Friday, July 25, 2008

P90X Best Quotes and Moments

As many of you know, I somehow duped myself into doing P90X this summer. If you're unfamiliar with P90x, it's a workout routine that you'll see on a whole bunch of late night infomercials. It's 90 straight days of working out for 60-90 minutes per day. And it's meant for people that are in way better shape than I am. Honestly, I am hoping that my "after" photo looks as good as most "before" photos in their advertisement.

To give you an idea of how sad it is I'm doing this, I was telling Cousin Eric today that my goal is to be able to do one honest to goodness pull up by the end. Even sadder is that I've never been able to do one in my life and it would be an amazing accomplishment.

Since the workouts consume 60-90 minutes of my day... everyday... that's all I've been talking about lately. Just the other day I made it to the halfway point. Now, you'd probably expect me to talk about my numbers and give some sort of half way progress report with pounds and inches lost and strength gained. But that's not my style. Nor are my numbers all that impressive. In fact, I was about to say that I'll give a full report after 90 days, but I don't want to make any promises.

What I did want to do, however, was come up with some sort of "Top Ten" type list for those who have done P90X. This only really makes sense for those who have done the workouts since you've spent dozens of hours with Tony Horton and are starting to feel like he's living with you. So, my apologies to those who haven't done P90X - I know this all seems elitist and exclusionary.

There are so many classic moments in these videos that I want to make this some sort of "Work in Progress" where people can submit their own "P90X moments". So, if you have a P90X story/moment/favorite quote, send them to In the meantime, here's my preliminary list to give you an idea of what I'm getting at here:

- Just about halfway through the yoga video, Tony talks about doing the best downward dog of your life. He then proceeds to say, "They're coming in to shoot the cover of Downward Dog Magazine." I laughed the first time. Now I look forward to it as inspiration.

- Just to make you feel worse about yourself, one of they guys in the Plyometrics (jump training) video has a prosthetic leg.

- Phase 2 brings all sorts of harder push ups and pull ups (not that I could do a whole lot of regular ones to begin with). At the end of the Phase 2 pull up day, Tony talks about doing pull ups that are easier for you if you're "wasted" and the ones you don't like if you still have energy. Needless to say I'm beyond wasted every time, hoping to do maybe 6 pull ups with the aid of a chair. Then smiley chick on the right in the video says, "I'm going to do corn cob pull ups." For those unfamiliar, corn cob pull ups are pull ups where, at the top of the pull up, you move your body right, then left, then away from the bar, then towards the bar, before going down again.

- Does Tony really need to do the pterodactyl every time he does the big reverse arm circles? Wasn't it enough in one video? If my count is right, he does it in three.

- Since you do the Ab Ripper X routine more than any other (three times a week), everything gets magnified. A few minutes before the end, Tony walks in from the back, acting all macho, slowing saying, "Ab.... Ripper... X..." For whatever reason I hate that.

- Tony's dad really threw some no hitters? He says so at the end of the Plyometrics video. Who's his dad? I actually checked the all time no-hitter list for the major leagues and there's no Horton on there. What's he talking about? Slow pitch softball?

- Thanks for the P90X recovery drink shameless promotion at the end of every workout.

- What are the odds that Tony and Dreya Webber are/were hooking up? Even odds? Big Brown 1-5 kind of odds?

- I love those pot stirrer cool downs at the end. Tony always asks what kind of soup people are stirring. During Phase 2, Phil says, "I'm stirring up trouble." Tony is obviously upset that somebody else was trying to be funny. Phil's my new hero.

- Speaking of Phil, he gets verbally massacred during the Stretch video. I somehow have a feeling that they filmed the previous pot stirring video first and Tony decided to get revenge here by pointing out how inflexible Phil is.

Thanks to newly discovered Cousin-in-Law Chris M. for some more fantastic P90X moments...

- "X me baby"

- After a tough set he'll look at the computer and say "Now that's.....P90X"

- "The Georgeous Dreya Weber"

- "German Potato Soup!"

- "How many are you going to do Phil?, How many are you going to do Morraine". I'll still be doing pushups when both of you are done". What an ass!

- (Send more and I'll keep this list updated)

Thursday, July 17, 2008

7/17/08 KK

A gigantic congratulations to Kelly Kim on making the final table of the World Series of Poker Main Event. The event began with 6,844 players each paying $10,000 to enter. The November Nine remain. I had been receiving daily blog updates from Kelly via Poker Jason outlining the ins and outs of his experiences throughout the week. It's super exciting to see someone you know make the final table, especially knowing that he's guaranteed $900,000 already. Sure, he's the short stack, but there's plenty of poker left to be played and stranger things have happened. (Poker Jason - If there's a link to his blog, let me know and I'll post a link... Kelly's needling of Phil Hellmuth is priceless.)


Speaking of poker, a computer beat some some professionals heads up. The computer won 3 games to 2. This is a giant feat for computer nerds, as poker is a game of imperfect information (since you don't know what your opponent is holding). Which makes the programming far more complex than, let's say, chess, where you know exactly what you opponent has and can do.


Remember a couple of years ago when I'd talk about my softball team and how bad we were? I mean, we got mercy ruled just about every time out bad? Well, in addition to our D-league championship last fall, we're 6-0-1 so far this season. We even got bumped up a league due to our "stellar" performance last time around. Don't let the undefeated record fool you - Until tonight, every one of our wins was by three runs or fewer. But we put on a show tonight, amassing a 14 run inning. After 12 runs, the umpire went out to the field and joked "Time out for the team in the field to take a bathroom break." I'm sure the other team didn't find it quite as amusing as we did.


Kidney stones are on the increase due to... Wow, is there any global warming CAN'T do?


I meant to post this on Bastille Day....


Under my umbrella ella ella eh eh eh.... (Yeah, I'm still kind of obsessed)....


And certainly not least, thanks to Mike who, I am proud to announce is now part of Mr. and Mrs. Mike... What I'm trying to say is he got married this past weekend and deserves all sorts of congratulations...

Friday, July 11, 2008

7/11/08 Wii Fit

Facebook is confusing. It says I have 150 friends. But when it comes to social plans, it's closer to 4. It seems like something academic enough where I could write a Master's Thesis on it.


Have you joined the Wii craze yet? I know it's been around for a year and a half now. But my crowd is finally starting to get Wii's. One of my four friends is even having a Wii Party this weekend. Being more of a traditional gamer, I still think I'd get a PS3 over a Wii if given the choice. But I tried Wii Fit at my brother's last week. It's one of those games where you just have to get better. You say, "Oh sure, I'll try it." Then you're standing there four hours later still trying to get your bubble boy down the river. My opinion is swinging towards actually considering a Wii. If I wasn't convinced enough already, Zoo Magazine(?) has made quite the closing argument. I bet her Mii doesn't have the gut like mine does.


Major League Baseball chose one of my favorite songs of the last couple of years for their All Star game promo. It's called "Lazy Eye" by the Silversun Pickups. (I know, I'm also shocked that I listen to music written this century). So, kudos to Major League Baseball, right? Not so fast. They select the part of the song that repeats "I've been waiting for this moment all my life..." What they neglect is the second half of that sentence. Which says, "...but it's not quite right." Given Jason Varitek's selection to the game and the controversy surrounding World Series home field advantage at stake, perhaps it's more appropriate than I originally thought.