7/25/07 Words of Wisdom

Today I've been thinking about certain words of wisdom many of you have passed along over the years. I'm going to paraphrase the best I can. Feel free to correct any of the quotes. Or misquotes as they may end up being. Also, this could be a work in progress - One that I'll periodically update as I think of more. Feel free to add your own. One last thing - don't be offended if you're not on the list. It can be something to aspire to for future words of wisdom.

• "If logic ruled the world, men would ride sidesaddle." - My Dad


• "Nobody doesn't expect Mexican chupacabras to vacation in the Wisconsin Dells." - Some anonymous commenter 2.5 years ago.


• "Who's cooler than me?" - Cousin Eric


• "Metallica ceased to be Metallica when they started singing 'Please excuse me while I tend to how I feel'." - Roadtrip Joe (Lyrics from "Hero of the Day").


• "Must've been some other ho" - An ex-girlfriend every time I'd recall a story about something I thought she and I did together.


• This one is less quotable. But Mike once and for all convinced me that toilet paper goes OVER and never under. The reason? You don't want to be scraping your knuckles against the wall to find the next square. He's right. Argument settled.


• "The worst way to hit on a girl is with a bat. A hammer is pretty bad, too." - This one is going to remain anonymous for obvious reasons.


• "Life is not a game to be played with a catcher’s mitt on both hands. You have to be able to throw something back once in awhile." Hot Corner Heidi quoting Maya Angelou.


• "Arguing politics is like participating in the Special Olympics. Even if you win, in the end you're still retarded."
  

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You know what I don't get? Other than laid? Is how the U.S. even has a Naval Base at Guantanamo. Cuba doesn't exactly consider the U.S. an ally or friend or anything of that sort. How then did the U.S. carve out a piece of Cuba and say, "Hey, uh, we're just gonna hang out here and do some secret military stuff. Is that cool? Actually, we're not asking. We're just telling at this point." Could you imagine the exact opposite on U.S. soil? Where a bunch of Cuban military officers were just hanging out around Lake Okeechobee?

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Since nobody really seemed to respond to the logic puzzle from the other day, I'm just going to assume that you loved it. Here's another one:



Adam picked up one of his usual, five-card draw poker hands the other night. He noted:


All of the cards were below a jack and no suit was missing.
The cumulative total of the even cards and the odd cards were equal.
The spades totaled 14.
The red cards totaled 10.
The lowest card was a heart.


What was Adam's hand?


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I wanted to post this on Monday in the middle of Harry Potter madness. Thanks to No Longer Neighbor Natalie for helping me find it.