As many of you know, I somehow duped myself into doing P90X this summer. If you're unfamiliar with P90x, it's a workout routine that you'll see on a whole bunch of late night infomercials. It's 90 straight days of working out for 60-90 minutes per day. And it's meant for people that are in way better shape than I am. Honestly, I am hoping that my "after" photo looks as good as most "before" photos in their advertisement.
To give you an idea of how sad it is I'm doing this, I was telling Cousin Eric today that my goal is to be able to do one honest to goodness pull up by the end. Even sadder is that I've never been able to do one in my life and it would be an amazing accomplishment.
Since the workouts consume 60-90 minutes of my day... everyday... that's all I've been talking about lately. Just the other day I made it to the halfway point. Now, you'd probably expect me to talk about my numbers and give some sort of half way progress report with pounds and inches lost and strength gained. But that's not my style. Nor are my numbers all that impressive. In fact, I was about to say that I'll give a full report after 90 days, but I don't want to make any promises.
What I did want to do, however, was come up with some sort of "Top Ten" type list for those who have done P90X. This only really makes sense for those who have done the workouts since you've spent dozens of hours with Tony Horton and are starting to feel like he's living with you. So, my apologies to those who haven't done P90X - I know this all seems elitist and exclusionary.
There are so many classic moments in these videos that I want to make this some sort of "Work in Progress" where people can submit their own "P90X moments". So, if you have a P90X story/moment/favorite quote, send them to nachomaster@nachosrule.com. In the meantime, here's my preliminary list to give you an idea of what I'm getting at here:
- Just about halfway through the yoga video, Tony talks about doing the best downward dog of your life. He then proceeds to say, "They're coming in to shoot the cover of Downward Dog Magazine." I laughed the first time. Now I look forward to it as inspiration.
- Just to make you feel worse about yourself, one of they guys in the Plyometrics (jump training) video has a prosthetic leg.
- Phase 2 brings all sorts of harder push ups and pull ups (not that I could do a whole lot of regular ones to begin with). At the end of the Phase 2 pull up day, Tony talks about doing pull ups that are easier for you if you're "wasted" and the ones you don't like if you still have energy. Needless to say I'm beyond wasted every time, hoping to do maybe 6 pull ups with the aid of a chair. Then smiley chick on the right in the video says, "I'm going to do corn cob pull ups." For those unfamiliar, corn cob pull ups are pull ups where, at the top of the pull up, you move your body right, then left, then away from the bar, then towards the bar, before going down again.
- Does Tony really need to do the pterodactyl every time he does the big reverse arm circles? Wasn't it enough in one video? If my count is right, he does it in three.
- Since you do the Ab Ripper X routine more than any other (three times a week), everything gets magnified. A few minutes before the end, Tony walks in from the back, acting all macho, slowing saying, "Ab.... Ripper... X..." For whatever reason I hate that.
- Tony's dad really threw some no hitters? He says so at the end of the Plyometrics video. Who's his dad? I actually checked the all time no-hitter list for the major leagues and there's no Horton on there. What's he talking about? Slow pitch softball?
- Thanks for the P90X recovery drink shameless promotion at the end of every workout.
- What are the odds that Tony and Dreya Webber are/were hooking up? Even odds? Big Brown 1-5 kind of odds?
- I love those pot stirrer cool downs at the end. Tony always asks what kind of soup people are stirring. During Phase 2, Phil says, "I'm stirring up trouble." Tony is obviously upset that somebody else was trying to be funny. Phil's my new hero.
- Speaking of Phil, he gets verbally massacred during the Stretch video. I somehow have a feeling that they filmed the previous pot stirring video first and Tony decided to get revenge here by pointing out how inflexible Phil is.
Thanks to newly discovered Cousin-in-Law Chris M. for some more fantastic P90X moments...
- "X me baby"
- After a tough set he'll look at the computer and say "Now that's.....P90X"
- "The Georgeous Dreya Weber"
- "German Potato Soup!"
- "How many are you going to do Phil?, How many are you going to do Morraine". I'll still be doing pushups when both of you are done". What an ass!
- (Send more and I'll keep this list updated)
414 comments:
1 – 200 of 414 Newer› Newest»some of my personal favorites..
"oOops...i think i just ripped my pants"
how during every exercise, tony goes...i'm gonna go light...how about...a THOUSAND pounds...then cuts the set short after about 3 reps because he has to "go check on everyone".
"imagine you've gotta do a hundred of them!"...shut up. 12 just sucked.
in the ab ripper video, adam (who seems like a pretty cool cat to me) looks visibly uncomfortable when tony walks up to him like "oOo adam's a hot shot, he had to get his arms up"
so, so so many.
I think Tony wants Dreya but she isn't interested. He always calls her gorgeous and in one of the videos he say "(man's name) is a lucky boy." I am pretty sure she is married, but while we are talking about her, I get seriously annoyed with her bouncing around all the time like she is hardcore during the legs and back workout and then in the Groucho walk she gets scolded for not being low enough. Still hardcore are we Dreya?
p.s. Nice outfit in the core synergetics video!
"are you ready?....'cause its comin'!"
"Hamburger bad, fries bad, coca-cola bad. There you go, I said it, drink your water people!"
I just got an anonymous email with some P90X "peeves"...
First off, I seriously doubt Tony and Drea were hooking up. She'd be more into Pam from Plyo, if you know what I mean.
I do think Sophia (legs/back) must have rebuffed Tony's feeble advances. He cracks on her form endlessly and even disses her choice of soup during the pot-stirrers.
Hair plugs? No doubt.
I hate the man.
I like Tony. He's cheesy, but it's kind of ingratiating.
And the guy is 50-years-old! When he's "checking on the kids," I hardly think it's because he can't do the workout.
I wonder what he actually does on a daily basis. With a physique like that, It's got to be more than just P90X.
Oh man I love this....I am going to think about this everytime I hear one of the cheesy lines. I like P90X and it is a good workout, but it is very cheesy in spots!!!
"poke your fingers into the sky, and scrape the backs of your hands down the wall"...is this just to show off his huge guns?
This is great!
Tony and Dreya are banging for sure and ya, enough with the effing recovery drink already.
I'm on Day 40 and the comments are starting get annoying. It's cool though. I can live with it and actually really like Tony's style. The program itself is top-knotch.
I like the way Tony jokingly rips into people. "Towel boy", "Pull-up boy", etc and have no doubt he's is better shape than any of them...except maybe Adam (not add 'em).
A few more:
"That's why the call her 'Blam'."
"She makes Gumby look like the Tin-Man...vruuuup."
"We might even do some extra. (gay eyebrow-raised look)"
"Head: up! Chest: up! Everything: up!" *snap*
So, how is it that Dreya Webber "flies through the air with the greatest of ease"...he says that like every time he introduces her. Is she a career acrobat or something??
I love the work-out though...very intense! I especially love Sophia...I would drive all the way from Indiana to California for a dentist appointment with her!!!
I also think Tony's comments can be annoying at times. The simple answer is to mute the video and just go for the cues.
Static, static,.....balistic!
Um, guys, hate to burst your bubble, but Tony is totally gay...heard it from a reputable source in the "fitness" industry.
However....
"did you get your tickets?. To where? To the gun show"
is my favorite.
I much prefer Janie from 10 minute trainer to any of the women on P90X.
A couple of quickies:
I like Tony. You can tell he really cares about the people in his video and the people at home. Who cares if he's gay, if he is at all. I've also read he and Pam are an item so who knows (or cares)?
I googled Dreya because she kinda' annoys me. She is married but she calls herself "omnisexual." She made a movie in '06 where she plays a married gymnast having an affair with a female gymnast. It's called "The Gymnast" if you are interested.
And the girl in the "10 Minute Trainer" is the hottest by far on either video. The blonde is very cute as well from 10MT.
I'm in week 8 of P90X. In Ab Ripper X I always watch the guys reaction behind Tony when he says, "We're doing 40, we may even do some more." He has this little smirk and I know that I'm almost done. And I like in Yoga X when he's yelling at Adam and he catches himself and says something about being to loud for Yoga X. And Adam seems like a good guy. Someone mentioned that above and I can't disagree.
Pam the blam...
Get Ready, cuz we're comin'(in a wierd high-pitched voice)
just keep coming back everyday and pushing play.
Do your best and... Forget the rest.
I also find it funny how in one workout Tony makes Lobster Bisque in the Karen Pot stir, and although he claims its not for him, in another workout he gets on the dentists' case on making lobster Bisque and talks about how fattening it is
my favorite is during the warm up for chest and back doing arm circles, and he;s like "hohh yeah get the fire in there your gonna need it, ohh the burn is here when the burn comes breath breath more."
