Sunday, July 31, 2005

7/31/05 Taxation Without Representation

They call me the taxman.

Nice ring! Where'd ya get it?

Saturday, July 30, 2005

7/30/05 Breakups

Breakups happen. They're usually very difficult for those involved. Which is why I'm offering my full support to Brooke Burke in her time of need. Whatever you need, baby - I'm here for you.

Another flash game - Catch 33. I've tried it a few times and got 38 seconds. Which isn't real impressive, I know.

On the list of things NOT to do if you're ever in jail - this is on top of the list.

Here are some more fun T-Shirts. My favorite is probably "You have died of dysentery". Or "Your retarded".

Friday, July 29, 2005

7/29/05 Boulevard of Broken Songs

Every year or so I post something about songs that sound a little too much alike. Did Green Day rip off Oasis? Either way, the video is well edited.

Not only is Finland home to the Air Guitar World Championships. But they also host the Wife Carrying World Championships.

Here's another article about future Hall of Famers. ESPN lists their top 20 present day players, in order, that will make the hall. Roger Clemens, Barry Bonds and Greg Maddux top the list. They then list their "On the bubble" next 20 players. There are definitely some young, questionable choices in there, but overall, a very well written article.

I've been tossing around ideas for a vanity license plate lately. But it's tough to come up with anything I'd be willing to accept everyday. If you have any suggestions, I'm very open. Probably the funniest one my brother and I came up with was "HAIR 314". Ok, I thought it was funny. And it's available too. Don't think it would get through the censors? "GAYSROK" is ok in Utah.

Thursday, July 28, 2005

7/28/05 Chichen Itza

I met a guy today who is an archaeologist. But unlike most archaeologists who focus on the what they see, this guy focuses on sound. Since I had been to Chichen Itza in Mexico, he began to tell me a little bit about the acoustics at that site. First, he began to talk about the Ball Court. You know, the court where they would play some basketball like game but without using their hands or arms. Hundreds of feet away, priests could hide and speak near the temples and their voices can be heard on the ball court. The guy I met claims that the priests would use this echo chamber to mimic the voices of the gods so that the players felt like the gods were speaking to them as they were playing. In 1931, many hundreds of years after these temples were built, the acoustics of Maya were studied for the construction or new concert halls.

The second thing he talked about was the acoustics of a clap. Not "the clap". If you stand a couple hundred feet away from the front of the pyramid and clap the echo bounces off of the stairs and sounds like a "whoop" that starts at a high pitch and the pitch then lowers. According to this guy, that is the same sound made by the Quetzal Bird. The Quetzal bird was holy to the Maya and signified creation - You may be familiar with their god Queztalcoatl from some history class you once took. Again, this guy claims that the temples and pyramids housed the gods and the stairs were specifically constructed to make this sound so that the priests could make it appear as though the gods were responded to their requests. It's a common question when visiting these pyramids why the stairs are so narrow. Basically half of my foot fit on the step so it's scary coming down. The answer is usually "They were tiny people". And my next question was, "Well then, why are the stairs so friggin' steep if they were so tiny?" To that there's never a good answer. Until now. The steep steps were necessary for the Quetzal echo.

I tried to make that story as short as possible - Hopefully I'm not the only one that's amazed by the accomplishments of the Mayan civilization that occurred hundreds of years before European civilizations.

Da Bears - We seem to still be living in 1985 when it comes to football. Some dude decided to make a giant corn maze glorifying the 20 year anniversary of the Bears Superbowl.

In case you didn't read Cousin Dave's comment yesterday, check out Cereality.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

7/27/05 Dr. Phil

Dr. Phil was recently a guest on Larry King Live. Quality programming.

I spent more than a couple of minutes playing Bouncy the Ball. So it earns a spot on my blog.

The internet has become a massive collection of information. Once in a while I think about all of the questions I used to have growing up and how I had to go to the library to find the answers. Many times, the answers I was looking for didn't even exist in a library. Personally, this wealth of information that has only really been available for the last decade is a real treat. When I was a kid, I used to look for lyrics to songs, sports statistics, historical information, rules to games, musical lessons, and on and on. Well, in the tradition of the wonders of the internet and all-important information, I found A Guide to Cereals of the 80s.

I was wondering a few weeks ago if it's possible to have a private poker room for a friendly game. On PartyPoker you can set up your own private room. So, for anyone interested, we can play if you sign up.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

7/26/05 The Dan Band

I'll admit it. I didn't get out of my apartment until about 1:00 today. And even when I did, it was only to do laundry. But due to my laziness, I caught the greatest show on TV. I was watching Bravo (don't make fun - celebrity poker was on) and immediately after, The Dan Band came on. The Dan Band is made up of 3 dudes who do covers of songs sung by women. Check out their new CD - It has an ABBA medley, Total Eclipse of the Heart, Flashdance/Fame, and best of all, Milkshake. In case you're wondering what to get my for my birthday - this is it.

