8/30/05 Small Ad

In case you missed Tom's comment yesterday. He writes "Big Ad? Small Ad!"

I'm usually not one to post sites talking about headline news or feel good type stories. Today, however, is an exception. Here are some very moving photos of Hurricane Katrina's aftermath.

I somehow ended up watching some show on the Sci-Fi channel this afternoon about the KGB and UFOs. It was the only show on cable that combined 2 of my favorite acronyms. So I watched. I'm not really sure how this happened, but I did a search on the show using Google and I came across this Conspiracy Archive. So if you like conspiracy or like making fun of conspiracy, this site is for you.

8/29/05 Big Ad

Now THAT'S a real big ad.

Drunk dials are always fun. Ok, not always. Actually, hardly ever. But this one is worth listening to.

Think you can type fast? Try this. My best is 8.784 seconds.

Here's a way to completely traumatize your teenage daughter.

Senator Barack Obama was detained at a Russian airport. And you still think the cold war is over???

I bet this guy gets all the chicks.

No wonder Chipotle burritos rule. A veggie burrito has 52 grams of fat and 1168 calories. To compare, a Big Mac has 21.5 grams of fat and 485 calories. How much does a full-on Chipotle burrito pack? Here's the answer.

I think I found my dream house.

Leah sends a great link - Indeed.com. If you're looking for work, you can search all (or close to it) of the online job sites using Indeed.com. Just enter in a keyword and a zip code. Pretty sweet.

8/28/05 Crazy Kids Today

It's hard to believe that summer is almost over. Labor Day is already coming up next week, kids are heading back to school, the days are getting shorter... I really have no idea what my point is here. Except that we had some fun by the pool today. That is, until the cops came. They came to break up our chicken fighting. Are you kidding? Three cops came to the pool fully armed. They had a helicopter circling the premises and all. No joke. It was like I was playing real life Grand Theft Auto. But then I hit R1, R1, Circle, R2, Up, Down, Up, Down, Up, Down and things cooled down and we avoided jail time. For chicken fighting in a pool. Oh, and in case you were wondering, my side won the chicken fight. I was going to go head to head against some dude who kept yelling "O'Doyle Rules!" for the ultimate chicken fighting championship. Maybe some other time. When the cops have more important crime to attend to.

PhD Nicole sends a link to My Sweet Pee. She claims to be disgusted by the idea. Yet she still sent me the link. Hmmmmm....

Chupacabra post of the month - Texas Farmer Claims He Caught Legendary Chupacabra.

Professor Ruzic taught us in 1999 that the Nazis developed a method that could convert coal to oil. That same process can be used today, but would only be economically viable once oil prices exceeded the costly process to convert coal to oil. In light of skyrocketing oil prices the idea has resurfaced.

8/27/05 My Milkshake Brings all the Boys to the Yard

And they're like, it's better than yours. Damn right, it's better than yours. I could teach you, but I'd have to charge.

Jorge (I still don't have a nickname for you either) sends some neat Optical Illusions. The 3rd one is really spooky.

Mike (again no nickname) sent me a pretty neat story about a guy who writes about his travels 'round the world.

8/26/05 Idioms

Half jokingly, I asked my brother, "Why is a horse giving gifts and what's wrong with looking at his mouth?" My brother then proceeded to make me feel really stupid since he knew the origins of "Don't Look a Gift Horse in the Mouth". That discussion led to me GoEnglish.com, a site filled with English idioms and origins.

Tired? Cousin Kevin sends a link that can help you. The Mall of America is selling naptime for 70 cents per minute.

Bots have taken over internet poker. Sarah Conner folds Ace Queen suited.

From the "That's cool" files - Chris Farley got a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

8/25/05 The Milk Drinking Batboy

The newest chapter in the milk drinking batboy saga - Milk has offered to pay him $500 if he drinks the recommended 3 glasses a milk per day.

It's always surprising to see what new made up psychological disorders and diseases that doctors have come up with. I'm sure if you put together some sort of study, you'd find that there are something like 1000% more official diseases today than there were 20 years ago. TV has taught me that most diseases come with a hot chick and a puppy. Valtrex almost makes me excited to get herpes. I found a new disorder that, well, I really don't understand.

