6/15/07 Where Are All of the During Photos?

As you well know, I have a love/hate relationship with commercials. I absolutely adore the clever, edgy commercials. At the same time, I am sickened by the other 98% of commercials that are just (forgive the British) rubbish. In the, what's becoming frequent, tradition of mind numbing commercials, I am using this post to clear my head of them. It's really more for my own mental and physical well-being. If you're not interested, nobody's forcing you to read this. Just scroll down watch some of the old videos again. I do sometimes. They still make me laugh. One last thing (this is for you, Skooky) - I promise not to post videos of a defensive lineman rapping about furniture. Or underage girls eating ice cream.

• Leed's Mattress - Oh, this is fantastic. They even have their commercial on their website. They start their commercial with "Did you know that 9 out of 10 people need a new mattress?" Where did that stat come from? The Sleep Institute of Pulling Numbers Out of Our Asses?


• The Commerce Casino - Their quote is something like, "What's it like getting pocket aces at the Commerce Casino?" Then they show the guy who has the aces on a roller coaster, all kinds of excited. I have a few problems with this. First, how is getting pocket aces at their casino any different than picking them up at another casino? Second, the dude obviously had a huge hand if his face looks like he's riding a roller coaster. One of my favorite things about poker is knowing when somebody has aces and cracking them. But, most importantly... The flop comes Ace high with 3 diamonds. Sure, he flopped top set. But, his opponent moves in on the turn and the board didn't pair. He insta-calls for, what looks like thousands of dollars. Then the river brings him quad aces. In my mind, I'm hoping that his opponent had the nut flush (they never show) and that Mr. Aces sucked out since he has no idea how to play aces. Note to casino commercials - if you're going to advertise poker, at least make it so the guy holds the nuts when he's donking off his chips.
• Priceline.com - Does William Shatner really need to embarrass himself any more? He's 76 years old. Just go golf. Or do whatever it is you enjoy doing. Unless, wait... Maybe he likes giving an air geriatric karate chop to advertise "half price" specials.


• AIG Auto Insurance - "If you have (any of various other auto insurances), you may be overpaying by hundreds of dollars." (The guy magically disappears off to the right of the screen and pulls a Pac Man and shows up again on the left side). This time he's really in your face and repeats, "HUNDREDS OF DOLLARS". Ok, dude. I got it. How is it that every auto insurance company offers savings over the others? If I had to give it some thought, and choose car insurance based on commercials alone, I would automatically eliminate AIG, Geico (not a big fan of the gecko), Mercury, ESurance (I'm pissed that they used "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" and put E-surance words in there instead). I'm also pissed that I don't know which letters to capitalize in eSurance. Or if there's a hyphen or not. If their name and commercials are this complicated and upsetting, I can only imagine that their roadsides assistance is equally complicated and upsetting. The only auto insurance commercial I remotely like is AllState. Because it gave me faith that President Palmer's assassination didn't really happen. And that he's alive and well, and on the side of the road as some sort of superhero, saving moms and kids from running over construction workers.

------

Try and guess what this commercial is for before they show the product about 1:10 into it.

-----

This commercial would NEVER fly in the states:



------

And finally, here's some comedy to start your weekend with a smile. There's really no video, so plug in your headphones, minimize the window and keep working...