind of pharmacies are these? Was this dude full of shit? The whole thing seems so shady.
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I learned something from The Sports Guy. The lyrics to I Think I'm Turning Japanese is about masturbation.
Thursday, August 24, 2006
The King's Wise Men
It's been a while. But it's mid-day puzzle time (no cheating):
The King called the three wisest men in the country to his court to decide who would become his new advisor. He placed a hat on each of their heads, such that each wise man could see all of the other hats, but none of them could see their own. Each hat was either white or blue. The king gave his word to the wise men that at least one of them was wearing a blue hat - in other words, there could be zero, one, or two white hats, but not three. The king also announced that the contest would be fair to all three men. The wise men were also forbidden to speak to each other. The king declared that whichever man stood up first and announced the colour of his own hat would become his new advisor. The wise men sat for a very long time before one stood up and correctly announced the answer. What did he say, and how did he work it out?
Click on the Comments section for the answer...
The King called the three wisest men in the country to his court to decide who would become his new advisor. He placed a hat on each of their heads, such that each wise man could see all of the other hats, but none of them could see their own. Each hat was either white or blue. The king gave his word to the wise men that at least one of them was wearing a blue hat - in other words, there could be zero, one, or two white hats, but not three. The king also announced that the contest would be fair to all three men. The wise men were also forbidden to speak to each other. The king declared that whichever man stood up first and announced the colour of his own hat would become his new advisor. The wise men sat for a very long time before one stood up and correctly announced the answer. What did he say, and how did he work it out?
Click on the Comments section for the answer...
8/24/06 Dying and KY
Do you ever wonder how you're going to be remembered after you die? Like, are you going to be the person that everyone speaks very kindly of at the funeral, but deep down they're all kind of relieved that you're no longer a burden in their lives? You know what I'm talking about. Where everyone careful selects very non-descript words, but everyone can read between the lines.
"Henry was a free spirit." - Translation: "Henry did whatever the hell he pleased and didn't give a rat's ass about anyone but himself. Good riddance, you selfish prick."
"Brett always lit up the room with his peaceful smile." - Translation: "Brett spent the last decade unaware that he was shitting his pants while we cleaned it up."
"There wasn't a soul who didn't like Tammy. Her electric personality made everybody smile." - Translation: "My sister was a whore."
Ultimately though, does it really matter? You know, since we're all going to die anyways and it's not like you know anything about your ancestors from 300 years ago? I have lots of questions about death, as we all do. It's weird. It's scary. It's unknown. That being said - there's only one thing I know for sure about death. I sure as hell don't want my obituary to read:
"...discovered naked with KY Jelly and a condom next to his body."
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My dad sends a clip of Dennis Leary commentating at a Boston Red Sox game. It's hilarious.
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Alright! A stupid, addictive game for today.... Paper Toss.
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More good news! The Wizard is now available on DVD.
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For the first time ever, I feel a little less bad about having a big butt.
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Pluto. You are the weakest link. Goodbye.
"Henry was a free spirit." - Translation: "Henry did whatever the hell he pleased and didn't give a rat's ass about anyone but himself. Good riddance, you selfish prick."
"Brett always lit up the room with his peaceful smile." - Translation: "Brett spent the last decade unaware that he was shitting his pants while we cleaned it up."
"There wasn't a soul who didn't like Tammy. Her electric personality made everybody smile." - Translation: "My sister was a whore."
Ultimately though, does it really matter? You know, since we're all going to die anyways and it's not like you know anything about your ancestors from 300 years ago? I have lots of questions about death, as we all do. It's weird. It's scary. It's unknown. That being said - there's only one thing I know for sure about death. I sure as hell don't want my obituary to read:
"...discovered naked with KY Jelly and a condom next to his body."
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My dad sends a clip of Dennis Leary commentating at a Boston Red Sox game. It's hilarious.
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Alright! A stupid, addictive game for today.... Paper Toss.
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More good news! The Wizard is now available on DVD.
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For the first time ever, I feel a little less bad about having a big butt.
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Pluto. You are the weakest link. Goodbye.
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
8/23/06 Hey! It's Enrico Palazzo!
With my birthday coming up, I really didn't need to feel any worse about getting older. Then, I found this - A look at the incoming freshman class - The Class of 2010.
2. They have known only two presidents.
27. There has never been a skyhook in the NBA.
72. Richard M. Daley has always been the mayor of Chicago.
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And the rockets... red glare! Bunch of bombs in the air!
I'm looking for a way to start a mailbag here. Any thoughts on how to get this off the ground? Would you play along if I did it? Send your emails to nachomaster@nachosrule.com and once there are enough, I'll post the responses. Deal? Cool.
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Two nights ago, I woke up covered in sweat at 2:30 am, hallucinating that the ceiling was going to collapse on me. And then I moved to the couch. Honestly. I have no idea why this happened. But it got me searching on earthquakes. This picture pretty much sums it up.
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Karl Rove isn't the first guy to spin events and make generations of people believe a bunch of nonsensical lies. (And, in case you were interested - and I'm sure you were - if given the chance, I'd rip out his heart and eat him alive. I really would. And I'd polish it off with a tall, cool Budweiser.)
History Books: Hernan Cortes was welcomed by the Aztecs as the second coming of their fair skinned god, Quetzacoatl.
Historical Remains: The Aztecs captured thSpaniardsds, holding them in prisons for up to 6 months, as they were ritually brought to an alter, had their heart ripped out of their chest and were eaten.
"The prisoners were kept in cages for months while Aztec priests from what is now Mexico City selected a few each day at dawn, held them down on a sacrificial slab, cut out their hearts and offered them up to various Aztec gods."
2. They have known only two presidents.
27. There has never been a skyhook in the NBA.
72. Richard M. Daley has always been the mayor of Chicago.
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And the rockets... red glare! Bunch of bombs in the air!
I'm looking for a way to start a mailbag here. Any thoughts on how to get this off the ground? Would you play along if I did it? Send your emails to nachomaster@nachosrule.com and once there are enough, I'll post the responses. Deal? Cool.
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Two nights ago, I woke up covered in sweat at 2:30 am, hallucinating that the ceiling was going to collapse on me. And then I moved to the couch. Honestly. I have no idea why this happened. But it got me searching on earthquakes. This picture pretty much sums it up.
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Karl Rove isn't the first guy to spin events and make generations of people believe a bunch of nonsensical lies. (And, in case you were interested - and I'm sure you were - if given the chance, I'd rip out his heart and eat him alive. I really would. And I'd polish it off with a tall, cool Budweiser.)
History Books: Hernan Cortes was welcomed by the Aztecs as the second coming of their fair skinned god, Quetzacoatl.
Historical Remains: The Aztecs captured thSpaniardsds, holding them in prisons for up to 6 months, as they were ritually brought to an alter, had their heart ripped out of their chest and were eaten.
"The prisoners were kept in cages for months while Aztec priests from what is now Mexico City selected a few each day at dawn, held them down on a sacrificial slab, cut out their hearts and offered them up to various Aztec gods."
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
8/22/06 Crash
Aaron Rowand is having himself a tough season.
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Poker is inspiring new research in Artificial Intelligence. In comparing poker to chess, chess is a game of perfect information. The position of your opponent is known at all times. In poker, however, it is a game of imperfect information where the players guess and infer the holdings of the opponent(s):
"The nice thing about chess as a property of the game is what we call perfect information. You look at the board, you know where all the pieces are, you know whose turn it is - you have complete knowledge of the game," he said.
"But in the real world, knowing everything is just so rare. Everything we do all day long is all about partial information. So poker's much more representative of what the real world's like, and in that sense it becomes a much harder problem."
"The end result is that we're going to learn more in terms of research outcomes from poker than we ever did from chess."
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I love arrogant Russians. This dude solved one of the Millennium Problems and decided not to receive his medal. Or his $1,000,000 prize. I got as far as trying to pronounce Poincare Conjecture and that was hard enough by itself.
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It goes without saying - But I'm going to say it anyways - Weird Al RULES!
Monday, August 21, 2006
8/21/06 Confession Time
For some reason I think you need to know these things about me. Today's confession will most likely be the oddest one you'll hear in a while. For those of you who know me, my life is somewhat less organized than your average working male living in a metropolitan area. This less-than-organized lifestyle permeates through all aspects of my life, whether it be cleaning my apartment, job security, replacing clothing, you name it. Some call it lazy. I justify it as quelling my greed. Either way - What I want to focus on today is my sock drawer. After doing laundry, I put all of my socks, both black and white, in a drawer, leaving me with an NAACP acceptable mix of footwear. Each and every morning as I'm getting ready for work, I need to find 2 black socks that match. Over the years I've collected an assortment of black socks, which, if I had to guess, amounts to 7 or 8 different varieties. Some are heavy, some are a lighter shade of black, and others have yellow near the toes. Each pair, in my mind, is workplace acceptable. And each and every morning as I'm digging through that drawer looking for a pair for the day, I eventually hear Mikey Walsh's voice in my head. Much like his Goonie adventure, my day begins with the words:
"I think I have a match. I'm sure of it! The lighthouse, the rock, and the restaurant all fit the doubloon."
It happens every day. And much like a crack whore, I can't seem to stop it. Like I said, for some reason, I think you need to know this about me. That, perhaps, knowing what a sad, pathetic loser I am, it will make you feel a little better about yourself.
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Some guy feels like he needs to correct everything we've learned in school. On that note, I'm saddened to report that the brown note is still a myth.
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My car's for sale in case you know anyone that might be interested.
"I think I have a match. I'm sure of it! The lighthouse, the rock, and the restaurant all fit the doubloon."
It happens every day. And much like a crack whore, I can't seem to stop it. Like I said, for some reason, I think you need to know this about me. That, perhaps, knowing what a sad, pathetic loser I am, it will make you feel a little better about yourself.
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Some guy feels like he needs to correct everything we've learned in school. On that note, I'm saddened to report that the brown note is still a myth.
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My car's for sale in case you know anyone that might be interested.
Sunday, August 20, 2006
8/20/06 The Price is Right
When you used to stay home from school as a kid, what did you watch on TV in the morning? Yeah, me too. We all used to watch The Price is Right. There's no better way to feel smart, even when you're 7 years old, than to watch the contestants. I mean seriously, have you even seen Bob Barker nearly have a heart attack? "The price of the toaster uses 2 of the 3 numbers" (8 3 0). Umm... "38".
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I promised that I'd be done ripping Nickelback by Monday. Since it's Sunday, I have one more shot. It looks like I found an opening act for their next concert tour. Or maybe they can invite these kids for the saddest rap battle ever. (Yes, I went YouTube crazy this morning. And neither clip has anything to do with Nickelback). Ok, here's a bonus repeat post - These guys are awesome.
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My dad sends a link to the strip poker championships. Do you get the feeling that the photographer tried extra hard to take the picture from an angle that would show all 3 female participants?
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I'll admit it. I've watched at least part of every Red Sox / Yankees game this weekend. My rooting interest is that the Red Sox just get swept and end up out of contention for the wild card. Two things from this series:
1) The super slo-mo cam they use on replays is awesome. It's unreal how still the batters are when the swing.
2) 20x20 Alex and I went to lunch on Friday and we were watching the game. I made some comment about Jason Giambi's new 70's porn stache. And 20x20 Alex asked why Giambi's hair is always greasy. Those two observations seem to be related somehow.
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I promised that I'd be done ripping Nickelback by Monday. Since it's Sunday, I have one more shot. It looks like I found an opening act for their next concert tour. Or maybe they can invite these kids for the saddest rap battle ever. (Yes, I went YouTube crazy this morning. And neither clip has anything to do with Nickelback). Ok, here's a bonus repeat post - These guys are awesome.
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My dad sends a link to the strip poker championships. Do you get the feeling that the photographer tried extra hard to take the picture from an angle that would show all 3 female participants?
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I'll admit it. I've watched at least part of every Red Sox / Yankees game this weekend. My rooting interest is that the Red Sox just get swept and end up out of contention for the wild card. Two things from this series:
1) The super slo-mo cam they use on replays is awesome. It's unreal how still the batters are when the swing.
2) 20x20 Alex and I went to lunch on Friday and we were watching the game. I made some comment about Jason Giambi's new 70's porn stache. And 20x20 Alex asked why Giambi's hair is always greasy. Those two observations seem to be related somehow.