Google Nicki sends me Google Talk. I asked her how it's better than MSN Messenger or Yahoo Messenger where you can not only chat, but video chat. She writes "It's better". 'Nuf said. I wrote "Ok" and downloaded it.

My dad understands the importance of bathrooms in my life. So he sent me a link to Bathroom Mania.

8/24/05 The IPod Generation

News Flash - It's no longer Generation X and Generation Y. It's "The IPod Generation". According to BBC, this generation is worse off economically than the baby boomers.

The Flying Spaghetti Monster. It won't die.

Some dude levitating. And it's not David Blaine's 4 inches off the ground. This dude's attached to wires or something.

From the Uhhhhh? Files. Let's Save our Environment.

I've got my beefs with quite a few things. It's normal. This dude has a MAJOR beef with public restrooms.

Is this guy for real? This guy got me to thinking. WWJD? Seriously - how would Jesus deal with this guy?

As a follow up to the milk drinking ordeal from yesterday.... The Florida Marlins suspended their batboy 6 games. Only 4 games fewer than Rafael Palmeiro got for taking steroids.

8/23/05 Cookie Recipe

For all of your Dirty Sanchez festive occasions - Dirty Sanchez Cookies. Don't ask. I have no idea where I find this stuff.

As submitted by Cousin Danny via Cousin Eric - Dodger pitcher Brad Penny bet a bat boy for the Marlins that the bat boy couldn't drink a gallon of milk in an hour and keep it down. See #2 for the details.

Google Nicki sends Stuff On My Cat.

She also sends ChicagoCrime.org.

I love how technology moves so quickly. Remember the Flying Spaghetti Monster? From last week? It's already in Wikipedia. As a pseudo religion.

Uh, I'm not really sure how to post this. But, uh, if you search Google Images for "Woman Driver", uh, here's what you get.

An interview with one of the Myth Busters.

8/22/05 The Beast

Jorge was inspired by the Emerald Nuts commercials and kindly sent in commercials for Milwaukee's Best. The commercials focus on how to act like a man. Jorge, once again, are you trying to tell me something?

Another page on Tool's Lateralus. This time the author talks about the relationship between the album and the Qabala.

8/21/05 Believe It Or Not, I'm Walking on Air

Who could it be? Believe it or not, it's just me. In case I haven't mentioned it before, I won't get married unless I can play that song at my wedding. So ladies - this is fair warning. I found that clip at this 80s site. (Real Player Required).

Star Wars Revenge of the Sith - Seen in China, subtitled in English.

You think you've seen the sickest girls on the internet? You have now.

HUH?

Once again I'm going to promote one of my favorite shows on TV - Drawn Together. I'm nearly positive I saw that they'll be back with a 2nd season starting this fall. I highly recommend checking it out.

8/20/05 Don't Call Me Chris Everett

An oldie but a goodie - My brother, dad and I were talking about this a week or so ago. The clip where Jim Rome calls Jim Everett Chris Everett.

Kansas City Royals to the County Board - "Give us $200 million for a new stadium or we'll go suck elsewhere."

Check this out - Chinese Defense Minister Gives Speech About WAR plans against the United States.

This is the strangest ad I've seen in a long time. If you can figure out what the ad is for in the first 55 seconds (note: the ad is 60 seconds long), you're lying.

8/19/05 Emerald Nuts

Has anybody else seen these commercials for Emerald Nuts? It may be a California thing. But the commercials crack me up. If you go to their website and click on TV Ads on the top, you can watch them. I think the Extreme Nurses one is my favorite.

I decided to teach myself anatomy last night. (Yes, I am seriously bored). And I found Human Anatomy Online. It's definitely an informative site. Ahh! My liver!

The future of TV.

What if there were no trades or free agency in baseball? What if players stayed with their original teams?

8/18/05 The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

I have 3 baseball facts today...

The Good - Sports Illustrated looks back at their top players under 25 from 1994. Not too shabby.

The Bad - Cousin Jeff sends an article about the White Sox titled, "The White Sox, baseball's other historically pathetic team".

