Some things you think about only when you have lots of free time. And what I'm going to talk about right now is one of those things. Everyday I get emails from MySpace saying that I have a new "friend request". Deep down I get a little excited, thinking that some long lost friend found me and wants to say hello. And probably 99 times out of 100, it's some half naked, hot 21 year old. (Yes, the photo here is a real example). Normally, I wouldn't complain all that much if a half naked, hot 21 year old (or any age for that matter) wanted to be my friend. Well, you see, these people aren't real. Ok, yes, I'm sure this girl is real. But it's not her contacting me. You know what I mean. All of this ultimately leaves me extra disappointed. Since, not only am I not hearing from friends (new or old), but these half naked, hot 21 year olds are just teasing me. Well, either they're teasing me or half naked, hot 21 year olds are just infatuated with me. And the latter's not true. I have nearly 3 decades of evidence to prove so much. There's really no point here. It's just that MySpace in all of it's suckiness, not only performs terribly and is full of bugs and spyware... but it also teases me with emails making me think that I have real friends. (Coincidentally, as I was writing this, I got about 6 consecutive email notifications of MySpace friend requests. From Mya, Jennifer, Yur Bytch and a few others.)
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Last night I was hanging out with a few of my neighbors, just having some late night conversation. My one neighbor asked about some book she saw me reading months ago. The book she was referring to was Crossing the Rubicon. She then asked me if I had seen the movie Loose Change. I hadn't even heard of it. So she lent me a burned DVD. I'm watching it now. But, just like every other documentary I've seen lately, it's on Google Video. So, if this is up your alley, I highly recommend a real sit-down and watch session - Loose Change.
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In a somewhat related historical event, I've been meaning to post a link to The Reichstag Fire. Long story short, it was the Pearl Harbor of Germany in 1933. It basically allowed Hitler to rise to power and become dictator of Germany. He subsequently enacted laws that didn't allow for dissent and well, you know what ensued over the next decade or so. (Do you see similarities between The Reichstag Fire events and the events following 9/11? The Patriot Act. The Department of Homeland Security. It's been more subtle in recent years. But there are glaring similarities. That's what I'm getting at.)
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Let's end this on a less heated note. I walked into Trader Joe's yesterday to do my bi-weekly grocery shopping. First thing I see is the $.19 bananas. From which I stock up. I'm a banana eater. Not in a pole-smoking, euphemism kind of way. I'm just talking bananas here. They go very nicely in a bowl of cereal. They're also good post-workout food. Wait, why am I telling you this? Oh yeah. I'm bored. And if you are too, this could be one of those rare win-win situations in life. So I put a half dozen or so bananas into a bag. And some lady comes up and starts looking intently on all of the bananas. I tear off another bag because I want a few more bananas (I stock up, remember? Stay with me here).
So, I offer the plastic baggy to the mid 30's with really nice teeth lady. Who then gives me a strange look and nods 'no'.
And asks: "Do you think it's alright to break some bananas off?"
Me: "Yeah. I'm sure that would be just fine."
Her: "Really?"
Me: "Yeah. People do it all the time."
Her: "I don't know. I have a thing about this."
Me: "How many are you looking for?" (As I pick some up and am ready to break them off for her)
Her: "Don't the bananas go bad quicker if you break them?"
Me: (Finally using my tour of the banana fields of Central America to some use) "I don't think so. Bananas come in very large bunches of 100 bananas or more. So they've already been torn apart from their family".
(Yeah, I wasn't quite sure how crazy she was. But I figured the "family" part would once and for all determine if she was nutty or just batshit crazy).
Her: "I don't know."
Me: "How about this? We'll split this one. Whatever bananas you don't want, I'll take."
Her: "Ok. Sure."
She breaks off 4 or 5, leaving me 2. I put the 2 in a bag. And she scurries off. Normally I don't like to use the word "scurry" to describe a non-4-legged animal. But that's what she did. And that's my story.
1 comment:
I'm pretty sure Germany didn't hold an election in 1938 during which a party opposing Hitler took control of the legislative branch. Every two years, we have the ability to change the direction of our political affairs, and it clearly worked pretty well this time.
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