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Unless you're related to Tim Duncan or you're Eva Longoria, how could you possibly root for the Spurs and their cheap shots to beat the Suns?
Along those same lines, unless you're a fan of Ivan Drago or former Illini guards, how could you not be pulling for Golden State the other night? Their fans are still awesome. I hope they come back big next year.
Historically, the Utah Jazz team has been very Mormon friendly. Even back in the day, Karl Malone was a truck driving Louisiana boy. Check out their roster - Three white European guys - Andrei Kirilenko, MehmetOkur (Cousin Danny is the founding member of his fan club) and Gordan Giricek. Even their black starters (Boozer and Williams) are cornrow free and could pass for very tan. And you wonder why Dee Brown is riding the pine.
During the Suns/Spurs game, they said that Tony "don't call me Peter" Parker turns 25 today. He's engaged to Eva Longoria. While I understand the fascination with older women, I say it's not going to last.
Why is "The World's Fastest Man", Michael Johnson, doing ads for Coors Light? You really think he comes home from a long day of cross training and kicks back with a tall frosty one? Me neither.
Does anybody really like the Pistons?
Is baseball less interesting this year? Or is it just me?
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You've probably seen these before. But it's always worth another visit... Demotivators.
"Quitters never win, winners never quit, but those who never win AND never quit are idiots."
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I'm becoming a fan of the new Old Spice commercials
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Cousin Eric sends a fun game to play in the office - Hide and Go Poop.
Ever since I can remember, retro trends have come back into style. I haven't really done any kind of official study, but there's some sort of 21-23 year lag period before retro is cool again. In the early 90's, the tie-dye, hippie, 1969 Woodstock trend came back. For a while there, bell bottoms were fashionable again too. A few years ago, the early 80's decal t-shirts started coming back. And now for a trend I can actually sort of remember. The mid 80's Nintendo trend. Except people aren't playing the games. They're performing them on stage. I'm sure out parents had no idea how these games would affect our lives. Check these out:
I'm probably going on Larry King / Ric Romero on you here. But here's a link to LiveLeak.com. It's like YouTube. Except it has videos that the mainstream media would normally avoid. Like war footage. A few of you have said that you'd be interested in getting your news from another source. Well, here's another source.
This ain't your grandma's logic problem. Here's a new twist on a hat problem. Can you give an optimal solution?
Three players enter a room and a red or blue hat is placed on each person's head. The color of each hat is determined by a coin toss, with the outcome of one coin toss having no effect on the others. Each person can see the other players' hats but not his own.
No communication of any sort is allowed, except for an initial strategy session before the game begins. Once they have had a chance to look at the other hats, the players must simultaneously guess the color of their own hats or pass. The group shares a hypothetical $3 million prize if at least one player guesses correctly and no players guess incorrectly.
Happy Mother's Day. To all mothers... thank you and congratulations. After millions of years and thousands of generations of reproduction that ultimately led to you, you have passed along your gift of life to humanity and the world. I guess what I'm trying to say is this... every so often I think about the biological game of reproductive chance that leads to a child. That, the fact that each of us are alive is a near statistical impossibility. The chance that your parents met and the chance that you got the one in 9.9 x 10^30,000 or so unique genetic pairings is something short of miraculous. (I have no idea if that number is right. I could be off by a factor of a trillion and consider myself close - I used a number that some freshman year high school biology teacher told the class and am sticking with it until I hear otherwise). So, the fact that you're here reading this, is the result of millions upon millions of years of very exact, mind-blowing statistical improbabilities that all combined just right. And, thanks to our mothers, the sense of wonder and awe continues.
Alright, I've twice tried to explain why I'm sending my congratulations and thank you's to moms across the planet. And have twice not really gotten the point across. So here, here's a video instead. Happy Mother's Day.
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From the Julia Gulia files - Mullah Dadullah has been killed.
Mister Abrams is my source for all things "Lost". I finally got the courage to ask him where he finds all of his vast information. He says SpoilerFix.com. Pretty much no matter what show you're hooked on, you can get good information there.
About once a year I post a link to the animation of Yellow Ledbetter. It's about that time again.
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In Rocky III, if Apollo Creed was, by far, the better athlete before the training montage... why didn't he fight for the title? Have times changed or was the end of the training montage considered uncomfortable back in the 80's too? And can they put "Gonna Fly Now" on the next version of Guitar Hero? I bet the squedlies and meadlies towards the end would be tough.
Mike sends a link to Pandora. A radio station that plays more of what you want and less of what you don't. Thanks to the Music Genome Project.
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Charlotte Dan is asking for your help. Out of all of the non-sensical things I write and post, the video from the other day is the only thing he's confused about. I hope somebody can explain the song played by "The Advantage".
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I went on a game show kick. So here are some more....
Sorry I haven't written much for a few days. I really haven't had much to say. And sorry to the dial up folks who can't watch the YouTube clips. I'm still going to post them. At least for a while.
What I'm about to tell you, you will either love or hate. In fact, I'm nearly certain that women will love it and men, well, you're going to be really pissed at me. From the "As if she needed another reason" files: Oral sex is linked to throat cancer.
I have a very important announcement to make. It has come to my attention that Guitar Hero is child's play compared to what's next. What's next, you ask? What's next is Rock Band. A game for four players. Lead guitar, bass guitar, a singer and a drummer. Why am I so excited? A guy's got to get excited about something, I suppose. And this is it.
I tailgated today. Honestly, I'm not sure I've really tailgated since college. I somehow met up with a bunch of very cool White Sox fans here in Southern California. Included in the bunch are the owners of a White Sox Message Board called Sox and the City. So, for the handful of White Sox fans who read this, I'd highly recommend this message board.
