St. Elsewhere on DVD

I was contacted by Nikki of M80im.com and Fox, asking us to promote the release of St. Elsewhere on DVD. Although I was pretty young at the time, I still remember lots of talk about St. Elsewhere, leading up to a much anticipated conclusion.

Since we're all about peace and love here at NachosRule, I urge you to check it out. Perhaps it'll make for a real nice stocking stuffer.

11/30/06 O'er the Home of the Land

The Star-Spangled Banner has 4 verses. Why did I look this up? Because I heard the song on TV and I started thinking to myself, "On the shore dimly seen, through the mists of the deep". I gave myself a double take (since, as usual, I was alone) wondering where in the hell those words came from. How did I know the words to the 2nd verse? There was a song book in my house as a kid with all sorts of traditional American songs. (The same book had the tune to "Glory, Glory Hallelelujah", but the words were "John Brown's body lies amouldrin' in the grave". I still don't know what "amouldrin" means, but I think it's a part of history that most people would like to forget.) Anyways, all of the star spangled verses were in this book. On a rainy day, I started memorizing all of the words. Twenty something years later, they're still stuck in my head. I'm convinced that, with all of the useless childhood knowledge lingering upstairs, if I started learning chemistry and biology as an infant, I might have cured cancer by now. Instead, I just reference tv shows and songs in everyday conversation.

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One of my favorite running subplots in The Family Guy - How they all treat the daughter like crap. And nobody cares.

11/28/06 Anti-Doping Measures

It's about time that sports are testing the competitors for drugs and doping. It's about damn time. Now we'll finally find out who is playing by the rules and... what's that you say? They're testing chess players? Oh. Forget I said anything.

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What's the history of your first name?

Nacho: Pet form of Ignacio.
Ignacio: Spanish form of IGNATIUS
Ignatius: From the Roman family name Egnatius, which was possibly derived from Latin ignis "fire". This was the name of several early saints, including the third bishop of Antioch who was thrown to wild beasts by emperor Trajan, and by Saint Ignatius Loyola, founder of the Jesuits.

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Who wants to look like an idiot on national TV?

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Behind the Music - The Muppets.

11/27/06 What a Twist

It's no secret that flying is one of my least favorite things to do. Nothing about the experience is pleasant. My new favorite thing to complain about is the dehydration. But that's a bitch session for another day. Today, I intentionally chose the seat in the furthest back corner. It's one of the last seats chosen. Which gives you the slight chance that nobody will be sitting next to you. I'm risking my secret here, but it also means that nobody will be behind you, including crying and kicking kids.

Now for the question - What could possibly be worse than a cross country flight? Answer - A cross country flight where the in-flight movie is "Lady in the Water". Now, let's rewind to the first 10 minutes in the plane. Recently while flying, I've tried to say hello to my plane neighbors as they sit down. Not only because we're going to be sharing air and space for the next 4 hours. But there's something really awkward about ignoring your elbow buddy, exchanging glances every time one of you moves. So, my middle seat neighbor to my left makes some small talk for a few minutes. We get as far as talking about where we went for Thanksgiving, and opening the airline magazine (on a side note, the flight attendants were psyched that the new "Hemispheres" just came out) to check the in-flight entertainment. And, we've already established that the movie was probably the worst received movie of the year.

At this point, the air is flowing through the cabin and I start to feel sleepy and tranquil (Is anyone else convinced that they pump some sort of sedative throughout the cabin right before takeoff?) And I make a typical lame joke along the lines of "What's the only thing worse than being stuck in the back of a plane for 4 hours? Being stuck in the back of a plane watching "Lady in the Water". (Just to clarify, I failed to mention that my neighbor is somewhere around my age, female, and pretty cute. And possibly lives near me if she's flying to the same destination). So, at this point, I put on my music, do my sudoku and try to convince myself that I'm not completely socially retarded. It got so bad that I thought to myself, "Hmm. If I do this sudoku puzzle really fast, maybe she'll notice and be really impressed." Chicks dig sudoku, right? C'mon - at least humor me for the sake of the story.

