If I needed another reason to be happy about moving to Southern California, I checked the weather forecast in Chicago. After an early morning chill of below zero temperatures, it'll reach a toasty 11 degrees by midday. As for the four people in Chicago who will actually read this - I still love you guys. You're more than welcome to come stay with me for a while. Actually, three of those four people are meeting me on vacation tomorrow. So, this message is actually directed to you. Yes, you. I'm really sorry.
On that note, I am actually going on vacation starting tomorrow. So, barring some sort of super urge for me to find a computer lab and update this blog (Note: probabilty = zero), this will be the last post of 2004. I wish you all a very happy and healthy New Year. I hope that you have fond memories of 2004 and are excited for 2005. Live your life, give from the heart, and make sure that you pursue at least one of your lifelong dreams this year. And have a cheesy plate of nachos...
Peace, love, and nacho happiness,
Mark
Wednesday, December 22, 2004
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
12/21/04 The Forgotten Newsstand
ESPN has created magazine covers that never made the newsstand. My favorite is A-Rod making the cover of Oprah Magazine. There's one picture per page, so you'll have to click the link at the bottom to see the next one.
Despite not being a stoner, I still think that the Wizard of Oz synced up to Pink Floyd's "Dark Side of the Moon" is pretty cool. This guy does too. He points out a whole bunch of coincidences.
Happy Birthday, Dad!
Despite not being a stoner, I still think that the Wizard of Oz synced up to Pink Floyd's "Dark Side of the Moon" is pretty cool. This guy does too. He points out a whole bunch of coincidences.
Happy Birthday, Dad!
Monday, December 20, 2004
12/20/04 Hungry?
Some study has shown that when men are hungry they are attracted to heavier women. Conversely (It's been a good 12 years since I've taken a logic course, so I'm not really sure I'm using the right one), when men are full, they are attracted to thinner women. If the same holds true for women, I still might have a shot at actually finding a girl. Somewhere. Halfway across the world probably.
Speaking of women who won't talk to me - Katie Couric could be replacing Dan Rather on CBS. I had a closet crush on her, but was told by a girl I was dating that she sorta looks like an ex-girlfiend of mine, and then I really freaked out. It was bad enough having a crush on Katie Couric, and even worse admitting it. But to have a current girlfriend think that you're lusting over an ex-girlfriend isn't such a good thing. Especially one that she thinks looks like Katie Couric. So I'm being an idiot tonight and I've decided to post that tidbit of personal information on my blog for the whole world to see and make fun of. Which is probably my biggest mistake of all.
And finally, from the "That would have been good to know TEN YEARS AGO!" department - "Mobile Phone Radiation Harms DNA, New Study Finds"
Speaking of women who won't talk to me - Katie Couric could be replacing Dan Rather on CBS. I had a closet crush on her, but was told by a girl I was dating that she sorta looks like an ex-girlfiend of mine, and then I really freaked out. It was bad enough having a crush on Katie Couric, and even worse admitting it. But to have a current girlfriend think that you're lusting over an ex-girlfriend isn't such a good thing. Especially one that she thinks looks like Katie Couric. So I'm being an idiot tonight and I've decided to post that tidbit of personal information on my blog for the whole world to see and make fun of. Which is probably my biggest mistake of all.
And finally, from the "That would have been good to know TEN YEARS AGO!" department - "Mobile Phone Radiation Harms DNA, New Study Finds"
Sunday, December 19, 2004
12/19/04 End of Year Lists
When I was a kid, one of my favorite things about the end of the year was the reviews you could see on every channel. You know, the top events, the top songs, the top whatever. To this day, I still get stuck watching those types of countdowns. Which is really sad when I get stuck for 5 hours watching the top 100 hair bands of all time. So, without further ado, here are the top 25 most annoying newsmakers of the last year.
I'm not really sure why I'm writing about this. Perhaps it's because I'm consider going back into academics. But this article is about the relationship between growing a beard and being a professor.
Sometimes, I'm amazed that I'm still unemployed. I thought that I might have a skill or two that might be useful. But then I see my competition, and it all seems to make sense.
I'm not really sure why I'm writing about this. Perhaps it's because I'm consider going back into academics. But this article is about the relationship between growing a beard and being a professor.
Sometimes, I'm amazed that I'm still unemployed. I thought that I might have a skill or two that might be useful. But then I see my competition, and it all seems to make sense.
Saturday, December 18, 2004
12/18/04 The Theory of Everything
So you want to know everything. Nova tries to explain String Theory in about 15 paragraphs.
I really can't explain this. I just can't. There are no words that can adequately describe what the hell this is.
The Sports Guy is at it again. He's answering emails. For example:
Q: Can you think of a better sitcom idea than "My Two Dads"? Your mom's dead and she was such a slut, we don't know who your real father is. --Charlie Triemert, St. Paul, MN
While we're on the topic of sports, some writer for MSNBC has an interesting take on the steroid issue.
I ran across a blog dedicated to visual illusions. So instead of sending me gigantic emails with these pictures, they'll all here.
