10/31/05 Happy Halloween

Welcome to the beginning of holiday madness. Santa's fat ass now extends back 2 months and butts right up against Halloween. Yay.

Traditions have always irked me a bit. Ok, a lot. I never liked it when I asked "Why?" and the answer is "Because that's what we do." I didn't like it as a kid and I sure as hell don't like it now. I imagine a day when I might have kids and I am up against a conversation like this:

Kid A - "Where are we going?"
Me - "To the grocery store."
Kid B - "What are we gonna buy at the grocery store, daddy?"
Me - "Some things for Halloween."
Kid B - "What kind of things?"
Me - "Two pumpkins. One for each of you. A carving knife to cut them with. Some candy for the trick or treaters. You also need to think about what you want to dress up as this year."
Kid A - "Why do we have to cut the pumpkins?"
Me - "It's a lot of fun. You cut a face into the pumpkin. And you take the seeds out of the pumpkin and eat them."
Kid B - "If it's so much fun, why do we have to wait a whole year to do it?"
Kid A - "Yeah daddy. We should buy a pumpkin tree."
Me - "Uhhh, so, uh, have you thought about your costumes?"
Kid A - "I want to be a pumpkin. Pumpkins are fun, right daddy?"
Kid B - "I want to be a pumpkin, too!"
Me - "What about something scary? Like a vampire or a ghost?"
Kid B - "Why would I want to be a ghost? Those aren't fun. You said this was supposed to be fun. You said pumpkins are fun."
Me - (blank stare)
Kid A - "Why do they give us candy? Why do we say Trick or Treat?"
Me - (continued blank stare)
Kid B - "Can we cut a face into a watermelon too?"
Me - "(about to completely lose it) You know what, kids? Do you want the real answers? It's about economics and marketing. Big corporations make us feel like we have to buy whatever it is they're selling. So they invent traditions. The pumpkin growers make us feel like we have to buy their pumpkins. Hallmark charges you 5 bucks a pop for their lame ass cards. Candy makers... "

At this point I realize that I suck as a dad and understand why adults lied to me growing up. It's just not worth it. It's also a demoralizing moment when I realize that those big corporations will always win. They'll also sell us their crap because it's so much easier to buy into it than question what the hell we're doing and why we're doing it. Like I said, traditions irk me.

I don't follow the NBA a whole lot. I just try and follow it enough to not embarrass myself playing fantasy basketball. In my research for my fantasy team, all I kept reading about was that everybody is picking the Spurs to win the title. Almost as if there's no competition. As you know, I have no faith in experts anymore after what happened during the baseball season. So I decided to check out this Spurs team for myself. I knew they had, arguably the best player in the league, Tim Duncan. And I also knew that they have Ginobli and Tony Parker and Bruce Bowen - They are definitely a talented group. When I checked out their bench, I understood what the experts were talking about. Their bench consists of Nick Van Exel, Brent Barry, Michael Finley, Robert "Big Shot Bob" Horry, Rasho Nesterovic and "Big Dog" Glenn Robinson. Each of those 6 guys could be a valuable starter on any team. Now I get it. The Spurs are loaded.

When my parents came to California to visit, the one thing they noticed above all else is the exorbitant amount of signs. You know, the kind of signs that they write songs about. This one on I-5 going down to San Diego is, well, unique. They also have all sorts of signs on the highways here for "No Littering" and "Carpool Lane Violation" each with a minimum fine. Those minimum fines are always some odd number like $271 or $341. Oh, I have a point here. Here's the newest sign. Just in case you weren't aware of what you should and shouldn't do.