Friday, September 30, 2005
Do you think pop singers make side bets amongst themselves? I imagine Gwen Stefani and Kid Rock have had this on going bet for the last ten years. They challenged each other to who can put the most ridulous lyrics in a song and still be number one on the billboard charts? Kid Rock shot out to a commanding lead with "Bawitdaba da bang a dang diggy diggy diggy said the boogy said up jump the boogy" repeated about 20 times in the appropriately named song "Bawitdaba". Gwen, who thought "Spiderwebs" would've been plenty, now realized that she was far behind Kid Rock. This depression is what actually caused her to break up with that guy from their band. But for the past 6 years Gwen hasn't conceded defeat. Late 2004, she had an inspiration. She thought to herself - "What if I teach kids how to spell in my song? What if I keep spelling the word bananas? Yes. Brilliant. That's it!" After many painful nights, trying to incorporate bananas into a song about, Lord knows what, she settled on the brilliant, "this sh*t is bananas. b-a-n-a-n-a-s". Kid Rock.... You're on deck.
Thursday, September 29, 2005
This Sudoku thing is huge. You can do tons (millions?) of puzzles at www.websudoku.com. They range from easy to evil. I did a medium one today. Perhaps I'll move up to hard. Update - I hit a road block in the middle of the hard one. I'll give it another try tomorrow.
BBC posts this year's top 10 science pictures.
Ahh, kiddie terrorists. How cute.
My mom emailed me, saying that she was reading this blog and wanted to know if the planet dissolving dust cloud was for real. It seems like a joke, but can anybody tell me for sure?
Some dude playing a two neck acoustic guitar. (Give it time to load).
RPS is now up to 25 throws. Stop the insanity.
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Farming of the future. A company called OrganiTech is proposing using technology and skyscrapers to grow food. Read the article - it's interesting.
Mike, what would I do without your brilliant links? I've always said that if I were wealthy, the first thing I'd buy is one of those top end massage chairs. Now I'm not so sure - The Swash might have ousted the chair on top of my list.
And while we're on the subject.... (thanks again to Mike)
Ah, the final week of baseball. And all of the "what if" scenarios. I put together my own "what if" scenario today. What if the White Sox (94 wins) lost their remaining 5 games? And what if the other 3 teams in the hunt (Cleveland, Boston and New York - 92 wins each) all won their last 5 games? Well, Boston and New York play each other 3 more times - so they can't both win out. So Cleveland would finish with 97 wins and the best record. And Boston and New York can finish with 96 and 95 wins if they each win at least one game in their final series together. Which would leave the White Sox one game short of the wild card with 94 wins. All that being said, the White Sox really need to win one more game OR one of those teams needs to lose one more game to guarantee a tie. You'd think they'd be ok. But this is Chicago - ya never know :)
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
I think I found where all of the French draft dodgers went. (I don't understand a lick of French and there's a high probability that the clip is in some other language and that my lame joke doesn't even apply).
Despite dropping 2 of 2 to the lowly Tigers, the magic number has dropped to 4.
Monday, September 26, 2005
What's in a label? MSN explores the meaning behind food labels. Free Range? "Free-range—on eggs, chicken and beef; defined by the USDA only for poultry, not eggs or beef. Label implies that the bird spent its days freely roaming the countryside, when legally it means only that the bird was given access to the outside for as little as five minutes each day, and not that it actually did go out."
My dad sends a link to Chat Abbreviations. I would've guessed he wouldn't know all about these, BWTHDIK.
The 2005 Rock Paper Scissors World Championships are right around the corner. Are you curious what kind of RPS player you are? I thought you might be. Also, check out Team Czech Republic.
