Wednesday, July 12, 2006

7/12/06 The Inferno

Chalk this up as reason number 87,489 that I hate the government.


"Ozzie Guillen, you've just won your first all star game. What are you going to do next?"

"I'm going to the Canadian Gay Games!"


Poker Jason is going to be pissed that I'm posting this story. But it's one of those things that happens maybe once a year, at best. So it's too hard to pass up (sorry, man).

A little background - Poker Jason is a HUGE NY Mets fan. In all fairness, probably more than I am a White Sox fan. We're probably the only two people on earth who have been trash talking the all star game, simply due to the winner getting home field advantage in the World Series. (Both of us strongly believe in a Mets vs. White Sox series. Well, we're each convinced that our team will be there and we're giving the benefit of the doubt for the other side).

With 2 out in the 9th inning last night, the NL up 2-1 and Paul Konerko batting, he picks up his phone. Konerko singles and I answer. I skip the pleasantries since I know he's ready to gloat about the NL win. Our conversation goes something like this:

Me: "Yeah, yeah. It ain't over yet."
Jason: "The only question left is WHO should be the MVP? Carlos Beltran or David Wright? Wright had the homerun, but Beltran had the double and the stolen base... (he tails off)"
Me: (As Troy Glaus nearly drives in the tying run, but ends up with a ground rule double.) "Are you SURE you want to be talking about this?" (AL has men on 2nd and 3rd with 2 outs).
Jason: "Who do you guys have up to bat? Who is that? Michael Young?"
Me: "Yup. A great guy to have up when you just need a single."
(I kind of forget what we talked about for the next 30 seconds. But we may have been talking about why Billy Wagner wasn't there. Or how Michael Young is no Albert Pujols. Or something like that. When, with 2 strikes, Michael Young popped the ball into the gap in right center.)
Me: "Uh oh! Uh oh!"
Jason: "A triple!? I have to hang up now. This call is a jinx."
Me: "Ok" (He's already hung up and I'm laughing, wondering if I'll ever be able to properly re-create the perfectly timed sequence of events that happened in the previous 2 minutes.)

The American League hangs on to win 3-2. Ozzie retains a decade of American League all star dominance.

10 minutes later I get a text message - "Trevor Hoffman Sucks!"

End of story.


My favorite overhead quote of the day:

Some kid playing outside near a fountain: "Eww! Eww! Eww! Eww!"
Dad: "Hey psycho. Relax."


Food for thought - Did the writers of The Goonies intend for the subtle, double meaning behind "One Eyed Willy"? And equally as important, why did it take me more than 20 years to put those two together?


More food for thought - There are two types of people in this world. People who like black liquorice and people who don't. (There is no middle ground here).


I've been sick the last few days and was all kinds of grumpy. I think the fact that I'm writing more is a good sign that I'm starting to feel better.

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