Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Hawk in the Apartment

I tend to get really bored while driving. So, I end up entertaining myself on my way to work in the morning. My newest project is setting up and decorating my apartment. So, I've spent the last few days brainstorming creative ways to make my apartment feel like home, yet still be presentable for guests.

In my early morning, just waking up haze, an idea popped into my head. I would love to have a recording of Hawk Harrelson saying "He Gone!" every time somebody leaves my apartment. "Alright man, see ya later". "HE GONE!"

So I went with the theme for a few minutes. And it clicked. Why not have Hawk recordings all over the apartment? Just about everything he says is appropriate in all aspects of life. If you stretch your imagination. Think about it for a second before reading on.

"Before we show you our picks to click for tonight you at home select yours"

Here's what I've come up with so far:

The Bathroom (the toilet specifically) -
  • "He's got 2 ducks on the pond"
  • "There's a Hang Wif 'Em"
  • "Zone him in, reel him in, and light him up"
  • "Cinch it up and hunker down"
  • When things aren't coming out right - "C'mon. Ball four, base hit"
  • and when you're done, "GAS! He gone!"

On the Computer -

  • "I LOVE email"

In the kitchen -

  • "Can of corn"

On Poker Night

  • "Rack Em Up!"
  • When you catch a bad beat - "Mercy!"

The Bedroom (in case I ever find myself a girlfriend) -

  • On the good nights - "Get up... Stretch... He looks up... You can put it on the booooaaard... YES!"
  • On the bad nights - "You can cancel the postgame show".
  • Or worse, "Right size, wrong shape"

Other ideas? "Duck snort"? "A big crooked number on the board"? "Sit back, relax and strap it down"? "Souvenir, right side"? "I love it when you analyze"? "Pick to click"?


Anonymous said...

Just so you know Nachoman, if you use sound bites of Hawk throughout your entire apartment, that's a great way to guarantee that I will never, ever visit you.
-Cubs Loving Cousin Lisa

www.nachosrule.com said...

Is that a threat or a promise? :)

Don't worry, Cousin Lisa. I'll have an alternative setting for you. It'll go something like this - "Up next, Andres Gallaraga. Spelled backwards that's Agarallag."

Anonymous said...

What about when you're sitting on the couch? Hawk can say "Grab some bench".

Anonymous said...

Did you record these sayings? Can you post them? I'd love "I love email".