The Ugly - The rumor mill is swirling again... Who's testing positive for steroids now?

Jorge sends a couple of articles. First, check the name on your cable bill. Second, a new way to find a date. Are you trying to tell me something, Jorge?

This ain't your grandpa's Public Service Announcement.

The Nacho Expert sent me this link and wrote, "All Goonies. All the time". I concur.

Tips for playing poker online. Cousin Dan and I were discussing what percentage of flops you should see. This site says 20-30%. I'm obviously seeing too many flops and this could help explain my poor poker playing as of late.

8/17/05 Defuse the Bomb

It's been a while since I've posted any games. So here are two:

1) Defuse the Bomb - You've got 20 minutes to defuse the bomb. I tried once and the bomb blew up about 3 minutes in.

2) 8 Queens. It looks easy enough. But it's not.

$5 a gallon for gas? Experts are saying it'll happen next year. Professor Ruzic - you were dead on with your gas price estimates six years ago.

U.S. government disrupts MILF training.

8/16/05 I've GOTTA Have More Cowbell

Christopher Walken in 2008. 40 acres, a mule and more cowbell for everyone.

40 reasons why it's wonderful to be a woman. #19. Women can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

I already knew this, but I like the fact so much I'm going to write about it again. Rush's instrumental song YYZ rules. Not only does it rule to listen to, but hidden in the song is Morse Code for YYZ. YYZ is also the airport code for Toronto where the band calls home.

8/15/05 Nervous? First Time?

I really have nothing today. I spent the majority of the day packing and in transit to California. I did learn that I haven't heard every excuse for a plane to be delayed. Today, we boarded quickly, the skies were clear and by some miracle, there were no O'Hare related problems. Turns out, not only do you need a pilot, but also a first captain. Since Ted Striker was nowhere to be found, we waited. Since pilots get paid so much, I think I just figured out a way to cut down on costs - Eliminate the 2nd pilot, who obviously doesn't do anything but keep the other guy company. Either that, or just pay someone who is qualified to be friendly and chummy.

SI writes an article about the Cubs - Lovable Losers?

8/14/05 Uhhhh, Spaghetti?

In my record setting 2nd spaghetti related post in less than a week, physicists have determined why spaghetti breaks into more than 2 pieces when bent. Still no cure for cancer.

As a big fan of The Big Lebowski and of DailyLush.com, I apologize for calling their article about The Big Lebowski "pseudo-intellectual". It's a very well written article about a fantastic movie. Occasionally I forget that I need to keep my self-deprecating humor focused on myself. So Max - My sincere apologies.

Mario vs. Sonic.

I was watching Myth Busters with my dad today and they tried busting a myth about Archimedes' Mirror. They claim that the myth is busted and that it would be impossible to generate enough heat to burn a ship with the mirrors.

Mike sends the latest innovation out of Japan. (Real Player required).

Play Jeopardy. And keep score at home.

8/13/05 I Just Can't Wait for my 10 Year Reunion

I'm officially old. My 10 year high school reunion was surprisingly pleasant and lacked the pretentiousness that you would expect as people are starting their careers. If you were at the reunion, please send me copies of your pictures - I'm going to post them on this website in the next week or so.

Engrish. Funny signs in English from around the world.

The George W. Bush Soundboard.

A pseudo-intellectual article about The Big Lewbowski.

8/12/05 Evolution on Steroids

You rarely see a Pro Chernobyl article. Until now.

My dad sends a site filled with super slow motion video clips of all sorts of things.

My brother and sister-in-law came over to my parents to visit tonight. We got caught up in movie quote trivia, so I searched on "Movie Quote Quiz" and found, you guessed it, The Movie Quote Quiz. As a group we did really well, but my brother got the vast majority of them. The quotes include sound clips. Those help a lot.

The Jerk-o-Meter. You've gotta just read the article.

For the Cubs Fans - An article about Steve Stone.

For the Sox Fans - an article about TV Baseball Commentators. This guys LOVES Hawk Harrelson. From the comments he's getting, he seems to be the only one.

For Bears Fans - Sorry. That sucks. Hold onto the magic of 1985 for another season.

Here's a game. It might not be safe for work. It's definitely really dumb.

