2/28/06 Father Son Day

You think your dad was mean to you growing up? Check out Roger Clemens and his son. His son hit a homerun off of him in a simulated game. In his next at bat? Roger Clemens threw at his kid's head to brush him back. When asked why, Clemens responded, "He winked at me."

In my wallet I found a piece of scrap paper that told me to check out some nerdy, Star Trek-ish kind of website. I forget who gave me the paper, but I checked it out anyways. In a my Memento frame of mind, I blindly followed the instructions to click on "Moon With a View". It's about one of the many moons of Saturn - Iapetus. I haven't read the whole thing, but the Cassini satellite brought back some fascinating photos. I think the article is suggesting that the moon was some sort of Death Star, a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away. Except for the galaxy far, far away part.

2/27/06 Kodaly Solfege Hand Signs

Remember Close Encounters of the Third Kind? Remember the song that the aliens played? And the hand signs they used to represent the notes? Those are Kodaly Solfege Hand Signs. Can someone that is musically inclined help me with the solfege? Re Mi Do Do (low) So? I want to be able to do those hand signs randomly on the street and have some weirdo know exactly what I'm doing.

If you're like me, you were probably sitting on your couch in your underwear at 1:00 pm today wondering, "What exactly IS a Bose-Einstein Condensate? It's the fifth state of matter. There's solid, liquid and gas. Then plasma (real hot) and then the Bose-Einstein Condensate (real cold).

Check your birthday and which obscure holiday shares that day. Today is "International Polar Bear Day".

Check out the new show Free Ride on Fox. It's about a guy living with his parents after college. It would probably be funnier if I could relate.

Ok. Confession time. I lived with my parents when I was 22, 24 and 27. I know exactly what that show is about. Cuz I'm a LOSER.

2/26/06 The Message From Water

After receiving numerous recommendations, I finally watched the movie, "What the Bleep Do We Know?" After watching it, I will also pass on the recommendation. Check out the synopsis if you're interested. In one scene, they mention "The Message From Water" which shows how water can crystallize differently based on prayer. It's definitely a fascinating idea and worth exploring.

I came across Anagrams of Famous People. For example:

• Britney Spears: best PR in years
• David Letterman: terminal dead TV & nerd amid late TV
• Sherlock Holmes: heh smells crook

So I decided to do my own little anagram dealie. I put my full name in the box. Nothing really stands out as amazing. But here are a few I got:

BREAKER OGLES GIN RUM
NEGRO BAGELS MURKIER
NEGRO MALE BIKER RUGS
LAKERS BEGONE RUG RIM
MORGUE BREAKER SLING
MORGUE BRAG KNEEL SIR

What about you? Come up with anything good?

The word of the day - Apothegm.

My dad sends the Street Name Contest Winners.

Happy 20th US Birthday NES!

2/25/06 The Atrocious GM Summit

The Sports Guy writes a clever article entitled "First-Annual Atrocious GM Summit". It basically sums up why I hardly ever watch the NBA anymore.

Two Google videos -

1) Homemade Flame Thrower

2) Super Mario with Puppets - Don't ask. I have no idea what they were smoking.

The greatest vodka ever!

The Enigma Machine was used in Nazi Germany (among other places) to create and decipher codes. The codes were cracked in 1932 in Poland. Except for three (for this project). Now, you can help break the original messages.

SPOILER ALERT!!! I just cracked the first code. It says "Be sure to drink your Ovaltine."

2/24/06 Target

Have you ever shopped at Target, only meaning to buy a few items, and walking out with a whole bunch of crap? That's what I did today. I went there for shampoo, toothpaste and contact solution. I spent $144. I do that every time I go to Target. And, for those who know me, I not a shopper. I'm convinced they pump subliminal messages throughout the store. "You like bright colors. You need more random shit in your house. The 3 blade razor you own isn't good anymore. You need the 5 blade Gillette Fusion. Why don't you pick up a 24 pack of toilet paper while you're here." I even started looking at the XBox 360. It's a good thing they're out of stock, otherwise I might've been out $600. What did I learn? Avoid shopping at Target. Especially while unemployed.

John Rocker is on Match.com. (Note: I wasn't out searching for man love online. This is an article).

2/23/06 This is Not the Old Me. This is the New Me.