A few great minds are working on the answer to yesterday's poker problem. Everyone I've spoken to has agreed that the total number of unique flops are 22,100. That is calculated as 52 C 3. So, in a 52 card deck, the equation is (52*51*50)/(3!). So, 22,100 flops. The reason you divide by six is a flop of 2 of clubs, Queen of hearts and 10 of spades can come off 6 ways:
2c, Qh, 10s
2c, 10s, Qh
Qh, 10s, 2c
Qh, 2c, 10s
10s, 2c, Qh
10s, Qh, 2c
Part 2 of the question - How many flops would you need to see in order to see all 22,100 combinations? This guy I work with wrote a little program - He set up a random number generator for all number between 1 and 22,100. Each iteration, the program would check if at least one number had never appeared. If so, it would iterate again. This continued until iteration number 302,604. We'll do more trials tomorrow, I'm sure. Still no formula, but we're making progress.
Sunday, September 25, 2005
- CGI Joe - A hard-core CGI script programmer with all the social skills and charisma of a plastic action figure.
- Salmon Day - The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed in the end. “God, today was a total salmon day!”
- Umfriend - One with whom one has a sexual relationship; as in, “this is Dale, my...um...friend.”
Magic number is 5.
I spent nearly my entire day with 3 guys who play WAY more poker than I do. Two of them play for a living. The question arose from one to the other - "Do you think you've seen every combination of flops possible?" Which leads me to the unanswered questions for the night. For any statistics or math nerds out there, we're dying to know the answers to....
1) How many possible flops (3 card combinations are there from one deck of cards) are there?
My initial answer would be 52*51*50. Or 132,600. Assuming that each suit is important. Poker Jason says we need to divide that number by 6 due to ordering. But we could be way off. Ideas?
2) Given the total number of possible flops (answer to the above question) - How many random flops would you need to see in order to see them all, given a 95% confidence factor. I think the answer is HUGE. Again - ideas???
Saturday, September 24, 2005
WTF? (Safe for work. But could potentially haunt you while you sleep.)
Here's a game called Thing Thing 2.
Look for me at the NY Giants vs. San Diego Chargers game tomorrow night. I'll be the guy wearing the LaDainian Tomlinson jersey.
Friday, September 23, 2005
Thursday, September 22, 2005
Poker Jason sends an article on Hurricane names. And ponders why there will never be a Hurricane Xavier. He also ponders why he continues to bust out of tournaments with pocket queens.
The Sports Guy's quote of the day archive.
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
The gods must be angry. For the first time since I moved to California, we're having thunderstorms. I live near a bay that is surrounded by small cliffs - Those kind of cliffs where houses fall during mudslides. Anyways, the sound of the thunder roared and resonated off the walls of the cliffs all night. No doubt Indy and Sallah were digging for the lost ark.
From the high tech files - An audio recording of your typing (the clickety clack sounds) can be transposed into real text. "The researchers were able to take several 10-minute sound recordings of users typing at a keyboard, feed the audio into a computer, and use an algorithm to recover up to 96 percent of the characters entered."
Mike sends a brilliant article - How to combat protesters.
Monday, September 19, 2005
Watching the White Sox down the stretch is like having one of those dreams... Ya know, those dreams where you really can't move. Those dreams where you're running a race and you're 10 feet from the finish line and you're a quarter mile in front of everybody. And you can't get there. One of those dreams where you're running for a touchdown and are stuck at the 5 yard line, and you look behind you and see 11 defenders about 50 yards behind you, bearing down on you. That's what the last few weeks have felt like. Their magic number remains at 11. Worse yet, they've just added a magic number for the wild card race... ya know, just in case.
Remember how I was complaining how searches on "nachos" don't result in this website? Well someone just searched on "how many times have the prime interest rates changed since 6/21/04". Yup, Something I learned today came up. Go figure.
Sunday, September 18, 2005
More evidence that "The Big One" is about to hit California. If I die in it, I hereby give full access to this blog to the Nacho Expert upon my death. That's really all I own. Can a blog be a legally binding document?
A sign that I'm getting old - The top 100 albums from 2000-2004. I recognize about a dozen of them. But a sign that I have decent taste in music, all 3 Radiohead albums made the list, including #1.
Point / Counterpoint. Man, I love The Onion.
As a kid I used to have vivid dreams about the harvest moon. To the day, I can remember them in detail. The harvest moon is back this week.
Yoda's hitting the bottle again.