8/11/05 Albert Einstein Quotes

In a continuation of the Albert Einstein 100 year anniversary, here is a collection of Einstein's quotes.

The Daily Show explains Scientology. (Note: This is really what they believe).

Some dude built furniture out of FedEx packing supplies.

A video of one crazy dude. (The ads on the page might be semi-Not-Safe-For-Work).

8/10/05 The Crazy Weather Man

Mike Mathis, the crazy weather man, is back for more. Charlotte Dan said he got fired. Damn shame.

44 year old man buys beer for 17 year old neighbor. He's found not guilty. "Prosecutors failed to prove Miller Genuine Draft is indeed beer."

The Sports Guy's mailbag. He disses poker, but I'm willing to overlook that.

More than 400 DOS games. I sure hope Gorilla and Nibbles are in there.

A century of Einstein. The movie.

8/9/05 The Flying Spaghetti Monster

Today I've collected a whole bunch of random, non-making-sensical, links and facts. First on the list is an open letter to the Kansas school board about the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Hey, it's hard to argue with the guy's logic.

Some guy likes getting kicked in the balls. He'll even pay you to do it.

Remember the hand slapping game? You might have played it when you were young. Or, if you're like me, you've probably played it recently. Either way, now you can play it without the pain.

Awww. Children's drawings in the subway station. Korean kids are so cute.

Robbery plan. Step 1: Steal Segways. Step 2: Uh huh huh. Huh huh.

Some guy falling out of the stands at Yankee Stadium. He claims he was just imitating the Yankees' season.

8/8/05 Ringback Tones

Old and busted: Customized Rings. New hotness: Ringback Tones. My brother told me about, what he called, "the stupidest idea ever" a week or two ago. He told me about "ringback tones" for your cell phone. Now, you can customize the ring that your caller hears when they call you. In fact, you can have different songs for different callers. In true brotherly fashion, I had to take the opposite side of his argument and I have gone as far as ordering a ringback tone for my phone. Honestly, I am not real sure about the idea either. But I was really bored the other night and found a song I really found appropriate. So I ponied up the $1.99 for the song and the $0.99 for the monthly subscription. So far, money well spent.

The 2005 Rock Paper Scissors International Championships will be held on October 22nd. If I'm employed and can afford to go, I'll be there.

I've got something in common with the Guantanamo detainees. And it's not wanting G. W.'s head on a stick.

Brian (some dude who thinks he's Nostradamus) is making a whole lot of bold predictions. His latest prediction - 9.5 Earthquake hits California. Don't worry about me - I'll be out of the state that day.

For White Sox fans out there - Their Magic Number. It stands at 39. If you're a Chicago Sports fan, it's definitely worth signing up for that website.

8/7/05 Ancestry

Find out the history of your last name here.

Pictures of adult celebrities when they were kids. Bjork appeared to be at a crossroad at a very young age. But I'm happy that she chose to be a nutty singer instead of becoming an axe murderer.

Do you need somebody dissed in a rap song? Bidding ends in 4 days.

Mmmmm.... 13 pound gummy bear.

Here's a video from Beck. I never thought I'd ever write "Here's a video from Beck". Which is why I wrote it.

Rest in Peace, Peter Jennings.

8/6/05 Joe Crede

It's no secret that I'm a huge White Sox fan. And it's no secret how much I think 3rd baseman, Joe Crede (or as Dan O. writes, "Joke Reedy"), sucks as a hitter. This is why Cousin Dan's quote from today's White Sox game makes top fact:

"That's how bad we're hitting -- we've got Joe Crede as the DH," manager Ozzie Guillen said before the game. "I was making fun of myself. I was like, 'Wow, how bad are we when we've got Crede as the DH?"

Despite their recent struggles, they won their major league leading 71st game today. Their ace, Mark Buerhle, has always struggle against Ichiro. Ichiro is 14 for 28 lifetime against Buerhle. I found it funny that when Buerhle got Ichiro to ground out in the 3rd inning, he make sure to keep the ball as a souvenir.

Here's a way to pay a traffic ticket.

