9/30/05 80's Arcade Songs

RetroCrush.com has the top 10 arcade game sounds of the 80's.

Do you think pop singers make side bets amongst themselves? I imagine Gwen Stefani and Kid Rock have had this on going bet for the last ten years. They challenged each other to who can put the most ridulous lyrics in a song and still be number one on the billboard charts? Kid Rock shot out to a commanding lead with "Bawitdaba da bang a dang diggy diggy diggy said the boogy said up jump the boogy" repeated about 20 times in the appropriately named song "Bawitdaba". Gwen, who thought "Spiderwebs" would've been plenty, now realized that she was far behind Kid Rock. This depression is what actually caused her to break up with that guy from their band. But for the past 6 years Gwen hasn't conceded defeat. Late 2004, she had an inspiration. She thought to herself - "What if I teach kids how to spell in my song? What if I keep spelling the word bananas? Yes. Brilliant. That's it!" After many painful nights, trying to incorporate bananas into a song about, Lord knows what, she settled on the brilliant, "this sh*t is bananas. b-a-n-a-n-a-s". Kid Rock.... You're on deck.

9/29/05 You Can Put It On the Board....

YES!

This Sudoku thing is huge. You can do tons (millions?) of puzzles at www.websudoku.com. They range from easy to evil. I did a medium one today. Perhaps I'll move up to hard. Update - I hit a road block in the middle of the hard one. I'll give it another try tomorrow.

BBC posts this year's top 10 science pictures.

Ahh, kiddie terrorists. How cute.

My mom emailed me, saying that she was reading this blog and wanted to know if the planet dissolving dust cloud was for real. It seems like a joke, but can anybody tell me for sure?

Some dude playing a two neck acoustic guitar. (Give it time to load).

RPS is now up to 25 throws. Stop the insanity.

9/28/05 Sudoku

I must live in bubble world. According to CNN, Sudoku is all the rage in the U.S. I had never heard of it until today. It's sort of like a crossword puzzle with numbers. I printed out and tried the 2 sample ones from the CNN article. The easy one was, well, easy. And the medium one... took me far longer to complete than I would have expected. On the surface the concept seems so simple. But, like the Rubik's Cube, it's not necessarily so.

Farming of the future. A company called OrganiTech is proposing using technology and skyscrapers to grow food. Read the article - it's interesting.

Mike, what would I do without your brilliant links? I've always said that if I were wealthy, the first thing I'd buy is one of those top end massage chairs. Now I'm not so sure - The Swash might have ousted the chair on top of my list.

And while we're on the subject.... (thanks again to Mike)

Ah, the final week of baseball. And all of the "what if" scenarios. I put together my own "what if" scenario today. What if the White Sox (94 wins) lost their remaining 5 games? And what if the other 3 teams in the hunt (Cleveland, Boston and New York - 92 wins each) all won their last 5 games? Well, Boston and New York play each other 3 more times - so they can't both win out. So Cleveland would finish with 97 wins and the best record. And Boston and New York can finish with 96 and 95 wins if they each win at least one game in their final series together. Which would leave the White Sox one game short of the wild card with 94 wins. All that being said, the White Sox really need to win one more game OR one of those teams needs to lose one more game to guarantee a tie. You'd think they'd be ok. But this is Chicago - ya never know :)

9/27/05 Crazy Fads

Man, ever since college I thought that Harvey Danger invented Flagpole Sitting. Turns out it was a Crazy Fad in the 1920's.

I think I found where all of the French draft dodgers went. (I don't understand a lick of French and there's a high probability that the clip is in some other language and that my lame joke doesn't even apply).

Despite dropping 2 of 2 to the lowly Tigers, the magic number has dropped to 4.

9/26/05 Ten Worst Tech Products Ever

CNet.com lists its Top Ten Worst Tech Products Ever. Furby made the list. I kinda liked Furby.

What's in a label? MSN explores the meaning behind food labels. Free Range? "Free-range—on eggs, chicken and beef; defined by the USDA only for poultry, not eggs or beef. Label implies that the bird spent its days freely roaming the countryside, when legally it means only that the bird was given access to the outside for as little as five minutes each day, and not that it actually did go out."

My dad sends a link to Chat Abbreviations. I would've guessed he wouldn't know all about these, BWTHDIK.

The 2005 Rock Paper Scissors World Championships are right around the corner. Are you curious what kind of RPS player you are? I thought you might be. Also, check out Team Czech Republic.