Eight-Year olds, Dude.

Google Nicki sends another useful website - It's called You know when you want to read an article and you have to register for the website first? Well, not anymore. Just type in the website into Bug Me Not and they'll give you a valid username and password.

Kickball is making a comeback! I wonder if you can still throw the ball at the runner. That was my favorite rule.

I was reminded of a Kurt Vonnegut short story today called "Harrison Bergeron". That's it - I think I read it last in 6th grade or something. It's a pretty neat story.

Here's an interesting article - Why you get stuck for hours at O'Hare. Their conclusion may surprise you.

Sticking with the Chicago theme - There is a proposed skyscraper that would be the world's tallest.

SI lists 20 borderline Baseball Hall of Famers along with their predictions. has also surpassed 20,000 pageviews this year. That's way ahead of last year's pace of 27,000! Thanks for the continued support! On a sorta related note, yesterday I checked the NachosRule merchandise sold and some people I don't know actually purchased some stuff... Somebody actually bought the thong. Her man is one lucky, lucky fella. I'm very jealous.

Monday, July 25, 2005

7/25/05 The Dumbest Rules in Sports

Cousin Eric sends The Dumbest Rules in Sports.
  • "Why do 20-second timeouts last a minute or more?"
  • Second Serves in Tennis - "Oops, sorry. I fully intended to put that one over the net and into the box. How about a do-over?"
  • "The nearest offensive player getting credit when a defender tips in a shot. Uh-uh. Basketball should track own goals, like soccer. What fan wouldn't want to know who leads the league in own goals at the end of each season? Over the last eight years, for instance, we have a sneaking suspicion it would have been Shawn Bradley. But there's only one way to make sure."
  • "The Ground Can't Cause a Fumble in Football - Bull! Did the guy hold onto the ball or not?"

In a sign of my rampant unemployment, I found pictures of toilets in video games. In another sign that I come from a family of losers, my brother asked about toilets in three separate video games. They were all on the webpage.

Hexxagon - it's a game like Othello. It's different in that it's a hexagon instead of a square. It's the same in that I suck at it.

NASA to proceed with shuttle launch, plans to put piece of electrical tape over flashing light indicator.

40 things that only happen in movies.

Sunday, July 24, 2005

7/24/05 Hog Wrestling

Cousin Danny told me that our next family outing should be here. He says that Hog Wrestling is a lot of fun to watch. From the pictures on the website, he appears to be very correct.

I grew up hearing about disgruntled postal workers. Come to think of it, the only time I heard the word "disgruntled" happened to be when a postal worker brought a gun into the post office and shot a bunch of his coworkers. So, to be honest, I don't really know what disgruntled really means, except that it has something to do with being really pissed off. In recent years, however, you haven't heard about any crazy postal workers. Today, I figured out why. They've developed a sense of humor. The USPS offers up shipping instructions for a hippo.

If you've ever wanted to read a high brow, educational view on the Evolution of Profanity, well, here it is.

Alright - Has anybody else seen the videos of "The Tourettes Guy" on the internet? It is really unusual and I'm not sure if it's supposed to be funny. But the guy has some random outbursts and they've made a soundboard of his outbursts.

Saturday, July 23, 2005

7/23/05 Paul Reubens Day

Today is Paul Reubens Day. Who knew? If I lived in San Francisco, I'd dress up as Konkie.

Dumb: Soliciting sex from a prostitute.
Dumber: You’re a cop.
Dumbest: So is she.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

7/21/05 Order of Succession

I remember learning in US History that there is an order of succession should the President (God forbid. God forbid.) die. And in an attempt to make us feel intelligent, we all knew that after the Vice President, the Speaker of the House is next in line. Well, after the first 18, there is some confusion as to who would be next. Well, let the confusion end. The website above allows you to add your name to the list.

Google Map of a military base at Coronado, CA - Uhhh. (If nothing sticks out at first, hit refresh. Something goofy is going on with this map.)

Star Trek's Scotty died. He gave it all he could, captain.


This will keep you busy for a few seconds. Or if you're stoned, most likely longer.

Grandpa Fight!

Great T-Shirts.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

7/20/05 Rules are Rules

Cousin Eric sends the official rules for NCAA Football. He tells me that on page 133, you'll find that in 1911, it was made illegal to conceal the ball under your jersey.

