Tuesday, November 30, 2004

11/30/04 Down goes Jennings! Down goes Jennings!

Ken Jennings' unprecedented run of 74 Jeopardy victories has come to an end. Most people I talk to call him a dork. But he's a rich dork, winning over $2,500,000. And they're just jealous. Good job Ken.

For techie people, this movie for the SCSI IPod might be funny.

Oh my dear lord - This could be perhaps the dumbest idea ever.

I'm not really sure how to describe this. Not that it's hard to explain, but rather, it's hard to post for various reasons. Do you want to know how much money you've spent on booze, cigarettes and drugs this year? Try this calculator.

Monday, November 29, 2004

11/29/04 Know what? YOU suck!

Yale pulled one of the greatest pranks I've ever seen.

The 12 days of Christmas will now cost you $66,334. You wanna know what my true love gave to me? Oh, that's right. I'm single.

The good news item of the day is that scientists have discovered something about the universe. I'd tell you what it is, but I had an aneurysm after reading the first paragraph.

And for those who were part of the "When did California become a state?" conversation. The answer is September 9th, 1850. This was before 19 other states, which makes me wonder how people got from the mainland of 30 states to the newly admitted 31st state, a thousand miles away.

Sunday, November 28, 2004

11/28/04 Only 4 weeks 'til Christmas

Target's doing a great job of luring people to their website. More holiday gifts ideas for certain members of your family.

I guess I missed this ESPN Commercial with some of the Star Wars characters. My brother says there's one with Darth Vader and Heidi Klum. But I haven't found it yet.

For some reason, I've been on a mission to find video footage of the 1992 Vice Presidential debate with Ross Perot's running mate, Admiral Stockdale. He's the guy who walked around aimlessly when it wasn't his turn to talk and began his first answer, "Who am I? Why am I here?". And let's not forget the quote of the night, "You know, I didn't have my hearing aid turned on. Tell me again." The link on PBS's Website seems to be outsdated. The best I could find is the transcript. Any help here?

Saturday, November 27, 2004

11/27/04 Holidays with the Family

Think you had a tough time with the in-laws this Thanksgiving? This family had it a little worse.

Think you're smart? Try this 3rd grade geography test.

Think you're really smart? Try stumping a computer in a game of 20 questions.

Ok, think you're dumb? At least you're not the dad who set this up for his kids.

Let's end on a positive note. Click here - Feel good about yourself.

Friday, November 26, 2004

11/26/04 EBay

One cost conscious shopper bought a $125 Wal Mart gift card on EBay - For $127.51.

The kids who sang on Pink Floyd's "The Wall" are suing for royalites. In other news, you still can't have your pudding if you don't eat your meat.

Thursday, November 25, 2004

11/25/04 Happy Thanksgiving

Here's the original Thanksgiving Proclamation by George Washington.

This is a great opportunity for all readers of NachosRule.com to post what you are thankful for. I'll go first...

Things I'm thankful for:

I'm thankful for nachos. The dripping, cheesy wonder that the Lord above has bestowed upon us is enough evidence for me that God is loving and merciful.

From Sports Illustrated - "I'm thankful Ron Artest won't be sharing a Thanksgiving meal with me and my family. Imagine what would happen if he asked for a dinner roll, and someone tossed one in his direction."

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

11/24/04 Green Poop

A few people may know my green poop story. Once when I was in Vegas, I signed up for a credit card. And instead of the normal T-Shirt or hat, they offered up a six-pack of Romulan Ale. They hounded me for months afterwards, looking for "more accurate" information, which I, uh, seemed to have forgotten at the time.

But I'll tell you something - I had only 1 of those beers, and my next poop looked like the nuclear fuel rod that gets caught in Homer's shirt during the Simpsons' Intro. Bright glowing green. I repeated the experiment 5 more times (at which point my six pack was gone) with 2 new people. The results were the same. Bright, nuclear fuel rod green poops. We took each others' word for it, of course. The reason I'm recalling this unpleasant story is that the same experiment has been done with Mountain Dew Pitch Black.