I just finished p90x. I love it. It's the most well rounded workout program I've done. Strangers constantly come up to me and tell me how "fit" I am. As a former steroid bodybuilder who used to want tone "huge", I know what an unhealthy lifestyle is. I act like a sales man for p90x even though I make no money for it.
It is totally annonying to watch it every day with all of the annoying antics of tony horton.
"I love him but I hate him"
I will be making a video of ALL of the annoying parts and put it in YouTube as a tribute and homage to p90x later this year.
I wonder why they just didn't go for a more serious tone. All the joking is nerdy. And the camera panning catches me off guard.
The annoying cutesy-voice is the worst...
"A lot of workouts would be done right now...Not ours! Not done!"
I think that Tony is funny, but realistically, we all get annoyed with him b/c he is the only guy that we see in every disk. The other people we get breaks from seeing.
Also, Dreya Webber is married to writer and director Ned Farr. Tony is actually better friends with her husband, plus he doesn't swing that way.
I love p90x, but it is the same as seeing a person everyday. If they aren't in a romantic relationship with me, it can get to be too much. Results are fantastic though and the workouts are hard...they "put the X in p90x!"
"They're workin' hard, I know you are" was definately one of my fav's. I also liked how Tony got annoyed with everyone trying to out-do him on the side-tri-rise! Ha
I finished my first round of the X a few weeks ago and I will admit, I am in the best shape ever (even after 2 kids)! I giggled at all of these comments bringing back the ol' memories
He insists that the guy in one of his videos is his "twin". I forget the dudes name but tony says it like 6 times.
I cant stand dreya's ballistic jumping around...i cant stand it.
Legs and back, Dreya:"tony what if i push off my heel here instead of my toe" shes trying to be all innovative..tony replies, i dont care
Legs and back: Dreya does this dumbass bow when tony says that dreya invented, no wait introduced the three way lunge to him.
I belive in Yoga X he prompts "the kids" when he says do your best...and no one answers him...he finishes it himself...
He also tries to fist pound (i think pam) after an exercise and he gets totally ignored.
Back and biceps: when hes doing the raisers...stretching and says:"we're doin the wave and that herb in the back does this stupid ass "wave face"
Ab ripper X: fifer scissors..."ami gonan say eleven, and eleven...
STABLATIC!!!
its not abripper 100 or 200 its 339 * (or somethign)
why is adam so seriosu
i think phil and tony have a weird relationship.
i like after doing as many pull-ups as I can Tony says for many of you , you did over 120 pull-ups. what??? serious..i thought I was doing good at 80..now I feel like a shmuck!
I'm on week five of p90x and I LOVE IT!! I do laugh at the corny jokes, how about when he says "not this beauty (pointing to his face)...this beauty (pointing to his abs)"
His rant on "I don't believe in age...I won't get crochity"
His quad stretch and "Grabbing" a chair, or brother, or mother, or small cat.
"I'm pushing my own personal pause button"
Seriously, how can you not love Tony? Every single one of his comments is like being wrapped in velvet.
I'll find myself walking around during the day trying to fit his comments into unrelated conversations.
"Nobody go, I'm going to show the folks the form"
"Don't just kinda do it" /handwave
"He's some famous crouching, curling kind of guy"
"We've been done for a while. You still working hard? Going on hikes and stuff?"
"If that ain't P90X soup I don't know what is!"
"He's from Belgium! That's all they do up there! Is that right, dude?"
"I don't mean to brag, but I can do about 90 to 110 pounds in this exercise"
OK this is by far one of the funniest things I've read. When you watch the tapes so often, you start to get REALLY annoyed with everything he says. Such as "do you want to see beautiful? Not this (as he points to his face), my back"
And I can't stand doing legs and back, because I have to watch Dreya bounce around like a hotshot.
in regards to ab ripper x..
"i hate it, but i love it."
gotta love tony. i'm thinkin' they can make him a legendary figure, sorta like chuck norris became..
and after each work out..i feel like a million bucks, just like he says...
and i like when he mentions about that one guys triceps, triceps of gold or something..
How about toward the end of Legs and Back when he goes to fist pump Sophia, she lets go of her bands and they whack Tony right in the face? Or when he says tippy toes and asks, "Why do I always say Tippe toes?" Try the BALLS of your feet instead. I love in Plyo when he says, now if you're really struggling here and thel gless guy jumps in -(or if you only have one leg . . .)
First of all, I love the results of P90X. Secondly, my husband and I agree that Tony is only tolerable if you think of him as Michael Scott from "The Office." Then it becomes humorous and less obnoxious. I can't believe he goes up to people, asks them what rep they are on when they are clearly trying to concentrate in front of the cameras and then says "...busss-ted" when they don't answer right away. It is much more tolerable than Denise Austin's "you're like a living structure..." crap. No, I am not like a living structure, I actually am a living structure. Have fun P90X-ers!
Personal favorite...."get sexy with it" during the jump training exercise.
I am glad I found this thread because I have thought all this stuff was both really funny and annoying...
The reason I found it was because I was also trying to find out if Tony's dad had really thrown a no-hitter. Couldn't find anything about it but this came up...
My favorite that someone posted above:
"He also tries to fist pound (i think pam) after an exercise and he gets totally ignored."
-that one always cracks me up!
I want to strangle Dreya. Like a lot of you said, she pretends to be all hardcore and then cheats on her exercises and Tony won't call her out on it. Like on the side tri push-ups, she cheats the whole time by doing side oblique raises and bending her body. She's not doing the tri exercise. Grrr.
Also can't stand the guy in the back of the plyo DVD. I think he's in another, too. He's jumping around like a crazy man and he annoys me. Cut your hair, hippie!
I cracked up in plyo when he says
"That's a short uncle"
It's amaizing he can talk through any of it, especially ab ripper X. I'm usually struggling just to breath.
Agreed. Loved finding others out there that are spending too much time with Tony:
"Scissor. Get it."
"We're doin' 25 a pop!"
"Green bean soup? That's kind'a nasty, dude."
"There's no such thing as a sanity clause..."
Ab Ribber X. "Change when you hear the number only."
Does he have to say that 8,274 times? Yeah, I get it - I'm only supposed to change when I hear the number. Now shut your mouth and say the damn number.
At least Dreya isn't in that one. She sucks.
What a great thread! It's almost cult-like. My big beef with P90x is during Ab Ripper:
'Don't do this every day, because you don't need it every day'
Ummm.. then why do you have us do abs 3 days in a row by sandwiching Yoga Belly 7 in between two Ab Rippers?? In the beginning my abs were already sore as hell during the Yoga belly portion ... now I just skip it. It's like he says, you don't need it every day.
how 'bout... OHHH!!! THAT'S BURRRNYY BURN!!!
My favorite... if you try to do extra reps do you know where that weight will land... ON TOP OF YO FACE!!!
Pat - you nailed it. Drives me nuts hearing him say; Scissor....get it!?
Ugh!!! So annoying. Almost as annoying as Dreya and her stupid bows when he talks about the Dreya roll - a move she clearly stole from someone else.
I dont know if i hear it right
"Johnny intense like nobody's fittest"
i find it hilarious when tony goes up the the big buff dude in the "back and biceps" workout, sayin' he has quite a few more wrinkles than during the power 90 videos. lmao, the dude starts cracking up and can barely do his bicep curls...
Tip of the day: Don't smash your face!
Downward Dog Magazine is the best tho.
And the quote is: "Johnny intense like nobody's bi'ness"
he can't say the word business correctly.. FACT.
Tony's the best
My favorite comment is when Tony is talking about the push up bars and says,"I like them because they give me 6 extra inches soo I can go suppa deep!!
whatever dude
Tony is a cheese dog but it is a great workout
I wish gymjones.com would make a video like p90x, they were the guys who trained the actors in 300!! i seen some of their videos.. they're some pretty hardcore, i guess that's why the do ice climbing lol
the whole freaking nine yards..
In the Legs and Back workout when Tony says
"Happiness is this right here".
Or when he bites his knuckles right before single leg wall squats.
Plus everyone is "fit as a fiddle"
I love him though.
Lol...the girl's name in Chest & Back is not "Morraine". Her name is "Maren"!
There are so many funny comments. Then again, I'm only in week 3. My favorites thus far.
"Tip of the day, don't smash your face"
(German accent)"German potato soup!"
"Frog boy" (plyo video)
(When doing neck stretches)"Let the weight of your head hang. Mine weighs about 600 lbs... and there ain't a damn thing inside."
In Plyo" We tried to hire some hotshots...couldn't do it...people in class could.
TONY HORTON IS GOD IN THE FITNESS WORLD
FAV QOUTE " ROME WASNT BUILT IN A DAY AND SO
IS YOUR BODY"
This is absolutely hilarious. I can't believe no one has mentioned Morraine's "O" Face in chest and back. While doing arm circles when they switch directions and point the fingers down the cameras get a close up of her face and i LMAO everytime. Look for it.
