Instead of giving a review (it was like "Airplane!" except it wasn't supposed to be funny), I was trying to figure out how this movie got made. I imagine the brain trust having a discussion like this:
- Alright, we have a 30 million dollar budget to make the summer's big action movie.
- That's fantastic! Joe - you're in tight with Samuel L. Jackson. He'd be great for an action movie!
- He said he'd "only" charge us $9 million if we make the movie in a plane. He's still jealous of Wesley Snipes in "Passenger 57".
- Great. Bob - Do we have any scripts on hand that take place in a plane?
- Damn straight we do. I've got one right on my desk and I hear it's just awesome. It even has deadly snakes on board!
- Wow. Could this get any more perfect? That leaves us with 21 million to spare. What could we possibly do with all that money?
- Why don't we just advertise? We have $20 million left over - so let's just make lots of commercials. This is going to be the greatest movie ever!
- Great idea! Go team! Ready, break.
(20 minutes later)
- Oh shit. We forgot to leave ourselves money for everything else. A set, crew, cast... shit. Oh well, a bunch of no name actors and super shitty computer generated snakes from an Apple IIe will have to do. I wonder if the landlady from "Kingpin" is still around. We'll need her as a flight attendant.
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I just found the sexiest thing ever... Harptallica. Two chicks playing Metallica songs on harps.
1 comment:
In defense of "Snakes on a Plane," they knew it was going to be kitschy junk when they were making it. That's what makes it better than "Armageddon," "Pearl Harbor," "XXX," et al -- all of which are movies that people actually expected to be *good.* If all ridiculous action films would actually own up to the fact that they're ridiculous (like "Snakes on a Plane" did), I might possibly start seeing more action movies.
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