Twenty minutes or so go by. I get an elbow to the arm. After I realize that it was intentional, I look up. She motions to the movie and asks, "Are you gonna watch it?". I think to myself, "Didn't we just talk about how bad it's supposed to be?" She says, "We can talk about how bad it is afterwards." So, I pose a follow up question to you. What's worse than a cross country flight where the in-flight movie is "Lady in the Water"? Answer - Deciding to watch "Lady in the Water" because the cute girl next to you subtly persuades you to.

There's really not a whole lot else to the story. The movie blew, as expected. I did about 47 sudoku puzzles. My ass bone hurts. And I'm back home safe.

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On a completely different topic - The top 100 TV Land catchphrases.

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One of the "games" I played over Thanksgiving turned into a "self improvement" exercise. Somehow I got into a conversation about those things that we say we're going to learn and we never do. So, in a group of friends that I tend to see every Thanksgiving, we all decided on something that we would learn to do over the next year and we would hold each other accountable. Since I've already failed to learn to juggle 5 balls, I decided on something a bit easier. I want to learn to play the bagpipes. Here is where you come in. I don't know where to buy bagpipes. Nor do I know much about them. Any help here? (I also decided to learn to drive stick shift - so if you have a beater car you don't mind me practicing on... you know...)

11/26/06 Wow

Whenever I don't post for a while, I feel like it's my responsibility to give you some sort of "wow" link. There's nothing special. I had something good. But after watching Junior Seau's arm dangle like he had an extra joint between the elbow and wrist, I threw up behind the couch and, somewhere in the vomitous mix, I lost whatever "wow" post was brewing in my head all week. I'll have to ask my dog what it is, since he decided to help clean up.

Instead, here's a math trick. Which might be cool to use if you're a junior high math teacher.

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Our good friends at Fortener Design send a couple of links. First - A quiz about your driving habits. Second - MacGuyver Rocks.

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Keep coming back. I'm just about back on a regular schedule and will be posting lots more soon.

11/24/06 Peace, Love and Nachos

Just sending you some Thanksgiving wishes. I trust that wherever you are and whomever you're with today, you're happy, healthy and at peace.

Right as I was about to submit this, I thought of a Thanksgiving twist. Instead of listing the things we're thankful for (I never particularly liked doing that), let's try something else instead. You job this long weekend (and mine too) is to do some extra good deeds, give a few extra hugs and do all those little things that you don't necessarily want to do. That way somebody else will be thankful for having you in their life. This year, let's be the reason somebody else is thankful.

11/18/06 Ms. Dewey

I'm back online. At least for a day.

The latest and greatest in search engine technology combines the Burger King "Have it your way" chicken with, well, a search engine. Ask Ms. Dewey. Some suggested searches are "george w. bush", "lord of the rings", "murder", "yo mama", "storm". Thanks to Google Nicki for the link.

Google Nicki also sends How Crunk are You? It errored out when I tried it. Probably because I failed this test worse than my first computer science class in college.

More later. Maybe.

11/13/06 Un-Busted Tees

This link has been touted as the "must read" link of the year. And I would agree. Now you can play air guitar... AND... hear the song you're playing. (Thanks, Mike).

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Want to know where all of the convicted criminals live in your area? Thought so. (Thanks to my mom for the link).

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Dude, I'm telling you. Put your money on Lisa Murkowski S.176. She is SO gonna make the bill into a law. Ah, there's nothing like a fun game of Fantasy Congress.

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Once again, I'll be going dark for a while. At minimum, for the remainder of the week. (Although I'm considering writing for a few days out in the future since most of you check this page only a few times a week and wouldn't really notice). But I tell you this so you won't read about the guy who got shot in his car in Southern California, only to veer across 6 lanes of traffic and end up in a ditch. Only we find out that it's not a sniper and the dude killed himself. Or so say the police. Oh, and it happened 2 blocks from where I live. That wasn't me. I'm fine. So far.

11/12/06 Magneto

I don't have a whole lot to write about today. So, I present a new game for your Monday Morning. Magneto. I put in the Contra code and got to level 23 before quitting. (Just put in the infinite life option.)

Oh, and I just upgraded to the newest version of Blogger. I'm not quite sure what's going to change. But just a heads up. Just in case something seems off.

11/10/06 Burritos

Burritos are not sandwiches. Or so says the law.

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Remember how I said that the face of NachosRule.com would be updated? Well, it finally is. It's not quite 2006 yet. But it's better than the 1998 model we had before. One of these days we'll stop going used and splurge for the current year model. Thanks again to Fortener Design for the much needed facelift - You guys RULE!