Saturday, August 19, 2006
8/19/06 Super Freak
It's not often I give movie reviews. It's probably because I go to the movies once every 3 months. (The only movies I can remember seeing this year in the theater are "Star Wars" and "Munich" - I think there's one or two more, but I seem to be losing an IQ point a day for the last 3 weeks, so there's really no way to tell anymore.) Last night became one of those rare moments where I stepped foot into a cinema. So, here's my recommendation: Go see Little Miss Sunshine. The title sounds gay, but it's not. Well, not completely. On Rotten Tomatoes, it's getting a 93% approval rating (compared to 62% for Snakes on a Plane). (Speaking of, did anybody see the Mother F*#&in snakes on the Mother F*#&in plane? How was it?) Specifically to my cousins - The movie is right up your alley.
Recently people have started asking me, "Hey, why do you hate Nickelback so much?" or "I actually kind of like one of their songs." Or they just start ignoring me to avoid the awkward ensuing Nickelback conversation. (You know, since I'm so feeble minded and I can only talk about one topic per week - By Monday I'll be finished with my Nickelback hating). You really want to know why I hate Nickelback? Really? You do? You really want to go there? Really? You're SURE you want to go there? Why do I hate Nickelback?! FINE! HERE'S WHY!
Recently people have started asking me, "Hey, why do you hate Nickelback so much?" or "I actually kind of like one of their songs." Or they just start ignoring me to avoid the awkward ensuing Nickelback conversation. (You know, since I'm so feeble minded and I can only talk about one topic per week - By Monday I'll be finished with my Nickelback hating). You really want to know why I hate Nickelback? Really? You do? You really want to go there? Really? You're SURE you want to go there? Why do I hate Nickelback?! FINE! HERE'S WHY!
Friday, August 18, 2006
8/18/06 I Started A Joke
Ok, I get it now. "Snakes on a Plane" is a comedy. Which would make it worth seeing. Right? Or is it really just a horrible looking action movie? Why am I so confused lately?
I have a new found respect for Bill Murray (not that I ever lost respect for him). "I'm basically lazy. I work really hard when I work, but I try to avoid work."
Actual headline - "Man drinks potion for good luck: doesn't get any". My inner voice says, "Man actually reads the story: Doesn't receive refund for minute of life lost."
How do you relieve stress at work? Studies show that you can lower stress by standing up on your desk and screaming.
A great article on Scott Podsednik. Headline - "Podsednik Takes Six for the Team"
I still think the whole airplane terror plot was a hoax. (I know, the few times I actually write something political I get some anonymous flame post from Ohio, so keep 'em coming.) But the whole thing just seems super fishy.
Ok, I have hidden 4 links in this post. See if you can find the common denominator of those links. (They're all safe for work).
I have a new found respect for Bill Murray (not that I ever lost respect for him). "I'm basically lazy. I work really hard when I work, but I try to avoid work."
Actual headline - "Man drinks potion for good luck: doesn't get any". My inner voice says, "Man actually reads the story: Doesn't receive refund for minute of life lost."
How do you relieve stress at work? Studies show that you can lower stress by standing up on your desk and screaming.
A great article on Scott Podsednik. Headline - "Podsednik Takes Six for the Team"
I still think the whole airplane terror plot was a hoax. (I know, the few times I actually write something political I get some anonymous flame post from Ohio, so keep 'em coming.) But the whole thing just seems super fishy.
Ok, I have hidden 4 links in this post. See if you can find the common denominator of those links. (They're all safe for work).
Thursday, August 17, 2006
8/17/06 Basketball Player Profile
Cousin Jeff returns from Europe and comes back stronger than ever. He sends a Basketball Player Profile generator. I took it this morning when I first woke up and got Chauncey Billups. I suppose that's since, out of all of the things I suck at, I suck at shooting uncontested free throws the least. (Although, at an overly generous 62%, I'm still 30% behind Chauncey in real life.)
My dad sends updated rules for fantasy football.
A: Here’s a sample of your basic NFL player point values:
For each weapon found in player’s car during arrest (1).
If weapon loaded (3).
If loaded weapon is nuclear (5).
(Thanks to both my dad and cousin Jeff for sending links. Since, we all know that recently my mind has been battered with mortar and pestle and I can't post three consecutive coherent sentences anymore.)
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
8/16/06 CAPS UNLOCK
Some dude is starting a campaign that is right up my alley. He wants to remove the Caps Lock key from the keyboard. It sort of reminds me of my push to rid the world of pennies. We both believe strongly in our causes, but ultimately, nobody is really going to care.
Someone recently told me that MySpace has more daily traffic than Google. Well, it's not true... but it's getting closer. (I also learned that Yahoo has more traffic than Google).
Just because I like conspiracy stuff (and half believe that the whole Israel vs. Hezbollah thing was orchestrated by the U.S. in order to get into Iran - more on that some other day) ... An Israeli Army Chief sold off his stock portfolio just hours before the alleged kidnapping of the 2 Israeli soldiers (which kicked off this whole war in the first place). (*Correction - it happened just AFTER the kidnappings. Not before. This is why I'm not writing much lately. My mind has become a sieve as of late. I'm convinced that I'd fail the GED exam if I had to take it today. I haven't felt this retarded since (fill in a Family Guy flashback here). Until everything at work calms down, I'll just post the link that you're all sending me over email.)
Someone recently told me that MySpace has more daily traffic than Google. Well, it's not true... but it's getting closer. (I also learned that Yahoo has more traffic than Google).
Just because I like conspiracy stuff (and half believe that the whole Israel vs. Hezbollah thing was orchestrated by the U.S. in order to get into Iran - more on that some other day) ... An Israeli Army Chief sold off his stock portfolio just hours before the alleged kidnapping of the 2 Israeli soldiers (which kicked off this whole war in the first place). (*Correction - it happened just AFTER the kidnappings. Not before. This is why I'm not writing much lately. My mind has become a sieve as of late. I'm convinced that I'd fail the GED exam if I had to take it today. I haven't felt this retarded since (fill in a Family Guy flashback here). Until everything at work calms down, I'll just post the link that you're all sending me over email.)
8/15/06 Just a Little Patience
I ask everyone to bear with me over the next week or two. Work is unbelievably crazy and I've had very little time or inspiration to write.
Actually, I wrote this a long anecdote yesterday about some conversations with my mom regarding the liquids on a plane. And how she asked me not to write my ideas for terrorists on this website because I'd end up in Guantanamo. And blogger lost it all. So I took it as a sign and didn't rewrite any of it.
Monday, August 14, 2006
Sunday, August 13, 2006
8/13/06 Doogie Howser M.D.
I got a surprise call from Cousin Kevin yesterday. We started talking about Doogie Howser, M.D. Cousin Kevin said that recently he was looking for a website with all of Doogie's show ending journal entries. He couldn't find any. Neither can I. The best I came up with is a list of all the episodes. Any help?
This is probably the coolest thing I've seen all weekend. The website for "Snakes on a Plane" has something where you can get a phone call from Samuel L. Jackson. Ok, obviously I didn't experience anything cool this weekend.
Speaking of not doing anything cool, I picked up the local (I don't have the faintest clue what adjective to use here) weekly newspaper, looking for something to do yesterday. One of the bands playing soon is called Radiodread. It's a reggae band doing covers of Radiohead's "OK Computer". I've never been a reggae fan, but it's new and different. They have 4 songs on the site (although the first one sounds like it's sung by Weird Al - I'd suggest moving on to the other ones). Wait, the 2nd song sounds like they're trying out to be the theme song for Twelve Monkeys II. And the 3rd song sounds like a bad 8-bit video game. Geez.... Ok, I take it back. I'm not a huge fan of these guys.
And finally... A GAME! Play Super Mario Bros. from the viewpoint of Bullet Bill.
This is probably the coolest thing I've seen all weekend. The website for "Snakes on a Plane" has something where you can get a phone call from Samuel L. Jackson. Ok, obviously I didn't experience anything cool this weekend.
Speaking of not doing anything cool, I picked up the local (I don't have the faintest clue what adjective to use here) weekly newspaper, looking for something to do yesterday. One of the bands playing soon is called Radiodread. It's a reggae band doing covers of Radiohead's "OK Computer". I've never been a reggae fan, but it's new and different. They have 4 songs on the site (although the first one sounds like it's sung by Weird Al - I'd suggest moving on to the other ones). Wait, the 2nd song sounds like they're trying out to be the theme song for Twelve Monkeys II. And the 3rd song sounds like a bad 8-bit video game. Geez.... Ok, I take it back. I'm not a huge fan of these guys.
And finally... A GAME! Play Super Mario Bros. from the viewpoint of Bullet Bill.
Saturday, August 12, 2006
8/12/06 Google Mars
Old and busted - Google Earth. New Hotness - Google Mars.
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My neighbor had a little grill out type party last night in honor of our softball team's season end. (It was just an excuse to hang out on a Friday since, except for the fact that the season is over, there's really not a whole lot to celebrate). My neighbor is a good host and always has music playing at his parties. Anyways, instead of playing CDs, my neighbor sometimes puts on DVDs of concerts and music videos. The DVD started and I expected it to be the same one I had seen before of Bush. The DVD started by zooming out. First I saw a very large "LB". It continued to zoom out. "ELBA". This isn't Bush. "KELBAC". Oh, dear lord. He really has a full length concert DVD of Nickelback. Not only that, but he decided to play it. So, basically, after laughing, I had to leave. I like parties and social events. But Nickelback? Now that's just something I can't tolerate. Somebody, please, please, PLEASE explain Nickelback's following for me.
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Some replay of Kobayashi and the brat eating contest was on today. The funniest part of the entire event was some commentary about Sonya Thomas, who is the female version of Kobayahsi and tends to give him a run for his money. She took 5th place and wasn't anywhere near the lead. The commentator randomly compared her to Chuck Knoblauch, saying that she had some mental barrier preventing her from performing better. (Trust me, it was way funnier on TV). The last thing I have to say is that I'm on the Joey Chestnut bandwagon. I can't wait for him to dethrone Kobayashi.
Some cool artwork.
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My neighbor had a little grill out type party last night in honor of our softball team's season end. (It was just an excuse to hang out on a Friday since, except for the fact that the season is over, there's really not a whole lot to celebrate). My neighbor is a good host and always has music playing at his parties. Anyways, instead of playing CDs, my neighbor sometimes puts on DVDs of concerts and music videos. The DVD started and I expected it to be the same one I had seen before of Bush. The DVD started by zooming out. First I saw a very large "LB". It continued to zoom out. "ELBA". This isn't Bush. "KELBAC". Oh, dear lord. He really has a full length concert DVD of Nickelback. Not only that, but he decided to play it. So, basically, after laughing, I had to leave. I like parties and social events. But Nickelback? Now that's just something I can't tolerate. Somebody, please, please, PLEASE explain Nickelback's following for me.
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Some replay of Kobayashi and the brat eating contest was on today. The funniest part of the entire event was some commentary about Sonya Thomas, who is the female version of Kobayahsi and tends to give him a run for his money. She took 5th place and wasn't anywhere near the lead. The commentator randomly compared her to Chuck Knoblauch, saying that she had some mental barrier preventing her from performing better. (Trust me, it was way funnier on TV). The last thing I have to say is that I'm on the Joey Chestnut bandwagon. I can't wait for him to dethrone Kobayashi.
Some cool artwork.
Friday, August 11, 2006
8/11/06 Fifty-Nine Months Later
First off, The Nacho Expert asked me to put a link to his new blog of random stuff.
Secondly, the ass chewing at work continues. I hope that pretty soon they just chew deep enough and bite into a juicy hemorrhoid. (Can you tell that I'm pissed and grumpy? Yeah. It's gonna be like this for a couple more weeks. You might want to keep your distance from me until Labor Day or so. And no, I don't have hemorrhoids. But given my stress level I might find out what they feel like pretty soon. I need either a nice, stiff drink or a hug. Or both.)
I hear that they're not letting liquids (or gels) onto planes today. So, if air travel doesn't dehydrate you enough already... sorry... no water bottles.
Left handers make significantly more money. I know some lefties that might find that encouraging.
Speaking of southpaws, I am going to go on record and make a sports prediction. Mark Buehrle will come out of his HUGE slump and finish the season strong with an ERA under 3.50 from here on out, leading the White Sox into the playoffs. I'm even going to go as far to say that he'll have one amazing 1-hit, complete game deals. I will also pose a real difficult question - Is Joe Crede better than Robin Ventura in his prime?
The owners of the Cubs are dicks. "Proving that there's as much justice in the justice system as jazz in Utah, an appeals court ruled recently that the Chicago Cubs' ticket-scalping scheme did not violate state anti-scalping laws, despite clearly violating the state's anti-trust law."