Thanks to Zug.com for linking to NachosRule.com!
A flash game called Deduction. I got lucky and won the first time I played. I don't feel like playing again since I know I'll probably never solve another one.
Friday, September 16, 2005
Nintendo releases its design for their new controller. It's the frontrunner to surpass ColecoVision as "Worst controller design ever.
The Government gives you a $2000 card to do with as you please. Where would you go?
This is what I thought Roshambo really was after watching South Park.
This guy has William Hung written all over him.
20 things tech companies don't want you to know.
Like Marble Madness. Without the cool theme song.
In response to my complaint about the Nachos Rule blog on Google's blog search, Google Nicki IMs me - "Maybe to up your placement in the blog listing for nachos you should include more references to nachos in your listings." There is NO way that any other blog mentions nahcos more than this one. Not a chance. My challenge is to find one that does. It'll be harder than proving Fermat's Last Theorem. Speaking of, I thought I figured it out at work, given all my free time. 1782^12 + 1841^12 = 1922^12. Eh, close enough.
Make sure to check out the Hurricane Katrina FAQs.
The President of ASPCA, Ed Sayres, addresses rumors regarding animal treatment in New Orleans:
The ASPCA has been on-site in the New Orleans area since Monday, August 29, working as part of a coalition of animal welfare agencies to conduct animal rescues, treat and shelter thousands of pets lost and abandoned in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. We are privileged to be able to help the animals in this disaster, and will do so until the last one is safe.
The conditions in the disaster zone are unbelievably difficult, and rescuers are working around the clock to do everything possible for both human and animal victims. Toward this end, the ASPCA is doing its best to focus, keep calm and stay true to our mission: Save Animals. Unfortunately, the tragedy doesn't end with an animal's rescue. Designated facilities (the Lamar-Dixon Exposition Center and Louisiana State University) are over capacity, and the spread of disease is rapidly becoming an issue not only for those animals not yet found, but for those already in overcrowded facilities.
Yes, some of the unfortunate stories you are hearing are true. There are confirmed reports of animals being shot in local parishes. From what we have been able to determine, there are genuine issues of public safety. There are concerns about protecting the integrity of human remains. And there has been a loss of command and control in some of the areas where law enforcement officials do not understand how to handle free-roaming dogs. To make matters worse, vandals and looters with firearms are a threat. On behalf of concerned citizens, ASPCA Public Information coordinator Luiza Grunebaum contacted the office of Louisiana Governor Kathleen Blanco to inquire about the dog shootings that took place in St. Bernard's Parish. According to a governor's aide, the shootings occurred under the orders of Sgt. Mike Minton, the sheriff, who "took this upon himself." Grunebaum was told the shootings have ceased, and Sgt. Minton faces disciplinary charges as a result of his directive.
Along with numerous other humane groups, we are doing everything we can to get as many animals out as possible. We understand how frustrating it can be to hear radio and television reports and feel helpless. We also know how much you care about the animals--we do, too.
We are working with state, local and federal officials to keep order and make sure the animal rescue effort is successful and keeps moving forward. The scale and type of this disaster has never before been experienced. Fortunately, heroes are emerging every day.
We continue to work 24/7 to save as many animals as possible in the region, and ultimately hope to reunite as many as possible with their owners.
We are grateful for the continued outpouring of support for our animal rescue efforts and for the concern for ASPCA staff members, who are conducting water rescues and regularly find themselves in very precarious positions. Our ground crew is providing daily updates on our website, http://www.aspca.org/, which also contains more information about our hurricane relief efforts.
In New Orleans and across the country, the ASPCA and its dedicated employees are working tirelessly to ensure that each and every animal affected by Hurricane Katrina is cared for. Thanks again for your support.
Edwin J. SayresASPCA President & CEO
Thursday, September 15, 2005
Search Google for "failure". The results might not surprise you.
Is this guy a good football player? Yeeeeaaaaah!
Cousin Kevin has made a rare, yet much appreciated email appearance. He sends Coincidence or Conspiracy?