"With great expectations comes great disappointment." I overheard someone say exactly that at 2:30am as we were walking out of the midnight showing of Spiderman 3. The theater was filled with 3 kinds of people - high school kids, college kids, and the comic book guy from the Simpsons. I obviously don't fit the first two categories. So by default, I suppose that makes me... you know what.... I could've gone to see Tool play in San Diego last night and now this is making me super depressed.
I know nothing about comic book heroes. I've seen the other two Spiderman movies and wasn't overly impressed with either one. Yet somehow I managed to get talked into going to see this one. At the midnight premiere. Despite brewing up come coffee at 9:45pm in preparation, my buddy said afterwards, "Now I can add midnight movie premieres as things I'm not still old to do." Inside the theater, there was a couple dressed up at the two Spidermans (Spidermen? - the red and the black costumes.) Some of the teenagers brought beach balls and started throwing tortillas. And all I could think was - Don't they have school tomorrow? And when did I become the old guy?
This is a long winded way of getting to the point. Which is about the Police Captain in the movie. He's played by James Cromwell. Louis Skolnick's father in "Revenge of the Nerds". And Jack Bauer's father in the latest season on "24". And now the father of some traditional-comic-book-hot blond chick. Imagine having a nerd, an action hero and a little hottie all in the same household.
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(Thanks to Mike for the title of the post, celebrating Star Wars Day.)
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This is one of my favorite sketch comedy clips. The Little Donny Foundation. (This video is brought to you by... ah Christ, I can't get it to work. Between Google Video and Blogger (another Google tool), I'm beginning to doubt their quality standards.) If you really care to see it, it's here. I hope.
I have this problem. (I have very many problems, but for the sake of brevity and privacy, we're going to focus on this one for today). I like to think of myself as somebody who thinks a few steps ahead, like some sort of champion chess player of life. Without congratulating myself too much, I tend to make decent decisions based on that premise. However, in recent months I've found myself making little spur of the moment decisions at inopportune times.
For example, I have this habit of returning home from wherever I am and wanting to make a phone call. So I'll pull out my phone and dial someone - right at the moment I'm heading onto the freeway. Merging into traffic isn't exactly Guitar Hero on expert mode... but I still could have waited an extra 30 seconds to get up to speed and then make the call. My phone calls tend to sound like, "Hey... uh... hey. How's it going? Umm.... I'm... I'm... I'm good. How are you?" At which point, whoever is on the receiving end starts to wonder what in the hell is wrong with me.
Same goes with instant messaging. I'll think to myself... man, I need to drop a deuy. Then I'll send an IM to a friend to say hello. Or I'll fire up an online game of poker. Where's the logic in that? I'm creating my own horse and cart problem. It's the point where I had to bring my wireless connection into the bathroom yesterday.
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Since we're in week 2 of 9 weeks of NBA playoffs, there are a couple of things worth noting:
Nobody's saying it. But, post 1980, you never, ever, ever thought that an MVP vote would come down to two white guys.
The Golden State Warriors have the absolute best fans. (I'm writing this with the score of 7-3 Golden State... make that 10-3... And for those fans alone, I want Golden State to win this game.) 12-3.
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Dapper Dan sends a video called The Landlord. It's from a site called Funny or Die, where, it appears that the public votes on videos and only the funny ones survive.
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Thanks to Northwestern Nicole for sending this music video. If you're female. Or you know a female, you may be able to relate...
Question: What do the following numbers represent? 343/355/367/769?
You may be inclined to think it has to do with baseball. That it's the top batting averages or OPS or something like that. They're not. Nor are they solutions to the Riemann Hypothesis (although two of the numbers are prime). They are the price per gallon I saw today of 1) regular unleaded gas 2) plus unleaded gas 3) premium unleaded gas and 4) orange juice at Trader Joe's. Why the fourth? I guess I was surprised that my once tasty, organic and freshly squeezed $4 gallon on Trader Joe's orange juice has now crossed the threshold where I can no longer, in good conscience, buy it.
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I once saw an Eephus pitch. On September 4th, 2004. I would like to see another one.
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Did you happen to catch the democratic debates the other day? With Obama, Hillary Clinton, some other people you sort of recognize and... wait... is that my friend's crazy grandpa going on another tirade?
Not only is the final Harry Potter book coming out this summer... AND, not only is the 5th movie coming out too... BUT, if you watch the movie on IMAX, the final 20 minutes will be in 3D.
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You can see Roller Derby in Orange County, CA. Who wants to go?
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Poker Player Chris Ferguson took on a challenge to start playing poker online with no money and turn it into $10,000. The premise is that he'd have to play some free tournaments and win a couple of dollars. Then he'd have to parlay that money into more and start working his way up the ranks. If you're interested in the entire story, it's here.
In honor of combining two videos that don't belong together - Jack Bauer interrogates Chunk.
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Continuing in the tradition of some more of my favorite things - Tool and Saved by the Bell. (Sure, it isn't Pink Floyd and The Wizard of Oz. But heck, what is?)
As if our intelligence hasn't been insulted enough after watching, "Deal or No Deal" (NBC) and "Are you Smarter than a 5th grader?" (FOX), ABC decided they didn't want to be outdone - They are continuing to work its way down the food chain - So be sure to set your TiVos and DVRs for May 18th for a neuron churning episode of National Bingo Night. B-4. Not after. B-4.
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I'm hoping to learn to play the ancient Chinese game "Go". I found it on Yahoo Games. So... If you're interested in learning with me, we can now play online together.
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I've been having lots and lots of dreams lately, especially dreams with friends and family. One dream I had wasn't about friends and family though. It was about baseball. In the dreams the White Sox traded Joe Crede to the Angels for KelvimEscobar. You're probably wondering why I'm telling you this. I guess the reason is this - If, by the slimmest of chances the trade actually happens, I can begin touting psychic dream abilities.
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So gross. Yet so worth it. A big thanks to everyone who helped me out this past weekend...