Oops. I skipped yesterday. I have no excuse. It's not like I've been busy or anything.

SHIT! I had at least 6 facts bookmarked. And I just "fixed" my computer. Which means, I lost all data and all programs and everything I had saved. Sadly, what I miss most is the few bookmarks I saved today. Half of the links were sent by Poker Jason, so I'll see if I can retrieve them from my email. This is also my way of showing that I'm not harboring any bitterness against Poker Jason for knocking me out of my poker tournament last night. Dick.

I saw this on the news last night. Poker Jason found the transcripts. Moral of the story? Lawyers actually do have feelings.

I always knew Jenny McCarthy and I were kindred spirits. Now, we just need to meet. Jenny - Drop me a line. We can make our dream come true.

More Poker Jason links - Rudy! Rudy! Rudy!

And - Who's doing your taxes?

That's all I could find. And the unemployment clock continues to tick. 08 days 6 hours 34 minutes 21 seconds. Boop. Beep. Boop. Beep.

2/21/06 LSD

In case we needed any more evidence of my complete and total boredom during unemployment, here it is. I started researching LSD. Not that I have any interest in ever taking it. But since the hypnosis experience, it seemed that LSD stories I've heard seemed somewhat similar to the hypnosis. Probably the most interesting paragraph from Wikipedia.org was:

"In 1961, Dr. Timothy Leary received grant money from the Harvard University to study the effects of LSD on test subjects. 3,500 doses were given to over 400 people. Of those tested, 90% said they would like to repeat the experience, 83% said they had "learned something or had insight," and 62% said it had changed their life for the better."

The World's Largest Error Message.

2/20/06 Jigsaw Sudoku

I was introduced to a new form of Sudoku this weekend - Jigsaw Sudoku. I would seriously doubt that any of you are in need of new, fresh sudoku puzzles. But, if you are, it's worth checking out.

I briefly learned about Mormonism this weekend. What I learned was really interesting - You can check out ExMormon.org for information that the church tries to keep secret. (Note: I have no involvement, nor have I ever had any involvement in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Although, when I was a kid, I thought the phrase "the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints" was pretty cool).

For the first time in my life, I was hypnotized this weekend. It was one the the craziest, most powerful experiences I've ever had. In a group setting, the hypnotist did a Past Life Regression. Now, I won't necessarily say that what I saw was truly from a past life (although it seemed so). It could have been the creative, subconscious part of my brain creating a neat story. I really don't know what to believe. If you're interested in what happened, ask me. All I'll say is that it was so powerful, that I had one tear in each eye roll down my cheeks during the experience. And I was crying because I was getting mauled by a bear. So much for the suggestion of "Think positive thoughts".

2/17/06 Albert Belle

Albert Belle stalked his ex-girlfriend with a GPS. And I always thought he was such a nice guy. My favorite quote from the ordeal:

"You didn't write a story about my Hall of Fame induction," Belle said. "You guys never report the good stuff that I do."

If you want to get a hold of me this weekend, call. Emailing will be scarce, if at all.

2/16/06 Winnie Cooper

Oh Winnie Cooper. So hot. Want to touch the heinie (how do you spell that?). All that and brains too - She now has her own mathematical theorem.

In case you were wondering how I spent my Valentine's Day. Here it is.

Nerds and women don't mix. Here's why.

Google Nicki always sends the coolest links. It's probably because she works at Google. And because she's cool like that. Today she sends What Should I Read Next?

She also sends Google's latest purchase - Measure Map.

Here's one place I'm going to avoiding camping at.

Notice I have more facts today? Yup, I use my free time wisely. But, while I'm on that subject, I'll be gone until Monday. Well, gone in the sense that I won't be posting anything for a few days.

2/15/06 Song Tapper

Proving once and for all that computers are smarter than humans - Song Tapper. Tap the lyrics to any song on your keyboard and this program will find the song for you. I tapped out Tool's Lateralus (the one with the Fibonacci sequence) and it got it. I'm impressed.

It was only a matter of time - Play the Dick Cheney hunting game.

The Worldwide Press Freedom Index for 2005. The U.S. dropped to 44th in the world.

Since my online poker took a frustrating dive in the recent past, I had an unheralded comeback in the past 48 hours. I played 5 games at $30/3 stakes (sit & go). I took first in 4 of those 5 games. I doubt I will ever again have a run that solid. (Note: The streak is still alive.)