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The Easy Bake Oven enters the toy hall of fame. Wait, I think my dad sent this to me. I never had one of those as a kid, right? Cuz I do distinctly remember the Snoopy Sno-Cone machine (which... if I do say so myself... was AWESOME).

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Someone else wrote about the whole Taye Diggs / Groundhog Day thing. And it was The Sports Guy. Which gives me an excuse to post his article. It's a fantastic article otherwise, too. But every so often he and I will touch on the same idea and I get little tinglies running up and down my spine when it does.

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The $10,000 Rock Paper Scissors World Championships are tomorrow. As if you really needed a reminder.

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The legend lives on from the Chippewa on down of the big lake they called "Gitche Gumee."
The lake, it is said, never gives up her deadwhen the skies of November turn gloomy.
With a load of iron ore twenty-six thousand tons morethan the Edmund Fitzgerald weighed empty, that good ship and true was a bone to be chewed when the "Gales of November" came early.

The ship was the pride of the American sidecoming back from some mill in Wisconsin.
As the big freighters go, it was bigger than mostwith a crew and good captain well seasoned, concluding some terms with a couple of steel firmswhen they left fully loaded for Cleveland.
And later that night when the ship's bell rang,could it be the north wind they'd been feelin'?

The wind in the wires made a tattle-tale soundand a wave broke over the railing.
And ev'ry man knew, as the captain did too'twas the witch of November come stealin'.
The dawn came late and the breakfast had to waitwhen the Gales of November came slashin'.
When afternoon came it was freezin' rainin the face of a hurricane west wind.
When suppertime came the old cook came on deck sayin'.
"Fellas, it's too rough t'feed ya."
At seven P.M. a main hatchway caved in; he said,"Fellas, it's bin good t'know ya!"

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Good luck getting that song out of your head. Have a good day :)

11/9/06 Will It Blend?

The Nacho Expert came out of hibernation and sent me some great videos - Will It Blend? It's like the next level of David Letterman's "Will it float?". They try and blend marbles and Coke cans and all sorts of other stuff.

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Ok, I found a way to make the whole "Trapped in the Closet" parody make sense for those of you who aren't familiar with it.

Step One: The original by R. Kelly. This is only chapter one of twelve. It will suffice for our purposes. Or, if you're an idiot like me, you'll sit and watch all twelve. It's funny and stupid and brilliant all at the same time. (and, if you make it to chapter 9, it keeps getting better)

Step Two: The parody - Trapped in the Drive-Thru. (There's no video here. Only the song.)

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Milton wants his stapler back. And he won't take it any longer. (Made by someone with lots of free time and motivation).

11/8/06 Loose Change

Some things you think about only when you have lots of free time. And what I'm going to talk about right now is one of those things. Everyday I get emails from MySpace saying that I have a new "friend request". Deep down I get a little excited, thinking that some long lost friend found me and wants to say hello. And probably 99 times out of 100, it's some half naked, hot 21 year old. (Yes, the photo here is a real example). Normally, I wouldn't complain all that much if a half naked, hot 21 year old (or any age for that matter) wanted to be my friend. Well, you see, these people aren't real. Ok, yes, I'm sure this girl is real. But it's not her contacting me. You know what I mean. All of this ultimately leaves me extra disappointed. Since, not only am I not hearing from friends (new or old), but these half naked, hot 21 year olds are just teasing me. Well, either they're teasing me or half naked, hot 21 year olds are just infatuated with me. And the latter's not true. I have nearly 3 decades of evidence to prove so much. There's really no point here. It's just that MySpace in all of it's suckiness, not only performs terribly and is full of bugs and spyware... but it also teases me with emails making me think that I have real friends. (Coincidentally, as I was writing this, I got about 6 consecutive email notifications of MySpace friend requests. From Mya, Jennifer, Yur Bytch and a few others.)

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Last night I was hanging out with a few of my neighbors, just having some late night conversation. My one neighbor asked about some book she saw me reading months ago. The book she was referring to was Crossing the Rubicon. She then asked me if I had seen the movie Loose Change. I hadn't even heard of it. So she lent me a burned DVD. I'm watching it now. But, just like every other documentary I've seen lately, it's on Google Video. So, if this is up your alley, I highly recommend a real sit-down and watch session - Loose Change.