8/5/05 Robert Novak

I was watching "The Daily Show" last night and they had a clip of an interview with James Carville and Robert Novak. And Robert Novak curses on air and walks off the show. You can click on the picture to watch the video.

More fun t-shirts.

NCAA puts ban on Indian Mascots.

Most of my posts and links are safe for work. Not all, but the vast majority. This one, however, is not. I repeat - THIS IS NOT SAFE FOR WORK. But I don't completely understand this and maybe somebody can explain Vulva Perfume to me.

Some guy went missing on Royal Carribean's Brilliance of the Seas. I know a few people who read this blog that will be on that ship later this year. This is your public service announcement. So, uh, be careful.

8/4/05 Hungry?

Here's a burger for you. Well, if your name is Kobayashi.

I thought I had today's sports story - Mike Tyson doing porn. But then Cousin Eric IMed me something way better. The headline is "Wife wanted to cuddle. Husband wanted to watch sports." The first paragraph pretty much says it all - "A man who got angry with his wife because she wanted to cuddle after sex when what he really wanted to do was watch sports on television was sentenced to death for killing her with a claw hammer."

The indestructible keyboard. Sweet.

8/3/05 I'm Rick James, Bitch

The Chappelle Show.... (sniffle) Is now... Over... (sniffle, sniffle). Bonus points to anyone who has ANY idea what 80's HBO show I was trying to mimic there.

Cousin Dave sends, what he proclaims as, a "Geek Link".... Why the U.S. Wants to End the Link Between Time and Sun.

Alright (bleep). Here's the (bleep) link you've (bleep) been (bleep) asking for.

I now present the Seventeen.... uh... er.... Ten Commandents. Again, bonus points for naming my lame movie reference here.

Build the best paper airplane ever.

8/2/05 Enjoy Nachos

I decided to search Google today for "nachos" to see the results. I came across EnjoyNachos.com. Turns out, they disagree with our history of nachos.

I finished Harry Potter 6 last night. To be exact, it was at about 3:45 am this morning. I post this so that if you've also read the book I'm now amiable to discussing it. After months of avoiding any spoilers about the book I started searching the internet to read discussion boards - And I came across MuggleNet.com. It's a great Harry Potter page. There are some spoilers buried in the page, but the host is very honest about letting you know that you're about to read a spoiler. So it's safe to check out, even if you haven't read all of the books yet. My favorite section thus far is Oddities and Coincidences.

We love to fly... and it shows.

Well, just in case you happen to end up in prison, some guy has a "how to" on making prison wine.

8/1/05 Design Flaws in Public Restrooms

Someone has dedicated a blog to Design Flaws in Public Restrooms. A note to the guy who writes the blog - There's a bathroom in Miami where I had to bank my stream off the wall in order to hit the toilet. Several of my family can give their own personal accounts of this bathroom. I'll let you know where it is if you feel like adding it to your blog.

Why I will never have a girlfriend. Mathematically proven.

Mathematically unproven - 10 Reasons why I broke up with you.

The greatest sports headline of the year - Click your region if it asks. (And no, it has nothing to do with Rafael Palmeiro getting caught using steroids or the major league leading White Sox 4 game sweep of the Orioles.)

There's a relatively new radio station in Southern California - Jack FM. Their slogan is "Playing what we want". And that's what they do. I was driving home yesterday when AC/DC's "Highway to Hell" came on. At the time it seemed to pump me up as I was driving down PCH. I was all "AND I'M GOING DOOOOOWWWWWWN..... ALL THE WAYYYYYYYYYY.... (long pause)... On a highway to Hellllll". Next thing I knew the station was playing "Shiny Happy People". Listen guys, you can play what you want, but if it's gonna be a buzz kill, I'm changing the station.

Why cell phone service here (in the US) sucks.

The world's most powerful magnet. In a "Real Genius" type moment, you begin to wonder - What would anyone need with a magnet that "weighs more than 15 tons and has a magnetic field 420,000 times that of the Earth's -- strong enough to pull a metal object out of a person's hand and send it flying".

In more science news - here's what Saturn sounds like. Strangely, it sounds like sci-fi movies from the 50s. Eerie.

Here's some dude dunking over 5 guys. DAMN!