You too can participate in the study:

1) Drink two 20-ounce bottles of Mountain Dew Pitch Black over the course of the day.
2) Then, watch your poop.Was your poop green? If so email your findings to helloimslinky@gmail.com

And for my non-poop/anal related story of the day... A very insightful, Stanley Kubrick like, internet movie that Nicki sent. What is Epic?

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

11/23/04 Stop the Madness

Ok, one last gift idea from Target. And to Michael, who is looking for something that isn't anally related, sorry man. I'll work on broadening my gift ideas after Thanksgiving.

I guess this little movie could be a gift idea. Check out this clever ad for XBox.

I've been thinking real hard about this. And I can't think of anyone that likes either Rammstein or ASCII animation. But, if you do, here's a clip for you.

Finally, like the rejection hotline, but for AIM.

Monday, November 22, 2004

11/22/04 Turkeys

ESPN presents Sports Turkeys of 2004.

My favorite quote is from Latrell Sprewell after being insulted by the T-Wolves 3-year, $21 million offer. "I have a lot of risk here," he said. "I got my family to feed. Anything could happen."

More gifts for the holidays from Target. This one is for the do-it-yourself-ers.

And if you're into a cabaret, Target has that too.

Sunday, November 21, 2004

11/21/04 Stealing

From MSN - "How to Steal Wi-Fi and how to keep the neighbors from stealing yours".

Remember the $300 tax cut check we got a couple of years back? Kuwaitis are getting $680 each thanks to high oil prices. And I don't know for sure, but I think $680 goes a lot farther in Kuwait than it does here.

Saturday, November 20, 2004

11/20/04 Making his list, Checking it twice

Since holiday shopping has now become a severe pain in the ass for most people, I will now make holiday shopping a little easier. Starting today, I will be posting gift ideas on my blog. My first suggestion goes for $36 at Target.

According to NBA rules, any player leaving the bench during a fight gets a minimum 1 game suspension. The Pistons next game will be interesting with only Tayshaun Prince taking the floor.

For whoever doesn't like reading political messages on this site, feel free to call it a day. For the rest, I came across a pretty neat flash file about the 2000 election. Whether it's true or not, who knows... But still, pretty interesting stuff.

Friday, November 19, 2004

11/19/04 Bad Boys

If you haven't seen footage of the fight in Detroit tonight, it's worth a look-see. It is probably the sorriest moment in NBA history - As if they weren't having an image probably already.

In honor of Mike Okhurtz, Craven Moorhead, and Jack Mehoff, there's now a website with them all - FunnyNames.com

Children who learn Mandarin Chinese are more likely to be musically inclined.

Finally, one guy put together the 10 best Strongbad emails. Check 'em out - they're pretty good.

Thursday, November 18, 2004

11/18/04 Coolest thing ever

This is probably the first time I have had two posts in one day. But I have stumbled across what could possibly be the neatest thing I've seen in a long time. Google.com just bought Keyhole.com. You can download a free 7-day trial of Keyhole.

When you use Keyhole, it is like you're the good lord above and can zoom in on any address in the world. Well, not any address, but most major cities are covered. And you can zoom in to about the point where you can tell if your car is in the driveway or not. Then when you enter a new address, you're on some sort of magic carpet that brings you to your next destination. I can't figure out what's more amazing - This software or the fact that we still can't find Bin Laden despite military software that must be better than this.

On a personal, yet sort of related note, I interviewed with Google today. Wish me luck.

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

11/18/04 National Treasure

I was watching Mythbusters and they have an episode that was supposed to be based on the new movie, National Treasure. What I learned is the symbology of the Dollar Bill. Like the number 13 is all over the bill. And that I invented the word "symbology". And the reason the pyramid isn't capped is because we're not done building our nation.

And while I'm on the topic of movies, The DaVinci Code will be on the big screen next year. Tom Hanks is being cast to play the main character. I imagined more of a young Indiana Jones type guy. But I'm sure Forrest Gump will pull it off just fine.

It's a little late, but Odd Todd's Halloween Special is out.

I met a recruiter today and he started talking about how 2 days after the election, nobody really cared about politics anymore. Well, in honor of that dude, here's a guy who definitely has a strong opinion.

11/17/04 Oh Sylvia!!

If you grew up in the 80's and played Nintendo this might be sorta funny.

