Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Oh, and here's something for you. According to Einstein, the closer you travel towards the speed of light, the slower time passes. To the point where, if you could travel as fast as light, you wouldn't age. (But you'd also weigh infinity pounds, which is a good reason why it won't happen). Photons (individual particles of light) travel how fast? The speed of light. Which makes them how old? Those reflections of light that you see off of the ocean, lake, puddle (whatever) haven't aged a second since the beginning of time. (Why do I get the feeling I'm the only person that finds this remotely awesome?)
Ok, here are a few more things that maybe more of you will find more awesome:
Nintendo Acapella. (Thanks, Gary)
Ladies and gentleman... the vice president of the United States. (Waaah!)
And finally, the Sports Guy has branched out. He took photos at Superbowl Media Day. And commented on them. (Real good move on his part to try something new). My favorite is Kyle Orton and Brian Griese sitting together.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Monday, January 29, 2007
(Thanks to Mike for the Thriller Dance link. And suggesting that 1) I might actually get married and 2) If I do get married, it would be fun to do something similar.)
And the award for America's Best Restroom goes to...
I was watching some show on the History Channel. (It wasn't "Digging for the Truth" because that show blows - Every episode gives you some promise of finding Atlantis or the "real" pyramid builders in Egypt, and it always ends with, "Well, uh, we wasted the last hour of your life and we didn't find anything interesting. Join us next time on 'Digging for shit we're not going to find'.") Anyways, this show revolved around Archimedes. Archimedes was friggin' brilliant. Start with the link. But the dude (born in 287 BC) invented odometers to help put mile markers on the Roman roads. And he may have invented machines that simulated the movement of the planets (not to be duplicated for 2000 years). "Carl Friedrich Gauss, himself frequently called the most influential mathematician of all time, modestly claimed that Archimedes was one of the three epoch-making mathematicians"
Reggie Bush got fined by the NFL for taunting in the game against the Bears. If I were a restaurant owner in Chicago (like Ditka's), I'd offer to pay the fine. Since it was the game changing moment that inspired the defense to go on its tear. It's a little mean and childish. But I'd do it.
Do you want to know what lives in your eyelashes?
I had to watch "Donnie Darko" again. This time I watched the non-Director's cut. Although a friend of mine disagrees, I highly recommend the director's cut. (In fact, I watched the deleted scenes and the director was obviously very upset at many of the scenes that had to be taken out. To me, the movie missed some key character interactions without those deleted scenes. Feel free to discuss - Dissent won't bother me in the least). Where am I going with this? First off.... Watch Donnie Darko. I can't stress this enough times. Second, the song (and music video) from the movie... "Mad World" by Gary Jules.
Friday, January 26, 2007
Leave it to Maxim to be all positive.... The 50 Lamest Things of All Time.
Lifetime TV has a show called Gay, Straight or Taken? Which is close to the TV show I wanted to start called "Gay or European?".
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
I suppose the next couple of weeks might force me to post some Bears stuff every now and again. First, Tank Johnson has been given permission to play the Superbowl. (For those in my family, pay special attention to the 3rd paragraph).
Also, a PG-13 video of Sexy Rexy. I agree that he could possibly be the worst quarterback ever to play the Superbowl. And if I'm Tony Dungy and the Colts, here's my defensive plan... Eight guys in the box to either stop the run or pressure Rex. Which forces Rex to win the game under pressure. It's that simple.
The Colts are favored by 7 points over the Bears. I'm not a sports gambler, but I'd still take the Colts if my life savings were on the line. On the flip side, I'd take the Bears at +210. Because it seems like either the Colts will win this in a rout or the Bears will somehow run the ball, eat up the clock, get a key turnover or two and win it.
And for fun.... Two Weird Al interviews:
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
The State of the Union Address Drinking Game
I glanced over the rules once. If I were to take an educated guess, I'd say that anyone who decides to play will be passed out within an hour.
Monday, January 22, 2007
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Saturday, January 20, 2007
Instead of giving a review (it was like "Airplane!" except it wasn't supposed to be funny), I was trying to figure out how this movie got made. I imagine the brain trust having a discussion like this:
- Alright, we have a 30 million dollar budget to make the summer's big action movie.
- That's fantastic! Joe - you're in tight with Samuel L. Jackson. He'd be great for an action movie!
- He said he'd "only" charge us $9 million if we make the movie in a plane. He's still jealous of Wesley Snipes in "Passenger 57".
- Great. Bob - Do we have any scripts on hand that take place in a plane?