Ok, I've finally found a place to show you a recent video of Mel Kiper Jr., his hair and the extra red ESPN sign. It's here. I know for sure if you click on the Chicago Bears link and play the video, you can see it.
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I don't have an easy time writing about tragedy. You probably noticed I haven't written a thing about the Virginia Tech shootings. Mostly because there's not really anything insightful that I could possibly say. That being said, I received an article from Hot Corner Heidi about the shootings. It is very detailed and touching and is worth sharing.
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I don't expect that you'll miss reading this much. But I won't be writing for the next few days. So have yourselves a good weekend.
Over the average life, a person "will eat over 10,000 bars of chocolate, shed 121 pints of tears and have sex more than 4,200 times". According to this new documentary...
"The show takes viewers on a journey from babyhood, when we get through 3,796 nappies and produce 254 litres of urine, through to old age and death, by which time we will have eaten 10,866 carrots, taken 7,163 baths and passed wind an average of 15 times a day."
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In a follow up to the pluot confusion, I found out that Zaiger's Genetics has patented other hybrid fruits:
Aprium — a patented hybrid of apricot and plum Nectaplum — a hybrid of nectarine and plum Nectarcot — a hybrid of nectarine and apricot Peacotum — a hybrid of peach, apricot and plum Pluot — a patented hybrid of plum and apricot
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Also, in a follow up to the Rex 84 postcard... well, it's real.
(Photo is from PostSecret, courtesy of No-longer Neighbor Natalie)
Some random thoughts:
I want to date a woman who plays a lot of poker. Then, the first time we're about to, uh, "get intimate", I'll look deep into her eyes and say, "Baby... This is your Degree all in moment". If she sticks around after that, she's definitely a keeper.
Speaking of procreation, I bought some plums yesterday. Only, when I pulled one out to eat it yesterday, the stickers on each one said "pluot". Pluot? What the hell's a pluot? Is that a brand? Or did a plum really bone an apricot? And how do plants bone without visible genitalia? Turns out, it really is a plum/apricot hybrid. But it looks just like a plum. So, just a suggestion here... the apricot may want to go on Springer and get a paternity test. Then again, maybe not. Because I'm going to eat its children either way.
Target seems like a good place to meet women. Even before you introduce yourself, you can learn a lot about them just by watching them shop. For example, I saw an attractive young lady walk into the cavernous aisle of toilet paper. She walked out with the bargain, 1-ply, swish-around-the-poop-without-getting-all-of-it and risk-poking-your-fingers-through brand. Rule #793 when it comes to dating: (Write these words of wisdom down kids)... "If she doesn't care enough about her butthole, she won't care enough about you either."
My friend mentioned the Lionel Richie "Hello" video today. (If I remember, I'll tell you why later this week). And it reminded me of my favorite Starburst commercial.
Nachos are in the news again. (This time I'm not involved, nor is the poor quality and upkeep of my website mentioned). But this article is way cooler than the other one. It has to do with a high school fight over nachos and a girl who wants to eat nachos at every place in Boston that serves them. And, even though the fight puts a dent in my vision for nachos and world peace, the article ends - "Actually, I'm surprised more fights don't break out over nachos."
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I guess this was just a sports weekend for me. It's not often that I watch this much sports on TV. But I'm currently watching the Yankees vs. Red Sox on ESPN - Mostly since I was interested in seeing DaisukeMatsuzaka pitch. The first thing I noticed is that he has a really goofy windup. He takes the normal step backwards, then he stops and wiggles his butt, then he slowly continues the windup. It almost seemed illegal. So I looked up the rules. Rule 8.01(a) states:
Rule 8.01(a) Comment: In the Windup Position, a pitcher is permitted to have his “free” foot on the rubber, in front of the rubber, behind the rubber or off the side of the rubber. From the Windup Position, the pitcher may: (1) deliver the ball to the batter, or (2) step and throw to a base in an attempt to pick-off a runner, or (3) disengage the rubber (if he does he must drop his hand to his sides). In disengaging the rubber the pitcher must step off with his pivot foot and not his free foot first. He may not go into a set or stretch position—if he does it is a balk.
So there's no rule against the butt wiggle. For those not familiar with Daisuke, he's known by the pronunciation of "Dice-K". And since "K" is the symbol for strikeout, it's a little extra cool. People in the stands have posters showing one side of a die and a K, supporting their new pitcher. Which is cool, too. Except that their signs are reading as "Dyke". Sure, it's one of those dick-ish things to notice. But still. If you're going to 1) buy tickets to a game 2) set aside your evening for the game and 3) spend the time to make a poster for the game... the least you can do is put 2 dice in front of the "K". That's all I'm saying. (I realize that they may be using those posters to count total strikeouts.... But, for example, after the 3rd strikeout, use the 2 and 1 dice instead of the 3 die.)
I'm a sports fan, as you know. I wouldn't consider myself one of those excessive sports nuts. But I do follow a few teams, I attend events every so often and I even play some of those sports at a very, very, very amateur level. I record ESPN's Pardon the Interruption everyday to keep up with the latest sports news. And I'll even follow that up on occasion with a dose of SportsCenter. I'm excited for the NBA playoffs to start. I'm enjoying the early goings of the baseball season. And I'm finally recovering from the Bears loss in the Superbowl more than 2 months ago.
What I'm not very fond of is the NFL Draft coverage. We're still more than a week away from the draft itself and, for at least the last 10 days, I've seen excessive amounts of coverage on it. To help prove my point, name 5 guys that will be drafted in the first round. How many did you come up with? Four? Okay. Good job. Ok, now how many of those guys could you have named a month ago before this ridiculous coverage started? It's like they're teaching you what to think about these players without you realizing what's happening. Instead, you show up at work, acting like you're some sort of athletic talent expert, spouting off names like JaMarcus Russell and Calvin Johnson. It works the same way with politics, as they spoon feed us topics of discussion and debate on the TV news and we then act like we're some sort of expert the next day, getting ourselves all hot and bothered over something we didn't give two shits about the day before. (I've save the political discussion for another day, perhaps over a nice cup of coffee. But the point remains valid and I hope you take some time to think about that.)
