Tuesday, December 04, 2007

12/4/07 Two Burgers, One Cup

Well kids, things are going to be a little slow moving on this site for a while. But, I felt bad that I left you with the Two Girls, One Cup post for the week. So, here I am finally with some Internet access at a Panera. (Which, if you were unaware, always has free wi-fi. It's great.) I ordered a soft drink and smuggled in some In-N-Out Burger. That's about as non-law abiding as I get these days. Both by choice and because I'm fearful (more on that in a second). But I still felt like a criminal until I finished the burger. Now I just feel like a cheapskate.


Speaking of law abiding, have you started a new job recently? Do you realize the background checks they make you go through these days? It's insane and infuriating. In the past two weeks, I've gone through a criminal history check and a credit history check. My previous 2 jobs also required a drug test. One recent place I interviewed (where I ultimately wasn't offered the job) was going to require a hair follicle drug test. They take something like 40 hairs off the crown of your head and it supposedly can tell everything you've ingested for the previous 3 months. Here's the part that bothers me the most - We live in a country where the leaders outwardly promote religion, Jesus and forgiveness. Yet, these background checks basically say quite the contrary... If you mess up, you're going to have quite a tough time making a living and supporting yourself and your family.

On my first day of work, I had to give my fingerprints (every finger) six times. SIX! I asked what would be done with them and if they'd be destroyed after my employment. (At this point I can care less if I appear paranoid.) Nobody knew. All they knew was that I had to give the prints if I wanted to work. Oh, and that the prints were going to the FBI for a more in-depth security check. The FBI?! They'll now be able to link my social security number to my fingerprints to my car to my driver's license number to my... well... everything. That is, if they didn't have a file already. It's just more complete now. Great. Thanks. It's wonderful being treated like a criminal. I don't know what bothers me more - The fact that I have to do these things or the fact that nobody really seems to understand the privacy and legal implications and that they're not half as pissed as I am.


Now that I'm done with my thing - Some random facts:

The number of cells in the human body is around 50 trillion (estimates range from 10 - 100 trillion.) There are 20 times more bacteria in the human body than cells. And you thought 2 girls 1 cup was gross.

Oh, and for all of you that got mad at me after you watched 2 girls 1 cup. Shame on you. Shame on you for not listening to me. And for those of you still curious - Go to the last video of the post before this one. The guy explains it enough so that you'll know why.

Studies show that 10 minutes of daily boob staring prolongs a man's life by 5 years. I'm gonna live to be 150.


From Mike who proclaims Anathallo as The Greatest Band Ever.


This one's from the future science teacher in me who will hopefully understand what this is about someday.

Like I said, posts are going to be thin for a while. But please don't forget about me. I'll be back periodically.

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