My brother and I were trying to figure out how healthy or unhealthy pizza is. And I stumbled across Calorie King in my search for Lou Malnati's Pizza. You can check over 40,000 foods and their nutritional content.

Last night I was talking with some people in the hot tub... Yes, I'm allowed to talk about spending time in a jacuzzi at 9:30 pm on a late November evening... And we started asking each other about earthquakes. Well, I found a map with recent California earthquakes. Yup, they happen all the time.

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

11/16/04 Eating Healthy

Thanks to Mike for sending an MSN article about the new burger from Hardee's. My roommates in college used to make Hardee's runs every so often. Their Frisco Burger has nothing on this new guy.

The annual Leonid Meteor Showers are now overhead. According to Space.com, the showers will best be seen tonight into Wednesday morning. To get the best view, you need to avoid city lights. And in North America, you're in luck if you live on the east coast. But even if you live further west, you can still see up to 20 to 40 meteors per hour.

Monday, November 15, 2004

11/15/04 Power to the People

I want to thank whoever posted the lastest comment on 11/13/04. This loyal reader has submitted some good links and it wouldn't be fair that they get overlooked. And even though we may disagree, it's a pleasure to see a new comment. Please, go ahead and post. And don't be shy - you don't have to remain anonymous.

At first I thought this article was about nacho eating ettiquette. As it turns out, it's not.

For baseball fans, ESPN has a handy free agent tracking tool. So far, two guys have signed, including Omar Vizquel. Once again, the White Sox are moving to Plan B. Don't be surprised to see them on Plan G by Thanksgiving.

Sunday, November 14, 2004

11/14/04 Maynard James Keenan

Just when I thought that Maynard James Keenan (Lead singer of Tool and A Perfect Circle) couldn't get any stranger, I found a video of his new song, a remake of John Lennon's "Imagine". Consider this fair warning - If you're not into political statements or awkward remakes of classisc songs, you probably should watch the video.

On a side note, I think the guy's a musical genius and would be most honored to meet him.

Saturday, November 13, 2004

11/13/04 "If we're evil, it's new to us"

If you hadn't noticed, I'm a fan of Jon Stewart and the Daily Show. Here's a good clip of him watching Bill O'Reilly interview the President.

In honor of Ol' Dirty Bastard's passing, I present hip hop artists' real names. Like Biz (Oh baby YOU.... You got what I neeee-eeeed) Markie is really Marcel Hall. Ice Cube is Oshea Jackson. And Sisqo (that thon-th-thong-thong-thong) is Mark Andrews.

Friday, November 12, 2004

11/12/04 Mensa

Average IQ by state. I don't make any claims as to whether this page is factual or a load of BS. Just interesting.

A big thanks to Kate for linking to NachosRule.com. I will continue to link back to as many referrers as I know are linking to us.

Some pretty good nutty Japanese art.

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

11/11/04 Mmmm... Beer

Like the Subserviant Chicken, only cuter and less creepy. Go ahead - Be creative. She does much more than serve beer. Post your favorite commands here. So far, my favorite one is "hummer".

Ever wonder what Michael Jackson would look like without surgery? Me neither.

11/10/04 Oh Wow! A police chase!

I just got my cable installed and the first thing that comes on TV is a police chase. You know the kind I'm talking about. The kind you see on those crappy Fox shows that always seem to happen in California. I forgot to add police chases on the news as one of the reasons to move to Southern California. Which has been quickly countered by seeing the Lakers on channel 9.

The just caught the chick. And they sent a dog into the car and it just brought something back. And I guess I just missed the Simpsons to watch the chase for 40 minutes.

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

11/9/04 Number 54

Brian Urlacher is the man. It's about time Chicago had an athlete to look up to.

Otherwise, Chicago sports is the pits. Which is why my post ends here.

Monday, November 08, 2004

11/8/04 Trip Recap

Now that I'm a little settled and a little more awake I remembered a few more things that I saw along the way.

Probably the coolest thing I did was get my fortune read by Zoltar. My fortune reads "So the devil has been hounding you, and given you restless days and sleepless nights? Well, as this will soon be a thing of the past. A new turn of events will soon come about. A happy reunion with a loved one will make life all that you ever wanted it or dreamed it to be." A reunion with a loved one in California ought to be interesting. Zoltar also told me to come back.