In case you missed it in yesterday's comments, Cousin Jeff sends an NFL time waster. I'm not gonna read it yet, lest I be bored at work again tomorrow.
Ok, work story du jour. Day four in the office. Some guy swings by to let me know that he has a phone for me. (Eh, only 4 days until I get a phone - not too bad). After some confusion over my new phone number, he asks if I know how to set up voicemail. I said yes and showed him that I already have the memo. He continues to explain it to me anyways. He tells me that the default password is "1 2 3 4 5". To which I responded, "1 2 3 4 5? That's amazing! I've got the same combination on my luggage!" Neither he or the admin standing with him found any humor in what I said, and both seemed a little annoyed.
Google Nicki IMed me soon after the sneeze incident this morning to show me Google's Blog Search. She made sure to link me to a search on "nachos", which, ironically, contains none of my blog entries. Thanks Nicki - way to build up a guy's confidence. You work for Google - Can't you fix it? If you search on "Nachos Rule", The Nacho Expert shows up 1st. Followed by a bunch of other blogs... that aren't this blog....
Ok, a new game - Eat the Pie. I did it in 16 bites. I guess 15 is possible. Good luck.
Webshots... Search on "wasted". 281,437 results. Gotta love the youth of America.
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
Screw 4 blades. The competition can keep that. The Gillette 5 blade razor is coming out in 2006. Again, sadly, there is no punchline.
What if "The Big One" hit Los Angeles?
It's been a while since I've posted The Sports Guy's inbox. It's a great way to kill time at work. I copied it and pasted it into a Word Document, so it looked like I was actually busy. Which I wasn't - They said I won't have email or access to anything for another week or two. Man, my new job rules. The unintentional comedy moment of the day was some guy going ballistic over the soap dispenser in the bathroom. He couldn't get the no-touch dispenser to work and he went off, "Fucking piece of shit! Mother Fucker!". Hey for a lame day in a lame office, you've gotta appreciate those kind of outbursts.
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
Another game I suck at.
Thanks to everyone who has heard me complain about my new job. It rules as much as, whatever the opposite of nachos would be. My favorite part of the day is the mens room. Not only do they play classical music (I'll forever think of dropping a deuce when I hear Vivaldi now), but the toilet paper is the brown, industrial grade, hand paper towel texture. Hurts like hell. The best part is that the sinks are on the right and on the left.... start using your imagination here.... From near to far.... Urinal, urinal, stall, stall, urinal, disabled stall (with a big sign letting us know to not use that stall if you aren't disabled). So, if you're gonna take a dump, it's the in the middle of the urinals. Or if you're the 3rd person to take a leak, you're between dumpers. It just doesn't seem right. The point of all of this is.... I found a solution to my work situation.
I was watching South Park and the episode was about NAMBLA. UHHHH. From their website:
"The North American Man/Boy Love Association (NAMBLA) was formed in 1978. It was inspired by the success of a campaign based in Boston's gay community to defend against a local witchhunt.
NAMBLA's goal is to end the extreme oppression of men and boys in mutually consensual relationships by:
- building understanding and support for such relationships
- educating the general public on the benevolent nature of man/boy love;
- cooperating with lesbian, gay, feminist, and other liberation movements;
- supporting the liberation of persons of all ages from sexual prejudice and oppression.
Our membership is open to everyone sympathetic to man/boy love and personal freedom."
Monday, September 12, 2005
Csonka csaved from csinking cship in Bering Csea.
The Telecrapper. It's not what it sounds like. Yet it still rules. Thanks Mike. Here's how it works.
Sunday, September 11, 2005
The latest in Chupacabra news comes from Mexican President Vicente Fox.
Check out this great ping pong rally.
This is like Jackass on the internet. Another dare done by MakeMeKing.com. Don't watch if you're not into watching stupid people doing stupid things.
Just when I try to regain faith in the goodness of humanity, I read an article like this.
Now THIS is the best name I've ever seen.
I know I posted this a long time ago. But it's still a fun game - Weezer Jam. It's like Dance Revolution for your fingers.