2/14/06 St. Valentine's Day

Today I learned something fun. If you put an Altoid (original flavor) in your mouth and drink coffee, it's like drinking a York Peppermint Patty. Try it. You may like it.

Since it's Valentine's Day, I decided I'm going to try and be all full of love and compassion. At least for one day. So, despite the fact that in the next 2 days I will be 1) alone, 2) unemployed and 3) wallowing in my own self pity, I send hugs and best wishes to everyone (except Will Perdue. I still haven't forgotten what a dick you are. Oh, and Al Roker too. Screw both of you.) So, besides Will Perdue and Al Roker, Happy Valentine's Day to all.

Don't make him angry.

More information on bacteria in public places.

2/13/06 7th Grade Science Fair Project

7th grader, Jasmine Roberts, finished her science fair project. She compared bacteria count in different restaurants. And then compared the results of bacteria in the ice that they serve in your drink to the bacteria on the toilet water. In short, you'd drink less bacteria out of the toilet.

The Nacho Expert sent the next generation computer monitor. It's really sweet. And sadly, he and I were both reminded of "Minority Report" and the Imagination exhibit at EPCOT Center with Figment.

ESPN presents the top 25 innovations in baseball over the last 25 years.

2/10/06 The Winter Olympics

Happy Anniversary to "Something I learned Today". The first post was on 2/8/2002. And it was about the last Winter Olympics. Ah, memories. Four years ago I was praying for a lay off. And four years later? I get it. Oh, God, you're such a kidder. What did I learn? God has a 4 year queue before he answers prayers.

Cousin Eric sends the newest extreme sport - Speed Stacking. Watch the video if you have a chance.

2/9/06 I Told Those Fudge Packers That I Liked Michael Bolton's Music

'Tis a sad day indeed. The pioneer of the tortilla chip has died.

I suppose it's only appropriate that I, too, have some sad news. I've definitely been a bit anecdotal lately, but this deserves a story. The company I've been working at has gone through a merger/acquisition recently, so people are very worried about their jobs. We had a meeting this morning with the team of about 15 people, with the head director. He wanted to talk to us candidly about the rumors and the future of the team. The idea was that some of the projects have been cancelled, but there are some new projects. And he said that the team would remain intact, at least for the near future. He then said, with maybe the exception of one or two people. Then he said everyone would be fine. Then, he was back to, "well, maybe one or two people will be affected." Which one is it?

About half an hour after the meeting one of the managers asked if he could talk to me. He asked me what projects I've been charging to and working on. This was a perfect opportunity to go into me, "I have eight bosses, Bob. EIGHT." routine. I was halfway into my second sentence explaining that I'm spread across 7 projects when he just says, "I'm going to have to let you go". Umm. Ok. So I got laid off. I offered to pack up my things so he wouldn't be charged more than the few hours I had already worked today. He said to just finish out the week and that my last day is tomorrow. So, it's a weird kind of layoff. I still have to work for another day and a half.

Fast forward another hour. I get an email sent from that manager to a couple of people I work with. It tells them of my termination and suggests any transition they need, they come to me before I leave on 2/15. I may not be the curviest spoon in the drawer, but 2/15 is next Wednesday. I find out now that I'm being laid off in a week. Umm. Ok.

I grab lunch and make a couple of phone calls. I come back and the director guy now asks me if I've talked to the manager. I say yes and I very professionally offer to transition any knowledge in the next few days. He then says, "Give me a couple of weeks. I hear good things about you. But still transition everything by next Wednesday." Basically, he's saying that I'm possibly only temporarily laid off. Umm. Ok.

So to recap. Meeting - Everyone on the team should be fine. Meet with manager - you're let go. Email from manager - you're here until next week. Talk with director - Let me see if I can get you back. Maybe. Yup, that was my day. I'm still out of work as far as I know. But not until next Wednesday. Unless I hear otherwise. I rule.

I had no idea that you liked riding your moped (Sorry, I'm being retarded due to the whole job thing).

2/8/06 The Avalanche

There's a trivia game played on a local radio station in the morning. And like a monkey, I listen to it every morning. One of today's questions was "In Rock Paper Scissors, what is it called when you throw 3 rocks in a row?". I started laughing. I'm convinced that I'm the only person listening who knew. Is that really common knowledge? For the answer and other gambits, read up here.