Another favorite quote of mine is on Kenpo I believe is talking about Wesley where he calls him "Mr. Flex and Stretch"
so many goods ones but most have been mentioned.
"Like a terradactyl backing out of trouble.......Caaaaaaawww"
Every time after the warmup are done Tony always looks at Drea and says alright tops are comming off.
Sounds kind of like an old man oggling young chicks.
The cameras always zoom in on the chicks butts and tops. Look closer on one piece on legs/backs Sophia, (who is freaking beatiful) is pulling donw on the band to do her version of a pull up. I think its around 40:40 min mark if you pause it right then and there you can see her nice butt eating her shorts big time! LOL.
Funny I thought I was the only one noticing these things. When I am wasted and Tony is asking for more. You can do it this is P90X people you got to bring it. I always cuz at him, like he is a reall person. I tell him shut the f.. up Tony. I know its funny it's like he is there, I can only imagine what the guys training with him are really thinking.
Pause right at the 44:14 minute mark to get an upclose view of Sophias perfect derrier having lunch. Leg and Back Video/Reverse Grip Chin Ups. What a beauty
In Kenpo, during the stretching part, check out the red headed chick when they are doing the lying down leg stretches. She has a big sweat mark on her hooch, and it's quite disgusting.
LOL! Nice catch, never noticed this before. Thanks guys! or girls!
Anonymous said...
Pause right at the 44:14 minute mark to get an upclose view of Sophias perfect derrier having lunch. Leg and Back Video/Reverse Grip Chin Ups. What a beauty
10:08 AM
Anonymous said...
In Kenpo, during the stretching part, check out the red headed chick when they are doing the lying down leg stretches. She has a big sweat mark on her hooch, and it's quite disgusting.
1:26 PM
I always enjoyed the Intro black and white portion where he talks about the workout. Umm..His voice when he goes hight pitch and throws in random UH HUHH..YEAH. Also with one of the workouts with Phil Tony asks him during a move "Am I in your space" or seomthing and Phil goes "WIll you get lost?" ANd everytime a girl is doing a move you can tell Tony is dedicated to proper....."form". Watch his eyes. ALso like mentioned earlier the cameras are usually focusing on tops and booty. His "S" sounds sometimes go on a tad too long... "that'sss nicce" Many more but i can't recall.
I can't believe no one has mentioned Tony from Kenpo- BLACK Tony, lol- and the hilarious cat claws that he does right before "claw, pull, punch." Cracks me up every time.
I like Tony Horton! He's random and energetic and he has real work ethic. I don't begrudge him the sets that he gets to walk around checking form, because it's obvious he pays his dues. The gun show, heck yes. :)
Pam is my favorite- her queenly head nod when Tony introduces her puts her worlds above Dreya Webber. Sorry, Dreya.
I love Tony. I think my #2 favorite Tony moment is when he makes fun of the guy with one leg in plyometrics. He's like, well if can't do it you can just jump rope instead of hot foot. Then gives the guy the eye and he's like "or if you only have one leg right?" Hilarious.
The other one I love is during yoga X. Everyone is totally chilling doing yoga and he's like what's that everybody do your best and........he waits a good 5-6 seconds then mumbles under his breath, forget the rest, yea that's right.
Personally I think Dreya is hooking up with Adam. There is that one moment in the workout they do together where it looks like she's going to give him a hug but then remembers the camera. Dreya = dancer, adam = dancer, coincidance?
Did anyone else notice that during Legs and Back when you do sneaky lunges Tony says that everyone did 20 but he counted wrong and everyone actually did 22?
And i can't stand Dreya and her dumb jumping around she is such a spaz
And is Blam even a word...
do you think tony smokes or used to smoke because in the plyometrics video he mentions grabbing a cigarette and in legs and back he pretends to have a cigar while doing groucho walk
Has anyone noticed how Scotty sounds very stupid in chest and back. I find it hilarious. And Blam is not a word and I am pretty sure that Tony probably didnt graduate high school because all of his stupid comments but it doesnt matter because he is jacked. And I HATE Dreya, she is a spaz.
And Scotty cheats on his reps during the first round of dive bombers. he counts wrong and says he has done more than he actually has
Groucho Marx- "Women, do what you feel. Men, Do what you feel...there's a quote in there somewhere."
When Tony and dreya are hugging themselves and then hug each other I always get grossed out cuz they are sooo sweaty!
I also hate when he says, "BUSTED!" to the people who don't immediately tell him what rep they're on... Tony, they were in the middle of a breath. Chill, dude!
Lol...this is hilarious. I'm glad to hear that my BF and I probably aren't the only ones mimicking his routines as we do it.
Abs:
"touch my hand... touch my haaaaaaand"
last 10 seconds "woah woah"
Kenpo:
"boom boom"
Core:
"You don't have to do a push up...we like to"
Cardio:
I love that that he strokes her arms and makes all these nice comments to the red hair freckled girl in front of her fiance Jason.
Legs:
"this is Sophia, she's studying to be a dentist...here teeth are like chicklets..."
Random ones I can't remember where:
"Wait for me"
"So you could look ex-say-lent"
"I'm going to skip the push up just to show you that option exists"
But yeah, Dreya is by far the most annoying person ever. I dread the days she's on. She looks like a man, and thinks she's soooo cool. She reminds me of those brown nosers. Does she not realize that Sophia is wayyy hotter than she'll ever be?
I am almost 47 and have had two kids - people actually stop me and ask how I stay so fit. I timidly tell them p90x. My husband refers to my workout as Tony time.
My favorite is in Kenpo -
knuckles, ball kick, back kick - cracks me up - don't know why
What about "There aint no part one or part two, It's part two"? Did I miss that in here somewhere? anyway, Always laugh at that. AbRipperX
LOVE THIS SITE -- laughing my ass off over here... anyway, my personal favorites (that haven't been mentioned yet):
"This is not Ab Ripper 100 or 200, this is Ab Ripper 339" (or 349 cuz of the extra mason twists)? -- where does that number come from? I count 12 exercises at 25 reps plus 50 mason twists -- that's 350. Did he skip one somewhere?
Yoga X:
"I highly suggest a Yoga block here, use your cat or dog if you don't have one"
"Oh, that's a relief" -- he says it twice during triangle pose or something, when you straighten the leg -- annoys the hell out of me
"OOh, that's cushier"
And I'm SO glad I'm not the only one who can't stand Dreya. Sophia's my favorite.
These are great. I think in Core Synergistics he says, "The word of the day is engage. No, i don't want you to run out and get engaged...."
No Tony, really? I was going to run right out and do that today!
haha these are great guys. I thought of another one where during side tri rises Dreya goes crazy with reps and Tony of course has to go all out too and then some. So he does and then threatens with a DON'T DO THAT AGAIN, IF ANYONE DOES more than 22(or whatever) IMMA COMIN TO YOUR HOUSE.
-...But it's all been lost in the world of fancy gidgets and gadgets and stupid things that DON'T WORK
-DRINK YOUR WATER PEOPLE
-THAT LUCKY NED FARR, THAT LUCKY BOY
-OH THOSE BARS ARE SOO TASTY
-That's why I workout, to drink the recovery drink!
-While he worksout in one of the videos he says something like "just when it's getting hard I'M GONNA CHECK UP ON MY KIIIIIIDS" in a high pitch voice that almost made me drop my dumbells in laughter and fart.
-Dreya during the stretching for ..shoulders and arms i think? Tony goes "alright let's workout those shoulders" and for a split second you see her disappear from the screen to get her weights or whatever and Tony goes into the cross face shoulder stretch ahahah SHE GOT FAKED and JOe or whatever his name is is laughing his ass off during the stretch but he hides it i think when his arm is across his FAYCE!
Me and my wife are loving the comments, we're almost done with week 3.
Favorites are:
My wife pointed out to me Tony and one of the ladies hugging each other during huggers.
During neck rolls, Tony asks one of the ladies what her shoulder is saying, and she responds "work me out."
i can not stop laughing at this page. my favorite is in ab ripper x: "halfway done; party's almost over awwwwww"
this is awesome. some are funny, some are annoying, some make you lose your concentration.
can't believe no one has mentioned this one:
at the end of kenpo, during cool down, tony points at the sweat stain on the red head chick's shirt, and says, "this is not fake. we do actual dna removal."
also this gem: after the first side of the oblique v-ups in ab ripper, i always say in unison with him, after he laughs, "they're working hard, i know you are!"
also love the "stirring up trouble" line from phil, mentioned earlier.
another classic, i think in ab ripper x, tony says he's gonna go "check on the kids" turns around, sees adam (the black guy) and immediately says "i mean peeps"
LOL
I just noticed this: In the early part of biceps/back, Tony says, "Whack it! Whack it!" and then mutters, "Not the first time I've done that."
we all know dreya is irritating as hell, but how come no one is talking about KATIE on BACK AND BICEPS....always trying to kiss tony's ass. i love how everyone else totally ignores her too
sophia is smokin so are audra and shawna in the yoga workout
In arms and shoulders Tony: "Wow. Wow. What is wow upside down?" [pause] Everyone: "MOM."