I'm a sucker for ancient mystery kind of TV programs and books. Like those "How were the pyramids built?" kind of stories. I know, they're mostly just crap. But, like I said, I'm a sucker. So, I ended up getting stuck on this page of ancient mysteries yesterday. It has everything from Atlantis to the Nazca Lines to Noah's Ark to a bunch of stuff I never heard of until yesterday.
Secondly, the ass chewing at work continues. I hope that pretty soon they just chew deep enough and bite into a juicy hemorrhoid. (Can you tell that I'm pissed and grumpy? Yeah. It's gonna be like this for a couple more weeks. You might want to keep your distance from me until Labor Day or so. And no, I don't have hemorrhoids. But given my stress level I might find out what they feel like pretty soon. I need either a nice, stiff drink or a hug. Or both.)
I hear that they're not letting liquids (or gels) onto planes today. So, if air travel doesn't dehydrate you enough already... sorry... no water bottles.
Left handers make significantly more money. I know some lefties that might find that encouraging.
Speaking of southpaws, I am going to go on record and make a sports prediction. Mark Buehrle will come out of his HUGE slump and finish the season strong with an ERA under 3.50 from here on out, leading the White Sox into the playoffs. I'm even going to go as far to say that he'll have one amazing 1-hit, complete game deals. I will also pose a real difficult question - Is Joe Crede better than Robin Ventura in his prime?
The owners of the Cubs are dicks. "Proving that there's as much justice in the justice system as jazz in Utah, an appeals court ruled recently that the Chicago Cubs' ticket-scalping scheme did not violate state anti-scalping laws, despite clearly violating the state's anti-trust law."
I'm a sucker for ancient mystery kind of TV programs and books. Like those "How were the pyramids built?" kind of stories. I know, they're mostly just crap. But, like I said, I'm a sucker. So, I ended up getting stuck on this page of ancient mysteries yesterday. It has everything from Atlantis to the Nazca Lines to Noah's Ark to a bunch of stuff I never heard of until yesterday.
Thursday, August 10, 2006
8/10/06 Double Dose
Alright, since I didn't post anything yesterday, I'm offering a double dose today...
There's a guy who started work in the officer here a month or so ago. He hasn't really talked much. All I know is that he's originally for Yugoslavia, he fought in their military and he LOVES poker. Not like I'm into poker. This guy is CRAZY nuts about poker. The only time I got him talking was about his high stakes, no limit poker games in Vegas. In the last couple of days, the people who sit in my area started to ask, "Where is that dude?" I thought - good point. Where is he? He's been gone for a week and a half now. Turns out, his roommate called the office here yesterday asking the same question. Now everyone is beginning to speculate as to his whereabouts. The popular theory has to do with some shady, Teddy KGB-like, poker mishap. But it also got me to thinking... How long would it take for you to go missing before anyone would notice? Think about that for a minute. A day? Half a day? This guy has been missing for 10 days and FINALLY someone started asking questions. You've got to wonder if anyone has filed a missing persons report on Mr. Milosevich (yes, that is his name). Sadly, for me... I've decided it would take at least 3 days before anyone got concerned.
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When we lived together, my former roommate, Mike, and I had some sort of sick obsession with "dew point". We were convinced that the real indication of the heat index was best represented by the dew point. Sadly, the dew point is going the way of the Beta Max. (Superior in quality, but appreciated by few).
While I'm talking about Mike - He and I both got ourselves ordained as ministers through the Universal Life Church in Modesto, CA back in 1995. Which gives us the ability to conduct weddings, funerals and exorcisms. Among other tremendous attributes of the church, you can now go online and absolve yourself of all of your sins in the click of a button. Mike also informed me that the church is now a monastery, making us monks. Sweet. While you're at it - Go ahead... Get yourself ordained.
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Bills Gates is spending $500 million to fight viruses. I could take a cheap shot at Microsoft here, but it's very admirable.
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Nice move NASA... Help fuel the fire for the conspiracy theorists and the moon landing hoax.
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Ok, you know I don't like talking celebrity stuff. And I definitely wouldn't talk Suri Cruise... UNLESS... they mentioned her, the Rubik's Cube AND nachos in the same breath.
"IÂ’m sure Suri is different. Maybe a tiny sun emanates light from inside her head, filling all who see her with a sense of joy, the ability to solve any Rubik's Cube within thirty seconds, and an overwhelming craving for tasty, delicious nachos."
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And who says drunk Germans are all bad?
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
8/9/06 Ass Chewing
Sorry guys. I've got nothing for today. I got a serious ass chewing at work, so I was busy all day. More tomorrow....
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
8/8/06 Famous Birthdays
I was actually doing one of those lame-o MySpace bulletins where you answer questions about yourself. And one of the questions was about someone you share a birthday with. And the only thing I remember is from some page-a-day sports calendar from when I was a little kid that had Maurice Cheeks sharing a birthday with me. So I decided to look up some other ones. I came across Famous Birthdays. My birthday kind of blows. But my brother has some pretty cool celebs on his birthday.
My dad sends a 42 string guitar.
My dad sends a 42 string guitar.
Monday, August 07, 2006
8/7/06 Merchandise
About once a year I remember that NachosRule.com actually has merchandise. For 2006, today was that day. Last time I checked (probably last summer), only one order came from someone I didn't know. The rest was family. I reluctantly checked to see if anyone bought anything since last year. Turns out, they did. About a dozen items. Including 2 pair of the NachosRule.com thongs (in 2 separate orders to 2 separate, but nonetheless lucky, ladies). I'm speechless. That's just awesome.
Sunday, August 06, 2006
8/6/06 Lettuce and Pain
My uncle says that, out of all vegetables, lettuce feels the most pain. Well, my mom sends an article - Lettuce is fighting back.
Saturday, August 05, 2006
8/5/06 Dear Aunt
My dad sends voice recognition gone wrong.
Pro Player Pete busted out of the WSOP main event tonight. He placed #286 out of more than 8700 entrants. Pretty impressive showing.
Pro Player Pete busted out of the WSOP main event tonight. He placed #286 out of more than 8700 entrants. Pretty impressive showing.
Friday, August 04, 2006
8/4/06 Work Friendly
On Wednesday I saved a site called WorkFriendly.net. For offices like mine that block quite a few websites, it downloads the text of the website and makes it look like a Word document. Well, I tried it again today and the site is blocked. Ugh.
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There's a market in the complex where I live. I tend to grab some fruit (and coffee) there in the morning for breakfast. This morning, right behind me in line, was a young mother with her 2 kids. The girl must have been about 9 and the boy about 7. The guy working behind the counter asked if they wanted their food to eat outside or if they wanted to bring it home. Almost simultaneously, the girl said "outside" and the boy said "home". In stride, without hesitation, the mom calmly says, "Alright. Roshambo." The kids (as if this was a daily routine) turn away from each other a few feet apart, back to back, as if they were about to duel. The mom says, "Ready. Go." The boy turns around with scissors and the girl has paper. It was decided. They were going to eat at home. The girl was pretty upset. Upset in the way you get upset after throwing the game winning, walkoff homerun to Big Papi. But she didn't complain. Roshambo resolves all. When I have kids, we're resolving all fights with Roshambo. And if that doesn't work, we're using Eric Cartman's rules.
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Every Friday I get to work and get all excited to read The Sports Guy's mailbag. Then it usually doesn't get posted until 11:00. For readers on the east coast, that's 2:00 pm. The anticipation is brutal. Plus, by 11:00, my morning poop is over and done with. I might have to get Bill on the horn and get him to submit the mailbag the night before.
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Whoa. Weird Al is the new Prime Minister of Ukraine!
Actual Headline - Seven Indonesians Do Not Have Bird Flu. Sucks for the rest of them.
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There's a market in the complex where I live. I tend to grab some fruit (and coffee) there in the morning for breakfast. This morning, right behind me in line, was a young mother with her 2 kids. The girl must have been about 9 and the boy about 7. The guy working behind the counter asked if they wanted their food to eat outside or if they wanted to bring it home. Almost simultaneously, the girl said "outside" and the boy said "home". In stride, without hesitation, the mom calmly says, "Alright. Roshambo." The kids (as if this was a daily routine) turn away from each other a few feet apart, back to back, as if they were about to duel. The mom says, "Ready. Go." The boy turns around with scissors and the girl has paper. It was decided. They were going to eat at home. The girl was pretty upset. Upset in the way you get upset after throwing the game winning, walkoff homerun to Big Papi. But she didn't complain. Roshambo resolves all. When I have kids, we're resolving all fights with Roshambo. And if that doesn't work, we're using Eric Cartman's rules.
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Every Friday I get to work and get all excited to read The Sports Guy's mailbag. Then it usually doesn't get posted until 11:00. For readers on the east coast, that's 2:00 pm. The anticipation is brutal. Plus, by 11:00, my morning poop is over and done with. I might have to get Bill on the horn and get him to submit the mailbag the night before.
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Whoa. Weird Al is the new Prime Minister of Ukraine!
Actual Headline - Seven Indonesians Do Not Have Bird Flu. Sucks for the rest of them.
Thursday, August 03, 2006
8/3/06 Hurricane Season
My dad sends a hurricane simulation. After watching this, I think most people would opt to leave their homes.
I hear from Cousin Lisa maybe once every couple of months. Which is cute, since she's the only person to ask permission to get a link on the website here. She sends a story of a stolen driver's license.
I went a little YouTube crazy today. I found 2 videos that I really liked.
1) The Ding Ding Dong song. (It's sort of not safe for work. I'd opt to open it at home if I were you).
2) The Daily Show's take on Mel Gibson's DUI and the media coverage.
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For those interested in the WSOP, Pro Player Pete remains alive in the World Series of Poker main event. I posted earlier that he survived day one and built his stack from 10,000 to 32,500. Since then, I received emails from poker Jason during day 2. The first email said that Pete was down to 14,000. I got a call around 10:45 last night saying that Pete was back up to about 80,000 chips. He survived day 2 with somewhere around 86,000 chips (I forget the exact amount). And there are less than 1200 players remaining. They start getting paid at place 873. Payouts start at over $14,000, with the winner taking home $12 million. So he's doing well and has a healthy chip stack. Also, if you're into reading poker blogs and getting into the minds of the players, here's one for ya. (Articles written by PR are Pro Player Pete's).
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Finally (and mercifully), our softball season came to an end. We won 2 games all season, both by forfeit. And this last game was our best, since we didn't get slaughtered. I pitched for the first time in more than a month, since our other pitcher was gone. Much to my surprise, I did well, not walking anyone. We had a 1-2-3 first inning. In fact, we had another 1-2-3 inning in the fifth (we should have had another if it wasn't for an error). It's not like me to brag much, but I made a couple of spectacular defensive plays, including catching one of those comebackers that you can hear cutting through the air. At the plate, I walked, which may have been the first walk our team had all season. We only lost 15-6, which, for us, was a huge moral victory. We'll be back in the fall. And they promised to put us in the lowest league, so hopefully we'll remain competitive and maybe win a game or two.
I hear from Cousin Lisa maybe once every couple of months. Which is cute, since she's the only person to ask permission to get a link on the website here. She sends a story of a stolen driver's license.
I went a little YouTube crazy today. I found 2 videos that I really liked.
1) The Ding Ding Dong song. (It's sort of not safe for work. I'd opt to open it at home if I were you).
2) The Daily Show's take on Mel Gibson's DUI and the media coverage.
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For those interested in the WSOP, Pro Player Pete remains alive in the World Series of Poker main event. I posted earlier that he survived day one and built his stack from 10,000 to 32,500. Since then, I received emails from poker Jason during day 2. The first email said that Pete was down to 14,000. I got a call around 10:45 last night saying that Pete was back up to about 80,000 chips. He survived day 2 with somewhere around 86,000 chips (I forget the exact amount). And there are less than 1200 players remaining. They start getting paid at place 873. Payouts start at over $14,000, with the winner taking home $12 million. So he's doing well and has a healthy chip stack. Also, if you're into reading poker blogs and getting into the minds of the players, here's one for ya. (Articles written by PR are Pro Player Pete's).