I'm sure that I'll check ESPN.com sometime next weekend and find some article about the top few guys drafted and who the Bears picked up. But I won't know who they are. And neither will you. But I'll read a bio on the first round pick and hope that he'll fill some void and then I'll forget about him until the fall. And they're overall grade will be a B-, given by some other guy I've never heard of and I'll pretend to care again.
This has been a real long, roundabout way of getting to my main point... which is.... Mel Kiper Jr. scares the shit out of me. I don't know if it's his hair. Or the fact that he just shows up once a year, absolutely basking in these few weeks leading up to the NFL Draft. Or maybe it's the recent footage with the super red ESPN sign which accentuates his shaking head when he gets excited and talks about something. Flip on ESPN when they're doing something NFL related this week - you'll see what I'm talking about.
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I got my pupils dilated today for like 4 hours. So I think the inability to see clearly, combined with the vampire sensitivity to light, short circuited something in my head.
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Sticking with sports and drafts - Cousin Eric sends an article about the 1985 NBA draft lottery. If you're not familiar with it, back then all of the teams that didn't make the playoffs got an equal shot of earning the top pick in the draft. So, they just put 7 envelopes in a lottery barrel and picked them "at random". The conspiracy was that Commissioner David Stern wanted so badly to save basketball (The Magic Johnson, Larry Bird, Michael Jordan thing hadn't happened yet), that he rigged the lottery so that the New York Knicks (A big market team) would get the first pick (which everyone knew would be Patrick Ewing). The conspiracy I always heard is that he froze the envelope so he'd know which one to pick.
"When an accountant from Ernst & Whinney throws the seven envelopes into the glass drum, he bangs the fourth one against the side of the drum to create a creased corner (we'll explain why this is relevant in a second). Then he pulls a handle and turns the drum around a couple of times to "mix" the envelopes up. At the 5:23 mark of the clip, Stern heads over to the drum, unlocks it and awkwardly reaches inside for the first envelope (the No. 1 pick). He grabs three envelopes that are bunched together, pretends not to look (although he does) and flips the three envelopes so the one on the bottom ends up in his hand. Then he pulls that envelope out at the 5:32 mark ... and, of course, it's the Knicks envelope."
Just last night I began thinking about the technological marvels of the past 100 years or so. Actually, I should word that differently... I didn't "begin" thinking about it last night. But it was on my mind. Then the thought process took off on some tangent - Without boring you, I'll try and give you a brief synopsis. The thought process was as such - Many of the world's tallest buildings, specifically the ones here in the U.S., were built between 40 and 80 years ago. (For those keeping track at home, the Chrysler Building and Empire State Building were built in 1930 and 1931. The World Trade Center and Sears Tower were built in 1972 and 1974.)
Then I started thinking, why? Why did we, as a country, stop large skyscraper construction? And does large construction really have any value? Is it purely based upon ego? Or have we moved from a society based on doing what feels right to one that is purely based on dollars and cents. Why was the I Luv You not listed in Ludwig's records? And if it was, did he know about it? And if he didn't, who did? And where the hell was I?
Then today, I read that Chicago has approved the construction of a 150 story building. And all I could think was - That's awesome.
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The plan was to put a video of Mark Buehrle's no hitter here. But, in their infinite wisdom, Major League Baseball continued to remove those videos off of the internet throughout the day. You know, because they'd somehow lose revenue and interest if people watched highlights of their sport and one of the greatest feats in said sport. I shouldn't be pissed. But it's just ridiculous - At the very least it might spread extra interest in baseball to people who might not otherwise watch it.
That being said, congratulations to Mark Buehrle and the first White Sox no hitter in 16 years. And since I can't find a video of that feat, I leave you with this instead... Good old fashioned cartoon racism.
It's not everyday that nachos headline the news. According to the article, the nacho obsession is just starting to hit the web. I'll just sit back, relax and know that the Nacho Expert and I were nearly a decade ahead of our time.
I'm normally not outwardly envious of many people. But Fighter Pilot Jeremy sent me a link that really got me thinking. It's about a professional video game player. Who has made over $500,000. But then I kept reading and didn't feel so envious....
"Pereira says top gamers like Wendel devote 12-16 hours a day practicing. They keep themselves in shape mentally and physically so they can compete in tournaments that can go on for days."
I didn't post anything yesterday, so there's a double dose for today. Instead of being something cool, this dose is more of an annoucement. (No, I'm not getting married or anything - don't get your panties in a bunch).
I just got a few tickets to see the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim play on Thurday, April 26th at 12:35pm. If you'd like to join me, they're free. First come, first serve. Whatever that means.
And while we're talking sports, the Bears are opening the 2007 season in San Diego. I'm all about going to the game if possible. If you have serious interest too, let me know and I'll do my best to find tickets.
Game Over - I'm finally done with that Japanese Game. Four hours, 16 minutes of my life wasted. Well, even more time if you count the phone calls and IMs I was getting from friends looking for help. Thanks to "skooky" for commenting yesterday that he/she finished too. That makes the grand total of 4 people who have finished it. Teacher Bob has the best time - somewhere around 3 hours.
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In case you finished the game and are looking for another challenge, here's something out of the old files - The Dark Room.
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I had the distinct pleasure of losing my "Irish Nacho" virginity last night. If you haven't done so, I would highly recommend it.
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Bill Gates remains the world's wealthiest man. I bet you can't name the dude in 2nd place. (Hint: It's not the IKEA guy).