This thread is hysterical. They're all priceless.
I like to call her Blam.
Makes me look like a fat dude.
The pteradactyl in every video
Seriosuly though Sophia's hot. She is fun to watch.
"He's the one man band man ... I don't even know if that makes sense."
""This is not Ab Ripper 100 or 200, this is Ab Ripper 339" (or 349 cuz of the extra mason twists)? -- where does that number come from? I count 12 exercises at 25 reps plus 50 mason twists -- that's 350. Did he skip one somewhere?"
Remember the leg climbs are 12 each, so only 24 there.
Also the bit in back and biceps where the dude had to change his curl weight.
"Bobby picked the wrong weight, he thought he was a hero"
Funny to see how many ppl got something to say about the P90X Video. What's funnier is that ppl watched the infomercials and decided to invest in the program to lose the extra or "more than extra" weight they have on their bodies and still remain hypocrites and criticize Tony and others.
He created an exercise workout program and a food consumption guide as an "Option" for you to do so you're less likely to suffer from cardiovascular disease. Plus he's saving you hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars that usually get wasted into gym or personal trainer investments or more eating out restaurants. Do the workout and try to get results. If it's too hard, then don't do it...but don't down Tony for trying to make it somewhat entertaining because we all know how boring exercising can be, especially with a lack of motivation...
I Think Sophia The Dentist from the Legs and Back workout is sexy :)
IHHM, lighten up. Everyone is just having a little fun. I beleive to a person everyone on this thread, including me, is grateful to Tony and P90X!
Here's another one - "Let's get busy like bunny rabbitts!"
what is adams last name from ab ripper x
My husband and I always laugh when after the Dreya forearm stretch during the Stretch dvd, Tony says, Slap it, slap it, make it feel good! I do agree with Tony the "glute" stretch does feel TOASTY!
I have to agree that dreya is annoying, tough, but annoying.
Has anyone else noticed the voice over in the ab-ripper video? When he calls out the #14. Funny.
Love P90 tho!
sheeeez ... i thought i was the only freak out there who picked up on these funny/annoying things ... nice to know I'm not alone ... okay here's mine ...
I think it's in Plyo ... Tony finishes doing an excercise (Jump Knee Tuck THE MOTHER!) and he's so out of breath he say's "Jesus!" ... then he quickly corrects himself and say "jeepers".
Also in Plyo he busts on the Guy in the back (dominic) for toweling off after warm up ... "What's going on towel boy --- you're toweling off already ... holy cow!"
This is great! I find myself cracking up at the dvds as well. Here are a couple more that I haven't heard mentioned yet...
Chest & Back: During the warmup, Tony says to his twin while doing knee raises..."Looks like ahh robot move there, I like it there"
Back & Biceps: Katie brown noses the entire video, but I love when when she says "I'm heavying up my weight...ha haaa huu huuuhhh huuuuhhhhh"
Plyo: "Where's the speed??? Vrrrooommmmmm...wiggle the hips"!!!
The guy in the back cracks me up. What's he so amped for anyway???
I actually like Drea, but Pam has the prettiest legs I think I've seen. The chics from the yoga vid are hot as hell too.
My (least) favorite is when he says Veronica (? - the red head) has the 'skin of a 5 year old'. Kinda creepy :) 'Smooth as a baby's bottom' weird but socially acceptable. 'Skin of a 5 year old' now that is the stuff that 'to catch a predator' episodes are made of.
For the record I am NOT making any accusations, I am sure he is a standup guy but if it were me saying something like that (lord knows I have said some stupid things) I would have edited that piece out before selling it to America.
Oh, this thread is great! I'm laughing my butt off at work right now.
My favorite is in Yoga X, after you do Warrior 3 (which is impossible for me), and you're in the last upward dog, and he looks at the camera and says,
"Take in the fact that you just did that. Pretty sweet."
Not funny, but I look forward to it every time because I know the hard part is done.
Other favs:
"Ohhh... now that's cushy"
"I'm telling you if you have wrist issues just bag it. That's gonna take some oil."
The whole Pteradactyl thing
"Yoga... Belly... Seven... Time"
Oh man... these are all so great! Here are some of my favs:
Tony: Joe, what are you going to do after this set?
Joe: Uhh.... Hammer Curls!
Tony: Hammer Curls! He almost forgot, because he was afraid!
And then there's "Lets everyone go down to Frog. Frog, or Frahg, depending on what part of the country you're from."
Oh and lets not forget "If you don't have any weights, you can still do this exercise! You can use a soup can, cat, small nephew..."
Yeah, Tony, like I am going to simulate puttin my cat on a shelf over and over. Wonder if I could sue for the ER bill when Fluffykins scratches my face off? LOL....
just figured out that Dreya is a professional aerialist. I thought she was a normal person...now I don't have to be so hard on myself. it's her job of course she can look that awesome.
During kenpo, I like to think that black guy is smiling to himself the whole time because he noticed the red head girl is wearing a shirt that says "South Central LA."
Not too many red head girls down there.
This is so funny! I love it. I love the workouts but I want to punch Dreya in the face. And she looks like a bitch. Tony may swing the other way but he idolizes her. I love Sophia bc she hits Tony in the face with the bands during Legs and Back. He is so mean to her...I don't understand. He's also really mean to Phil during X Stretch. Have you noticed that everything is "the mother of all P90x workouts"???? EVERYTHING.
Also...I love the "I think I just ripped my pants."
OH! And when he says "Get Sexy with it" during the Frog? Um...gross.
In Ab Ripper he yells at the camera "Get 'Em Up!" which I anticpate every time!
Core Synergistics: during the warm-up Tony calls Adam, "Johnny-Trainer-Stretchy-Dancer-Boy"
A couple more to add:
While stretching, Tony's emphasizing the need to be straight, Tony says: "I like straight lines, you should see my closet."
During Ab Ripper X "Here's Jason, he's the king, he's the ripped king."
My favs
"the mick's making contact elbow thigh"
"I love to climb ropes"
in core synergistics warm up during the lunges right after jumping jacks, Tony says, "you got your pull variety and your straight arm variety."
then he switches and says, "innout, im doin the innout what're u doing drey?"
dreya says, "im doing the straight arm." while she is clearly doing the pull variety. then she realizes she said the wrong move and quickly switches to straight arm.
What's up guy? (pause) Girl?
During military pushups: "Hello floor!"
During Plyo pushups : "Psycho!"
"Aint no tired! Aint no tired!" - reminds me of Mr.T in Rocky III.
I love how the camera pans to Pam the Blam when Tony is monologuing at the beginning of Plyo after he says "This will make you perform better anywhere" and she smirks.
"Don't go grab a pastrami sandwich!"
Here are some more:
* when referring to in and out bicep curls, "The move that Bobby Stephenson made famous"
* "when he first started this program, he always used to say he was 'loose in the cage', well he ain't loose in the cage anymore"
* during plyo, military march, he says "you're like a board, board, but don't get bored"
* after gap jump in Plyo, he says "man, we're having fun, now on to squat jumps...fun's over!"
My personal favorite from the Shoulders and Arms (I think)
"That's two exercises done, practically over" - Tony.
I just wonder what p90x workout really is the 'mother of all workouts' since Tony says that about almost all of them.
Great thread guys/gals, too funny! keep it coming!
My favs in no particular order:
"Nobody go, I'm going to show the folks the form"
"Don't just kiiinda do it"
"We're doin' 25 a pop!"
(German accent)"German potato soup!"
"We tried to hire some hotshots...couldn't do it...people in class could." -- HUGE DIS!!
"Like a terradactyl backing out of trouble.......Caaaaaaawww"
The black guy in Kenpo is thee most irritating person on P90X. WTF ARE YOU SMILING ABOUT?!? STOP F#$%^NG SMILING!!! and it's not just the mouth, he shows teeth and everything. methinks he likes being the center of attention via camera.
"claw, pull, punch." always sounds like "carpal punch"
"what's that everybody do your best and........(no one says anything) forget the rest, yea that's right."
"Women, do what you feel. Men, Do what you feel...there's a quote in there somewhere."
"touch my hand... touch my haaaaaaand"
"this is Sophia, she's studying to be a dentist...here teeth are like chicklets..."
"Do a push up if you want to"
"Do a push up if you so desire"
and all other variations of that sentence.