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Finally (and mercifully), our softball season came to an end. We won 2 games all season, both by forfeit. And this last game was our best, since we didn't get slaughtered. I pitched for the first time in more than a month, since our other pitcher was gone. Much to my surprise, I did well, not walking anyone. We had a 1-2-3 first inning. In fact, we had another 1-2-3 inning in the fifth (we should have had another if it wasn't for an error). It's not like me to brag much, but I made a couple of spectacular defensive plays, including catching one of those comebackers that you can hear cutting through the air. At the plate, I walked, which may have been the first walk our team had all season. We only lost 15-6, which, for us, was a huge moral victory. We'll be back in the fall. And they promised to put us in the lowest league, so hopefully we'll remain competitive and maybe win a game or two.
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
8/2/06 Territorial Evolution
Here's another great picture for a "Post Your Own Caption". Here, I'll start - "White Sox 2nd baseman Tadahito Iguchi bridges the language barrier and helps define the word 'fag' for manager Ozzie Guillen."Did you ever wonder how the current 50 U.S. States formed their borders? Yeah, neither did I. Until today.
I'm not making light of the situation. But CNN had a link labeled "Hezbollah fires 190 missiles into Israel. Biker killed; others injured." Now, you can't be real confident with your war "progress" if your 190 missiles only hit 1 biker. You think that's bad? They also hit a Palestinian village in Jenin.
Apparently, I'm meeting the wrong women.
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
8/1/06 Titillating Poker
What's the only thing better than boobies? Playing poker with boobies. Playboy is starting its own online poker site. And speaking of boobs, I'd consider playing on their site, under the assumption that the other people playing are a bunch of yutzes.
Speaking of poker - Remember Pro Player Pete from the WSOP? Last I heard, he made it through day 1 of the main event and has somewhere around 32,500 in chips (started at 10,000). His buddy, Kelly, is also doing well with 34,000 in chips after day 1. Kelly was the "Degree All In Moment" against Brad Kondracki on the main event broadcast from 2005 on ESPN. It's bad enough busting out of the main event. It must be a million times worse having that moment broadcast and repeated on ESPN for the past 12 months. He's back with avengence.
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From the "It sucks getting old" department: Instead of using Facebook or MySpace, baby boomers are logging into Eons.com. They offer free alerts when any of your friends die. How's that for exciting?
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I hadn't read or thought about this in a long time. But I read T.S. Eliot's "The Hollow Men" today.
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I actually started reading my own blog a little today. It occurred to me that I've been writing a lot lately. So I did a word count of the last month - it comes out to about 450 words a day. Perhaps I'll do us all a favor and try to be less verbose, if possible.
In somewhat related news, I'm getting the feeling that my days at work are numbered. (I'm getting pretty good at spotting the tell tale signs of the "thanks for your time and effort" speech - Sign #1 is when your direct report who has to break the news to you will no longer make eye contact with you). Which may mean that I'll have LOTS more time to be spending online, doing nothing in particular, as I look for another job. I'll let you know when I find out more.
Speaking of poker - Remember Pro Player Pete from the WSOP? Last I heard, he made it through day 1 of the main event and has somewhere around 32,500 in chips (started at 10,000). His buddy, Kelly, is also doing well with 34,000 in chips after day 1. Kelly was the "Degree All In Moment" against Brad Kondracki on the main event broadcast from 2005 on ESPN. It's bad enough busting out of the main event. It must be a million times worse having that moment broadcast and repeated on ESPN for the past 12 months. He's back with avengence.
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From the "It sucks getting old" department: Instead of using Facebook or MySpace, baby boomers are logging into Eons.com. They offer free alerts when any of your friends die. How's that for exciting?
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I hadn't read or thought about this in a long time. But I read T.S. Eliot's "The Hollow Men" today.
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I actually started reading my own blog a little today. It occurred to me that I've been writing a lot lately. So I did a word count of the last month - it comes out to about 450 words a day. Perhaps I'll do us all a favor and try to be less verbose, if possible.
In somewhat related news, I'm getting the feeling that my days at work are numbered. (I'm getting pretty good at spotting the tell tale signs of the "thanks for your time and effort" speech - Sign #1 is when your direct report who has to break the news to you will no longer make eye contact with you). Which may mean that I'll have LOTS more time to be spending online, doing nothing in particular, as I look for another job. I'll let you know when I find out more.
Monday, July 31, 2006
Sunday, July 30, 2006
7/30/06 Israel and Oil
As a kid, I was taught that Israel was formed so that the Jewish people could have access to "The Holy Land". Basically, it was the least "the world" could do to make up for the atrocities of World War II. But why there? Why in the middle of the center of Islam? Why not some slice of equivalent land in the middle of Europe? Or Long Island? Could it be that the "Allies" (The U.S., Britain and France) needed access to the newly found oil in the Middle East? The oil discovered in Iran in 1908. Or in Iraq in 1923. Is it coincidence that oil production started in Qatar in 1949? The year after Israel's statehood? Just a thought.
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I know what I want for my birthday.
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I bet they do really cool things at this high school.
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I know what I want for my birthday.
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I bet they do really cool things at this high school.
Saturday, July 29, 2006
7/29/06 You Look Like a Monkey
Of all the ridiculous things that happen on MySpace, this is the one I'm deciding to share. One of my "friends" (I have 16 now, thank you very much) posted - Search Google for "(Your first name) looks like" and see what comes up. So I did. My two favorites were:
"Mark looks like a cheap dollar-store tattoo."
"Mark looks like Hitler."
See what you come up with.
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Have you seen this German Kid? Do I want to do a German joke here? Do I want to continue on the Hilter theme? Do I want to compare the kid to someone I know? Eh, let's let the video speak for itself.
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Ken Jennings is awesome. Not only is he the all time Jeopardy money winner. But now he's making fun of Alex Trebek. (Thanks, Cousin Danny).
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Footprint on Mars? Or another studio trick by NASA? Or just the tracks of the rover? (Thanks, Dad).
"Mark looks like a cheap dollar-store tattoo."
"Mark looks like Hitler."
See what you come up with.
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Have you seen this German Kid? Do I want to do a German joke here? Do I want to continue on the Hilter theme? Do I want to compare the kid to someone I know? Eh, let's let the video speak for itself.
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Ken Jennings is awesome. Not only is he the all time Jeopardy money winner. But now he's making fun of Alex Trebek. (Thanks, Cousin Danny).
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Footprint on Mars? Or another studio trick by NASA? Or just the tracks of the rover? (Thanks, Dad).
Friday, July 28, 2006
Hotter Than A....
You think it's hot where you are? It's over 108,000 degrees in South Dakota today.
7/28/06 Nerd Rock
A number of years ago I was talking to a coworker about music and bands that rock. At the time, I was discovering the group Rush (20 some-odd years late). I talked about the amazing and unique drumming of Neil Peart (who, coincidentally is cousins with a guy on my softball team and the cousin has some CRAZY stories about being backstage with Rush in the late 70s). After explaining the time signature changes and syncopation and all of the music theory that impresses me about Rush, the guy just laughed and called it "Nerd Rock". Honestly, I was kind of hurt. I mean, I went to go see AC/DC with this guy and we had a common music bond. It wasn't so much that he indirectly called me a nerd that hurt. But rather, it was then that I finally realized that my appreciation and taste for complex music wasn't shared by most people. That, even some of my most respected friends were content living in a 4/4 world. (The funniest part of that AC/DC concert was that the drummer looked half asleep, cigarette dangling from his lower lip as he pounded out the same 4/4 beat for just about every song.)
Over the years I've attempted to introduce some of these musical theory concepts to friends and family, in hopes that I could really talk about music in terms of "that guy is genius". While I won't say that I haven't had any good music conversations over the years (I have and I've enjoyed them immensely), I've generally learned to keep my passion for "nerd rock" to myself. Instead, it comes out the wrong way, as I end up trashing a bunch of bands I hear on the radio. What can I say - I'm just an angry dude when it comes to music.
So, where am I going with this? One of the few sites I can browse at my office, regardless of content is Wikipedia. I was listening to a song on my iPod, I searched on it, one thing led to another, and I clicked on a link for "Musical Works in Unusual Time Signatures". As I browsed the list, a lot of my favorite bands have multiple songs on the list. Even before I really understood musical theory at all, I was instinctively drawn to those bands. The Beatles, Led Zeppelin, Rush, Pink Floyd, Andrew Lloyd Webber (I guess that explains why I listen to "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat"), Tool, NIN, Radiohead, Pantera, Soundgarden, Pearl Jam, King Crimson, Faith No More, Dave Matthews, System of a Down, among many others. (I have a personal list of Top Five albums ever. Every one of the five are by bands I just mentioned.)
And it's not like there are bands like Nickelback or Semisonic showing up on the list, making me question everything bad I've said about them. (Although, as I'm writing this, I found both Kelly Clarkson and Lindsay Lohan on that page. All I'll say is that they didn't write the songs themselves. And I distinctly remember dissing Kelly Clarkson, so I feel a little awkward about it now.)
So, what did I learn out of all of this? That I'm drawn to music that is off the beaten path. I always have been. And, I suppose I'm also looking for people who share the same passion for "nerd rock". I'll settle for nerd jazz too, as I've found myself listening to more avant garde jazz lately. So, my friends - If you're out there, I'm always looking for recommendations.
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We got this job on 65th and Third. This big freakin' ballbreaker of a job, right, and we got the area roped off so that some schmuck don't walk through there and take a wrecking ball between the eyes. All of a sudden this woman, you know with the big dark glasses and the Bloomingdale bags, she starts walking right through the ropes and I yell down at her, "Hey! You can't go there ya stupid bitch." And suddenly, this big steam fittin' bursts and this God damn crane crashes right down on her legs. And she's screaming, "My Legs! My Legs!" And I say, "No shit, your legs, you got a two-thousand-pound goddamn crane on you." Now you know that in an emergency situation you can get superhuman strength? I reach down and I lift this crane and was able to slide her out from under, and the doctors were able to save her legs. So the moral of this story is: don't walk where you're not supposed to walk because there may not be someone with superhuman strength to save your little ass. And don't do drugs.
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In the past we've discussed lousy commercials. We're not the only ones.
Over the years I've attempted to introduce some of these musical theory concepts to friends and family, in hopes that I could really talk about music in terms of "that guy is genius". While I won't say that I haven't had any good music conversations over the years (I have and I've enjoyed them immensely), I've generally learned to keep my passion for "nerd rock" to myself. Instead, it comes out the wrong way, as I end up trashing a bunch of bands I hear on the radio. What can I say - I'm just an angry dude when it comes to music.
So, where am I going with this? One of the few sites I can browse at my office, regardless of content is Wikipedia. I was listening to a song on my iPod, I searched on it, one thing led to another, and I clicked on a link for "Musical Works in Unusual Time Signatures". As I browsed the list, a lot of my favorite bands have multiple songs on the list. Even before I really understood musical theory at all, I was instinctively drawn to those bands. The Beatles, Led Zeppelin, Rush, Pink Floyd, Andrew Lloyd Webber (I guess that explains why I listen to "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat"), Tool, NIN, Radiohead, Pantera, Soundgarden, Pearl Jam, King Crimson, Faith No More, Dave Matthews, System of a Down, among many others. (I have a personal list of Top Five albums ever. Every one of the five are by bands I just mentioned.)
And it's not like there are bands like Nickelback or Semisonic showing up on the list, making me question everything bad I've said about them. (Although, as I'm writing this, I found both Kelly Clarkson and Lindsay Lohan on that page. All I'll say is that they didn't write the songs themselves. And I distinctly remember dissing Kelly Clarkson, so I feel a little awkward about it now.)
So, what did I learn out of all of this? That I'm drawn to music that is off the beaten path. I always have been. And, I suppose I'm also looking for people who share the same passion for "nerd rock". I'll settle for nerd jazz too, as I've found myself listening to more avant garde jazz lately. So, my friends - If you're out there, I'm always looking for recommendations.
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We got this job on 65th and Third. This big freakin' ballbreaker of a job, right, and we got the area roped off so that some schmuck don't walk through there and take a wrecking ball between the eyes. All of a sudden this woman, you know with the big dark glasses and the Bloomingdale bags, she starts walking right through the ropes and I yell down at her, "Hey! You can't go there ya stupid bitch." And suddenly, this big steam fittin' bursts and this God damn crane crashes right down on her legs. And she's screaming, "My Legs! My Legs!" And I say, "No shit, your legs, you got a two-thousand-pound goddamn crane on you." Now you know that in an emergency situation you can get superhuman strength? I reach down and I lift this crane and was able to slide her out from under, and the doctors were able to save her legs. So the moral of this story is: don't walk where you're not supposed to walk because there may not be someone with superhuman strength to save your little ass. And don't do drugs.
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In the past we've discussed lousy commercials. We're not the only ones.