A week or so ago, Cousin Eric, Cousin Danny, Brother Gary, Sister-In-Law Christy and I were watching Major League. In the final 10 minutes of the movie, we somehow were able to unknowingly criticize at least half a dozen inconsistencies in the film. My favorite was the fat guy running out of the stands and onto the field and then doing it again 10 seconds later. There's a reason for this story - hang tight. Remember when Pedro Cerrano hits a big homerun towards the end of the final game? And he carries the bat around the bases? Well, Cousin Eric looked up the rules for Major League Baseball too. Turns out, it's perfectly legal to carry the bat with you.

From Football to Baseball and now to T-Ball... Psycho little league coach has gone to the next level. Sad.

From Mike - The Turbo Tap. Just in case you weren't drinking enough beer already. (Note of clarification: "You" refers to the reader, not "you", Mike.)

You know that annoying frog "ring ding ding" ringtone? I present the Ring Ding Ding video.

7/19/05 Jacked

My computer has been jacked up, hence no post for 7/19. Although, if memory serves me correctly, the 2005 World Series of Poker begins to air today.

Send in more facts - I've been running a little short lately....

More tomorrow....

Monday, July 18, 2005

7/18/05 High School Talent Show

A very impressive High School Talent Show.

How to build a time machine. For real.

I was struggling with facts today when my mom IMed me. I told her I couldn't think of anything else to write about. So she sent me an article about silver dining service found at Pompeii. I guess some dude tried to save (or steal?) a bunch of silver while running from a volcano 2000 years ago. And they say you can't take it with you.

Sunday, July 17, 2005

7/17/05 Herodotus

I was reading Blender Magazine on the can today. They have an article about the history of drugs, mainly focusing on artists like The Beatles and Janis Joplin and all of the other famous drug users in the rock world. But I was a bit surprised to read about Greek historian, Herodotus, writing about the use of hemp in ancient times to "induce insensibility".

I was also reminded of one of my favorite stories of all time - Doc Ellis' no hitter in 1970 for the Pittsburgh Pirates. From the article - "I was in Los Angeles, and the team was playing in San Diego , but I didn't know it. I had taken LSD..... I thought it was an off-day, that's how come I had it in me. I took the LSD at noon. At 1pm, his girlfriend and trip partner looked at the paper and said, "Dock, you're pitching today!" I remember once reading that the ball told him what pitches to throw.

Keeping with the psychedelic theme, here are some trippy visual effects.

Forgotten pictures of popular people.

Does Intelligence = Happiness?

Saturday, July 16, 2005

7/16/05 Tonya Harding

These people really like Tonya Harding.

I finally figured out what I want for my birthday.

Sometimes I pretend to know what I'm talking about when it comes to baseball. I really don't. Just about everything I say is something I read online. I'm going to reveal my online source for baseball rumors - Pro Sports Daily. All sorts of rumors are swirling about the White Sox trading for Jason Schmidt or AJ Burnett. I'd be thrilled to see either one of them on the South Side, donning black pinstripes.

Friday, July 15, 2005

7/15/05 Cheer Up Charlie

Do you ever sit up at night and wonder what happened to Charlie Bucket? Neither do I.

Remember the dude who jammed out the Super Mario Brothers theme on guitar? Now there's Piano Zelda guy. Copy and paste this link if the other one doesn't work -

Thursday, July 14, 2005

7/14/05 She's Gone From Suck to Blow

I was out driving today when I saw a car with an advertisement to call Mega Maids. And despite their Eastern European swimmer looking caricature, every one of their employees looks Hispanic.

Today's nerd article has to do with the formation of language. A computer simulation generates a virtual culture and gives a glimpse into how societies evolve.

Vegas-like odds for the new Charlie and the Chocolate factory. Odds that "The film will feature hot Oompa-Loompa-on-Oompa-Loompa action: 47-1".

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

7/13/05 Empire of Dreams

I woke up this morning and for some reason turned on A&E. They had a 2 hour show called Star Wars: Empire of Dreams on. It was a documentary on the making of Star Wars. Good stuff.

In the news today - Sprint, Nextel one step closer to creating world's suckiest phone company.

Center stage of a divorce - An online game account.

Here's some article on how your mind perceives time.

I sucked at writing in high school. If you want to be technical about it, I've sucked at writing my whole life. But high school comes to mind when you mention analogies. I was about as bad at writing analogies as the bubonic plague was for the people or Europe. (Didja catch the lame irony there?). Anyways I'm proving my point about sucky writing right now. Ok, here's a page of horrible analogies. (Click cancel if you get a pop up box).

7/12/05 Why does Michael Bay get to keep on making movies?