"I highly suggest a Yoga block here, use your cat or dog if you don't have one"
"OOh, that's cushier"
OH THOSE BARS ARE SOO TASTY
"halfway done; party's almost over what a bummer!" --he seems to not comprehend the fundamentals of time because he is usually wrong, and in this case, it wasn't at the half-way mark, but he said it anyway. lol
"they're working hard, i know you are!!!"
"Whack it! Whack it!" and then mutters, "Not the first time I've done that."
"Wow. Wow. What is wow upside down?...MOM!"
“its almost time to workout! Oh mommy!”
"Yoga... Belly... Seven... Time"
"the mother of all P90x workouts"
"At 'em. I mean at 'em to the ceiling not Adam back there"
"Don't go grab a pastrami sandwich!"
"you're like a board, board, but don't get bored"
I like the part in Ab Ripper when he keeps telling the girl "Get your butt in the air! Get your butt in the air!". Also,
Pterydactil!!
Does anyone else think Wesley Idol, from the Kenpo X, doesn't seem to be in that great of shape and doesn't work as hard as Tony. Even though he helped put the workout together.
Audra from Yoga X is the hottest female in the P90x series. Agree with all negative comments about Dreya.
One thing I hate during Core Synergistics - they do the prison push-up series. Tony asks Adam how many he did....he replies "18". Tony is amazed. He should be. I haven't seen it in a while but Adam does like 12 or 13. WTF?
I like "Don't do this...this is wrong....anyone can do this!" during Ab Ripper X.
"11 moves...they are all 25 reps"....there are 12 moves, they are not all 25 reps.
I like during Shoulders and Arms...what's the tip of the day? (holds breath for a few seconds)....."ppppfffftt (letting air out) I forgot!" The tip is to breathe.
"Green bean?..that sounds....nasty"
How about the classic ...
"I recommend foot spray!"
Seriously, nobody noticed the comment Dreya makes in the Leg and Back workout when they do one legged lunges (with one foot on the chair)...at the end she mumbles "FUCK!"
Am I hearing this right??
The most annoying girl for me is the brunette from Back and Bicep (I think) that goes "Bring the pain! Bring it!" I just wanna punch her in the face!!!
Otherwise, I like Tony's jokes, I like his style, I like him. I think he's really HOT, I actually have a crush on him. Jeez! I see him every day, I listen to him everyday...LOL I would be very dissapointed if he was gay.
I am going to meet him in Jan at a fitness camp. If I get face to face with him, I will be able to tell if he's gay or not. :) I am pretty hot myself, he should notice me. :p
How about when he looks at his dumbells and say "I think I'm a 45 man" but in this cheesy English accent, like he's gonna shoot a smith & wesson.
WOW! I can't believe I found people that get really annoyed with Tony's corny comments, and I can't stand Dreya Weber..
she's GORGEOUS! Stop kissin her ass dude! I feel bad for Sophia, poor girl! His so mean to her..glad she smacked him with the green band!LOL! But overall it's a great workout!
Lol I'm so glad I'm not the only one...I can't stand his rythm with his countdown from 5 to 1..."FIVE FOUR.....THREE TWO...." and then he just goes? Whats even the point of the fucking countdown?
After doing those ridiculous plyo/ clap push ups Tony points and says to,
Lorraine:
"On the knees".
David:
"The clap".
Phil:
"Plyo".
Points to himself:
"PSYCHO...Its the X, OK"!
Everyone looks beat to sh#t but Tony cant be stopped!!!
I love P90X! It's a well thought out program and I'm really impressed how Tony talks through the *entire* thing. Aside from a good workout and being corny at times, it continues to motivate.
Tony is clearly enamored with Dreya, and he seems uncomfortable talking to the black guys (Tony and Adam) for some reason.
Fav moments...
- Tony finishes his reps and exclaims "Yipee Ki Yay", pauses and decides at the last second not to finish with the Die-Hard version of the quote
- jumping jacks - video editing screws me up on timing all the time so now I close my eyes
- Kenpo - always refering to Wesley Idol as having perfect form - but Wesley looks tired most of the time in the video!
- In Yoga, Tony is going through the moves while everyone has their leg in the air. He discovers this only when he gets up and looks around.
- In Yoga the knee to the forehead is three times on the right leg and only two on the left.
- Joey Boveno does the extra hammer curls in the back, bustin it, while Tony get's distracted by Dreya changing up her weights
- "I can't count but I can punch"
- at one point Tony tries to do the "from your hips to your finger tips", but accidentally starts with "finger tips" first and then drops the schtick tone in his voice.
Not sure why so many people find Dreya irritating, but Tony certainly comes across as smitten with her.
To me, the most annoying character in the videos is the blond haired guy promoting the recovery drink, vitamins, and bars. He just doesn't seem at all credible and comes across as a snake-oil salesman.
The sales approach to P90X goes over the top with statements like "even better than steroids!". I don't buy this "muscle confusion" theory, but I can't deny the benefits of doing a well thought out program every day. I do love the "Decide. Commit. Succeed." and the "Do your best and forget the rest." slogans.
Hat's off to the whole P90X gang for producing such an overall fine product.
I am so glad I found this page, it's hysterical & I wondered if I was the only one of noticed all of this stuff.
2 that annoy me sometimes..
"I don't need to check your form, I'm joining in"
&
" Jerry (camera guy) get my back all flat & fantastic"
but I do love the work outs...
Left side, left arm, 30 degree angle, hand behind the head, i'm done chattin 54, 32, and...
I really enjoy the humor, campy or otherwise...keeps things interesting.
As mentioned above, I think my favorite is when he catches himself getting too loud during YogaX.
I also like the Karen Pot Stir ballistic in Chest and Back, when one of his workout buddies says he's stirring "Okra" soup.
Great blog...very funny stuff.
Just finished my first 90 days and feel and look fantastic...goin' in for round 2!
There is NO WAY that "corn cob" Katie is a P90X grad...she is incredibly annoying and I hate seeing her kiss Tony's ass throughout the whole workout. PLEASE replace her with Sophia!!
And what's up with "karate man" Wesley's flabby body...I'm trying to get motivated...not depressed. Lay off the donuts dude!
I just lose it everytime in the push up workout when Tony SINGS, but I'm gonna do more, cus I'm a psychoooo.
And the cameraman, jerry, is a personal favorite of mine as he functions as p90x's behind the scenes star. Jer! Are you getting this?! Jerry! Get a zoom here!
This site is fantastic.
I can't believe nobody has mentioned during the warm up for Yoga X, when Tony says something about "You wanna do everything better" with a certain tone and everybody in the back cracks a smile because it was most likely a sexual reference. I always love that part.
Also, during Ab Ripper X when Tony says "EVERYone gets their hands up" and Adam just loses it for a second. I always love that cause Adam is always so damn serious.
Dominik is my favorite, by the way, the dude is absolutely crazy. Keeping up with him Plyo absolutely kills!
My wife and I are doing P90X right now, and she gets irked that I know all these lines and say them a few seconds before they are said on the video. Like others, I am glad to see I am not alone. As I read all 119 comments I was amazed to see that almost every one of my pet peeves and favorite lines had been mentioned. The only ones that are left are:
During Ab Ripper X: "Jason, I'm coming to you!"
I think the Groucho Marx line he is trying to quote is "A man is only as old as the woman he feels."
The ad for Recovery Drink (or something) comes too fast after the Yoga X routine! It's so jarring.
During Legs & Back: Dreya's suggestion that one should try pushing off the heel instead of the toe is actually a very good one, but Tony completely misses her intention to improve the form.
The thing about Tony's jokes is this: It would be very hard for him to realize IN THE MOMENT which jokes are going to get old seeing them over and over again. In order NOT to be annoying over the long run, you'd need to be a bit of a stick-in-the-mud.
I hope no one else quoted this one or I might look like as big of an ass a Tony!
Talking about his head-"Mine weighs about a thousand pounds...ain't a damn thing in it!"
just muscle, Tony, just muscle.
I think he and Dreya had some kind of fight before the Arms and Shoulders video. She keeps giving Tony these sidelong looks, refuses to bump hands whith him at one point (even though they hae a mirror in front of them so they can sync up), and towards the end when Tony talks about Dreya "Takin' it to the next level" on the side tri rise, she gives him a look that just screams, "You know what, Tony..."
It's funny the things you notice during these workouts.
Dude...this is hillarious.
Side Tri Rise: Tony says he has one more, attempts it and starts laughing and says, "I got no more!"
I think Dreya is totally annoying when she says, "theres no such thing as a sanity claus"...serious, Dreya?
What the hell does Dreya do for a living?
P90X has changed my life, but watching Wesley fatass physically changed my vision. WTF is he doing on this workout video?
