Saturday, April 12, 2008

4/12/08 The Giraffe

I accidentally turned on some Ironman Triathlon show on NBC this afternoon. While I consider my general musical tastes somewhat atypical, the background music during the trialthlon made me feel right at home. I mean, we're talking Radiohead's "Weird Fishes", Tool's "The Grudge", some Smashing Pumpkins and Audioslave... I guess what I'm saying is that someone, somewhere, doing audio editing at NBC, would probably be cool to hang out with.
I normally don't talk too personally here. Or anywhere for that matter. But I'm going to sort of open up a bit. Late last week I had a mini freak out. It was mostly based on my recent decisions and new overall life path (Most of you know what this means - sorry for being semi cryptic, but I'm a little online protective). Basically, it became very, very clear to me that I don't think or learn like just about anyone I know. When I read articles, I focus on (what most would consider) random, off-topic aspects. When I organize work plans and strategies, my mental organization automatically builds in ease and flexibility that isn't even comprehensive to me. These all came to a head on Thursday night. At that very moment, I felt an overwhelming sense of loneliness. Normally I deal with being a bit off center and chalk it up to some sort of "unique" trait... You know, the normal things we do to help us sleep at night. Like we blame others for being idiots, rather than taking a more introspective look. But that night last week, I couldn't quite shake the lonely feeling. I felt as if the way in which I perceive the world around me is very narrow and closed minded. The discomfort sunk in kind of deep - I figured a good night's sleep was in order.
That night I had a bunch of crazy dreams. The one I remembered most vividly involved a giraffe. It should come as no surprise that I don't think about zoo animals on any sort of regular basis, nor can I ever remember dreaming about them. I distinctly remember guiding this giraffe back to the party it belonged to (Don't ask about the party details - they don't seem real important... or do they?) I led the giraffe through doors, some of them very low requiring some super giraffe ducking.
The next day I looked up the dream meaning. As some of you know, I've been borderline obsessive about dreams since I was a little kid. According to one dream symbol website:

The ability to see different perspectives, to see things differently than others, or to see both sides of an issue. The ability to easily reach beyond what others can see or do. Dreaming of this animal can represent:
Having too much of one of these qualities, or that you could benefit by being less this way
Not having enough of one of these qualities, or that you could benefit by being more like this
Someone or something in your real life with whom you associate one of these qualities (an event, situation, threat, etc.)
For more clues, pay attention to what the animal was doing or any particular characteristic that stood out.
Coincidence or not, I was floored by the right-on-ed-ness of the meaning.
Speaking of dreams, Mike sent a fantastic poem called A Dream Deferred. Instead of a video today, I'll leave you something a bit more... well... poetic...
A Dream Deferred
by Langston Hughes

What happens to a dream deferred?
Does it dry up like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore-- And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet?
Maybe it just sags like a heavy load.
Or does it explode?

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