TROGDOR! TROGDOR! Trogdor was a man I mean, he was a dragon man Or maybe he was just a dragon But he was still TROGDOR! TROGDOR! Burninating the countryside, Burninating the peasants Burninating all the peoples And their thatched-roof COTTAGES! THATCHED-ROOF COTTAGES! (Whoa, this has wicked dueling guitar solos! It's like, Squeadly versus Meadley over here. Go Squeadly! Go Squeadly! Squeadly WINS!) When all the land is in ruin, And burnination has forsaken the countryside, Only one guy will remain. My money's on TROGDOR! TROGDOR! And the Trogdor comes in the NIIIGHT...
I got home tonight and remembered that I'd get to watch the White Sox on WGN. But the game wasn't starting for another 15 minutes. And I have severe ADD, so I felt like I HAD to find something else to watch. Then I remembered that I have HBO and Cinemax for free until tomorrow. So I went up to those channels and decided I'd watch "Return of the Jedi" until the game started. It had been a real long time since I had seen that movie (which will become even more evident in a minute).
Maybe it's just me, but the movie was un-turn-offable. Especially since I started watching an hour before the end. It may also be that other than E.T., this was one of the first movies I remember seeing in the theater as a kid. (Ok, at this point if I ruin the ending for you, you've had nearly a quarter century to watch it and I don't feel bad). The lasting memory of the final scene in the Ewok Village always got to me. With the cremation of Darth Vader and that awesome song. Except I was watching the updated version of the movie. And they changed the song! What the hell, dude?! Even worse - Cinemax has the choice to air the original, awesome version or the redone, no Ewok song version... and well, what the hell?
I know you probably don't want to think about this, but I've always wanted that song played at my funeral. For no reason - I just thought it would lighten the mood and people could dance and sing instead of being all funeral like.
(I realize that I'm complaining almost a decade too late. But still. It ruined what was already a stellar ending to a movie.) Turns out, I'm not the only one who's upset:
"As much as Star Wars fans bitch about the Ewoks, we realize that they are indeed unavoidable. And over the years, we've come to enjoy our little victory celebration song at the end of the trilogy. Sing it with me: Yub-yub, ee-cha, yub-yub. So what the hell do they do in the Special Editions, but replace the song with some stupid Yanni-sounding New Age thing that, if at all possible, sucks worse than the original Ewok song ever dreamed of sucking. I think what cheeses me off the most is that they took the time and effort to delete the Ewok song, why not just delete the Ewoks altogether? If you're gonna change things, at least change the things that need to be changed."
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Did you try the game from yesterday? Have you gotten more than 9 items? Uh, if you did... can you tell me how?
For those of you interested in the finest Republican wardrobe and accessories - Ronald Reagan Gear.
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Ok, here's a new game/distraction for today. You may think I'm posting this out of kindness. I'm not. The game is driving me crazy. And now, it's going to drive you crazy. Perhaps, together, we can figure this puppy out. As of this post, I can get 3 items and trap myself in a move that reminds me of the original Zelda... You know, where the only way out was to have the candle and burn yourself alive? Admit it, you know what I'm talking about. And even if you don't, you're gonna check out the game now.
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You know that super collider I mention every so often? The one that's being built by the greatest scientific minds near Geneva, Switzerland? Yeah, uh, it's gonna be delayed. Due to, uh, mathematical errors in its construction. (Thanks again to Mike for the article).
This sort of reminds me of "Raiders of the Lost Ark"... Where God is getting all kinds of angry, spewing down thunder and lightening when they were digging for the universal secrets of the ark. Well, if you're into that whole divine intervention warning system that might make sense.
The Half Day Inn is closed. After 164 years. Thanks to Mike for letting me know. And thanks to the Half Day Inn for the memories.
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The US Air Guitar Championships, coming to a city near you. (Yes, near ALL of you - Chicago, LA, Columbus, Austin, New York... I think that covers just about everyone who admits to reading this).
Couple is fighting to allow their baby to keep the name "Metallica" - Thank to Poker Jason for the article.
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My new thing is to finish each post with some feel good video. Hopefully something that'll make you smile, at least for a few seconds. This began yesterday with some comedy. As you know, I'm not real good at keeping my promises. But I'll try and keep this up - at least for a while. Here's more from the same guy as yesterday, Pablo Francisco.
Since the major league baseball season has kicked off, I'm sure I'll be talking baseball for at least the next few weeks. Today I came across my new favorite "statistic". It's "Win Expectancy". It might not quite be what you're expecting. At any point during a game, you can go to this page, and enter the score, where the runners are, what inning, how many outs, etc... And it will dig through decades of games to determine, based on past results, the likelihood that your team will win. Some dude was keeping track on my favorite White Sox blog today. When the number got below 10% I stopped keeping track.
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Once again I have a story about shopping at Target. But it's not like the other ones. You've already heard me bitch and moan plenty about spending too much money there. This story is about checkout time. This particular Target has 22 checkout lanes. Four of them were open. Two of those four were express "10 Items or Less" lanes. Leaving 2 lanes for the rest of us. Each of those 2 remaining lanes had 4 or 5 people in line. Apparently at Target, that is unacceptable. Two ladies were on their poor-excuse-for-secret-service communicator device dealies, frantically yelling, "We need one person from the green zone and another from the blue zone up front now." As a customer, I can appreciate the urgency. Personally, I had nowhere to be, so waiting an additional 6 minutes wasn't my utmost concern. But here's what did concern me. They were looking for 2 cashiers to fill in for maybe 5 or 10 minutes, right? Just to get through this particular rush. And there were two of them looking for other Target employees to come up front? Why didn't they just help out instead? If you're a long-time, trained employee, I would imagine that you could fill in as a cashier for a few minutes.
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Cousin Andy emails a BBC documentary of LosAngeles in 1972. He says that the film, in part, may persuade him to come visit. I always welcome visitors. So, if it worked for him, perhaps it'll do the same for you.