Is Dreya serious when she says her shoulders says "hi..work me out". Get a life!
I love it when Tony is doing the three dimensional kick and he starts to fall, catches himself and says, "oh..I almost lost it"
If Tony is gay (and I don't know) but that would be a serious tragedy of nature. No man deserves to have that...leave it for us women!!
"That's a short uncle!"
During plyo, on the second 'break' which consists of jogging, jump rope, jumping jacks and X jumps - you only do 8 X-jumps, not 10.
While performing knee kicks (I think - or ball kicks) in Kenpo - they do 15 regular speed and 15 fast on one side, and then 20 regular and 10 fast on the other side. So irritating!
And has anyone noticed in the fitness guide book that comes with the set that almost EVERY page has some sort of spelling error on it!? Man - Tony is right!! His head weighs 600 pounds, but nothing is in it!! He didn't even have any one proof read His book!! And if he did - they must be a muscle head too! There are so many spelling mistakes that it's distracting when trying to read it!!
Other than that - **BRING IT!!**
Awesome posts by all - Love the workout and agree that Tony is a cheeseball but good at his job. Maybe its just me, but after the 900th time he says "As should you be" in reference to the kids writing down their reps on their worksheets, it gets a little annoying.
I also like:"You can grit your teeth and furrow your brow all you want....but it doesn't always work"
????
And then there's "Don't bust your face, people - let somebody else do that..."
Thanks everybody for a good laugh.
has anyone mentuiond "get up on your tippy toes. i always say tippy toes." then he goes directly into "think about touching the sky. then stop thinking"
I can't believe you all missed the odd Forrest Gump quote, I think in Yoga X. " I got shot in the buttocks. They said it was a million-dollar wound, but I haven't seen a dime." Where did that come from, Tony.
Anyway, I LOVE p90X. Absolutely transformative. And lay off Dreya. I'm guessing most of the negative comments are from jealous women. She is hot and way more fit than me.
So happy to have found this. Good stuff!
Bring it!
The one that makes me cringe the most is in Cardio-X during the yoga portion where Tony goes "GOOOOORRRRGEOUS, Bro" in his Pteradactyl voice.
Dreya annoys me too, and Tony's constant coming on to her. And I think she is a bigger bitch for the Dreya roll.
-Locker boy
-Bringing it to the people, I knew you could
-I can do whatever I want. I'm the leader of the band.
-If you need a break, take. Press pause, we'll be here balancing.
-Its not a competition
-He's my Sunday buddy
-He's pure gristle
-He only bleeds on the inside.
-You're still leading hikes?
-Its hard for a muscular guy.
-Balancing is not my thing.
-Katie: "I'm going to do corncobs"
-He hit me, he hit me.
-This is real sweat.
-He's a karate man.
-You're a substitute teacher?
-I am going to grab my weapon.
-I am going to hit my personal pause button
-I want to jump in for the burners
-Why, because she is studying to be a dentist.
-and then stop thinking
-If you start shaking, come out of it.
-If you want a little extra something something
-I am feeling rickety
-We're doing 40. We just might do a few more
How has nobody mentioned the super gay "Give me a Hey Hey, Give me a Ho Ho" with Dreya chiming in right away. Can't remember which workout but this drives me CRAZY. Either way still love Tony in a goofy uncle that kicks my ass kind of way.
I can't believe that no one has mentioned the fact that Maren in Chest & Back is a porn star. I just finished the first workout and that was the first thing I noticed. Maybe that's why Tony kept calling her Marraine. LOL.
I swear in legs and back if you listen really closely when your'e doing the calves section...towards the end of the exercise...when he says "i think i hear a bird in here" it sounds like a woman is having an orgasm and no one's mouths are moving for it to be one of them just breathing hard...anyway, check it out...
You guys...these are the funniest things I have ever read. I'm only on week 3 and I have already noticed a ton of these. I almost can't wait to do other videos that I haven't done yet to see these hilarious quotes. Plyo sounds amazing!
I think we have covered almost all of them. What about when he starts talking in that old man voice and he's like "What? I don't even know what I'm saying". That's random.
Love when he bites his fist when we're going to do wall squats.
Let's climb our legs!
I have been doing P90X since March of last year. Why does everyone hate Dreya? I think she is amazing and anyone can see how fit she is! Her form is absolutely perfect when she does weight lifting. Much more annoying to me is Katie's stupid little girl voice and Moraine with the ridiculous faces she makes when she know the camera is on her. And Vanessa has this really irritating laugh every time Tony says something to her. Of all the female participants, I'd prefer Pam and Dreya on all the videos. Most of the others insult the intelligence of women who work out.
I say things along with Tony all the time, but my very favorite is in Ab ripper when he says, "They're working hard, so I know you are". He really looks goofy on this one when he walks toward the camera saying, P.....90.....X" cause one side of his shorts is pulled up very awkwardly.
I love Tony & I love P90X!!!
Can't believe I misquoted in my previous entry. Tony's quote is "AB......Ripper......X"
I also love the other Tony in Kenpo
"Did I mention, Tony that you are a former Marine, Desert Storm, bringin' it to the people".
In kempo
...sword hammer...sword hammer....sword OWW...sword WOOOO...SWORD GETTUM...parties over
Chest, Shoulders, Triceps
Tony: Big Phil, you feeling the burn?
Phil: No
Anyone else here a fan of the music in Ab Ripper X? I particularly like how the music during Fifer Scissors and Hip Rock N Raise is synchronized with the sequences and what Tony says.
HAHAHAHAHA!!
What about tony's awesome Forest Gump impression during a butt stretch?
And the music playing during the groucho walk is my new ringtone.
X-ME
Favorite comment: I think it's Arms and Shoulders ...
"Diamonds of Gold"....What the heck is a diamond of gold?
Kenpo Favorites:
EXPLODE! EXPLODE! kick em.
This guys done...now he's toast.
clawhammer.
in da face. in da gut.
4 punches....25 times!
How about in the Plyometrics workout when Tony has a major foot in mouth moment.
"We have two legs, so let's work the other one."
Did he forget that there was a guy behind him with ONE leg! :D
Sophia is my motivation to keep going...
When doing "lawnmowers" Tony walks back to Adam and says something like, "Hey Adam, did you pull the clutch dude? Did you make sure there was enough oil in the.... ok let's go!"
Tony clearly had no idea what he was talking about.
"DRINK YOU WAWTER PEOPLE"
Love when Tony hugs Dreya in Legs & Back at the end and the Deuchebag who lives on the boat thinks he is going to do the same with Sophia and she refuses to even look at him. And stop trying to show everyone your hands after you do pull ups, no one cares if they are raw.
No chance Tony is gay
Dominic is a tool. I hate the way he turns his head side to side in warmups for Plyo, right when he is being introduced. "Getting there"
This thread is hilarious, since it's so old, this may not be relevant. But if you're having problems with p90x go to p90, it's a big difference.
I'm a few weeks into it and had to do pushups on my knees because I couldn't do one on my toes.
Now I'm doing regular pushups and when I'm done with p90, I'm going on to p90x. P90 is not as varied and not as intense, but doable if you're completely out of shape and can't do a pushup, let alone a pullup.
Hope you didn't give up.
A few of my favorites from Kenpo:
During one of the breaks: "Let's jack our... " and then he never finishes. Let's jack our what, Tony?
At one point he also says "I'm jackin' and travelin'."
During Jab/Cross, once you switch sides I always laugh at how they synchronize the music with Tony saying "Jab Cross!". I'm pretty sure they recorded him saying it once and just looped it; I call it the Jab/Cross Rap.
Killer Posts - I am in the middle of week 4 (Rest and Recovery) and am starting Phase 2 on Monday...and I have noticed all of these comments and recite them daily:
- "He's a karate man - He only bleeds on the inside!" (Obviously a reference to the movie "Trading Places" when Eddie Murphy is talking smack when he is in jail)
- In Plyo when he says "I like fancy hands for this one"
- In Ab Ripper X when he says to the ripped black dude with the dreds "...and 25...and a bonus - he's a madman..."
- "He's a rubber band man..."
- "He's one of my Sunday workout buddies..."
- At the end of Ab Ripper X after Mason Twists - "...Ugh...I felt that...haha"
- On Shoulders and Arms to the dude in the combat boots - "Do you want me to yell at you today?"
- And the same dude during introductions "...and an actor - hire him."
- "Or have only one leg..."
- "Like stabbing the corner of the room..."
- Ab Ripper X - "We're halfway through - the party's almost over -what a bummer!" - dude, no it's not
- "And 6 hang in - and 7 hang in - and 8 hang in and 9 hang in..."
And on a personal note - Audra is a goddess that should have rose petals laid at her feet...