Thursday, July 27, 2006
7/27/06 How to Solve the Rubik's Cube
I should've known then that I was going to be bored with routine office work. I spent my first semester sophomore year of college taking an introductory accounting course in an auditorium that held 1500 or so people. The reputation was that it was a "weed out" course, where far too many people failed and it would "weed out" crappy aspiring business students. It was very unlike me to attend large lectures often (the trend culminated when I attended my first finance lecture the following year about 7 weeks into the semester and my friends all stood up to give a standing ovation), but I couldn't quite grasp accounting principles. Well, it was more like, I didn't attend a bunch of lectures early, then I fell behind and never quite caught up. So, I started going to class more often. But the lectures I did attend, I brought a Rubik's Cube with me, and spend the entire hour learning how to solve it. After a semester, I learned how to solve the Rubik's Cube. In my heyday, I could actually solve it in under 2 minutes. (I know, some dude did it blindfolded in like 13 seconds, but I'm still sort of proud in a dorky way).
In a way, I'm far happier that I learned to solve the Rubik's Cube than I am disappointed that I got a C in accounting. (You can obviously infer an inverse relationship between my grade and the cube solving.) Which, if you remember from my story about my computer science intro course, was my 2nd C in as many years (I had never gotten a C before in my life and it wasn't exactly the way I had planned to start my college career - if you can call it a "career"). Anyways, fast forward to today. I have NO recollection of how to solve the Rubik's Cube. I can probably solve the top half with a little practice. But the top half is 100 times easier than the bottom half. So, my challenge to everyone... Is, with some help, learn to solve the Rubik's Cube. (I also have a 4x4x4 Rubik's Cube at home, which has never returned to its original configuration. And probably never will.)
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Someone posted a long comment about Net Neutrality and it's only fair that I point it out.
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I'm posting this World War III. Or IV. Clip so I can watch it at home. (Mike sent it to my work account and I can't watch the video here. So instead of emailing to myself, I'm putting it out for everyone to see. Because I trust Mike. And because I'm that lazy.)
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My softball team's 2 game winning streak is on the line tonight. (We won the 2 games both by forfeit and tonight's opponent has promised to show up.)
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
7/26/06 Peak Oil
I'm reading a book about Peak Oil and how all of the recent wars have been in the planning for decades. And that those wars are completely about controlling the remaining oil (and other hydrocarbon reserves) on earth. Oh, and basically we're all pretty much screwed in the next 10 years or so. What have I learned? That sooner or later we're running out of oil and we're going to have to deal with it within our lifetimes. In fact, demand has just recently outpaced supply and the high prices are here to stay (actually, a decade from now, we'll be dreaming of $3 a gallon).
Oh, and I'm thinking that buying a little land on a lake in Montana might not be such a bad idea. If you want to join me, we can get a foosball table, put up a basketball hoop, maybe play poker and have some fun while the rest of the world goes to hell.
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Lance Bass of N-Sync admits that he's gay. In related news, the sky is blue, there's no peace in the Middle East, Mark Buehrle sucks and I took a poop today.
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I'm pretty sure I posted this a while back (courtesy of a Google Nicki IM - Speaking of, where are you, Google Nicki?) But it's cool, so it's worth a re-post. What celebrity do you look like?
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
7/25/06 Net Neutrality
You may have heard or read about "Net Neutrality" lately. While the term is very vague and the matter is very complicated, Google does a tremendous job of summing it up...
"Allowing broadband carriers to control what people see and do online would fundamentally undermine the principles that have made the Internet such a success...A number of justifications have been created to support carrier control over consumer choices online; none stand up to scrutiny."- Vint Cerf [PDF]Google Chief Internet Evangelist and Co-Developer of the Internet Protocol
"The neutral communications medium is essential to our society. It is the basis of a fair competitive market economy. It is the basis of democracy, by which a community should decide what to do. It is the basis of science, by which humankind should decide what is true. Let us protect the neutrality of the net."- Tim Berners-Lee Inventor of the World Wide Web
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Speaking of Google - they're offering real time traffic times and road conditions to your mobile phone. Wow, someone finally put traffic reports in the car where it belongs. (I can't wait until navigation systems come equipped with those same reports.)
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What does it take to be on "Deal or No Deal"? Wait, wait... lemme guess.....
1) You have to at least pretend that you think Howie Mandel is funny.
2) You have no concept of 2nd grade math and have to be confused by the banker's offer of $17,000 the first time around and actually consider taking it.
3) You're the kind of person that gets super excited about free ice cream day at work and talk about it in constant anticipation at least once an hour.
4) You LOVE bingo and think that you're really good at it.
5) You have been on "The Price is Right" at least twice in your life.
6) You celebrate Sweetest's Day.
7) You're happy because Willard Scott is happy.
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Is your dad a hardcore gamer? (Thanks Sridhar)
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Do you feel kind of occult-y today? The significance of the number 23.
"Allowing broadband carriers to control what people see and do online would fundamentally undermine the principles that have made the Internet such a success...A number of justifications have been created to support carrier control over consumer choices online; none stand up to scrutiny."- Vint Cerf [PDF]Google Chief Internet Evangelist and Co-Developer of the Internet Protocol
"The neutral communications medium is essential to our society. It is the basis of a fair competitive market economy. It is the basis of democracy, by which a community should decide what to do. It is the basis of science, by which humankind should decide what is true. Let us protect the neutrality of the net."- Tim Berners-Lee Inventor of the World Wide Web
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Speaking of Google - they're offering real time traffic times and road conditions to your mobile phone. Wow, someone finally put traffic reports in the car where it belongs. (I can't wait until navigation systems come equipped with those same reports.)
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What does it take to be on "Deal or No Deal"? Wait, wait... lemme guess.....
1) You have to at least pretend that you think Howie Mandel is funny.
2) You have no concept of 2nd grade math and have to be confused by the banker's offer of $17,000 the first time around and actually consider taking it.
3) You're the kind of person that gets super excited about free ice cream day at work and talk about it in constant anticipation at least once an hour.
4) You LOVE bingo and think that you're really good at it.
5) You have been on "The Price is Right" at least twice in your life.
6) You celebrate Sweetest's Day.
7) You're happy because Willard Scott is happy.
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Is your dad a hardcore gamer? (Thanks Sridhar)
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Do you feel kind of occult-y today? The significance of the number 23.
Monday, July 24, 2006
7/24/06 Chimp vs. Chump
You may have noticed I'm not writing as often as I used to on the weekends. It's in part because people visit this site far more often during the week (probably from work during stretches of boredom). It's also in part due to my abstention from using my computer a whole lot during the weekend. Between the obscene heat (with no AC in my apartment) and... well, now that I think about it, it was because of the heat. I couldn't stand to be in my apartment much all weekend. And when I was there, I wasn't in the writing mood. I was more in the "sitting in my boxers in front of a fan and watching 24: Season 4" mood. Seriously though, I think I'm not sleeping well from the heat and it's starting to catch up with me. But fear not. I'm in the air conditioned office (one perk of working, I suppose) and am ready to keep posting.
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You think it's tough busting out of the World Series of Poker? Try losing to a chimp. (Thanks to, who else... Poker Jason).
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Like I said last week, the baseball trade deadline keeps me way too occupied online. Already today, I've received phone calls and emails about White Sox doings. So, in case you're a super hardcore White Sox fan, you might enjoy SouthSideSox.com. It's a place for yahoos to waste lots of time and post about anything White Sox related. From that site, I found the team's payroll through 2010.
In related news, Waa Haa... I told you there's some sort of 10-year-ago retro music trend going on.
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You think it's tough busting out of the World Series of Poker? Try losing to a chimp. (Thanks to, who else... Poker Jason).
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Like I said last week, the baseball trade deadline keeps me way too occupied online. Already today, I've received phone calls and emails about White Sox doings. So, in case you're a super hardcore White Sox fan, you might enjoy SouthSideSox.com. It's a place for yahoos to waste lots of time and post about anything White Sox related. From that site, I found the team's payroll through 2010.
In related news, Waa Haa... I told you there's some sort of 10-year-ago retro music trend going on.
Saturday, July 22, 2006
7/21/06 Jump in My Car
I wanna take you home. (Thanks for the aneurysm, Cousin Eric)
The Nacho Expert sends reason #114,204 to hate the government.
My dad sends a way to make your own mini Bellagio Fountain.
The Nacho Expert sends reason #114,204 to hate the government.
My dad sends a way to make your own mini Bellagio Fountain.
Thursday, July 20, 2006
7/20/06 Write Your Own Caption
(Another picture from the 20x20 contest.)
Let's have a "Write your own caption" contest. Put your caption in the comments section below. We'll vote on them later.
(I got the idea from this picture of Ozzie Guillen and his son, Ozney. I wrote something about the size of the doobie Freddy Garcia smoked before his last start. Apparently it got censored.)
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Studies show that people who have blogs are young, self indulgent, loners in dire need of a girlfriend. Or something like that.
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My dad sends the odds on which Harry Potter characters will die in the seventh book. I will NEVER post anything that spoils the final Harry Potter book. (The odds are based on an interview with the author). In return, I ask (a year in advance) that nobody ruin it for me either. Cuz seriously, if you do, I might have to bludgeon you.
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Since I'm bored out of my mind and can't sit still, I'm posting another random thought. If I were to make one improvement to Netflix, I'd add a "Taunt" button. How many times do you check your friends' movies at home and think, "What the hell were you thinking?" For example, I checked the queue of an anonymous friend today. The next 28 movies in his queue are the first 4 seasons of "24". While it's a spectacular choice (and I think I may have recommended them), I still feel like taunting him for lacking any creativity to put some intermittent movies in there. Wouldn't you check your Netflix account more often and take your movie watching a little more seriously if you could play the "Taunt" game? Everyone wins here, including Netflix for the increased use of their service. Ok, everyone wins except the makers of "You, Me and Dupree".
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
7/19/06 Gold Bullion
When I was a kid, my dad told me a story about a guy he worked with who wanted to be paid in gold bullion. The idea was to receive coins with a mint value of $50, but were actually worth over $600. That way, he only had to report the $50 as taxable to the IRS, while receiving his actual pay in gold. Sure, it's weird, but it's really not a bad idea.
Which brings me to a not-well-thought-out question that has been bothering me for a while. You know how money used to be backed by the gold standard? Where every dollar you had also had a gold equivalent stocked away in Fort Knox or something? And some president (Nixon?) eventually took us off that standard, meaning that our money wasn't backed by gold anymore. My problem is - Why does gold hold so much value in the first place? If our economy collapsed tomorrow and people were in dire need of survival goods, what the hell would a block of gold do? Would it have any value then? Wouldn't you gladly trade a whole truckload of gold in exchange for some water, shelter, food and weapons? Your fortune of gold would be worthless overnight. Please tell me I'm not the only one who thinks about these things.
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Thanks to everyone who posted their soul cleansing confession yesterday. Oh wait. Only Mike posted something. So, to everyone who isn't Mike - Thanks for nothing. I know a whole bunch of you checked it and didn't write anything. I write everyday and, every so often, I ask for a little audience participation. Where's the love?
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Here are two things I've posted before but found their way back in my life today.
First - The baby name wizard. The interface is really sweet.
Second - Test yourself in number sequences. I'm trying it again and I'm up to 13 (which I think is better than last time).
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I Google Mapped Beirut today. If I didn't know any better, it looks like a cool place to live. Beach front property, swimming pools, a soccer stadium... The reason I checked the map is because I read that Haifa, Israel is only 30 miles or so from Lebanon. Then I got to thinking what this war must be like. It would be like Illinois and Wisconsin fighting, with the military bases being Chicago and Milwaukee. Or, for the California folks, it's like Los Angeles and Orange County going at it. I'm not writing this to sound silly, but rather to help myself get a small grasp on the proximity of these sworn enemies.
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The Sports Guy strikes again. This time, he outlines his detailed thought process in picking his English soccer team to support. If anyone can convince you to start watching soccer, it's Bill Simmons.
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You know how I talked the other day about how silly sports are? Well, slap me silly during the run up to the major league baseball trading deadline. I spend WAY too much time checking websites, making sure I'm the first one to know about any big trades that go down. I would guess that, annually, between July 15th and July 31st (the end of the deadline), I will spend 25 hours online checking trade rumors. What can I say? I get really bored during the day.