Friday, September 09, 2005
Mahoney and Hightower are back - In Police Academy 8. Sweet.
"It makes no sense to spend billions of dollars to rebuild a city that's seven feet under sea level....It looks like a lot of that place could be bulldozed."House Speaker Dennis Hastert (R-Ill.), Aug. 31, 2005
"Considering the dire circumstances that we have in New Orleans, virtually a city that has been destroyed, things are going relatively well." —FEMA Director Michael Brown, Sept. 1, 2005
Thursday, September 08, 2005
The legendary Chupacabra has been shot and killed. Or so says a Texas man.
33% of steroids busts in baseball have come from the Seattle Mariners. Still doesn't explain why they suck.
The Sports Guy writes about the upcoming NFL season. His sleeper team.... Da Bears.
The Ultimate Fan is continuing to improve his website. Definitely check it out.
My new favorite insult word.
In a case of gas gouging, Jess Whitlock charged $7 a gallon for gas. To punish this crime, the state of Tennessee is cracking down and potentially fining him... get this.... $1,000. Sweet Jesus. How will he manage?
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
One more day until I post the answer to the A.C. Slater trivia question from the other day.
As if you needed another reason not to live in New Jersey.
Here's a game I'm not very good at.
And here's a game that everyone will be good at. Make your own punk rock song.
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
My dad sends a clip of Keith Olberman speaking about Hurricane Katrina.
Old and busted: Flying Spaghetti Monster articles.
New Hotness: Flying Spaghetti Monster games. Object of the game - convert the people to Pastafarians.
White Sox fans... Let's all sigh together... Phew.
Here's the self-proclaimed Amazing Hypnotist.
Baseball's most overrated players.
Baseball's most underrated players.
Everywhere I go, something reminds me of her. My family was in town visiting this weekend and we saw those buildings off of I-5 on the way to San Diego. It was by far the highlight of their trip.
Sunday, September 04, 2005
Mike sends a link for all of you online poker players. The link is to a study that is looking for commonalities in the play of top poker players. You can participate in the study if you so choose.
Saturday, September 03, 2005
Speaking of information, you can find EVERYTHING on Wikipedia. Including a List of Films ordered by uses of the word "fuck". There are some pretty good movies on that list.
I bet this guy ruled at Duck Hunt. He was probably pretty good at Hogan's Alley, too.
Friday, September 02, 2005
Him: "So, are you celebrating today?"
Me: "Of course. Would you expect any less from me?"
Him: "Do you have any idea what I'm talking about?"
Me: "After all the time she and I have spent together?"
Me: "In my dreams."
My favorite Salma quote - "I keep waiting to meet a man who has more balls than I do."
To which I respond - "I keep waiting for Salma to see the size of my balls."
Cousin Jeff sends an interview with poker player, Mike "The Mouth" Matusow. He warns that, although there aren't any big spoilers, they talk about the 2005 WSOP. Cousin Jeff puts it best - "Mike Matusow is insane".
Thursday, September 01, 2005
My folks are visiting for the weekend, so I may be short on facts until next week.
On a personal note, I think I quite possibly had the worst possible fantasy football draft ever.
Pop quiz hotshot. You should go see the White Sox play on Friday night because....
A) They face a young and talented Tigers team.
B) They're the good team in Chicago.
C) It's Mullet Night
Alright 2 games - One's hard. The other one is damn near impossible.
1) Get the people across the river. Click the blue circle to start. The instructions are in a language I don't speak, but the animation will allow you to get the hang of the rules :)
2) Find the 4 leaf clover.
What is a ho? (If you're a long time reader of this blog, yes, I have posted this before).
It's the silly penguin again. (Dude, I have no idea how I came across so many foreign language links today).
My grandma emailed me these really neat-o pavement drawings. Check out the 3-D ones toward the bottom.
Christian schools have sued the University of California. From the article:
"University of California admissions officials have been accused in a federal civil rights lawsuit of discriminating against high schools that teach creationism and other conservative Christian viewpoints." I'm way too tired post any editorial or to think of anything witty to write.