I'm toward the end of week 2, and I love Tony, he's the man. This one's probably not all that funny, but I get a little tired of hearing "that was a georgeous thing right there, Bobby didn't let his EGO get in the way of his results". Also, is it just me, or in Yoga X when he asks you to drop your hand behind your back and then reach between your legs with the other hand and clasp them together, do you just wanna say "you gotta be f&*!in' kidding me!
I cant believe NOBODY has mentioned this little gem from the intro of Chest and back (or is it Pylo) MAN-O-MANICHEWITZ!!!!
oh Tony... u so funny. LOL
and yes, Sophias backside is PREFECT.
I on my second stint of P90X as I had did it before and then let myself get back briefly out of shape, but I'm committed again and am on week two now.
"My best is Audra on the Ab Ripper X during the Mason Twist for about 5 or so seconds when they are between 40 and 50 she has the most lushes breast and the camera is right on her and I use that as inspiration to keep going. She's hot to me. I'd like to find out more about her. I also agree Sophia is the best of them all.
"Staballic", I'm making stuff up"
Tony is corny but he is fun to work with because he makes you not feel bad for not keeping up with them.
What about the random "I own a boat" WTF
hahaha! love this blog and i love p90x.
In legs and back, i dont know why, but the guy next to sophia annoys me. He does like "ahhh" "ouuhhh" "yeaaaah" every time. So much, that i get distracted when doing my reps.. i have to do my work out in Music because of him. At one point Tony says to him : " Whats up Noise-Maker?"
Also, in Shoulders and Arms, during the warm up of the triceps, Tony says "Arms up!" and the guy with the backwards hat lifts his arms up, and wiggles it.. like saying " aaaaand thennnnn..". I crack up a that part.
Also i think in Core Synergistic.. Adam loses his balance and Tony says, "Adam?, Did you tumble?" and Adam says loudly "I TUMBLED" I dont know why but i laugh everytime.
Also in shoulder and arms, its funny when Tony says to dreya "whats the tip of the day?" and Dreya inhales and says "do not hold your breath." and makes a weird face like shes taking a dump or something..
Is it me.. or in Chest and back (i think), Scotty is always pushing Bobby.. but Scotty is using the red band and bobby is using heavy weight.. and near the end tony says to Scotty something like You dont wanna be weak.. And then Scotty says "like Bobby?" tony says "all soft and stuff" then scotty feels kinda bad goes to bobby saying " Where is he? Whereis he?" and bobby's like Dont *** touch me.. lol
Love p90x. Bring The Pain.. uhh i mean, Bring It.. (like Katie)
-Erik (who owns a boat) in Legs & Back - "Yabba Dabba Do"
-Tony in Legs & Back - Does Belgain Accent and asks Erik "Is that close dude?" Erik shakes his head "No" and then says "Yeah"
-Tony says "Ready?" about 7 times at the beginning of PlyoX. I usually yell at the TV "Yeah, I'm frickin ready Tony, you don't have to say it 7 times!"
-Core Synergistics Tony talks about Pam being a PI and says She was investigating guys with hand guns and now they're being chased by them.
-"We all want to be Daniel Hassessssssss, but we can't be"
I don't get the Dreya hate. Yeah, she sucks up to Tony, but she has the best form out of anyone in the program including Tony. She's fit like nobody's Bi'niss and they seem to be good friends. Dreya is married anyway, so I don't really see the Dreya/Tony angle unless she wasn't married at the time.
And the Sophia stuff, I don't see where Tony is being mean to her. When they're doing squats, she is indeed bending over too far. Her chest is touching her knees, which is not a proper squat. Plus, she hardly lifts any weight.
I have done p90x about 4 times through now over the past couple years. I have grown to love the cheesy lines and I still laugh. Yeah, they sort of get tiring, but I think i've heard them so many times it just doesn't even phase me anymore.
It's a good workout/system, so until I find something better, i'll still be doing p90x.
During Ab Ripper, Tony walks from the back of the room macho, robot-like saying Ab....Ripper....X. Cracks me up every time. And at the beginning of Mason twists..."We're doing 40...maybe a little extra" then raises a brow and pokes out his tongue...kinda weird. Chest/back- I got 5 more in my brain, can my body match my brain.
"ok, boys and girls"
Face it, we all like Tony. He's cheesy, but he's positive. I HATE those "EXTREME" videos with some bald guy with huge steroid muscles screaming at you saying "come on!".
Tony is welcome comic relief when you are in pain and struggling through the workouts.
People don't seem to know much about the folks in the videos.
Wesley is a fat ass...he's also a black belt in Karate, has a ridiculously fast kick and he basically schooled Tony in the entire Kenpo video. Its Wesley's workout. Just watch "the making of P90X" and you will see Wesley showing Tony how to do the karate moves.
Its too bad Tony is gay, he should have hooked up with Debbie Siebers, she's so fine it hurts.
He is EXACTLY like Michael Scott. Can't you picture him saying "whats the difference between a male salesman and a female salesman...
boobs"
Kenpo X:
- Towards the end, the camera suddenly gives us a close up of the chick's sweaty face. She's not unattractive, but hey, whoa, that's close!
- While Tony's introducing the vertical punches, check out the back chat: "Oh my favourite!" (girl), "C'mon!" (dude)
I love this message board. What about in Yoga when he says during Reverse Warrior "Now you get to straighten it, that should be a glorious moment everyone should say 'AH, Ah!" I think there should be a t-shirt made with a list of the top 10 tony horton quotes. I would buy that.
Tony dates Shawna, the girl in the back in the YogaX video ..... "this is Shawna, my good buddy"
Seen pictures of her, looks like she had an enhancement since the YogaX dvd was filmed - she is flexible, and very beautiful
legs/back disc. There is a camera man he is soaked with sweat, he is just standing there taping the fan in the corner of the room.
p.s. i hate d-weber too.
Man these are hilarious. I've done four rounds of P90X, a round of Power 90, a round of the Master's Series, and about half of the One on One videos, so I've listened to Tony Horton every damn day for about 3 years straight now. I personally like the guy. I don't pay any attention to the lines everybody's cited above any more or else I'd lose my mind, but the hilarious stuff in this thread are the comments about the background folks.
Tony the "Stud of the World" black guy in Kenpo and his clawing face. What is that? Dreya is incredibly annoying (Tony is good friends with her husband, so I seriously doubt they have a thing going on). I get a weird sense of enjoyment when she screws up in the warmup for Shoulders and Arms and has this look on her face like "now I look like an idiot", not long after her snarky "Do NOT hold your breath" reply.
Flabby Wesley Idol in Kenpo.
I've done Legs and Back probably 50 times and every time I notice the obvious tension in the room. Sophia is hot as hell and Tony acts like she turned him down at some point, especially when he gets on her ass about how many band pull-ups she's doing. Dreya's "bird orgasm" gets old after you've done a couple rounds of this thing. Eric needs a haircut and to quit cheating on toe roll iso lunge. Plus, it's obvious he's making the move on Sophia and during the cool down she shoots him a look like "no damn way are you hugging me". Hilarious.
Corn Cob Katie - she looks a little flabby and kind of gets on my nerves sucking up the whole time. Plus, don't act like some bad ass doing corn cobs when you've got your foot on the chair. Really annoying. Bobby's hatred for Scotty is fun to watch, though.
This whole thread has been a revelation to me - glad to see I'm not the only person who notices this stuff daily.
Hahahaha Oh my gosh this is absolutely hilarious. Thank y'all all for making me laugh, because everything I've ever thought during the videos, y'all have said. I love it.
Ok it kind of creeps me out when Tony sounds like he's having some sort of sexual gratification during the workouts. I'm not sure which one it is, and I think it's Yoga X. But he goes "uuuhhh mommy" in a faint whisper. Creepy!! And he goes "yummy yummy" too. Ew! That voice is so NOT yummy!
"They're workin hard, so I know you are!" Ughhhh drives me crazy every time!
How about when he shoves his bicep right up into the camera during Shoulders and Arms and goes "BAM!" when he flexes? Arrogant much?
I love how he always goes through and asks everyone how many they're going to do, or how much weight they're using. Notice that he always feels the need to outdo them by using the most weight and doing more reps. He comes off as a show off quite often.
"HIT MY HAND! HIT MY HAND!" or better yet, "don't HIT MY HAND!"
Hahaha his pterodactyl noises. Yes, every single time, he feels the need to make them.
Whoever said that they have to think of him as Michael Scott from The Office -- oh my gosh I died laughing. You hit the nail on the head!
Y'all really think he was getting busy with Dreya? I always got gay vibes.... :/
At the end of Yoga, when he's like "I'm going to be quiet for an entire minute," I'm like "Oh thank God!! Finally!"
"Don't go get a Krispy Kreme!"