Which brings me to a not-well-thought-out question that has been bothering me for a while. You know how money used to be backed by the gold standard? Where every dollar you had also had a gold equivalent stocked away in Fort Knox or something? And some president (Nixon?) eventually took us off that standard, meaning that our money wasn't backed by gold anymore. My problem is - Why does gold hold so much value in the first place? If our economy collapsed tomorrow and people were in dire need of survival goods, what the hell would a block of gold do? Would it have any value then? Wouldn't you gladly trade a whole truckload of gold in exchange for some water, shelter, food and weapons? Your fortune of gold would be worthless overnight. Please tell me I'm not the only one who thinks about these things.
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Thanks to everyone who posted their soul cleansing confession yesterday. Oh wait. Only Mike posted something. So, to everyone who isn't Mike - Thanks for nothing. I know a whole bunch of you checked it and didn't write anything. I write everyday and, every so often, I ask for a little audience participation. Where's the love?
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Here are two things I've posted before but found their way back in my life today.
First - The baby name wizard. The interface is really sweet.
Second - Test yourself in number sequences. I'm trying it again and I'm up to 13 (which I think is better than last time).
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I Google Mapped Beirut today. If I didn't know any better, it looks like a cool place to live. Beach front property, swimming pools, a soccer stadium... The reason I checked the map is because I read that Haifa, Israel is only 30 miles or so from Lebanon. Then I got to thinking what this war must be like. It would be like Illinois and Wisconsin fighting, with the military bases being Chicago and Milwaukee. Or, for the California folks, it's like Los Angeles and Orange County going at it. I'm not writing this to sound silly, but rather to help myself get a small grasp on the proximity of these sworn enemies.
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The Sports Guy strikes again. This time, he outlines his detailed thought process in picking his English soccer team to support. If anyone can convince you to start watching soccer, it's Bill Simmons.
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You know how I talked the other day about how silly sports are? Well, slap me silly during the run up to the major league baseball trading deadline. I spend WAY too much time checking websites, making sure I'm the first one to know about any big trades that go down. I would guess that, annually, between July 15th and July 31st (the end of the deadline), I will spend 25 hours online checking trade rumors. What can I say? I get really bored during the day.
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
7/18/06 Jump
(Marlon in the white and Alex in the black from the 20x20 burger eating challenge. I'll post more pictures over the coming days.)
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Jump to prevent global warming? Brilliant!
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Since we're only days away from World War III, I think it's time to begin cleansing our souls. So, this post is going to become our little confessional. Everyone who reads this needs to post one confession (it can be anonymous - no worries). Got it? Ok. I'll start... I've fallen off the wagon and am drinking coffee on a daily basis again.
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The softball regular season is over. We finished 1-6, scoring 27 runs and giving up 108. Now, for an explanation of how we didn't finish in last place. We went into the final game of the season at 0-6, playing a team that was 1-5. The other team didn't show up, giving us an automatic 7-0 victory. And giving us the head-to-head tie breaker, putting us in 7th place. So, in all reality, we scored 20 runs in 6 games. And gave up 108. That's an average margin of 18-3. Man, we're awesome. The playoffs start this week - I can't wait.
Monday, July 17, 2006
7/17/06 Benford's Law
I was watching a rerun of the show "Numb3rs" and they referred to Benford's Law. The law "states that in lists of numbers from many (but not all) real-life sources of data, the leading digit 1 occurs much more often than the others (about 30% of the time). Furthermore, the larger the digit, the less likely it is to occur as the leading digit of a number." I just thought it was cool.
While we're talking math and numbers, check out these math problems.
Remember the guy dancing around the world? He's back in action.
The greatest part about minor league baseball is the wacky promotions - Here are the 10 most outrageous minor league baseball promotions.
"The Charleston RiverDogs tried to play the quietest game ever on “Silent Night” in 2003. There was no talking for the first five innings, and fans wore duct tape over their mouths. Fans held posters that said “YEAH!,” “BOO!” and “HEY, BEER MAN!”"
While we're talking math and numbers, check out these math problems.
Remember the guy dancing around the world? He's back in action.
The greatest part about minor league baseball is the wacky promotions - Here are the 10 most outrageous minor league baseball promotions.
"The Charleston RiverDogs tried to play the quietest game ever on “Silent Night” in 2003. There was no talking for the first five innings, and fans wore duct tape over their mouths. Fans held posters that said “YEAH!,” “BOO!” and “HEY, BEER MAN!”"
Sunday, July 16, 2006
Saturday, July 15, 2006
7/15/06 Trapped in the Closet
The South Park guys finally speak about the Tom Cruise episode. Most importantly, Comedy Central will air "Trapped in the Closet" this Wednesday. If you respect my opinion, it's well worth watching.
In somewhat related news, I got a rare IM from Google Nicki the other day. She just wanted to know if I thought Suri Cruise exists. I had no comment. My fascination with celebrities is pretty low compared to most people I know. Honestly, I really had no idea that the Tom Cruise kid thing was a big deal.
Which leads me to a simple observation. One that probably deserves a masters thesis written about it. And one that I'm going to sum up in a few sentences. Men have an illogical joy and craving derived from sports. Women have the same illogical joy and craving when it comes to celebrities (actors and singers mostly). (The gender line is not black and white, as I know women who are into sports and guys who are into Hollywood.) Sports stars and Hollywood celebrities are really the same thing. They play games and pretend for a living and, for some reason, we watch them and become overly obsessed with the minutiae of their lives. If you take a childlike view of what we do, it's all pretty silly.
I could care less about the lives of the Hollywood celebrities and am sickened by the magazines and coverage they get on local radio in Southern California. My reaction has always been, "Who gives a flying fuck?" But soon after, it hit me that my passion for sports is really the same thing. And most women I know have the same reaction when it comes to sports (although most women I know won't use the term "flying fuck" in normal conversation.) So, I'm just trying to be more open minded about the silliness of the world around me (because it's real easy to be cynical and start using the phrase "flying fuck" a little too much). And, even though following sports and athletes and the lives of singers and actors is beyond silly.... Isn't most of what we do in life pretty silly?
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My mom sends the Italian soccer team version of the Superbowl Shuffle. Her cousin in Italy sent it to her.
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My dad sends Netflix Guilt. Well, he doesn't send the guilt, but he sends an article talking about the guilt people feel when they hang onto Netflix movies for too long, essentially paying hundreds of dollars for the right to keep the movie that long.
In somewhat related news, I got a rare IM from Google Nicki the other day. She just wanted to know if I thought Suri Cruise exists. I had no comment. My fascination with celebrities is pretty low compared to most people I know. Honestly, I really had no idea that the Tom Cruise kid thing was a big deal.
Which leads me to a simple observation. One that probably deserves a masters thesis written about it. And one that I'm going to sum up in a few sentences. Men have an illogical joy and craving derived from sports. Women have the same illogical joy and craving when it comes to celebrities (actors and singers mostly). (The gender line is not black and white, as I know women who are into sports and guys who are into Hollywood.) Sports stars and Hollywood celebrities are really the same thing. They play games and pretend for a living and, for some reason, we watch them and become overly obsessed with the minutiae of their lives. If you take a childlike view of what we do, it's all pretty silly.
I could care less about the lives of the Hollywood celebrities and am sickened by the magazines and coverage they get on local radio in Southern California. My reaction has always been, "Who gives a flying fuck?" But soon after, it hit me that my passion for sports is really the same thing. And most women I know have the same reaction when it comes to sports (although most women I know won't use the term "flying fuck" in normal conversation.) So, I'm just trying to be more open minded about the silliness of the world around me (because it's real easy to be cynical and start using the phrase "flying fuck" a little too much). And, even though following sports and athletes and the lives of singers and actors is beyond silly.... Isn't most of what we do in life pretty silly?
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My mom sends the Italian soccer team version of the Superbowl Shuffle. Her cousin in Italy sent it to her.
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My dad sends Netflix Guilt. Well, he doesn't send the guilt, but he sends an article talking about the guilt people feel when they hang onto Netflix movies for too long, essentially paying hundreds of dollars for the right to keep the movie that long.
Friday, July 14, 2006
7/14/06 In and Out
I'm excited today. A group of guys at work have decided to put together a pretty sweet wager. They have all decided to go to In and Out Burger today for lunch. The bet - Each of them will attempt to eat a 20x20.
Twenty beef patties with twenty slices of cheese on one bun. The final wager is, as of yet, undecided. But it doesn't appear that money is the goal. It's simply man pride. Personally, I doubt I'll participate (but I am considering the option). One dude just drove home to get his digital camera.
More to come after the event - I figure I'd let you in on the anticipation early on. I hope you're half as excited as I am about this.
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The Competition
Seven of us headed over to In and Out Burger around 11:40 am. It's an old fashioned kind of burger place. (Well, sort of - They do have a double drive thru). There's no seating (or ordering) inside and they pretty much just serve burgers, fries, soft drinks and shakes. The two original combatants were the only ones who decided to partake in the eating competition. The rules were simple. One hour. Whoever eats the 20x20 the quickest, or eats the most, and keeps it down for the remainder of the hour, will be crowned the champion. (No money was wagered, but each of the spectators offered to give $5 to the winner to cover the cost of the $23 burger.)
We parked and walked up to the outdoor window to order the 20x20 burger. We were informed that they now limit their burgers to 8x8. Ok, simple enough. "Two 8x8's and One 4x4. No onions." The rules would remain the same - only one bun needed to be eaten with the 20 patties and 20 slices of cheese. Due to the lunch rush and the size of the orders, we waited around for more than 20 minutes. The temperature where I work got up to 98 degrees and we were seated outdoors without any shade. That's not exactly eating competition type weather.
I wish I could describe the trash talking and posturing. Marlon appeared more confident in his words. But Alex stood up on the bench numerous times, posing for the audience.
Marlon got his makeshift 20x20 at 12:20 pm. Alex received his 5 minutes later. As Alex sat down, the competition began promptly at 12:28 pm.
Within the first 3 minutes, Marlon had a commanding lead, already plowing through his first 8x8. Alex was trailing significantly, but appeared to be on a steady push for the finish line. In a very unorthodox move, Marlon moved onto the 4x4, saving an 8x8 for last.
12:37 pm - Only 9 minutes into the competition, Marlon, obviously showing signs of fatigue, had finished his 4x4. 12 patties down. 8 to go. Alex wasn't too far behind, starting his second 8x8 and nearly finished with patties 9 and 10.
The health and well being of the competitors started to become a factor. The sweat beads were not simply due to the near-100 degree heat. The beef and the cheese were at play here.
12:42 pm - Marlon's pace has slowed to a crawl. He's working on patty number 15, when slow and steady Alex ties things up.
12:43 pm - Alex finishes the 16th patty and takes the lead. Alex stops for a minute. He looks up. And he begins the "I'm gonna be sick" motion. Marlon immediately jumps up from the table, taking his remaining 5 patties and bun with him. This is most definitely the turning point in the match. Marlon is obviously startled by Alex's psych out. Marlon decides to stop eating, hoping that Alex will literally "lose his lunch".
12:45 pm - Alex has the equivalent of a double double left. 2 beef patties. 2 slices of cheese. And a full bun. He goes for the patties and cheese, leaving the bun for last.
12:46 pm - Marlon meagerly starts on his 16th patty, as Alex goes for patties 19 and 20 together.
12:47 pm - Only 19 minutes into the competition - Marlon throws in the towel, claiming cheese discomfort. And gives the 20x20 challenge victory to Alex. Alex claims victory, one patty and one bun short of a complete 20x20. Alex is also redeemed from his inability to eat a 4.5 pound bunt cake earlier in the year.
Pictures will be forthcoming (probably next week). When I woke up this morning, I was upset that I had to go to work. But this made me day. Hell, it made my week. Even better? I didn't participate and can happily go on with my weekend, bowel obstruction free.
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While we're talking food - The 15 most popular ice cream flavors. Sloth would be proud with Rocky Road on the list. Chuck, on the other hand, will have a tough time finding Mississippi Mud or Chocolate Eruption.
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Update - I think I have the NATO phonetic alphabet memorized.
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Apparently 14 percent of US workers have the option of telecommuting and don't do it. Only 2 percent telecommute full time and 9 additional percent telecommute part time. I don't know what their problem is. If I had the option of telecommuting, I'd be in the office... oh... just about... never.
Thursday, July 13, 2006
7/13/06 Super Collider
(WARNING: Nerd-o post alert! Please disregard if you're looking for something fun and entertaining.)