Michael Bay (of Pearl Harbor infamy) is directing a new movie called "The Island" starring Scarlett Johansson and Ewan McGregor. They were filming a scene where Johansson was getting down to her skivies. Here's what he had to say -

"She's standing there and she says, 'I'm not wearing this cheap ... bra. I'm going naked,"' Bay said.
"I said, 'It's PG-13, you have to wear the bra,"' he said.

Damn you Michael Bay. Damn you.

Speaking of nudity, Google Nicki got excited about this article.

Having solved the world's poverty, hunger and crime, Pope Benedict lets the world know that he disapproves of the Harry Potter novels. Apparently the kids are getting too old for his liking.

My dad sent this article about a mother arrested for driving with her kids in the trunk. I think he sent it cuz they did that to me on at least one occasion. But I was 24 when it happened, so I take full responsibility and will not press charges.

Here's the greatest airline complaint letter I've ever read.

A cool magic trick. (Kinda gross)

Well, I knew that once I had a free day I'd be back and posting. I'm back baby! I'm back!

Monday, July 11, 2005

7/11/05 Stonehenge

In my first non-poker related post in 3 days - Some dude claims to have the answers regarding Stonehenge.

That's it - I spent the majority of my day flying back to California. So, in case you were wondering - I'm home safe...

Sunday, July 10, 2005

7/10/05 The World Series of Poker

Keep up to speed with the goings on of the World Series of Poker. I think I saw on TV that it'll air on July 19th. So, if you don't want to ruin the ending, then you probably don't want to read that link.

Here's an article from Sports Illustrated about the World Series of Poker. Yes, I'm now officially obsessed with poker. I need help.

Saturday, July 09, 2005

7/9/05 All In

Doyle Brunson has bid $700 million for the World Poker Tour.

My dad sends a couple of links today. Which is funny, since I'm staying at my parents' house this week. Nevertheless, he emailed me some links. The first link is war commentary saying that the US war with Iran has already begun. And on a lighter note, he sent me an error message generator.

Friday, July 08, 2005

7/8/05 The iPod Flea

Google Nicki sends an ad for the iPod Flea.

She also sends an article about eyelashes.

Our good friend Josh from Bellevue, Washington writes about Nacho Etiquette. Well written, my friend. Well written.

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

7/6/05 Let Me Tell You Why I Suck

I suck cuz I haven't been posting everyday lately. Since I've been back in Chicago, I've been busy-like and stuff. For the couple dozen people who read these posts on a semi-regular basis, my apologies.

In a complete change of policy, AOL is being cool for a change - and they're posting videos of the Live 8 concerts.

Now that the voting for Scott Podsednik (congratulations, by the way) is over, you can turn your attention to the 2005 World Stupidity Awards.

On a Scott Podsednik related note, I went to my first game at Comisky this season tonight. First off, I had the best seat I've ever had at a baseball game. I was 3 rows behind Mayor Daley. And about 20 feet from Ozzie in the dugout. Ronnie Woo Woo showed up and got escorted out of the stadium. It ruled. They're now 31 games over .500 and seem to be just cruising in terms of team chemistry. This is truly a fun season to be a White Sox fan.

Finally, 125 questions scientists have failed to completely fathom.

Monday, July 04, 2005

7/4/05 Air Guitar World Championships

Most of you who know me know that I occasionally get involved with some unorthodox events. Rock Paper Scissors would be a good example. Well, I decided yesterday that I am going to the Air Guitar World Championships. In Finland. Bike Helmet Lauren said that if I participate, she'd go cheer me on. Well, Lauren, it's 75 Euros to enter. If I'm gonna spend the money to get to Finland, I'm participating. I'll see you there. August 24th.

Sunday, July 03, 2005

7/3/05 I's a tipe Inglesh gud

Pur riting causts takspayers $260...#244...$236...lotsa muney eech yeer

Oops of the day - Man thinks he clicked on a $10 online poker tournament. Ends up in a $100 satellite qualifier for the World Series of Poker. Oops again - He qualifies for the $10,000 tournament.

Whoa... ROCK! All Metallica, all the time.

Saturday, July 02, 2005

7/2/05 Bridges

All I've got today is a game called Bridges.

And that the White Sox are an unbelievable 54-25 this season. They're on pace to win 111 games. 111 games?! That's a whole lot of games. That's like one more game than 110 games.

7/1/05 Happy Canada Day

Happy July everybody... And to me, a happy unemploy... er, retirement. Yup, chicks dig it when I tell them I'm retired. They're not so impressed when I tell them I'm out of work. So if anybody asks, I'm retired.

On a usual, bored day at work, I decided to learn music theory. I came across I got lost within a half hour, but it's chock-full of good information and examples, both visual and audio.

Six Flags and the KKK.

Super Trippy Illusion. I started getting ill and couldn't make it through the whole thing.