Friday, May 19, 2006

5/19/06 Dear NSA

Do you have a question for the NSA? Write them here. They use their data mining techniques and know more about you than you might expect. Some sample questions and answers:

Q: My wife suggested that I get this new haircut, how does it look?
A: It's fine -- but what's up with the pedicure?

Q: Where did I leave my keys?
A: Inside pocket of your gray jacket (it's hanging in the front closet).

Q: Can I substitute margarine for butter in my Toll House cookie recipe?
A: We know that you've been smoking pot.

Q: Should I be worried about this red bump on my arm?
A: You should be more worried about the lump on your kidney.

Here's some Bathroom Print Worthy material for the day - The Mailbag. Hey this gives me an idea. I should start a mailbag. If you have a question, email it.


(Softball follow up)....

And in case you were wondering about the outcome of the softball game... We lost 15-6. The other team was "The Bayside Tigers". They were all kinds of organized with Bayside shirts and all. It was pretty impressive and they've definitely played together before. Maybe I was a little distracted by Kelly Kipowski's uber-hotness, but we gave it our best. (Note: Kelly Kipowski wasn't on the team. But some of the girls were still pretty hot.) Our team was just thrilled to not have the 15-run "Mercy Rule" called. If it weren't for a monster 8-run, 4th inning for A.C. Slater and Co., we would've been right in there. I won't quite say that all (or even most) of the 15 runs were "earned". But I pitched the entire game and take responsibility for all of them. And let me tell you, hitting a 2 foot by 2 foot mat behind the plate from 50 feet AND putting a 6 to 12 foot arc on the ball isn't that easy. (That mat is the strike zone). For sports fans, it's sort of like hitting 3 pointers, or playing darts, or bowling - you just have to focus and get used to hitting a small target from far away. Or, for the techies out there, it's like playing the old DOS Shell game, Gorilla. Where you would throw bananas and factor in the gravity, initial velocity, arc angle, wind, etc. The sad part is that the team was thrilled that I was throwing strikes and wants to keep me on the mound for future games.

Career pitching stats - 6 IP, 15 runs, 2 Ks, 1 BB

Season hitting stats - 2 for 2, 1 RBI

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