A few great minds are working on the answer to yesterday's poker problem. Everyone I've spoken to has agreed that the total number of unique flops are 22,100. That is calculated as 52 C 3. So, in a 52 card deck, the equation is (52*51*50)/(3!). So, 22,100 flops. The reason you divide by six is a flop of 2 of clubs, Queen of hearts and 10 of spades can come off 6 ways:

2c, Qh, 10s
2c, 10s, Qh
Qh, 10s, 2c
Qh, 2c, 10s
10s, 2c, Qh
10s, Qh, 2c

Part 2 of the question - How many flops would you need to see in order to see all 22,100 combinations? This guy I work with wrote a little program - He set up a random number generator for all number between 1 and 22,100. Each iteration, the program would check if at least one number had never appeared. If so, it would iterate again. This continued until iteration number 302,604. We'll do more trials tomorrow, I'm sure. Still no formula, but we're making progress.

9/25/05 Office Slang

Office Slang.

• CGI Joe - A hard-core CGI script programmer with all the social skills and charisma of a plastic action figure.
• Salmon Day - The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed in the end. “God, today was a total salmon day!”
• Umfriend - One with whom one has a sexual relationship; as in, “this is Dale, my...um...friend.”

Magic number is 5.

I spent nearly my entire day with 3 guys who play WAY more poker than I do. Two of them play for a living. The question arose from one to the other - "Do you think you've seen every combination of flops possible?" Which leads me to the unanswered questions for the night. For any statistics or math nerds out there, we're dying to know the answers to....

1) How many possible flops (3 card combinations are there from one deck of cards) are there?
My initial answer would be 52*51*50. Or 132,600. Assuming that each suit is important. Poker Jason says we need to divide that number by 6 due to ordering. But we could be way off. Ideas?

2) Given the total number of possible flops (answer to the above question) - How many random flops would you need to see in order to see them all, given a 95% confidence factor. I think the answer is HUGE. Again - ideas???

9/24/05 Making Your Way in the World Today Takes Everything You've Got

The Boston Herald has created the monster of all tournaments - Vote on your favorite TV Theme Songs of all time.

WTF? (Safe for work. But could potentially haunt you while you sleep.)

Here's a game called Thing Thing 2.

Look for me at the NY Giants vs. San Diego Chargers game tomorrow night. I'll be the guy wearing the LaDainian Tomlinson jersey.

9/23/05 iGod

Talk to God over the computer. I asked "Who is the best poker player ever?" God said "William Shatner". I had no idea.

And the Emmy goes to....

Asshat.

9/22/05 The Cheerio Effect

Scientists explain why cereals tend to clump together for survival in milk. Still no explanation of why British people are lame.

Poker Jason sends an article on Hurricane names. And ponders why there will never be a Hurricane Xavier. He also ponders why he continues to bust out of tournaments with pocket queens.

The Sports Guy's quote of the day archive.

9/21/05 What's Our Vector, Victor?

Roger, over. Huh? What?

Dutch talk show host plans to take heroin and LSD on air. What could possibly go wrong?
That's it.

9/20/05 Nachos

Nachosrule.Blogspot.com got mentioned in Newsweek (it's the 6th one). Take that, Google blog search.

The gods must be angry. For the first time since I moved to California, we're having thunderstorms. I live near a bay that is surrounded by small cliffs - Those kind of cliffs where houses fall during mudslides. Anyways, the sound of the thunder roared and resonated off the walls of the cliffs all night. No doubt Indy and Sallah were digging for the lost ark.

From the high tech files - An audio recording of your typing (the clickety clack sounds) can be transposed into real text. "The researchers were able to take several 10-minute sound recordings of users typing at a keyboard, feed the audio into a computer, and use an algorithm to recover up to 96 percent of the characters entered."

Mike sends a brilliant article - How to combat protesters.

9/19/05 Aaaargh Matey!

Today be Talk Like a Pirate Day.

Watching the White Sox down the stretch is like having one of those dreams... Ya know, those dreams where you really can't move. Those dreams where you're running a race and you're 10 feet from the finish line and you're a quarter mile in front of everybody. And you can't get there. One of those dreams where you're running for a touchdown and are stuck at the 5 yard line, and you look behind you and see 11 defenders about 50 yards behind you, bearing down on you. That's what the last few weeks have felt like. Their magic number remains at 11. Worse yet, they've just added a magic number for the wild card race... ya know, just in case.

Remember how I was complaining how searches on "nachos" don't result in this website? Well someone just searched on "how many times have the prime interest rates changed since 6/21/04". Yup, Something I learned today came up. Go figure.

9/18/05 Grow Cube

Here's some game called Grow Cube. I really don't understand the rules, nor am I sure if there's an official way to win. But I got the game to clap, so I assume that's good.

More evidence that "The Big One" is about to hit California. If I die in it, I hereby give full access to this blog to the Nacho Expert upon my death. That's really all I own. Can a blog be a legally binding document?