A few years ago I tried doing an April Fool's joke here. And it sucked. So I've vowed not to try it again. Besides, by the time you read this, it'll be April 2nd. Or 3rd. Or 9th. Christ, I don't know how often you read this. Point being, you're probably asleep already. Instead, here are the Top Ten April Fool's Hoaxes.
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In honor of the 2007 Major League Baseball Season, I've found a page that combines two of my favorite things.... The Chicago White Sox and Oregon Trail.
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Who says Americans are no good at anything anymore? Congratulations to Thomas Snyder for winning the World Sudoku Title.
I'm sure you've seen the video of Karl Rove rapping and dancing, right? What can you really say about it? That this guy was the "mastermind" behind the Bush campaign strategy? The story I want to tell is about the other dorky white guy from the video - Comedian Colin Mochrie. He's one of my favorite improv guys, made famous from "Whose Line is it Anyways?". (Forgive me if you've heard this story before).
A number of years ago (probably around 2002) for a very brief time I lived near downtown Chicago a few blocks east of Michigan Avenue. To get exercise, I'd walk to my office on Canal Street in the morning (if you know the city, it was quite a hike). One morning I saw a guy a block away walking towards me that looked like Colin Mochrie. But you always see people from a distance that look like celebrities and friends. Add that to my normal morning head fog, I thought nothing of it. Except the closer he got, he still looked like Colin Mochrie. Now, I'm kind of shy (and was more so back then), but at the very last second I decided I wanted to say something to him. What ensued was nothing short of a Chris Farley Show impersonation. All that came out of my mouth was, "You're awesome." He slowed down and politely said, "Thanks." To which I responded, "No man, you're really just AWESOME." He appeared to maybe be getting frightened by my insistence and thanked me again and walked away. To this day I still feel like a jackass for that.
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This next story was sent by both Cousin Eric and Northwestern Nicole and was featured on PTI... The NIT Championship shirts for West Virginia were misspelled. The say "Virgina". Yikes. On the bright side, I now know who won the NIT.
Sometimes you wonder why products and services cost what they do. In fact it may be a little infuriating to know how much those products and services have been marked up above cost. Well, simmer on this for a minute - Text messages are marked up 7314% over the cost of the data transfer.
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And finally, a fun little game - Jumping Frogs. The object is to get the frogs to the opposite sides. They can jump one rock at a time or they can leap over one of the opposite colored frogs. You'll figure it out.
Northwestern Nicole has sent a website some of her friends have come up with - A Guide to Nicknaming Your Friends. Before this, I only knew one rule about nicknames - You can't give them to yourself.
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If you're planning a trip to London anytime soon, might I suggest using Google Maps? Pay close attention to step #20 in the directions.
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Ok, one more Vegas story. Well, more of a question for people who go to clubs. The promotions people at my hotel were all about selling time shares and other garbage that would require way too much of my time. So after 2 minutes of listening, I pulled the "I'm unemployed" card and they just gave me some cards for free food and free entry to the nightclub at Caesar's Palace. (Note: I wasn't staying at Caesar's and this seemed like a polite way for them to tell me to leave). The card was good for "Pure Tuesday". I thought the club was named "Pure", but I think it's the Pussycat Doll Lounge. Or something like that. Anyways, after dinner on Tuesday, I decided that, despite my little-to-no interest in clubs, I wanted to see why everyone else goes. You know, since I had a free "VIP" pass. I got to Caesar's around 10:50 pm. There were probably 1500 people waiting outside of the club, which hadn't yet opened. (Another Note: My ability to estimate numbers in crowds is horrible. What I can tell you is that there were more than 400 people and less than, oh, let's say, 40,000.
I walked around to figure out where the line started, if there was any. Since I had no other plans for the night, I decided that, at the very least, I could people watch as I waited. The doors opened a little after 11:00 pm. My thought process was as such - Let's see how fast the line moves and I'll decide whether or not to stick around after that. I won't tell you stories of what occurred over the next hour, but at midnight, I did a little estimation-like math and decided that I wasn't getting in the doors until about, oh, 2:30 am. So I left. Which leaves me with the question that I promised... What's so great about these clubs? There was nothing in my wildest dreams that could have been behind those doors that would have convinced me to stay in that line any longer. Seriously - what's in there? Other than the overall douchebaggery that I saw from the people in line in the first place. (Final Note: I don't know where (if anywhere) I heard douchebaggery recently. But I really like it. Expect it some more in upcoming posts).
Have you ever wondered what is being made from the steel of the fallen World Trade Center buildings? Mike sends the answer.
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I have a recommendation if you go to Vegas and you're looking for something different to do during the week. (For those of you like me who can't gamble for hours on end and aren't into clubbing). On Monday nights, The House of Blues at Mandalay Bay has Rockstar Karaoke. Instead of regular karaoke, you get a live band, stage monitors and full on lighting. Even if you don't sing, the talent is pretty impressive and it's like watching a good cover band for a few hours.
That's it for Vegas stories. I promised the group I was with that I wouldn't write about anything else. So that's that.
My dad sends an article to the newest attraction at the Grand Canyon - It's a glass walkway that extends 70 feet from the edge of the canyon and 4000 feet above the bottom.
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Are you messy? Are you a slob? That's cool - most likely you're more productive
I was talking to a friend about the daily stress of life and how busy we all can get. And I was reminded of a story I read a number of years ago. Here it is:
An expert in time management was speaking to a group of business students and, to drive home a point, used an illustration those students will never forget. As he stood in front of the group of high-powered overachievers he said, "Okay, time for a quiz" and he pulled out a one-gallon, mason jar and set it on the table in front of him. He also produced about a dozen fist-sized rocks and carefully placed them, one at a time, into the jar.