- Damn straight we do. I've got one right on my desk and I hear it's just awesome. It even has deadly snakes on board!
- Wow. Could this get any more perfect? That leaves us with 21 million to spare. What could we possibly do with all that money?
- Why don't we just advertise? We have $20 million left over - so let's just make lots of commercials. This is going to be the greatest movie ever!
- Great idea! Go team! Ready, break.
(20 minutes later)
- Oh shit. We forgot to leave ourselves money for everything else. A set, crew, cast... shit. Oh well, a bunch of no name actors and super shitty computer generated snakes from an Apple IIe will have to do. I wonder if the landlady from "Kingpin" is still around. We'll need her as a flight attendant.
I just found the sexiest thing ever... Harptallica. Two chicks playing Metallica songs on harps.
Friday, January 19, 2007
- $9 for a beer
- Dared to grow a mustache
- The Family Guy version
- Dwight Schrute on meteors
- Premarital Sex
- Taping yourself having sex
- Jellybeans (I think we've talked about this before, but you either like black liquorice or you don't. There is no in between.)
- Dwight Schrute talking thumbs
I used to like Paula Abdul when I was a young teenager. Not in the "I'm in the closet and wish I could be free and dance like her" way... more in the "she's really hot and I'd like me some of that" way. So, can somebody please find her some rehab. NOW.
I'm sure you've already heard. But the Feds are relentless. To clarify the anti-gaming law the President Bush signed a few months back - The law prevented American financial institutions from funding online games of chance. But it didn't prevent the online gaming. SOOOO... people just used other forms of non-US banking (Namely Neteller - It's like PayPal) to fund their poker games. Well, just yesterday the FBI busted Neteller executives during an airport layover. Within hours (maybe minutes), Neteller has ceased to transfer funds to gaming sites.
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Where am I going with this? Nowhere interesting, I assure you. But the ladies were friendly and one started making small talk. She wanted to know what I do for a living and I assured her that it's very boring. She insisted. Then 3 seconds in, she asked if I make websites (which is nothing close to what I do). So instead of trying to clarify what I do, I figured a better transition was to talk about nachos and NachosRule.com. For once in my life, I made a good split second decision. Nachos was, by far, a better topic of discussion and allowed me to meet everyone else.
Fast forward about 10 minutes. (You're probably asking yourself why I said the story gets more gay - here's where). The girls left, said goodnight and also mentioned they'd be visiting this website. Neighbor Brett had entered the hot tub somewhere between the nacho discussion and them leaving. He asked what the nacho thing was all about. So I explained in some detail. And how I only really update this part of the website anymore. He then asked, "So, what did you learn today?" I paused and had no answer. He then offered to share a new fact. This is how Target, the robe, the hot tub and this blog are all linked. They all led to today's fact. (Before I tell you what it is, Brett and I have never had a discussion about, well anything, before. The topic is merely coincidental. But will serve as a nice transition when I actually talk about Peak Oil).
He told me that the United States strategic oil reserve is being stored in salt caverns in Louisiana and Texas. He said that the salt was dissolved with water and each cavern can hold the volume of the Sears tower. And that only the President or the Secretary of Energy can order use of that oil. From the website link:
Current inventory: Click to open inventory update window
Highest inventory - The SPR reached its highest level of 700.7 million barrels in late August 2005. The Hurricane Katrina loans and sales reduced it during Fall 2005.
Current storage capacity - 727 million barrels
Current days of import protection in SPR - 59 days(Maximum days of import protection in SPR - 118 days in 1985)
International Energy Agency requirement - 90 days of import protection (both public and private stocks)(SPR and private company import protection - approx. 118 days)
Average price paid for oil in the Reserve - $27.73 per barrel
I got an email today to submit NachosRule.com to a science directory. So I did. And, in return, I always try to reciprocate. Their link is http://biology.science-directory.net/. (We're under the biology science, since, uh, food seemed to fit there best).
Cousin Eric sends a link to a guy whose room got covered in aluminum foil. (The link is better when you realize that the prank was played on his roommate and that he was involved.)
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Neighbor Natalie sends another link - Today's page is Found Magazine. "We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework, to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles - anything that gives a glimpse into someone else's life. Anything goes..."
I've decided to continue reading "Crossing the Rubicon". I'm collecting links and videos and will have a meaningful (and depressing) post soon. Just not tonight. I'm too tired to write anything well-thought out.
Monday, January 15, 2007
My freshman year high school history teacher said that he could make a perfect circle on the chalkboard using his perfectly circular rotator cuff. It looked something like this.