A sign that I'm getting old - The top 100 albums from 2000-2004. I recognize about a dozen of them. But a sign that I have decent taste in music, all 3 Radiohead albums made the list, including #1.

Point / Counterpoint. Man, I love The Onion.

9/17/05 Planet Dissolving Dust Cloud

Except for the fact that this story is under the "Entertainment News and Gossip" section of Yahoo, it's pretty freaky. "Scared-stiff astronomers have detected a mysterious mass they've dubbed a "chaos cloud" that dissolves everything in its path, including comets, asteroids, planets and entire stars -- and it's headed directly toward Earth." The best line of the article is that last one - "Americans shouldn't panic until all the facts are in." Ya know, since nobody else outside of America might care.

As a kid I used to have vivid dreams about the harvest moon. To the day, I can remember them in detail. The harvest moon is back this week.

Yoda's hitting the bottle again.

Thanks to Zug.com for linking to NachosRule.com!

A flash game called Deduction. I got lucky and won the first time I played. I don't feel like playing again since I know I'll probably never solve another one.

9/16/05 I'll take "Ape Tit" for $600, Alex

Every Celebrity Jeopardy skit, ever, in one place. Maybe I was wrong when I was sitting in my cublicle around hour 39 this week of staring at a wall, cursing to myself, "There is no God".

Nintendo releases its design for their new controller. It's the frontrunner to surpass ColecoVision as "Worst controller design ever.

The Government gives you a $2000 card to do with as you please. Where would you go?

This is what I thought Roshambo really was after watching South Park.

This guy has William Hung written all over him.

20 things tech companies don't want you to know.

Like Marble Madness. Without the cool theme song.

In response to my complaint about the Nachos Rule blog on Google's blog search, Google Nicki IMs me - "Maybe to up your placement in the blog listing for nachos you should include more references to nachos in your listings." There is NO way that any other blog mentions nahcos more than this one. Not a chance. My challenge is to find one that does. It'll be harder than proving Fermat's Last Theorem. Speaking of, I thought I figured it out at work, given all my free time. 1782^12 + 1841^12 = 1922^12. Eh, close enough.

ASPCA - Relief Efforts in New Orleans

My mom asked if I would help spread the word about The American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals.

Make sure to check out the Hurricane Katrina FAQs.

The President of ASPCA, Ed Sayres, addresses rumors regarding animal treatment in New Orleans:

The ASPCA has been on-site in the New Orleans area since Monday, August 29, working as part of a coalition of animal welfare agencies to conduct animal rescues, treat and shelter thousands of pets lost and abandoned in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. We are privileged to be able to help the animals in this disaster, and will do so until the last one is safe.
The conditions in the disaster zone are unbelievably difficult, and rescuers are working around the clock to do everything possible for both human and animal victims. Toward this end, the ASPCA is doing its best to focus, keep calm and stay true to our mission: Save Animals. Unfortunately, the tragedy doesn't end with an animal's rescue. Designated facilities (the Lamar-Dixon Exposition Center and Louisiana State University) are over capacity, and the spread of disease is rapidly becoming an issue not only for those animals not yet found, but for those already in overcrowded facilities.
Yes, some of the unfortunate stories you are hearing are true. There are confirmed reports of animals being shot in local parishes. From what we have been able to determine, there are genuine issues of public safety. There are concerns about protecting the integrity of human remains. And there has been a loss of command and control in some of the areas where law enforcement officials do not understand how to handle free-roaming dogs. To make matters worse, vandals and looters with firearms are a threat. On behalf of concerned citizens, ASPCA Public Information coordinator Luiza Grunebaum contacted the office of Louisiana Governor Kathleen Blanco to inquire about the dog shootings that took place in St. Bernard's Parish. According to a governor's aide, the shootings occurred under the orders of Sgt. Mike Minton, the sheriff, who "took this upon himself." Grunebaum was told the shootings have ceased, and Sgt. Minton faces disciplinary charges as a result of his directive.
Along with numerous other humane groups, we are doing everything we can to get as many animals out as possible. We understand how frustrating it can be to hear radio and television reports and feel helpless. We also know how much you care about the animals--we do, too.
We are working with state, local and federal officials to keep order and make sure the animal rescue effort is successful and keeps moving forward. The scale and type of this disaster has never before been experienced. Fortunately, heroes are emerging every day.
We continue to work 24/7 to save as many animals as possible in the region, and ultimately hope to reunite as many as possible with their owners.
We are grateful for the continued outpouring of support for our animal rescue efforts and for the concern for ASPCA staff members, who are conducting water rescues and regularly find themselves in very precarious positions. Our ground crew is providing daily updates on our website, http://www.aspca.org/, which also contains more information about our hurricane relief efforts.
In New Orleans and across the country, the ASPCA and its dedicated employees are working tirelessly to ensure that each and every animal affected by Hurricane Katrina is cared for. Thanks again for your support.