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In a somewhat related historical event, I've been meaning to post a link to The Reichstag Fire. Long story short, it was the Pearl Harbor of Germany in 1933. It basically allowed Hitler to rise to power and become dictator of Germany. He subsequently enacted laws that didn't allow for dissent and well, you know what ensued over the next decade or so. (Do you see similarities between The Reichstag Fire events and the events following 9/11? The Patriot Act. The Department of Homeland Security. It's been more subtle in recent years. But there are glaring similarities. That's what I'm getting at.)

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Let's end this on a less heated note. I walked into Trader Joe's yesterday to do my bi-weekly grocery shopping. First thing I see is the $.19 bananas. From which I stock up. I'm a banana eater. Not in a pole-smoking, euphemism kind of way. I'm just talking bananas here. They go very nicely in a bowl of cereal. They're also good post-workout food. Wait, why am I telling you this? Oh yeah. I'm bored. And if you are too, this could be one of those rare win-win situations in life. So I put a half dozen or so bananas into a bag. And some lady comes up and starts looking intently on all of the bananas. I tear off another bag because I want a few more bananas (I stock up, remember? Stay with me here).

(Brief Tangent) Trader Joe's somehow brings out the kindness in me. I never get through the store without someone striking up a friendly conversation. Towards the end of my shopping, the lady who prepares the samples paid me a very kind compliment and it made my day. It's the closest you come to fun loving hippie world in Republican Orange Country. (/Brief Tangent)

So, I offer the plastic baggy to the mid 30's with really nice teeth lady. Who then gives me a strange look and nods 'no'.

And asks: "Do you think it's alright to break some bananas off?"

Me: "Yeah. I'm sure that would be just fine."

Her: "Really?"

Me: "Yeah. People do it all the time."

Her: "I don't know. I have a thing about this."

Me: "How many are you looking for?" (As I pick some up and am ready to break them off for her)

Her: "Don't the bananas go bad quicker if you break them?"

Me: (Finally using my tour of the banana fields of Central America to some use) "I don't think so. Bananas come in very large bunches of 100 bananas or more. So they've already been torn apart from their family".

(Yeah, I wasn't quite sure how crazy she was. But I figured the "family" part would once and for all determine if she was nutty or just batshit crazy).

Her: "I don't know."

Me: "How about this? We'll split this one. Whatever bananas you don't want, I'll take."

Her: "Ok. Sure."

She breaks off 4 or 5, leaving me 2. I put the 2 in a bag. And she scurries off. Normally I don't like to use the word "scurry" to describe a non-4-legged animal. But that's what she did. And that's my story.

11/7/06 I Voted Today

I voted today. I had no excuse not to. The polling place was 500 feet from where I live. Do you want me to be honest? Of course you do. The primary reason I voted today was to see how the voting machines worked. In the 2004 presidential election, my district used optical scan machines. I was very happy with those machines. In addition to the optical scan, there was a distinct paper trail in case there was a need for a recount.

Today's machines were far different. But first, let's start with the entire process. I walked into the room, walked to the right side of the room and pulled out my driver's license. An elderly lady asked for my last name and confirmed who I was. I then wrote down my address and signed on the line next to my name. All good. She then told the gentleman next to her some ID number associated with my name. He then asked for confirmation of my address. I gave it to him. They offered me a flyer with directions on how to use the machines and pointed me in the direction of another lady who was at the far end of the room, opposite the entry door. She printed a ticket with a 4 digit number, which was the number I needed to unlock the machine and vote. Still, all good.

I look down at the machine (on the left side of the room), touch the screen and realize it's not touch screen. (Forgive me if every polling place has the exact same machines and I'm describing the same thing you went through). So, back to the instructions. There were a few very large buttons at the bottom. "Cast Ballot" was in red. A triangular back arrow for "Prev" and a triangular forward arrow for "Next". Followed by a gigantic "Enter" button and an iPod-like scroll wheel on the right to make selections. It took me no time to figure it out. But I did wonder about some of the elderly who may not be quite savvy with computers and scroll wheels. To enter the 4 digit code, you had to use the scroll wheel to get to each number, then hit enter. It was like entering your initials on a Golden Tee game. So, for me, no problem.