A little poker discussion. I played in a home game last night. We had 14 people, so we divided into 2 tables of 7. Out of the 6 other players at my table, I had calling stations to both my left and right. The 2 of the other players I would describe as somewhat aggressive and the remaining player was tight. What I want to discuss is strategy. How do you play against people that play too many hands and call you down to the river? They would even raise (albeit small raises) with both great and marginal hands. Bluffing is completely out of the question. I took one stab at a pot with 2 overcards, only to be raised. So, the only stategy I was able to employ is to play premium hands and to bet big with them. Only when I had "the nuts" would I slowplay the hand.

The problem with that strategy? It requires good starting hands (which I had very few of). Even then, I would raise big with AK or AQ. There would be 2 callers and I would miss the flop completely. What then? If I bet, they call me down to the river. If I check, they bet anyways and will continue to bet to the river. To me, this is more frustrating than playing with players who employ sound strategy. I remained short stacked the entire night, forced to go all in with hands like JJ for 10x the big blind. Is there another good option? Raise 3-4x the big blind and bet the flop even if there's an overcard?

So I played super tight last night. Ridiculously tight. And I ended up at the final table and eventually outlasted all of the other short stacks. By the time I was heads up, I think the chip leader had me 12,800 chips to 1,200. Needless to say, I finished 2nd.

Suggestions? Comments? Do you just have to wait for cheap flops and monster hands?

2/7/06 Big Ben

It's good to be Ben Roethlisberger. (Sent by Cousin Eric). Damn, I'm smooth. Wanna stroke my beard?

I'm tired, so that's it for tonight.

Follow Up

A quick follow up from the wildfires yesterday. From this CNN article - "The ash was coming down like snow. I had all the windows and door shut because it was just overwhelming". So, there was no exaggeration on my part. (I'm really posting this for my brother who was very skeptical and called me "Chicken Little" when I told him the story).

2/6/06 Boxed Wine

I used to be a big advocate of boxed wine while in college. Franzia's Chillable Red was probably my favorite. Where else could you get 5 liters of wine for $9? I used to get harassed about it too. Well, my friends, I always knew my day would finally come. I was just ahead of my time. No apologies necessary :)

25,000 year old cave drawings have been found in France. They show stick figures with their hands in the air, waving white flags.

A number of years ago, Cousin Michael figured out a way to get into the Olympics. Curling. He was definitely onto something. Does anybody else feel like working hard for 8 years and making it into the 2014 Winter Olympics with me?

Ask your doctor if you should take Panexa. (Sent by my dad).

On my way to work today I noticed that the sky looked extra hazy off to the east. It looked like one of those disgusting ozone alert days, only worse. Years ago I had some post nuclear war dream and the dream took place in Southern California (which was years before I ever considered living here). So, my imagination took a turn for the worse as I drove into the disgusting haze. Then, about 2 miles from my office, little pieces of white began to fall on car. My first instinct is that it's starting to snow. Then, as I pulled my head out of my ass, realizing that it's 68 degrees out, I start wondering what the hell is going on. And why wasn't any radio station talking about haze and white shit falling out of the sky. As I got into work, dodging little pieces of white crap, I asked security what was going on. She said it was the wildfires caused by the Santa Ana winds. And the white stuff was ash. So, I felt better about the whole situation. And it wasn't some big nuclear winter covered up by a grand government conspiracy, putting a gag order on local radio stations.

But still, wouldn't you think that for a second on the radio somebody would say, "In case you notice a 25-mile long, toxic-looking cloud in the sky with pieces of inexplicable white particles falling on you this morning, don't worry. It's just a wildfire."

2/5/06 Northbrook, Illinois

Cousin Eric tells me that Northbrook, Illinois used to be called Shermerville. It was also called Shermer. I had no idea.

Scientists want to harness the power of the big bang. What could possibly go wrong?

2/4/05 Emergency Food Supply

My home computer is sort of up and running. None of my programs work unless I reinstall them and Microsoft doesn't recognize my version of XP. But I can use the internet (no wireless yet) and my data is safe. So overall I'm happy.