Most books on theoretical physics that I read usually leave off saying that experimental evidence will be provided once the CERN (roughly translated: Council of European Research Nuclear) Large Hadron Collider is complete and functional in 2007. Which is basically admitting the theoretical physics is so far beyond experimental physics, that they're all just guessing at this point. And they're all eagerly awaiting the new experimental data that will be provided by the LHC.
Yesterday, I found a basic movie filmed at the site of the Collider. The movie discusses how they hope to create conditions that simulate the big bang (what could possibly go wrong there?). Basically, the largest super collider is currently at Fermi Labs in Illinois. The size of the super collider limits the speed and force at which scientists can smash particles, therefore limiting which subatomic particles can be "seen". Sadly for Fermi Labs, its super collider will soon provide antiquated. The Large Hadron Collider is being built near Geneva, Switzerland and is a joint effort among multiple nations.
Physicists hope the LHC will help answer:
Moving on from the Big Bang - The Big Suck is being planned somewhere between Seattle and San Francisco. Microsoft and Yahoo are joining forces to offer one super instant messenger of suck.
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At work I overheard someone spelling out a login or password or something. It was a sad attempt at military like spelling. It sounded like, "Bravo. Sissy. Dog. Zero. Telephone. One. One." So, in my infinite boredom, I looked up the military spelling code (I had no idea what to search for, so it took me a couple of minutes. It's called the NATO phonetic alphabet. It's my goal for the week to memorize it.
Most books on theoretical physics that I read usually leave off saying that experimental evidence will be provided once the CERN (roughly translated: Council of European Research Nuclear) Large Hadron Collider is complete and functional in 2007. Which is basically admitting the theoretical physics is so far beyond experimental physics, that they're all just guessing at this point. And they're all eagerly awaiting the new experimental data that will be provided by the LHC.
Yesterday, I found a basic movie filmed at the site of the Collider. The movie discusses how they hope to create conditions that simulate the big bang (what could possibly go wrong there?). Basically, the largest super collider is currently at Fermi Labs in Illinois. The size of the super collider limits the speed and force at which scientists can smash particles, therefore limiting which subatomic particles can be "seen". Sadly for Fermi Labs, its super collider will soon provide antiquated. The Large Hadron Collider is being built near Geneva, Switzerland and is a joint effort among multiple nations.
Physicists hope the LHC will help answer:
- Is the popular Higgs mechanism for generating elementary particle masses in the Standard Model, violated? If not, how many Higgs bosons are there, and what are their masses?
- Will the more precise measurements of the masses of baryons continue to be mutually consistent within the Standard Model?
- Do particles have supersymmetric ("SUSY") partners?
- Why are there violations of the symmetry between matter and antimatter?
- Are there extra dimensions, as predicted by various models inspired by string theory, and can we "see" them?
- What is the nature of the 96% of the universe's mass which is unaccounted for by current astronomical observations?
- Why is gravity so many orders of magnitude weaker than the other three fundamental forces?
Moving on from the Big Bang - The Big Suck is being planned somewhere between Seattle and San Francisco. Microsoft and Yahoo are joining forces to offer one super instant messenger of suck.
--------
At work I overheard someone spelling out a login or password or something. It was a sad attempt at military like spelling. It sounded like, "Bravo. Sissy. Dog. Zero. Telephone. One. One." So, in my infinite boredom, I looked up the military spelling code (I had no idea what to search for, so it took me a couple of minutes. It's called the NATO phonetic alphabet. It's my goal for the week to memorize it.
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
7/12/06 The Inferno
Chalk this up as reason number 87,489 that I hate the government.
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"Ozzie Guillen, you've just won your first all star game. What are you going to do next?"
"I'm going to the Canadian Gay Games!"
-------
Poker Jason is going to be pissed that I'm posting this story. But it's one of those things that happens maybe once a year, at best. So it's too hard to pass up (sorry, man).
A little background - Poker Jason is a HUGE NY Mets fan. In all fairness, probably more than I am a White Sox fan. We're probably the only two people on earth who have been trash talking the all star game, simply due to the winner getting home field advantage in the World Series. (Both of us strongly believe in a Mets vs. White Sox series. Well, we're each convinced that our team will be there and we're giving the benefit of the doubt for the other side).
With 2 out in the 9th inning last night, the NL up 2-1 and Paul Konerko batting, he picks up his phone. Konerko singles and I answer. I skip the pleasantries since I know he's ready to gloat about the NL win. Our conversation goes something like this:
Me: "Yeah, yeah. It ain't over yet."
Jason: "The only question left is WHO should be the MVP? Carlos Beltran or David Wright? Wright had the homerun, but Beltran had the double and the stolen base... (he tails off)"
Me: (As Troy Glaus nearly drives in the tying run, but ends up with a ground rule double.) "Are you SURE you want to be talking about this?" (AL has men on 2nd and 3rd with 2 outs).
Jason: "Who do you guys have up to bat? Who is that? Michael Young?"
Me: "Yup. A great guy to have up when you just need a single."
(I kind of forget what we talked about for the next 30 seconds. But we may have been talking about why Billy Wagner wasn't there. Or how Michael Young is no Albert Pujols. Or something like that. When, with 2 strikes, Michael Young popped the ball into the gap in right center.)
Me: "Uh oh! Uh oh!"
Jason: "A triple!? I have to hang up now. This call is a jinx."
Me: "Ok" (He's already hung up and I'm laughing, wondering if I'll ever be able to properly re-create the perfectly timed sequence of events that happened in the previous 2 minutes.)
The American League hangs on to win 3-2. Ozzie retains a decade of American League all star dominance.
10 minutes later I get a text message - "Trevor Hoffman Sucks!"
End of story.
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My favorite overhead quote of the day:
Some kid playing outside near a fountain: "Eww! Eww! Eww! Eww!"
Dad: "Hey psycho. Relax."
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Food for thought - Did the writers of The Goonies intend for the subtle, double meaning behind "One Eyed Willy"? And equally as important, why did it take me more than 20 years to put those two together?
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More food for thought - There are two types of people in this world. People who like black liquorice and people who don't. (There is no middle ground here).
--------
I've been sick the last few days and was all kinds of grumpy. I think the fact that I'm writing more is a good sign that I'm starting to feel better.
-------
"Ozzie Guillen, you've just won your first all star game. What are you going to do next?"
"I'm going to the Canadian Gay Games!"
-------
Poker Jason is going to be pissed that I'm posting this story. But it's one of those things that happens maybe once a year, at best. So it's too hard to pass up (sorry, man).
A little background - Poker Jason is a HUGE NY Mets fan. In all fairness, probably more than I am a White Sox fan. We're probably the only two people on earth who have been trash talking the all star game, simply due to the winner getting home field advantage in the World Series. (Both of us strongly believe in a Mets vs. White Sox series. Well, we're each convinced that our team will be there and we're giving the benefit of the doubt for the other side).
With 2 out in the 9th inning last night, the NL up 2-1 and Paul Konerko batting, he picks up his phone. Konerko singles and I answer. I skip the pleasantries since I know he's ready to gloat about the NL win. Our conversation goes something like this:
Me: "Yeah, yeah. It ain't over yet."
Jason: "The only question left is WHO should be the MVP? Carlos Beltran or David Wright? Wright had the homerun, but Beltran had the double and the stolen base... (he tails off)"
Me: (As Troy Glaus nearly drives in the tying run, but ends up with a ground rule double.) "Are you SURE you want to be talking about this?" (AL has men on 2nd and 3rd with 2 outs).
Jason: "Who do you guys have up to bat? Who is that? Michael Young?"
Me: "Yup. A great guy to have up when you just need a single."
(I kind of forget what we talked about for the next 30 seconds. But we may have been talking about why Billy Wagner wasn't there. Or how Michael Young is no Albert Pujols. Or something like that. When, with 2 strikes, Michael Young popped the ball into the gap in right center.)
Me: "Uh oh! Uh oh!"
Jason: "A triple!? I have to hang up now. This call is a jinx."
Me: "Ok" (He's already hung up and I'm laughing, wondering if I'll ever be able to properly re-create the perfectly timed sequence of events that happened in the previous 2 minutes.)
The American League hangs on to win 3-2. Ozzie retains a decade of American League all star dominance.
10 minutes later I get a text message - "Trevor Hoffman Sucks!"
End of story.
--------
My favorite overhead quote of the day:
Some kid playing outside near a fountain: "Eww! Eww! Eww! Eww!"
Dad: "Hey psycho. Relax."
--------
Food for thought - Did the writers of The Goonies intend for the subtle, double meaning behind "One Eyed Willy"? And equally as important, why did it take me more than 20 years to put those two together?
--------
More food for thought - There are two types of people in this world. People who like black liquorice and people who don't. (There is no middle ground here).
--------
I've been sick the last few days and was all kinds of grumpy. I think the fact that I'm writing more is a good sign that I'm starting to feel better.
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
7/11/06 Free Slurpees
Burritos are in the news again. This time as a Pulitzer Prize Winner. Ok, it's not exactly a Pulitzer Prize. But in the immortal words of Bill O'Reilly... "It's close enough to the truth." (Thanks to Mike for the story).
Let's just chalk this up as reason number 54,302 that I hate the government.
Let's just chalk this up as reason number 54,302 that I hate the government.
Monday, July 10, 2006
7/10/06 E=mc^2
From the "All that and brains too" files... Einstein had himself a whole slew of women.
In honor of the baseball all-star break, here's a little quiz testing your baseball knowledge. It's super hard. I got exactly 50% correct. Which is only 25% higher than purely guessing. And lower than any test score ever. (Except for my introductory Computer Science course in college, where I got a 42% on the final exam [after receiving a 12% on my final project] and somehow maintained a C in the class. I subsequently changed majors to something I'd suck at less.)
In honor of the baseball all-star break, here's a little quiz testing your baseball knowledge. It's super hard. I got exactly 50% correct. Which is only 25% higher than purely guessing. And lower than any test score ever. (Except for my introductory Computer Science course in college, where I got a 42% on the final exam [after receiving a 12% on my final project] and somehow maintained a C in the class. I subsequently changed majors to something I'd suck at less.)
Sunday, July 09, 2006
7/9/06 Birthday Calendar
What happened on your birthday?
Poker Player, Daniel Negreanu, has an ongoing video blog during the World Series of Poker. He's an entertaining fella.
More Family Guy Clips. Plus The Neverending Story. YEAH! Oh, and the side boob hour.
My new favorite version of Sudoku is Killer Sudoku. (I recommend printing the puzzle. It's way easier to do if you can use pen or pencil.)
Cousin Danny sends the ridiculous fact of the day. Some dude is suing Michael Jordan for $832,000,000. Guess why.
Poker Player, Daniel Negreanu, has an ongoing video blog during the World Series of Poker. He's an entertaining fella.
More Family Guy Clips. Plus The Neverending Story. YEAH! Oh, and the side boob hour.
My new favorite version of Sudoku is Killer Sudoku. (I recommend printing the puzzle. It's way easier to do if you can use pen or pencil.)
Cousin Danny sends the ridiculous fact of the day. Some dude is suing Michael Jordan for $832,000,000. Guess why.
Friday, July 07, 2006
7/8/06 Waa Haa
There's a new trend on the radio which is making me a little uneasy. Some stations are starting to play music that was popular about a decade ago (when I was in college). At the time, I wasn't super keen on the post-Seattle grunge, wuss rock. In fact, if you think about it, music went from self-loathing Seattle grunge (which defined my teenage years and, of which I remain very fond), to wannabe wuss rock (I would say that Hootie started us off and it only got worse from there) to even wussier boy bands (at which point I eventually left the country cuz I couldn't take it anymore). What a terrible decline in popular music in less than about 8 years. At the time, my friends and I who liked hard rock were trying to latch onto bands that we thought would fill the void of Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, Stone Temple Pilots, The Smashing Pumpkins and Alice in Chains. We tried really hard to convince ourselves that Creed rocked. And that Sevendust would actually have another good song. (Their song "Black" rocks.) But we were simply kidding ourselves. Music was beginning a sad, slow downward spiral into wussdom. The beginning of the slippery slope is making a comeback on the radio.
Every video for those mid-late 90s songs had some goofy, dark blue tint to make the band seem deep and meaningful. In the past week, I've heard Semisonic's "Closing Time" twice. I've also had the honor of hearing Dishwalla's "Counting Blue Cars" and Chumbawumba's "Tubthumping". Just an hour ago, the radio played that song goes, "Waa haa... And it's Goooooooood... (living with you?).... Waa haa". I'm convinced that if you played that song simultaneously with REM's "Man on the Moon", they'd sync up perfectly.