It doesn't really matter how I voted. Although I did abstain from a lot of topics on which I had no information (I felt like I was voting on local kindergarten teachers at one point). The important part was at the end. After I was done voting, all of my votes were displayed on 3 pages. Like:

Governor: Joe Schmoe
Prop 99: Yes
Prop 100: No

And so on. I had to confirm each page individually. Once I approved all 3 pages, I hit the "Cast Ballot" button. This is the part I like. Those same pages that I confirmed on the screen were then printed one at a time underneath a plastic cover off to the left. Once again, I have to approve that each printed page matched my vote. Voila.... A paper trail. One that I reviewed and approved.

So, all in all, I give a thumbs up to the process in my district. My biggest concern with electronic voting in the past was a lack of paper trail. And, on the surface, there appears to be a visible, reliable paper trail. Oh, and the logo on the machine I used was a lower case "h" with a little circle in the upper right like a degree symbol. The background was red and the "h" was white. Who makes them?

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I was all excited about Microsoft's new mapping tool that has 3D views of a bunch of cities. But the interface is all, well, Microsoft. And, quite frankly, blows. So, try it at your own risk.

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Cousin Eric sent this animation - The Boss.

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If the above animation is up your alley (and you hate your job like the rest of us)... It's always fun to watch scenes from Office Space. (You realize that movie is more than 7 years old already?)

11/6/06 Hacking Democracy

On the eve of our nation's midterm elections, Google Video is posting the HBO special "Hacking Democracy" in its entirety. So, go out tomorrow and vote. Maybe it'll count.

I have 2 questions about the above. 1) Now that Google bought YouTube, do they still need Google Video? 2) Why is everyone in the documentary over the age of 45 and not exactly what you'd call an expert on computer programming?

And for those of you that never went to college - The Wizard of Oz synched up to "Dark Side of the Moon" is available without all the effort of getting both the CD and the video and figuring out which lion's roar to start the music.

11/5/06 Rate My Professor

Even though I'm a nearly a decade removed from school, I still check sites like RateMyProfessors.com. (Professor Joe can be found at this site in case you were wondering and know who he is). Point is - I found the funniest comments. Like:

You can't cheat in her class because no one knows the answers.

His class was like milk, it was good for 2 weeks.

Houston, we have a problem. Space cadet of a teacher, isn't quite attached to earth.

I would have been better off using the tuition money to heat my apartment last winter.

Three of my friends got A's in his class and my friends are dumb.

Emotional scarring may fade away, but that big fat F on your transcript won't.

Evil computer science teaching robot who crushes humans for pleasure.

Miserable professor - I wish I could sum him up without foul language.

Instant amnesia walking into this class. I swear he breathes sleeping gas.

BORING! But I learned there are 137 tiles on the ceiling.

Not only is the book a better teacher, it also has a better personality.

Teaches well, invites questions and then insults you for 20 minutes.

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Doogie Howser isn't a straight man. But he does play one on TV.

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If you're familiar with the R. Kelly "Trapped in the Closet" song, I highly suggest you check out the Weird Al parody - Trapped in the Drive-Thru.

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Sammy Sosa discovers HGH, is jealous of Barry's Bond's big head.... decides he wants to return to baseball.

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Today's Story: Burned soldier gets his wish to see the Bears play. Tomorrow's story: Soldier decides which part was more painful.

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Finally, here's something to start your week. Miss Universe winners over the years. (and the ever changing standards of beauty).

11/3/06 The Biggest Douche in the Universe

When it comes to integrity in journalism, you think Maxim Magazine. Which is why they have - The Biggest Douchebags Ever Elected.

In the spirit of my "Hey, Donnie Darko is an amazing movie and I didn't watch it until years later"... I watched Magnolia the other night. Seven years after it came out. To my defense, I saw it once before, somewhere around 2002. But I didn't remember a whole lot about it. Except that it really struck me. So, Magnolia shows up and it sits on top of my TV for 6 weeks. Part of me is convinced that it's not going to be nearly as good as I remember. Part of me thinks I need to be in the right mood for it. And part of me looks at the cover and reads "3 hours 8 min". All of those combined are reasons it took me a month and a half to ultimately watch the movie.

The verdict? Once again, I'm drawn into the movie. My mind is continually racing from one scene to the next, attempting to understand how everything is intertwined. I'm entranced by all of the characters, wanting to know about their pasts. And why they are the way they are.