I also passed Zzyzx Road on I-15. I just thought that was a fun name.

Oh, and newest on my shitlist - Adelphia cable. They were supposed to install cable yesterday between 1 and 3 pm. So I sat around from 1 until 4. The lady I set the appointment up with didn't answer her phone, didn't return any calls and didn't answer the pages. So, if everyone who has a cell phone or cheap long distance will do me a favor and call Veronica Charley at 949-400-5969 and see what's up with my cable, we can probably get this set up :) If she doesn't answer, you can also page her at 877-710-7451. Thanks a ton.

Sunday, November 07, 2004

11/7/04 "Made up my mind to make a new start...

... Going to California with an achin' in my heart" - Led Zeppelin

Well. my friends, 2100 miles and 36 hours in the car later, I've made it. It's been a relatively peaceful drive. The weather held out pretty nicely. I couldn't have asked for a smoother journey.

But I've gotta ask - Does every friggin' person in Los Angeles go to Vegas on the weekend? What was with the traffic between Vegas and LA??? The freeway was packed for 280 miles. Is there really nothing better to do on the weekends?

I'm pretty tired and am hard pressed to write anything remotely interesting or funny. But come visit if you can. You can have my bed. This couch I'm sitting on is awfully comfortable and I'll gladly give up my bed for some good company. And thanks to whoever's internet I'm stealing right now. I love wireless.

Saturday, November 06, 2004

11/6/04 Vegas Baby

A big, big thank you to Norma and Pinche Edgar for putting me up for 2 nights in Vegas. Kinder people cannot be found. And I'm not just saying that because of Norma's world class Mexican cooking - She taught me how to make my own hot sauce. My new toilet in California will get a rude christening, I'm sure.

Big casinos now have penny slots. And the fun ones like "Men in Black", where you get to play little side games every so often. Those were right my unemployed alley.

Friday, November 05, 2004

11/5/04 Beaver

I had never been so happy to see Beaver. This might come as a surprise, but this Beaver was a sight to behold. The story goes that I had gone about 150 miles since my last fill up when I passed a gas station. No need to get gas, right? Well, after my odometer reached 300 miles, I started to get a little worried. Especially since the next city on the roadsigns was another 85 miles away. I'm not quite sure I would have made it that far.

Which is where Beaver came into play. Beaver, Utah sprang out of nowhere. An oasis in an otherwise barren, mountainous landscape of beautiful Utah. I know this story sounds lame, but I was seriously concerned that I was going to run out of gas in the middle of the desert mountain highway. And there were definitely stretches of road with no services for 150 miles or more. And no cell phone reception in just about the entire state. But seriously, I recommend a visit to Utah for the scenery. It is absolutely breathtaking. I've never seen stars at night like I once did camping near Arches National Park.

Thursday, November 04, 2004

11/4/04 Mile High

I realize that this week is turning into a travel journal. But given the quality of my facts lately, this is a refreshing change for me.

My first stop today was at Fort Kearney, Nebraska. I told my brother that the river was 7.7 feet deep, so I caulked my wagon and forded it. I lied. I really paid an indian to ferry us across. I also rested 2 days, got dysentery and traded 2 sets of clothes for 400 bullets. The bullets came in handy later in the day. I got pissed though that I shot 2 buffalo and a squirrel and could only carry 100 pounds back to my car, er, wagon.

After an entire day of almost continuous 75 mph speed limits, a gas station in nowheresville, Colorado that had a green plastic dinosaur out front, and 10 hours on the road, I find myself in Kobe-ville. The only difference between me and Kobe is that there's nobody in my room here in Eagle. That and I'm white. And he's famous. And he's really good at basketball. And he's a douchebag.

Finally, I-70 W through Denver is nuts, especially at night. Not only are you climbing to 10,000 feet through the twists and turns of the mountains, but there's a MINIMUM speed limit of 55 mph. I had to floor it to keep from getting a (whatever the opposite of speeding is) ticket. Oh, and there are tight downhill turns where the speed limit around the corner gets reduced from 75 to 70. There's really no need for cops to pull over speeders here. You're not topping 60 around those bends without dying.