(Side Note: I just looked it up and the song is called "Good". And it reminds me of the only thing that Norm MacDonald ever said on SNL's Weekend Update that made me laugh. It went something like this. "On top of the Billboard Charts this week - "Better than Ezra". And in second place... (pause)... "Ezra". Ok, maybe it was funny because nobody laughed. Fine. Whatever, dude. I promise never to mention Norm MacDonald again. I don't have a man crush on him or anything and it's merely coincidence that I bring him up. Umm... Wait. Was that too defensive? Seriously. Just leave me alone. Anyways. Moving on...)
What else from that mid to late 90s era have I heard on the radio lately? Prodigy's "Firestarter". (Two girls on my floor in the dorm swore that "Firestarter" was the "Best video ever" and sat watching MTV for about 72 hours straight waiting to see it again.) Just about every song off of Bush's "Sixteen Stone" is being played again. (One of my roommates picked up his first guitar and 2 weeks later, thought he could play the intro to "Machinehead". Turns out there's a "Bad Midi Museum" that has a version of "Machinehead" that sounds very much like my ex-roommate. It's classic.)
At a pool party for the 4th of July, the DJ played The Spice Girls "Wannabe" (I think that's what it's called - "If you wannabe my lover, you've gotta get with my friends." Another roommate used to sing that song about each of us - "If you wannabe (Name)'s lover, you've gotta get with his friends.")
(Super tangent side note: I walked down to the pool in sandals and swim trunks for that same party. There were a bunch of people on the basketball court and they waved me over. They were having their annual 3 point contest. So, despite the sandals, I gave it a shot. You'll be happy to know that I am the 2006 3 point champion of my apartment complex. [Don't ask about the details. It's sort of embarrassing. I'd rather just tell you that I won.])
Oasis is getting a lot of play. I'm even finding myself fond of Tupac and other rap that I never consciously listened to in the 90s. "Standing outside a broken phone booth" by Primitive Radio Gods has also spent recent nights stuck in my head.
Why is this making me a little uneasy? Because it actually is making me a little sentimental. These songs have a deep, rooted place in my brain that will always bring me back to some general time and place in college. In fact, many of them have specific memories tied to them (as I've already shared some of them). How can something that drove me so crazy (the crappiness of the music) now bring back such fond memories? Music is funny that way. Songs and smells are the two things that tend to bring me back to a moment or a place or a person.
Why am I posting this? I dunno. This is the stuff that rattles around in my noggin and keeps me up nights. And if I don't tell you about it, I figure I'll die in my sleep from a seizure or aneurysm or whatever happens if your synapses over-fire. (Think Lewis Black "If it weren't for my horse" routine.) I also feel the need for comfort that I'm not the only one who is notices the comeback of wussy mid-late 90s rock. So, next time you turn on the radio, take special note of the comeback of mid-late 90s wuss rock. Let me know what is on your radio station. And go ahead. Post the songs (and memories) here.
-------------
Just as I was getting ready to post this, an ad on TV for Buzz Ballads came on. If hearing "32 Gi-Normous Hits" wasn't enough to irritate me, I had to listen to the super suckage, song after song. Hole, Diswalla, Lifehouse, Fastball, Eve 6, Remy Zero, Third Eye Blind (Never trust a band with with a number in the name), Vertical Horizon, Marcy Playground, Counting Crows (How did this whiny sack of crap date Jennifer Aniston and Courtney Cox?). Do I need to go on? Yeah, I didn't think so.
I want to be optimistic here for a minute. Let's say that real classic rock started just before Woodstock. Right around 1968. And the grunge rock revolution came around 25 years later in 1993. That means we're only 12 years away from another rock movement around the year 2018. For one, I can't wait.
Every video for those mid-late 90s songs had some goofy, dark blue tint to make the band seem deep and meaningful. In the past week, I've heard Semisonic's "Closing Time" twice. I've also had the honor of hearing Dishwalla's "Counting Blue Cars" and Chumbawumba's "Tubthumping". Just an hour ago, the radio played that song goes, "Waa haa... And it's Goooooooood... (living with you?).... Waa haa". I'm convinced that if you played that song simultaneously with REM's "Man on the Moon", they'd sync up perfectly.
(Side Note: I just looked it up and the song is called "Good". And it reminds me of the only thing that Norm MacDonald ever said on SNL's Weekend Update that made me laugh. It went something like this. "On top of the Billboard Charts this week - "Better than Ezra". And in second place... (pause)... "Ezra". Ok, maybe it was funny because nobody laughed. Fine. Whatever, dude. I promise never to mention Norm MacDonald again. I don't have a man crush on him or anything and it's merely coincidence that I bring him up. Umm... Wait. Was that too defensive? Seriously. Just leave me alone. Anyways. Moving on...)
What else from that mid to late 90s era have I heard on the radio lately? Prodigy's "Firestarter". (Two girls on my floor in the dorm swore that "Firestarter" was the "Best video ever" and sat watching MTV for about 72 hours straight waiting to see it again.) Just about every song off of Bush's "Sixteen Stone" is being played again. (One of my roommates picked up his first guitar and 2 weeks later, thought he could play the intro to "Machinehead". Turns out there's a "Bad Midi Museum" that has a version of "Machinehead" that sounds very much like my ex-roommate. It's classic.)
At a pool party for the 4th of July, the DJ played The Spice Girls "Wannabe" (I think that's what it's called - "If you wannabe my lover, you've gotta get with my friends." Another roommate used to sing that song about each of us - "If you wannabe (Name)'s lover, you've gotta get with his friends.")
(Super tangent side note: I walked down to the pool in sandals and swim trunks for that same party. There were a bunch of people on the basketball court and they waved me over. They were having their annual 3 point contest. So, despite the sandals, I gave it a shot. You'll be happy to know that I am the 2006 3 point champion of my apartment complex. [Don't ask about the details. It's sort of embarrassing. I'd rather just tell you that I won.])
Oasis is getting a lot of play. I'm even finding myself fond of Tupac and other rap that I never consciously listened to in the 90s. "Standing outside a broken phone booth" by Primitive Radio Gods has also spent recent nights stuck in my head.
Why is this making me a little uneasy? Because it actually is making me a little sentimental. These songs have a deep, rooted place in my brain that will always bring me back to some general time and place in college. In fact, many of them have specific memories tied to them (as I've already shared some of them). How can something that drove me so crazy (the crappiness of the music) now bring back such fond memories? Music is funny that way. Songs and smells are the two things that tend to bring me back to a moment or a place or a person.
Why am I posting this? I dunno. This is the stuff that rattles around in my noggin and keeps me up nights. And if I don't tell you about it, I figure I'll die in my sleep from a seizure or aneurysm or whatever happens if your synapses over-fire. (Think Lewis Black "If it weren't for my horse" routine.) I also feel the need for comfort that I'm not the only one who is notices the comeback of wussy mid-late 90s rock. So, next time you turn on the radio, take special note of the comeback of mid-late 90s wuss rock. Let me know what is on your radio station. And go ahead. Post the songs (and memories) here.
-------------
Just as I was getting ready to post this, an ad on TV for Buzz Ballads came on. If hearing "32 Gi-Normous Hits" wasn't enough to irritate me, I had to listen to the super suckage, song after song. Hole, Diswalla, Lifehouse, Fastball, Eve 6, Remy Zero, Third Eye Blind (Never trust a band with with a number in the name), Vertical Horizon, Marcy Playground, Counting Crows (How did this whiny sack of crap date Jennifer Aniston and Courtney Cox?). Do I need to go on? Yeah, I didn't think so.
I want to be optimistic here for a minute. Let's say that real classic rock started just before Woodstock. Right around 1968. And the grunge rock revolution came around 25 years later in 1993. That means we're only 12 years away from another rock movement around the year 2018. For one, I can't wait.
7/7/06 I've Got Worms
As I wrote today's date (7/7), I was reminded of one of the few episodes of "Friends" I've seen where Courtney Cox went through some routine of "Seven. Seven. Seven. Seven..." (The same thing happens when I'm silently searching for sevens in sudoku). Am I the only one?
Dumb: ABC is trying to disable fast forward on DVRs.
Dumber: Friendster patents online social networking.
Kinda Cool: 25 Things some dude learned from Google Trends.
Insignificant: 1 thing I learned from Google Trends - The upward spike early in the year on searches for "nachos" has to do with the Superbowl.
Softball team update. We're now 0-6. It's frustrating and pathetic. Actually, we forfeited since we only had 7 players at game time, and the umpire was being a prick and left. So, after the forfeit, we scrimmaged, picking up two of their players. Even worse? They put me into pitch in the fourth inning, some girl fouled the inside pitch into the corner of her eye. I ran to see what happened and the white part of her eye was bleeding. She seemed like she'll be ok. But I still feel terrible. Nobody had the heart to call her out on strikes, so we let somebody bat with a fresh count. We have one game left, then a 3 game playoff against the other 3 worst teams in the league (which are all better than us).
Dumb: ABC is trying to disable fast forward on DVRs.
Dumber: Friendster patents online social networking.
Kinda Cool: 25 Things some dude learned from Google Trends.
Insignificant: 1 thing I learned from Google Trends - The upward spike early in the year on searches for "nachos" has to do with the Superbowl.
Softball team update. We're now 0-6. It's frustrating and pathetic. Actually, we forfeited since we only had 7 players at game time, and the umpire was being a prick and left. So, after the forfeit, we scrimmaged, picking up two of their players. Even worse? They put me into pitch in the fourth inning, some girl fouled the inside pitch into the corner of her eye. I ran to see what happened and the white part of her eye was bleeding. She seemed like she'll be ok. But I still feel terrible. Nobody had the heart to call her out on strikes, so we let somebody bat with a fresh count. We have one game left, then a 3 game playoff against the other 3 worst teams in the league (which are all better than us).
Thursday, July 06, 2006
7/6/06 Giggity Giggity Goo
Maria Sharapova: "I won't stop grunting." Giggity.
The USA today is all over breaking news... People prefer power windows to hand cranked windows in their cars.
The fact that I can't check personal email or use IM at work is negatively impacting my social relationships with friends and family. It's sad in a lot of ways. It's sort of sad that I rely on electronic communication in place of face-to-face communication. But it's even sadder than I honestly don't keep in touch with enough of my friends and family anymore. My brother and I used to IM one another from work at least once an hour. Now, neither of us have IM at work and haven't really spoken in over a week. By the time I get home at night, I try to respond to one or two personal emails, but, in general, they pile up and I feel like a jerk when I wait 3 weeks to respond. But that's what's been happening in recent months. So, in a way, I'm apologizing for not getting back to anyone that hasn't heard from me in a while. But, more to the point, I'm super pissed that I can't be trusted to manage my down time in the office to catch up on emails. So now, during my down time, I waste the opportunity to keep in touch and spend it doing other mindless, useless activities. Like finding new and unique sudoku puzzles. And calculating the White Sox' magic number. And wondering why my body wastes proteins and cell divisions on making finger nails.
The USA today is all over breaking news... People prefer power windows to hand cranked windows in their cars.
The fact that I can't check personal email or use IM at work is negatively impacting my social relationships with friends and family. It's sad in a lot of ways. It's sort of sad that I rely on electronic communication in place of face-to-face communication. But it's even sadder than I honestly don't keep in touch with enough of my friends and family anymore. My brother and I used to IM one another from work at least once an hour. Now, neither of us have IM at work and haven't really spoken in over a week. By the time I get home at night, I try to respond to one or two personal emails, but, in general, they pile up and I feel like a jerk when I wait 3 weeks to respond. But that's what's been happening in recent months. So, in a way, I'm apologizing for not getting back to anyone that hasn't heard from me in a while. But, more to the point, I'm super pissed that I can't be trusted to manage my down time in the office to catch up on emails. So now, during my down time, I waste the opportunity to keep in touch and spend it doing other mindless, useless activities. Like finding new and unique sudoku puzzles. And calculating the White Sox' magic number. And wondering why my body wastes proteins and cell divisions on making finger nails.
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
7/5/06 Museum of Food Anomalies
In case you missed it, I finally finished up my WSOP experience post. Mark Vos won the event and won over $800,000.
My mom sends The Museum of Food Anomalies.
So nobody has MySpace? Nobody? C'mon. I'm trying to get my friend total into the double digits and I'm stuggling. Help a brotha' out.
My mom sends The Museum of Food Anomalies.
So nobody has MySpace? Nobody? C'mon. I'm trying to get my friend total into the double digits and I'm stuggling. Help a brotha' out.
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