When the jar was filled to the top and no more rocks would fit inside, he asked, "Is this jar full?" Everyone in the class yelled, "Yes."
The time management expert replied, "Really?"
He reached under the table and pulled out a bucket of gravel. He dumped some gravel in and shook the jar causing pieces of gravel to work themselves down into the spaces between the big rocks. He then asked the group once more, "Is the jar full?"
By this time the class was on to him. "Probably not," one of them answered.
"Good!" he replied. He reached under the table and brought out a bucket of sand. He started dumping the sand in the jar and it went into all of the spaces left between the rocks and the gravel. Once more he asked the question, "Is this jar full?"
"No!" the class shouted. Once again he said, "Good." Then he grabbed a pitcher of water and began to pour it in until the jar was filled to the brim. Then he looked at the class and asked, "What is the point of this illustration?"
One eager beaver raised his hand and said, "The point is, no matter how full your schedule is, if you try really hard you can always fit some more things in it!"
"No," the speaker replied, that's not the point. The truth this illustration teaches us is: If you don't put the big rocks in first, you'll never get them in at all.
What are the 'big rocks' in your life -- time with your loved ones, your faith, your education, your dreams, a worthy cause, teaching or mentoring others? Remember to put these BIG ROCKS in first or you'll never get them in at all." So, tonight, or in the morning, when you are reflecting on this short story, ask yourself this question: What are the 'big rocks' in my life? Then, put those in your jar first. "
Cousin Eric sends a trip down memory lane. An old commercial with the song Right Field. He's been looking for a copy of the entire song. We both searched and came up empty. So we're asking you to help us find "Right Field".
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Now a bit of trivia - What do Florida Nudists and my cousins have in common? You know you want to know the answer.
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From a fun perspective, this post is going to quickly head downhill. Just warning you. (Although, one positive is that there hasn't been a gigantic earthquake yet - LOTS of small ones. But no biggie.)
It appears that we could potentially be ready for another recession. Yay for foreclosures and extending too much credit.
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Today I watched This Film is Not Yet Rated. If you're interested in censorship and more about the film rating system (who's involved, how the ratings are determined, what's ok to release, etc.) it's worth a go.
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I came across a little film about media control. Which is sort of related to the above movie. But it takes a nasty angle and is very anti-Jewish. I think it's important people know this stuff is floating around YouTube. Especially since they're trying to make a bold point about a greater Jewish conspiracy.... Lumping Rupert Murdoch in there as owner of NewsCorp. While I agree that too few people control the media, there's at least one huge problem with the above film.... Rupert Murdoch Roman Catholic. (I worry that this might open some can of worms - it's more to just be informative and to maybe help prevent undue racism and hatred towards a group of people.)
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Ah hell, let's end with something fun while we're talking about censorship and things you're not supposed to see.... I present The Sickest Girls on the Internet.
March Madness is great. It gives hope to so many college sports fans. Then, for most of my friends and family, it gets crushed. In my circle of college sports friends, I probably hear the most about Duke, Illinois, Miami and Indiana. The first three teams all lost their opening games by 2 points. And Indiana just lost today. Looks like we all need a new bandwagon team.
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Maybe Dukies can't play basketball... But then can invent cool beer tossers.
How was your Pi Day? Did you make sure to watch the movie "Pi" at exactly 3:14 pm? Uh, yeah... umm... err... neither did I.
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I was watching "Robot Chicken" and they had a spoof on Japanese game shows. Their show was called "Who Poop Last?" This got me thinking - Hey, I bet YouTube has real Japanese game shows. (As you've noticed by now, this happens a few times a week... The "I bet YouTube has...." realization.)
So in no particular order, here's some of what I found:
Guys trying to say tongue twisters and when they don't they get whacked in the nuts.
A classroom of students watching some poor guy trying to speak English - And whenever they laugh at the video, they get whacked in the ass. (In the spirit of Veronica "so hot, want to touch the heinie" Vaughn, you don't pick on someone trying to read. But I'll admit that I laughed when the guy was counting.)
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Putting the bible to shame, 12 millions copies of Harry Potter 7 are being printed.
Tomorrow is 3/14. And thanks to Mike, he's passed along that's it's also Pi Day. (3.14 - get it?). Coincidentally, I have the movie "Pi" at home. I suppose that I'll celebrate tomorrow by watching it. What about you? Any celebrations planned?
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The Nacho Expert completed his "Tackle the Tower" run last month. However, the fundraising and donations can still be submitted until March 15th... If you'd like to contribute to the American Lung Association on behalf of his Tower Climb, it's available here. He tells me that he's 2nd in total fundraising and I think he's shooting for #1. (I forgot to ask how much more he needs - If you're reading this, let us know).
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My advice for the day: If you're thinking about murdering someone, don't use Google on your office computer to search for "How to commit murder".
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From the "It's time for kicking ass and chewing bubble gum. And I'm all out of gum" files: In the early days of home computer networking and gaming over networks (we're talking not even 10 years ago), my roommates and I played a lot of Duke Nukem. If you know the game, I assume you're also getting a little teary-eyed reminiscent too. Turns out that doctors are using Duke Nukem to help diagnose depression. Fortunately the diagnosis has nothing to do with consecutive hours of play or total number of classes missed.
Cousin Dave sends a link to Global Talent Associates. Or, as we'd all better recognize it - How's Chunk doing today?
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It's rare that I post anything about doing something good. But this one is real easy if you have 20 seconds to spare:
"Women’s shelters in the U.S. go through thousands of tampons and pads monthly, and, while agencies generally assist with everyday necessities such as toilet paper, diapers, and clothing, this most basic need is often overlooked. You and I may take our monthly trips down the feminine care aisle for granted, but, for women in shelters, a box of tampons is five dollars they can’t spare. Here’s some good news: you can help us contribute to rectifying this situation by making a virtual donation below! For each virtual donation, Seventh Generation will send a pack of organic cotton tampons or chlorine-free pads to a shelter in your state."