Edwin J. SayresASPCA President & CEO

9/15/05 Achoo

This morning as I was getting dressed, I happened to be looking in the mirror as I sneezed. Which made me realize, unless you have a sneeze of your own on video tape, you have no idea what you look like when you sneeze. Chew on that, self conscious people. The Nacho Expert was going to steal this fact for his "deep thoughts" blog. We roshambo-ed for it. The RPS Champion retains his belt.

Search Google for "failure". The results might not surprise you.

Is this guy a good football player? Yeeeeaaaaah!

Cousin Kevin has made a rare, yet much appreciated email appearance. He sends Coincidence or Conspiracy?

In case you missed it in yesterday's comments, Cousin Jeff sends an NFL time waster. I'm not gonna read it yet, lest I be bored at work again tomorrow.

Ok, work story du jour. Day four in the office. Some guy swings by to let me know that he has a phone for me. (Eh, only 4 days until I get a phone - not too bad). After some confusion over my new phone number, he asks if I know how to set up voicemail. I said yes and showed him that I already have the memo. He continues to explain it to me anyways. He tells me that the default password is "1 2 3 4 5". To which I responded, "1 2 3 4 5? That's amazing! I've got the same combination on my luggage!" Neither he or the admin standing with him found any humor in what I said, and both seemed a little annoyed.

Google Nicki IMed me soon after the sneeze incident this morning to show me Google's Blog Search. She made sure to link me to a search on "nachos", which, ironically, contains none of my blog entries. Thanks Nicki - way to build up a guy's confidence. You work for Google - Can't you fix it? If you search on "Nachos Rule", The Nacho Expert shows up 1st. Followed by a bunch of other blogs... that aren't this blog....

Ok, a new game - Eat the Pie. I did it in 16 bites. I guess 15 is possible. Good luck.

Webshots... Search on "wasted". 281,437 results. Gotta love the youth of America.

9/14/05 Finger on the Button

George W. Bush is one signature away from having pre-emptive nuclear strike powers. Sadly, there is no punchline.

Screw 4 blades. The competition can keep that. The Gillette 5 blade razor is coming out in 2006. Again, sadly, there is no punchline.

What if "The Big One" hit Los Angeles?

It's been a while since I've posted The Sports Guy's inbox. It's a great way to kill time at work. I copied it and pasted it into a Word Document, so it looked like I was actually busy. Which I wasn't - They said I won't have email or access to anything for another week or two. Man, my new job rules. The unintentional comedy moment of the day was some guy going ballistic over the soap dispenser in the bathroom. He couldn't get the no-touch dispenser to work and he went off, "Fucking piece of shit! Mother Fucker!". Hey for a lame day in a lame office, you've gotta appreciate those kind of outbursts.

9/13/05 Irish Heritage

Celebrate Irish Heritage - as seen on The Family Guy. (Sorry Mom, I know we're part Irish and all).

Another game I suck at.

Thanks to everyone who has heard me complain about my new job. It rules as much as, whatever the opposite of nachos would be. My favorite part of the day is the mens room. Not only do they play classical music (I'll forever think of dropping a deuce when I hear Vivaldi now), but the toilet paper is the brown, industrial grade, hand paper towel texture. Hurts like hell. The best part is that the sinks are on the right and on the left.... start using your imagination here.... From near to far.... Urinal, urinal, stall, stall, urinal, disabled stall (with a big sign letting us know to not use that stall if you aren't disabled). So, if you're gonna take a dump, it's the in the middle of the urinals. Or if you're the 3rd person to take a leak, you're between dumpers. It just doesn't seem right. The point of all of this is.... I found a solution to my work situation.

I was watching South Park and the episode was about NAMBLA. UHHHH. From their website:

"The North American Man/Boy Love Association (NAMBLA) was formed in 1978. It was inspired by the success of a campaign based in Boston's gay community to defend against a local witchhunt.

NAMBLA's goal is to end the extreme oppression of men and boys in mutually consensual relationships by:

• building understanding and support for such relationships
• educating the general public on the benevolent nature of man/boy love;
• cooperating with lesbian, gay, feminist, and other liberation movements;
• supporting the liberation of persons of all ages from sexual prejudice and oppression.

Our membership is open to everyone sympathetic to man/boy love and personal freedom."

9/12/05 Rock Paper Scissors. Times 5.

As a competitive Rock Paper Scissors athlete, I'm not sure how I feel about changing the rules. Nor am I certain what kind of person it takes to add 12 more throws to the mix.

Csonka csaved from csinking cship in Bering Csea.

The Telecrapper. It's not what it sounds like. Yet it still rules. Thanks Mike. Here's how it works.