Who else watched the season premiere(s) of "24"? It's not all that often that I have verbal outbursts while sitting alone. But in the last 15 minutes, I perked up and found myself saying , "Oh Shit!". Then, a few minutes later, much louder, I shouted, "Holy Shit!" After today's episode, I feel like a woman in a hair salon needing to talk about some otherwise unimportant celebrity gossip. Oh, and I'll save the episodes for a week on my DVR in case you missed it and want to curse out loud too.
Sunday, January 14, 2007
Friday, January 12, 2007
I briefly begin to think that I'm just getting too old and I just don't know the lingo anymore. (Not that I ever really did - I'm just falling farther and farther behind). So I search for... you guessed it... "nachos". The results were lame - but I know that Google Nicki wouldn't send me something so lame. But I'm still too proud to ask (plus I was busy with another IM conversation and had 4 IE windows open). Then, it hits me. There's a button that reads "Wall it!" Ohhh... that's what she was talking about. And then it strikes me. A futuristic looking bunch of videos with my search results. So BlinkX is the fun site for the weekend.
I don't want Cousin Eric to think that his link is any less important because it's the 2nd story for today. But it kind of is. He sends a domino knocking down game. (Which is very thoughtful because we all know how much I love watching dominoes fall over).
You know what I love about tacos? Everything.
Here's a quick confession.... I just did the laziest thing ever. (Hopefully you can appreciate this). I forgot what movies I had at home from Netflix. They're sitting on my TV about 8 feet in front of me. But I didn't want to get up. So I went to the Netflix website instead. End of confession.
Thursday, January 11, 2007
That DVD movie I couldn't think of yesterday? Gridiron Gang. According the IMDB, it's only 35 percent suck. (Speaking of movies you'd never think of watching, I saw Idiocracy today. Thanks to the Human Cartoon for the recommendation.)
Toilets are cool. So are fish tanks. Which is why somebody invented the toilet fish tank.
Cousin Eric sends the world's greatest "Where are they now?" game. Rusty and Audrey Griswold.
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
I keep hearing the song "Remember the Name" on TV - It comes on whenever they're advertising some DVD release (I can't remember which DVD right now). Maybe it's because I have a mathematical mind, but I start listening to the lyrics every time it comes on:
This is ten percent luck
Twenty percent skill
Fifteen percent concentrated power of will
Five percent pleasure
Fifty percent pain
And a hundred percent reason to remember the name
If I were to be quite honest, all I can think is: Isn't just a little too specific? Like, whoever thought of "concentrated power of will". And why is that piece 15%? It kind of makes me think that the singer used to be a real estate agent and was just used to making up percentages off the top of his head. Could you imagine him at his previous job?
This house is ten percent down
Twenty percent investment
Fifteen percent you can deduct off your taxes
Five percent APR
Fifty percent savings
And a hundred percent reason to buy it right now
Your average American couple would look at each other and say, "Well, you can't argue with that, honey. It does add up." "Ten and five, carry the one, yeah, an even one hundred percent. I guess it does add up. Where do we sign?"
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
I got a clip of Johnny Knoxville doing one of his "Jackass" stunts. The clip is funny. The fact that my dad sent it might be even funnier.
Dracula's castle is for sale. (No joke here. It's just pretty cool.)
All of the inside-the-park home runs from 2006.
They call this the "4th Dimension Roller Coaster". The name is a little lame. But the video looks pretty amazing.
And a sad moment... one which I'll try to turn into a moment of reverence. The cartoonist for Scooby Doo died today. Scooby Doo was by far my favorite cartoon as a kid. So, thank you to Iwao Takamoto for some great memories.
Monday, January 08, 2007
Hey! The missing evidence in Hussein case. My God - He WAS innocent. (He was hung a week ago, Frank.)
If you've ever considered living out in nature - Mike sends a very interesting article about a dude who is doing just that.
Sunday, January 07, 2007
My dad sends George W. Bush's latest plan - A sudoku offensive.
I went on a little kick and just typed "propaganda" into YouTube. One of my favorite videos is an anti-LSD ditty from the 1960's.
It's been a while since I've written about a poker hand. But I was involved in a good one yesterday. In my home game I keep "Player of the Year" points. And yesterday was our "Tournament of Champions" for the top 10 players of 2006. Seven players showed up. I got a little lucky and ended up heads up with almost equal chips to the other guy. With 35,000 in play, I'd guess he was up 21,000 to 14,000 or so when this hand happened.