I had no idea - The US used to have an emergency food supply for every man, woman and child for 3 years. Today though, it's not so much.

How do you know Google is in trouble?

Two poker hands today. In both, it's a sit & go table. 10 people start and the top 3 get paid.

First hand - 4 players left. So people usually play pretty tight, waiting for the money. I have 1200 in chips and am in the small blind. Blinds are 100/200. First guy to act folds and he has half of the total chips in play with 4000. The button (who has just about the same in chips as I do) raises to 400. I have 5 5. I put the guy on a steal. I decide that even if he calls, it'll be a coin flip. And most likely he'll fold, so I'll pick up 700 more chips (his bet plus the blinds). With 1900 in chips I'll be in good shape. So, I push all in. To my surprise, the big blind also goes all in and the initial raiser folds (so I'm confident that he didn't have a monster hand). The big blind had KK. I was screwed. So, I think my instincts were right. I just didn't count on the big blind holding a monster.

Second hand - Blinds are 25/50 (my favorite level) and 8 players are left. I'm in the big blind with 950 in chips and hold KJ suited. The first player limps for 50 (who limps under the gun? what could she have? I'm guessing a middle or low pair, hoping to spike a set.) and the small blind limps. I just check to see a flop. 150 in the pot and I have to act 2nd. Flop comes J 10 4 with 2 hearts (I have 2 spades). Small blind checks, I bet 125 with top pair, King kicker, and the initial limper raises quickly to 250. Well, I either have to push all in or fold. There really is no calling option here. What could she have? A set of 4s or 10s? A middle pair? 89? QK? 2 hearts? The only hand that scared me was the set. And I don't think she limps with 10 10 or AJ or an overpair. So I push all in to make it real expensive to draw to her flush or straight. I'm willing to concede if she hit a set of 4s. She thinks for about 10 seconds (which makes me believe I have the best hand, but still don't really want to risk losing to a draw) and she finally calls with QJ offsuit. Great - She's drawing to 3 outs (instead of 8 or 9 for a straight or flush draw). She catches a queen on the turn and I'm out.

2/3/06 Track Your Package

Before I start here, my laptop is still somewhat FUBAR (not to be confused with Foobar as wikipedia suggested). (You could also formulate a Yoda-like argument which states "FUBAR or not FUBAR. There is no "Somewhat FUBAR"). Anyways, this means, that unless I get it fixed in the next 48 hours, no new posts until Monday. And if you're the kind of person that enjoys this kind of problem solving, call me (don't email for obvious reasons). I need help. I'm actually going to use my iPod as backup storage. If you really want the details, like I said, just call.

Am I the only one who loves tracking my packages online? Over the past month, I amassed an order on Amazon and I finally made the purchase on Wednesday. I love seeing where this package is. It's almost as if I still can't believe that anything I ordered is important enough to travel to all of these locations. My $200 order is getting a far nicer vacation than I could ever take for 10 times as much. And it still blows my mind that it's profitable for them to offer me super saver, free shipping. I know, economics of scale. It's still impressive for my feeble mind. My package has gone from Bowling Green, Kentucky to Nashville, Tennessee overnight. I mapped it out. It went 65 miles south in 24 hours. It still has 2016 miles to go. At the rate it's going it'll be here in just over a month (Note, it would be exactly a month if February didn't have 28 days and wasn't so complicated). It also makes me laugh when I see that the order originated like 50 miles from where I live, then gets flown 1000 miles to Nashville, only to make it back to the state where I live. I guess what I learned is that my package checked out of Nashville this morning. And I don't know where it's going. But I'm curious as a cat. That's why my friends call me "Whiskers".

Have fun with your Superbowl plans. Be safe.

2/2/06 Top Ten NFL Teams of All Time

In preparation for Superbowl XL, some website has their Top Ten NFL Teams of All Time.

If you've been trying to email me, my computer mysteriously and suddenly blue screened last night. It's in pretty sad shape right now, but I still have hope that I'll revive it. In the meantime, my lack of communication and online poker is due to that.