Tomorrow - Vegas, baby.

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

11/3/04 - America's Heartland

I'm a little tired and started feeling bad for myself. Then I started thinking about people who REALLY had a bad day. Like Yasser Arafat, who, um, is almost dead. And George Bush, who woke up realizing that he actually has to clean up the mess he's made. That all made my disappointment in my fantasy team and the fact that I have to spend the night alone in Omaha seem a trivial.

I now understand why this part of America is called The Heartland. It's because "Flat fucking nothing for a thousand miles" doesn't sound as good. I also tried to make a joke that I drove through heaven. And you say, no, it's Iowa. But my brother already told me my joke sucked. And if you're the first to name the movie that's from, you get a point. And if you can somehow make that joke funny, you get two points.

Monday, November 01, 2004

11/2/04 Down with the government!

In honor of election day, I decided to exercise my freedom of speech in a bit of an excessive way. Today, my friends, I write about the Fluoride Conspiracy.

65.8% of all public water systems in the US is fluoridated. As children, we were told that fluoride prevents cavities and decay. Which is why it is in our water as well as in our toothpaste. I even had fluoride treatments at the dentist growing up. Fluoride occurs naturally in rocks in very small percentages, but before the US government insisted on dumping fluoride (also the main ingredient in rat poison) into our water system, it was nearly impossible for a human in the US to put fluoride in his or her body.

Ok, fluoride appears to prevent cavities... But what else does it do for us?

As seen in China and India where fluoride is at toxic levels in some water supplies, "Long-term exposure to excessive doses of fluoride causes bow-leggedness, arthritis, paralysis and makes people into hunchbacks."

Fluoride is also linked to lower IQs. "Fluoride crosses the blood-brain barrier producing biochemical and functional impairment of the nervous system during the developmental periods of infancy and childhood"

And probably the most interesting side effect is that studies have shown that fluoride causes a SEDATIVE EFFECT. Hmm... Curious... why would anyone want to introduce a sedative into the public water supply???

Among the countries that reject the idea of adding fluoride to the drinking water are Germany, Switzerland, the Netherlands, Sweden, Denmark, Finland, Norway, Iceland, Belgium, Austria and France.

Oh, and where did all of this fluoride come from? It was needed for the Manhattan Project back during WWII. Fluoride was required for the atomic bomb. So guess who had stockpiles of fluoride after the war? That's right - big business. So DuPont stood to make a killing if we could somehow introduce fluoride into our lives. Voila - toothpaste now with fluoride.

Well, I did just learn this today. So again, in honor of the most important election of my lifetime (and I'm sure yours too), I am speaking freely in a nation that holds the right to free speech very dear. So, get up, get showered, brush your teeth, and go vote. Or don't. It's cool.

For additional resources, check out these sites:

11/1/04 Whine of the Week

From my dad - Whine of the Week

Also, I realize the link to the toothbrushes from yesterday doesn't work. But if you right click and "Save Target As", it'll download.

Speaking of 'right click and "Save Target As",' all things Russian seems to bring a smile to my face. I read somewhere that they were about to nuke us, but were too busy watching this show.

On a personal note, I'm still moving in a couple of days. I'm starting a new sections with pictures called "Nachos on the Road".

From the bottom of this article...
So how did the Boston Red Sox really beat the New York Yankees?
According to first baseman Kevin Millar, the team had an ally named Jack Daniel.
On Friday's edition of Fox's Best Damn Sports Show Period, Millar noted it was about 35 degrees at Yankee Stadium before Game 6.
"I got a thing of Jack Daniel's and we all did shots for about 10 minutes before the game. And we won," Millar recalled.
"So Game 7 came and we had to do shots of Jack Daniel's. And we won the game."
Millar said he was thankful the Red Sox won the World Series in four games "because the Jack Daniel's shots were starting to kill me."

And finally, most people would say it's my social responsibility to say to get out tomorrow and vote. But I say, do whatever you want tomorrow. If you feel strongly about voting, go for it. If you feel strongly about not voting, do that too. A childhood friend gave me the best advice I've ever received. He always said, "You do what you want to do and you don't do what you don't want to do". Good advice.