He limped on the button (heads up, the button acts first preflop) with blinds 800/1600. I look down at K6o and check it. (I thought about raising, but any raise commits me to going all in against a reraise. Plus, I'm comfortable playing post flop against most opponents). The flop comes A 5 4 and I check. He checks behind. I think to myself - how awesome would it be if the turn and river bring "the wheel" (And Ace through 5 straight) - that would give me a quiet, higher straight. The turn brings the 3. So now I have the straight draw, but I check and opt for the free card. (I'd call a small bet here. Depending on how weak my opponent seemed, I could potentially check raise all in.) He checks too. The river brings the 2 I was looking for. Sweet! There's no flush possibility on the board, so I figure my best bet is to just overbet everything and look like I'm stealing a pot where the board should play. I bet 5500 into a pot of 3200. I'm just praying for a call. Instead, he does something I never expect. He goes all in. I look at him. He looks at me. I look at him. He looks at me. The ONLY hand that has me beat is 7 6. I tell him exactly that. I'm pretty sure he's got a 6 - I don't think he's going to bluff there with nothing. We had played very well for 5 straight hours and he just isn't the bluffing type for all the marbles. I think for a few seconds and decide that I'll just give him credit if he happens to have that hand exactly. I call. He flips over 7 6 and wins. (If you notice, he turned the straight and he did a very nice job of slowplaying it).
Friday, January 05, 2007
Thursday, January 04, 2007
2007 is already off to quite a media frenzy. First, there are UFOs being reported at Chicago O'Hare Airport. Some "mysterious object" crashes through a roof in New Jersey. Then a Russian rocket explodes over Denver. Oh, and North Korea is prepping for their big nuclear strike. Are these all related? Doubtful. But I'll leave that nugget of doubt in your head for the remainder of the day.
Happy "World Hypnotism Day".
All I really have today is YouTube stuff. This is my favorite - Spiders on Drugs. (I highly recommend watching the whole thing.)
I don't know if this is safe for work. (It is YouTube safe). You can decide on your own. But they're actual sex ed videos for the mentally retarded in the 1970's. I just thought... you know, it shouldn't matter what I thought....
For girls (The 3 hole thing is confusing for me - and I've never tested as mentally retarded).
Did we need another reason to love Scrubs?
Oh, here's a non-video. I saw a headline "Herpes Might Cause Alzheimer's". And I thought - Hmm, that's actually kind of interesting. Then I read "More than 80 percent of Americans are infected with HSV (Herpes Simplex 1)." Now that, I didn't know. All I could think then is... Wait, do I have herpes? And do you? And is it really that dangerous if all of us have it? And how can they test this Alzheimer's theory when the vast majority of Americans have herpes? Then I got sidetracked and started researching how viruses work. But you don't need to know how lame my afternoon was.
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
Comedy Central calls New Years Day "National Hangover Day". Here's how every conversation went with everybody I called that day:
Me: "Happy New Year"
Them: "Happy New Year to you too"
Me: "What are you up to today?"
Them: "I'm on my couch. How about you?"
Me: "The same"
I guess it seemed funnier at the time. But it's absolutely true.
Yahoo News at its finest:
Americans Optimistic for 2007
Americans See Doom, Gloom for 2007
Remember when the original Super Mario Bros. seemed so hard? Now they have races to finish it.
You know how I always ask if anybody has a copy of the 1992 vice presidential debate? Well, there's another video I'm looking for (and no, I'm not paying $49.99 on Amazon for it - and you better not either)... Donald Duck in MathMagic Land.
Monday, January 01, 2007
Let's start the new year right - With the 2006 Darwin Awards.
Since I love those retrospective lists, let's keep moving along with them. From the useless information department: The wild and wacky baseball stories from 2006.
One of my favorites to watch was:
Tigers first baseman Sean Casey managed to get thrown out at first base, 5-to-7-to-3 in your scorecard, in an Aug. 24 game against the White Sox. He hit a line drive that ticked off the glove of third baseman Joe Crede and landed in left field. But Casey thought Crede had caught it, so he headed back to the dugout. Which allowed left fielder Pablo Ozuna to scoop up the baseball and whoosh it to first for the strangest out of the year.
Another list - this time a little less fun... Top 25 censored stories. (Thanks to Mike who once again reminds us to always question what we're being spoon fed from the media).
Back to sports. But this time it's a video. When it comes to team sports, just about everyone in my family would prefer to make the great pass rather than score the points. Which is really funny when we play some sort of sport together - nobody wants to do the scoring. In the family tradition of great assists - The top 10 NBA assists of 2006.
And the final list of the day - 100 things we learned in 2006.