5/24/06 Your Guilty Pleasure Band

What's your guilty pleasure band? We all have at least one. Last night a family member (who shall remain anonymous) admitted to liking Michael Bolton. At first I chuckled, but I quickly stopped. The open honesty was very admirable.

This is going to an open forum (You can post anonymously if you'd like. Or better yet, just say you're "Cousin Eric" like everyone else does.) What band do you like listening to but you're ashamed to admit?

Ok, I'll start:

• I dig Collective Soul. I guarantee you know at least 3 songs on that album. And those songs rock.
• I have the entire soundtrack for "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat" on my iPod. And whenever one comes up on shuffle mode, I listen to it.
• I know every Weird Al polka by heart. They're brilliant. Except the one on "Alapalooza". If all of Al's other works are an A minus, "Alapalooza" is a solid D. He must've had to fulfill some record contract obligation in a hurry when he released that one. When I first got that album, I was sad to think that I was just getting older and had outgrown Weird Al. Al called me up and said, "It's not you. It's me." For the first time in my life, I was happy to hear that.
• "The Greatest American Hero" theme song will never get skipped on my iPod. In fact, I'm still insisting that it gets played at my wedding. Come to think of it, I'm probably going to have to find someone not born in the U.S. to marry. And I'll have to convince her that "The Greatest American Hero" theme song is a traditional wedding song. Great move, eh? Starting the marriage off with deceit. Chalk this up as Reason #8729 I'm still single.
• If you read this blog regularly, you owe me a post of at least one guilty pleasure song/band. I've left my manhood hanging out there. Figuratively speaking. Well, for all you know, it's literally speaking too. Either way... point is... don't leave me hanging.

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While I'm talking about music, I was flipping through my pre-sets in the car yesterday evening. As I've mentioned before, one of the pre-sets is classical. Out of the 5 other stations, I'd classify them as one classic rock, one rock alternative and the other three are pretty cheesy, run-of-the-mill, everyone-can-agree-at-the-office kind of rock stations. I'm not particularly proud of having these stations on my pre-set, but honestly, I can't find anything else remotely in my genre of liking. But in Southern California, half of the stations are in Spanish, the most of the remainder are dance club, hip hop and Kelly Clarkson. So, eliminate all of the those and you're left with the crap on my pre-set. (Note: This is the only place I've lived without a real good rock station. There's a great one in San Diego, but I really can't get good enough reception.)

Why do I mention all of this? As I was flipping through the stations, desperate for a good song, two of the stations were playing two different Nickelback songs at the same time. This seems pretty innocuous in and of itself. But it led me into a severe depression for the night. Let's go through my levels of Nickelback depression through my thought process....

1. (immediate reaction) People actually like Nickelback?
2. (10 seconds later) I have stations on my pre-sets that would play Nickelback?
3. (20 seconds later as I scroll through my stations again) Ahh, Otis Redding. "Dock of the Bay". I can listen to this. Man, I can't believe that anyone likes Nickelback. I mean, every one of their songs is exactly the same. Same beat, same chords, same transitions, same verse, same chorus. I mean, C'MON PEOPLE!
4. (Less than a minute later, "Dock of the Bay" is over. Station goes to a commercial. I'm not really paying attention and I'm scrolling through the stations again. I'm just concentrating on traffic.) I'm now singing to myself... "This is how... you remind me of what I really am!"
5. (30 seconds later, my head bobbing ever so slightly) "I've been wrong! I've been down!..." I shudder.
6. (I shudder like I just found out that the hottie I've been making out with for the past 15 minutes is a transvestite. I turn off the radio, embarrassed, gagging and completely sickened with myself). I know every word to that Nickelback song. And... I... I was... liking it.
7. I tried contacting Eddie Murphy for some psychological advice. If rocking out to Nickelback is like accidentally making out with a transvestite, he'd be the guy to help me through this. I mean, what does that say about you if you're enjoying the making out, but only realize afterwards what you're doing? It doesn't change the fact that you were enjoying it at the time. That's how I felt. Dirty, deceived and depressed. It's nothing I can ever take back. It's forever etched in my memory and my life's journey. I feel dirty and ashamed. I think I need a hug.

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I hear that Jack FM is in just about every major market nowadays? I don't know about your Jack FM, but here people call in and leave brief messages for "Jack". I want to call up and leave a backhanded compliment, but I can't quite figure out how to go about this. Let me know if you have any suggestions. But the tone of the call is to congratulate "Jack" on setting some sort of record... You know, like 1000 consecutive songs with a lame 4/4 tempo. Every one of the songs on that station has the same, unimaginative 4/4 beat. Ideas?

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You still owe me a guilty pleasure song/band. Post it below.