I'm a little tired and started feeling bad for myself. Then I started thinking about people who REALLY had a bad day. Like Yasser Arafat, who, um, is almost dead. And George Bush, who woke up realizing that he actually has to clean up the mess he's made. That all made my disappointment in my fantasy team and the fact that I have to spend the night alone in Omaha seem a trivial.
I now understand why this part of America is called The Heartland. It's because "Flat fucking nothing for a thousand miles" doesn't sound as good. I also tried to make a joke that I drove through heaven. And you say, no, it's Iowa. But my brother already told me my joke sucked. And if you're the first to name the movie that's from, you get a point. And if you can somehow make that joke funny, you get two points.