You know you love those goofy local cable commercials. For those of you in the Chicago area, you'll remember the Eagle insurance guy that lays an egg on the car. This page has 50 of the greatest local TV commercials.
For those of you that went to college with me... I'm looking for a commercial that we used to see all the time. Remember that furniture place? We used to call it "Downer". But I'm not sure that's what it's really called. From what I remember, there were two guys just yelling, "Downer, downer, downer. We're going downer..." One of them had a bull whip if memory serves correctly. And they always gave you a free onion for stopping in. I'd be much obliged if any of you have a copy of this commercial.
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As a kid my family dog retrieved a dead bird from the backyard. For a retriever, that was cool. But for my mom, it was pretty gross. This reminded me of that.
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Super bonus points: Without searching, what does the post title have to do with anything?
Richard Jeni shot and killed himself. Sad. (On a personal note, I have a photo I took with him a number of years ago. Which is probably the only photo I have with someone who eventually killed himself. Hopefully it's the last.)
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You know how Google is chock full of ads? To the point where your GMail yields ads based on your conversations? Well, I got an ad the other day for Recycled Elephant Poo Paper Products. Naturally I had to click on it.
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Congratulations to the NCAA field of 64. Let the madness begin.
Klugh: Mikhail. Mikhail! You know what to do. Mikhail: We still have another way [out]. Klugh: We can't risk. You know the conditions. Mikhail: There is another way. Klugh: They captured us. We will not let them find the area ("territory"). Klugh: You know what to do. It is an order. Mikhail: We still have another way! Klugh (in English): Just do it, Mikhail. Mikhail: Forgive me. (shoots)
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Cousin Kevin is gearing up for the upcoming baseball season and sends an article about the White Sox. The best quote in the article has to be "As a bonus, the White Sox relievers should do a great job of dominating the offensive boards."
Probably half my life ago, I remember playing Tetris on Gameboy. I would bring the Gameboy into the bathroom and play on the throne until my leg fell asleep. During the Tetris phase of my life, I'd occasionally close my eyes and see the pieces falling. It's been a long, long time since then. But I'm seeing a game again in my sleep. This time it's Guitar Hero. The story behind getting Guitar Hero is worth telling another day.
While I'd like to think that I have decent hand eye coordination, I searched YouTube to find out that, well... I don't. Check out this 8 year old jamming out. And these dudes will give you an idea of what some of my buddies were up to this weekend. (Except that we struggled with far easier levels). And finally, some dude who might actually be good enough to pull off his act.
The game's pretty awesome. Frustrating. But awesome.
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A couple of weeks ago I said that if you're playing fantasy particle physics that you should draft the Higgs Boson next season. Nearly 8 months ahead of my November prediction, Mike sends an article that Fermilab may have found a hint of the Higgs Boson. You may have to register to read it, so here's some of it:
Fermilab data hint at Higgs boson 6 March 2007
Physicists working at the HyperCP experiment at Fermilab in the US claim they may have glimpsed the first Higgs boson -- the particle many think is responsible for all mass in the universe. However, for their claim to be correct our current 30-year-old Standard Model of particle physics would have to be set aside in favour of an alternative "supersymmetric" model (Phys. Rev. Lett. 98 081802).
The great triumph of the Standard Model is that it unites two of the fundamental forces – the weak and electromagnetic force – into a single, symmetric "electroweak" force at high energies. But at low energies, a symmetric electroweak theory would imply that particles have no mass, which is clearly wrong.
This is where the Higgs boson comes in – a particle that can break the electroweak symmetry at low energies. If our current Standard Model is correct, the much-sought Higgs would have a mass somewhere in the 100 GeV to 1 TeV region, which should allow physicists to discover it at the 14 TeV Large Hadron Collider at CERN once it starts up in November.
Poker Jason continues to send races to run. According to him, the order is: the 5k, then the mud run, and now before the run across the Sahara... The Death Race. (If you have the time, watch the video. It's insane.)
Somebody mentioned that you don't see "Tom and Jerry" on TV anymore. I thought, well, yes - that's true. But you also don't see the Muncheechees or the Snorks on TV anymore either. But I suppose that historically, I'm comparing filetmignon to a KFCsnacker. The reason, I was told, that Tom and Jerry is no longer on TV is that it is far too violent by today's cartoon standards. While I'm not completely sold on the idea (since I can come up with plenty of violent cartoon examples), in the 24 hours after that conversation, "Tom and Jerry" came up a few more times.
The most interesting is from Iranian TV - A film seminar discussing Tom and Jerry. If the subtitles are correct, the lecturer talks about "Tom and Jerry" as a Jewish conspiracy to improve their image after World War II.
That led me to more Iranian Children's programming where they're celebrating "Jerusalem Day". And you wonder why there will never be peace in the Middle East.
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A week ago I had no idea who Bertrand Russell was. In fact, I still don't. But I saw one of his quotes on Google and I liked it. So I checked out a whole lot more of his quotes and those, too I liked. So my historical figure for the week is Bertrand Russell.
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The US Postal Service is increasing stamp prices to 42 cents. What's new is that they may allow for "forever stamps". Meaning that when rates go up again, you can use that stamp without having to buy those pesky one and two cent stamps to make up the difference. They're good forever. I can only imagine people lining up, buying hundreds upon hundreds of stamps to stock up for the next couple of decades. (God help me if anyone tells me about their "stamp investment") When, in reality, stamp prices since 1980 have kept amazingly close to inflation. The annual increase in stamp prices over the past 27 years - 3.6023%. The annual increase in inflation over the past 27 years - 3.6046%. It would be a brilliant move by the post office - why not get the money up front? Every lottery winner takes the money up front, even when it means taking a discount.