Online poker tip of the day - If somebody raises more than half, but not all of his chips, he's looking for a call and has a monster hand. Blinds were 25/50 (I seem to always mess up in this level). Guy under the gun raises to 150. Next guy raise to 500, leaving himself with 275. This is a HUGE red flag. Yet, I'm sitting there with AK suited. I go against my better judgment and push all in. The first raiser also goes all in. The guy with 275 left also calls. The first raiser had JJ (Maybe should've folded to 2 reraises?) and the reraiser had AA. Yup. There are definitely times to fold AK suited. When the guy bet 500 of his 775 chips, it should've been obvious that I was beat (although I put him on QQ and was wrong). A more subtle point is that I could've put the first raiser on AQ or AJ, taking away one of my outs and giving me reason to fold, even if I thought I was up against QQ.

I think the correct would have been - "Yes. As a bag full of cock."

Rock, Paper Scissors is still taking off. This should settle it once and for all - No, it's not just luck. Thanks to my dad for the article.

2/1/06 The Future of Google

It seems as if Google is starting to face the inevitable backlash from becoming too powerful and too big. We all forget how much some of us LOVED Microsoft back in the day. Most of you are going to deny it, but I was there. I saw you all ga-ga over your 386 running Windows. I'm actually old enough to remember what it was like trying to type a paper on some DOS based, hotkey hellhole, text-editing, piece of crap word processor. Only to be very relieved the day I got to use Windows 3.1 with Microsoft Word. I'm not that old, so this really isn't all that long ago. All of the sudden, Microsoft is the poster child of "Evil Empire" (The Yankees no longer own that title. They are just a giant bag of overpaid suckage). But I digress. I think Google is started to face a little bit of that same sort of backlash. In honor of their rapid expansion, some "experts" (don't get me started on that word again) have given their Google Prophecies. How will Google shape our world over the next 100 years?

I email a few people everyday with poker hands that I've played. It's sort of a forum to discuss poker strategy, I suppose. So today I'm going to start talking about hands that I've played. Both good and bad. Last night I "sat down" at a sit & go table online. For those who don't play online poker - There are 10 players at a table, each with 800 chips. Every 10 hands the blinds increase. And the top 3 players get paid out. In level 3, the blinds are 25/50 and I have just about what I started with. Maybe 750 in chips. I play really tight in these games (for reasons I'll talk about in some other post). I'm in the small blind with K 6 offsuit. There were 2 limpers, so I just call, hoping the big blind will check. He does. So, we're seeing the flop 4 handed with nobody showing any real strength. I'm first to act. The flop comes 9 6 6 with 2 spades. Great flop for me. I decide that with 3 people to act after me, I can check raise whoever bets into the pot. I check. 2nd guy checks. 3rd guy bets 150. 4th guy folds. It's back to me. I have to raise, but how much? I'm only really scared of a flush or straight draw. But given the size of the bet, I put the guy on a 9. Maybe Q 9 or J 9. Or he was masking an overpair, since he limped preflop in early position. I'm not particularly scared of any of those hands. So I raise the minimum to 300. He pauses for a long time. Online, that

1) usually means he's going to fold and is just posturing (80% of the time) or
2) he's masking a huge hand and is pretending to think (15% of the time) or
3) is actually overthinking the whole situation and is putting you on a bluff (5% of the time)
(Note: all percentages have just been pulled out of my ass on the fly. They by no means are supposed to be accurate).

He raises me all in. Which makes me believe that he did #2 (huh huh) with a big pair and I'm still not scared. Or #3 with really nothing. So I call his all in.

He had 9 3 offsuit. It's hard for me to believe that he thought he had the best hand, unless he put me on a draw. I probably fold 9 3 there to a raise. At minimum he had to believe I had a 9 with a better kicker. Anyways, I'm ahead huge at that point. He's drawing to 2 outs (the 2 remaining 9s) and he catches one for the bigger full house. My game is over. And I remain frustrated with terrible plays like that. Long term those players can make online poker profitable. But short term, it really steams me that I can wait 25 hands to get involved in a pot post flop, only to lose a proposition that I was 90% to win. Comments on these poker moments are welcome.

This whole poker rant is brought to you by Phil Laak (aka "The Unabomber). His take on cameras in the poker room is very unique. He recommends a book in the article. I actually put that book in my cart at Amazon.com.

Star Wars meets MythBusters.

And finally - Why American Cars Suck.

(P.S. I ran spell check on this blog. Google found about 15 errors, mostly with the poker lingo. I ignored each and every one.)