11/16/05 No Thanks. I Already Have Enough Imaginary Friends.

I woke up this morning (as I tend to do every morning) and turned on my computer. These ten minutes online are my only chance to check personal email, IM any friends and family members and do anything fun before I go to firewall purgatory known as my job. This morning as my AOL Instant Messenger was loading up (stop me if you know where this is going) I received a message from AOL stating that they've added two robot IM buddies for me. Why do I need 2 robot friends? I could've added them a long time ago. I chose not to. What are you up to AOL?

I'm giving her all she's got Capt'n.

I've had this business idea for a couple of years. Just about everybody I've shared it with says it's pretty stupid. Except for Cousin Kevin - He always likes to brainstorm new business ideas. The idea was a place where you could relieve stress by hitting and breaking stuff. I wanted to call the place "Serenity Now". I thought it would do well in New York or Chicago near the financial institutions. Without going into details, it was hard to figure out a way to make the place profitable over a long period of time. Well. The Chinese stole my idea. "Students have flocked to the room since it opened eight days ago and hundreds more have booked in, presumably in anticipation of upcoming bouts of fury"

116 of the 200 most profitable law firms have a blue logo.

More proof that the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree - Jong Il's 24-year-old heir Kim Jong Chol has presented an ingenious idea to combat terrorism. "I'd destroy all terrorists with the Hollywood star Jean-Claude Van Damme."

Admittedly I don't keep up with pop culture. I don't watch MTV. Nor do I really care that Jennifer Aniston was named GQ's man of the year. Probably my least favorite part of living in California is the obsession with celebrities and fashion and all of that inane crap. This is why I had no idea that R. Kelly is doing this "Trapped in the Closet" saga. On the radio this morning I heard some song that ends Chapter 9 of this saga. He sings about approaching the cabinet. Looking at the cabinet. Walking toward the cabinet. Opening the cabinet. He says "cabinet" a lot in a 10 second span. And it turns out that there's a midget in the cabinet. And this midget was boning someone's wife, I think. All I know is that I was laughing pretty hard at the insanity of whatever was going on. I'm actually curious what led up to this midget in the cabinet scene. Damnit, now I'm gonna have to buy the DVD.