When we do the stretch where we practically straddle the floor with knees bent at a 90 degree angles, anyone ever notice when he goes up to the girl and is like "come on back a little" and he's just totally focused on her ass?
I have the biggest crush on Daniel Haas.
These are great!! Audra from Yoga X is absolutely gorgeous.
Here are some of my favorites:
chest/back: "21, what a lucky number." "I love odd numbers, I'm a fan." "German Potato soup"
Plyo: "Tony's grabbing his knees" The superstar in the back annoys me for some reason.
Arms/Shoulders: "We all wanted to be Daniel Hass"
Yoga: Tony thinks they are all in runners pose, but they still have their legs in the air. Audra!!
Legs/Back: The guy who lives on a boat goes toward Sophia when Tony and Dreya hug, and she ignores him. The bird sound.
Chest/Shoulder/Triceps: "Do you like my shirt?" Phil seems to get annoyed by Tony through out the video.
Back/Biceps: Katie is so annoying. I cannot stand herm and she doesn't even look like she is in shape.
I like p90x a lot, and I think Tony is funny. Dreya isn't too bad now days, but I used to find her annoying.
So funny. I think this is a pretty old thread, but my husband and I fairly new to P90X so these are all fresh to me. We yell back at the videos and crack up as we work out. We yell "jazz hands" at the scrape-the-wall stretch. When he tells Dreya, "bring your ears closer to your arms" I always say, "you mean arms closer to your ears". "He's a substitute teacher"--"in other words, unemployed..." "What's so special about your shoes." and many more complete with cursing at how worn out we are. It would be fun to do this workout in a group with everyone responding to their favorite lines, "Rocky Horror" style.
It always cracks me up when he says "locker boy".
It's a great workout and I really like Tony. He's proud of his fitness, as he should be, but doesn't seem to take himself too seriously.
Ab Ripper X
"SCIZZZZ-OOOR.....Get it??"
"ABBB RIPPER XXXXXX"
As Big Tony struts toward the camera
in Yoga X Tony says something like "clear your mind...you're going to be uncomfortable." Like, yeah, thanks for helping me focus dude.
Just finished phase 1, on to phase 2 and loving every minute of P90x!
Just read all the comments.
So True, but can't believe i did not see:
BOOTY!
How about when doing Yoga, "Raise your left TAIL (I mean leg) . . . .
These are great! My husband and I just started the P90x and I laugh every time we work out. I can imagine, though, after a while it will start to wear thin. I am glad the discs have the option to play the routines without commentary.
"Like a pterodactyl backing out of trouble." -tony Horton
My husband and I are in week 4. This is a great workout program. We had studied taekwondo for a while, and achieved first-degree black belt, so we really enjoy the Kenpo. Wesley looks like a lot of martial arts people, they're not muscular and tight, they're just strong and tough.
Looking forward to finishing this; I expect we'll be doing it again.
When Dreya and Tony hug after a very sweaty working out...the other guy goes to hug Sophia...she gives him a BIG smile and keeps stretching...like "IM NOT HUGGING YOU!!!" Its to funny!
I also love it ...I think it Kenpo, Tony is counting kicks and towards the end his voice cracks like he is going through puberty all over again!
And on Tony miscounting...he goes by the clock so sometimes the reps are off...He watches the seconds.
In kenpo...the red head...she doesnt do HORSE STANCE at all....tony constantly has to say "GET LOW IN THE HORSE STANCE!" when he walks by her but never directs it to her.
My wife and I are just passing phase II. It looks like you missed a pretty good one. I love to yell "get your butt in the air!" like Tony all over Audra.
Personally, I don't mind Dreya at all! Sure, she is a little anoying but her looks forgive all of that.
"I got shot....in the buttocks!"
haha! this is to funny!! i love this!
Mine is on Ab ripper x
"I hate it! but i love it!"
Its so annoying! and look closely he is cockeyed when he says it!!
I do my workouts without his voice now!! it gets annoying after the second week
Tony is cheesy, upbeat and terrific.
I look forward to his gags...they get me through the workout!
"THAT'S where the money is!!!
This thread is hysterial!!
Tony seems to me what Jim Carrey would be like if he was told he had to do a serious workout video. His hair, his quick side head movements to emphesize his words- especially in Ab Ripper X. Then when he marches towards the camera "Ab Ripper X." I bet someone could put together a good you tube comparing the two!
Love doing frog stretch and he does the "Get Sexy with it people!"
Everybody say it with me, "WOW". And what is Wow upside down? MOM
I love P90x and think it's fantastic.
That said, it's so annoying how Tony clearly feels self-conscious about the inclusion of Yoga. He pumps it up a little too much at times to hide some clear insecurity about it:
"And talk about core work! Whoa man!"
"It's not some cult or religion, it's just Ohms..."
"A crucial and important part of P90x"
And it's so corny when he says: "Don't think about your feet on the ground, think about your hands in the sky...and then stop thinking!" Yes Yoda!
YogaX:
"I'm takin' a break, I can do whatever I want because I'm the leader....but when I'm back, I'm back with a VENGEANCE!"
From YogaX, where everyone is doing these insane leg and arm lifts on their backs, Tony walks around trying to get people to go higher, repeating "hit my hands" over and over again, but in a progressively more and more obnoxious fashion, like "hit my hands. Hit my HANDS. Daniel hit my HAAAANDS. HIT MY HAAAAAAAAANDS." God do I ever want to kill him during that bit.
He jumps out of the room but I can't stand Dominic in Plyo. I know Tony said your feet could be close together or far apart, but when he does the 360 degree jumps (instead of the 180s) with his feet so close together he looks like a complete fairy. His fairy-ness continues with his basketball jump shots at the end. I find myself wishing that Tony would foul him hard and taunt him while he's on the ground.
This blog is hilarious! I didn't have time to read all of the comments, but it's cool to see I'm not the only one that laughs at the corny lines. When I first bought P90X, I thought it was going to be all serious, but was sort of relieved when I found out that it wasn't. Tony reminds me of my best friend who is also into fitness. Corny and borderline irritating, but highly motivating.
"Don't go off and get yourself a pastrami sandwich" ALWAYS gets me rolling for whatever reason.
"What's up, towel boy? Are you toweling off already?"
In the cardio intro "It's exxxellent" Sounds forced.
I don't like the karate guy. He's flabby. I don't want to see a flabby guy in a fitness video.
Pam's my favorite. For whatever reason, she is so hot in the Ply video. Dreya's annoying, but I don't hate her like some on here do.
Joel Horton - Chicago vs. Detroit Sept. 10, 1967
It's the only Horton I see on the list
cbssports.com/mlb/history/lists/nohitters_al
I cant believe no one has mentioned my favorite Tony moment.Cant remember which DVD it is, but he got into that weird high pitch pterodactyl voice and says "Uh huh, mmmyeah!" kind of low and under his breath as if his mind was just a step behind his mouth in realizing how gay he was sounding.
I like when he's doing those jumps over the creek things, and he says 'jump over the guy you just beat up'. Really Tony? You are 3 apples tall. The man is ripped but he is like a 'roided out Keebler elf.
Chest and Back around 23 minutes left: "Nice job ... so far..."3 times. I could kill him for that. ;0)
I am in week three of P90X, i love it but I hate it. I like Tony and I hate him.
some of his more memorable lines:
"Now that's a short uncle"
"Donny and Jason On It"
I stumbled upon this blog yesterday while trying to get info on the work out guide.
I've jsut begun my 5th week of the p90x. While doing my workout last night, I couldn't help but notice all the points mentioned above even more so than usual.
I personally don't mind Tony's comments, Dreya is a bit of a show off, but I love her abs.. I find this whole system really motivating and I find I'm often anticiapating Tony's dialouge.. its a great laugh..
bring it boys & girls!
Dominic, aka "towel boy", "locust" or "leapy boy" in plyo needs to be put down. No one gives a damn if you can jump out of the gym on the leap frog squat, especially when you're basically standing straight up!
Also, Jason in Cardio X needs his ass kicked when he's doing what Tony calls running like the "crazy neandrathal guy".
We're going to burn off some goo today.Get rid of the goop!
Tony's great. Great program.
sword hammer, OWWW. sword hammer, WOOO. sword hammer, GET EM
how many reps?
15
u how many reps?
what he say?
15
SIXTEEN
OOOOHHHH
So funny... Pam the Blam, Perfect Pam.. he has a nickname for everyone. C'mon Frog Boy!!!
Get your butt in the air! Get your butt in the air!
I find myself saying his lines before he does... lol. Love the guy.
P90X is great! Tony's comments may be corny, but they keep it interesting. I like that the DVDs actually have strong women in them... strong women rock!
Not sure why so many people hate Dreya Webber but it is awful brave (or just stupid) to put it in writing. I'm guessing she could totally kick all your asses if she wanted to. :):)
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