From discussions I've had with friends, I'm the only one who seems to be that into "Magnolia". But, for what it's worth, if you're looking for something a little different, a little more complex and a little darker... Consider it next time you're adding something to your Netflix/Blockbuster queue.

11/2/06 Mad Sudoku Skillz

In an article written about 5 weeks from now, scientists are using Sudoku solving skills to learn about the brain and neural pathways. "No wonder Sudoku puzzles give your brain a good work-out. Scientists say solving them depends on neural pathways that even the most powerful computers can't replicate." (I know the article was written in September. It's a joke.)

Just a heads up - The 2006 International World Championships of Rock Paper Scissors are coming up. November 11-12. Toronto, Canada. Be there.

I don't know about you. But I liked Taye Diggs way better when he was Bill Murray. (Click the link. Take this one slow. Think about it for a few seconds. Ok. Let it settle in. Ok good. You got the joke.)

11/1/06 I Have a Tiny Head?

First off, I gave up on thinking of a "Da" in today's title. I thought about using "DAmn!..." and then something. But that's lame. I also ruled out the song "Da da da". But I did give it lots of thought. And I'm sure as soon as I'm done writing, something will come to me.

Secondly - If you're wondering about the picture... No it's not the preview for "Twins 2". It's the 2 candidates running for governor in California. (And my sincere apologies to my mom who asked me just yesterday if we are voting for governor next week - and I said "no" because I'm the poster child for your typical uninformed voter and, according to recent tests, bordering on mild retardation.) Which leads me to the negative campaigning I was talking about yesterday. I searched around YouTube today for some examples.

My first impression of the whole online campaigning was - Are these real? Or parodies? Cuz it's hard to tell the difference. Seriously - this is real? People buy into this stuff? The one I wanted to show but can't find yet is an ad about a guy who's soft on crime. And throughout the entire commercial you see just the thuggest looking thugs, full up with their bandanas and low riders and semi-automatic weapons, getting ready for a drive by shooting. It's just super racist and pulling on people's fears of, uh, the weekly neighborhood drive by shooting. Let me know if you can find what I'm talking about. (On a final note, this is also an indication that I'm starting to get bored and shouldn't be watching daytime TV. I was going to rant about the commercial for "Buzz Ballads" and their "Ginormous" hits, but I'll save that for another day.)

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This transitions perfectly into my bitch and moan session for the day. Ok, it's not a big deal, but, as you know the only show I really watch on a regular basis is "Lost". And, for whatever reason, I get home at 9:45 tonight... Think to myself, wait, "Lost" is on tonight. Sweet. What a great way to end a pretty decent day. I see that it started at 9:00. The red light on my DVR indicates that it's recording. I go to check that it's recording as scheduled. And it's recording some South Park rerun. So, for a moment I freak out. (Ok, I rarely "freak out" in the traditional sense, but I was not happy.) Then I remember that ABC airs their episodes online. So I check. And they do. Starting at 2am my time. Crisis averted. (Although, don't be surprised if you ask me tomorrow - "Hey, what did you do last night." And I answer, "Stayed up until 3am". And for a split second you'll wonder if, by some miracle, I found a women in my life. Then you'll come to your senses and figure it all out.)

I realize that this entire story about "Lost" sounds like the diary of a 13 year-old teenage girl. Which is a bad sign for a lot of reasons. Most importantly, it goes to show that I am totally and completely hooked on a TV show. If we lived in, oh, let's say, 2004... How would I ever see that episode? Every piece of the "Lost" mystery from this day forward, I would assume that I missed in that one hour and would forever taint my being. But back to the 13 year-old teenage girl thing for a second... It's also a bad sign that my life is becoming that way due to a gradual building-up of boredom.

Moral of the story - don't trust your DVR or TiVo. Because it might just open your eyes to one of your many shortcomings in life. And for some of us, we're just not quite ready to admit that we have thousands of shortcomings, including addiction to a ridiculous TV show.

And since I'm not starting a "Lost" support group, nor am I ever planning to join one.... Here's Lost Connections. (It's a neat graphic, showing how the characters were connected before they ended up on the island.)

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And finally... To end this evening... Is there such a thing as TOO much protected sex? Yes.