I really can't explain this. I just can't. There are no words that can adequately describe what the hell this is.
The Sports Guy is at it again. He's answering emails. For example:
Q: Can you think of a better sitcom idea than "My Two Dads"? Your mom's dead and she was such a slut, we don't know who your real father is. --Charlie Triemert, St. Paul, MN
While we're on the topic of sports, some writer for MSNBC has an interesting take on the steroid issue.
I ran across a blog dedicated to visual illusions. So instead of sending me gigantic emails with these pictures, they'll all here.
Friday, December 17, 2004
12/17/04 Top Ten Ways to Make a Kid Cry
Seeing as though we're coming up on the holiday season, I know of at least one loyal reader who will appreciate the Top Ten ways to make a 4-year old cry.
I also ran across a meal that will make you live 6 years longer. But it'll give you even more gas than you already have.
And finally, for the musically inclined - Make your own Christmas Carol.
I also ran across a meal that will make you live 6 years longer. But it'll give you even more gas than you already have.
And finally, for the musically inclined - Make your own Christmas Carol.
Thursday, December 16, 2004
12/16/04 Hasidic Reggae Superstar
Thanks to RPS Dave for sending a movie of the Hasidic Reggae Rapper. It's a big file, so it'll take a couple of minutes to load up. Matisyahu's website also has tour dates.
The spoiled brats of baseball look like they're getting everything on their wishlist once again. The Yankees look to be picking up the gem of pitchers, Randy Johnson, in a 3-way deal. Steinbrenner overheard saying, "It finally took a three-way for us to grasp the Big Unit, but now that we have Johnson, our holes are filled".
Pop quiz hotshot. What do Randy Johnson and I have in common? No, it's not that we're two of the ugliest men west of the Mississippi. And it's not that he's called the big unit and I have a, uh, nevermind... The answer is that talks with a potential future employer that once seemed dead are no longer dead. Randy continues talks with the Yankees after a week or two of seemingly nothing. And Google has once again contacted me for another position. Again, say your prayers and send your good vibes. I'm hoping Kiddie Santa comes through for a nice half Jewish boy this year.
The spoiled brats of baseball look like they're getting everything on their wishlist once again. The Yankees look to be picking up the gem of pitchers, Randy Johnson, in a 3-way deal. Steinbrenner overheard saying, "It finally took a three-way for us to grasp the Big Unit, but now that we have Johnson, our holes are filled".
Pop quiz hotshot. What do Randy Johnson and I have in common? No, it's not that we're two of the ugliest men west of the Mississippi. And it's not that he's called the big unit and I have a, uh, nevermind... The answer is that talks with a potential future employer that once seemed dead are no longer dead. Randy continues talks with the Yankees after a week or two of seemingly nothing. And Google has once again contacted me for another position. Again, say your prayers and send your good vibes. I'm hoping Kiddie Santa comes through for a nice half Jewish boy this year.
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
12/15/04 Trends for the New Year
RedHerring.com offers up the top 10 trends for 2005.
If you're a conspiracy theory kinda person, you'll probably find this article very interesting. Jimmy Walter has spent nearly $3 million, or 30% of his net worth, to prove that the September 11th attacks were a government conspiracy. He is offering $100,000 to anyone who can prove that the Twin Towers fell the way that the government says - With the planes only (no explosives involved). Next month he's offering another prize to the best alternative theory with 100 runner up prizes.
And I know this story is a couple of days old, but this guy seems pretty cool. Richard Dorsay lived under a drawbridge on Lake Shore Drive for a few years. He tapped into the city's power supply and had a TV, microwave, heater and a PlayStation.
In other news, Blockbuster is eliminating late fees next year.
My brother (aka "The Nacho Expert") sent me a link to this guy who has a webcam on his Christmas lights. He has 17,000 lights. The kicker is that you can control his lights from this webpage and turn them on and off.
If you're a conspiracy theory kinda person, you'll probably find this article very interesting. Jimmy Walter has spent nearly $3 million, or 30% of his net worth, to prove that the September 11th attacks were a government conspiracy. He is offering $100,000 to anyone who can prove that the Twin Towers fell the way that the government says - With the planes only (no explosives involved). Next month he's offering another prize to the best alternative theory with 100 runner up prizes.
And I know this story is a couple of days old, but this guy seems pretty cool. Richard Dorsay lived under a drawbridge on Lake Shore Drive for a few years. He tapped into the city's power supply and had a TV, microwave, heater and a PlayStation.
In other news, Blockbuster is eliminating late fees next year.
My brother (aka "The Nacho Expert") sent me a link to this guy who has a webcam on his Christmas lights. He has 17,000 lights. The kicker is that you can control his lights from this webpage and turn them on and off.
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
12/14/04 Slingshot Santa
In the spirit of Spear Toss, I present Slingshot Santa. I had one monster toss and I can't remember if it was 343 or 348. Either way, I challenge you to beat those scores and post them here. Just like Spear Toss, it takes a few tries to get the hang of it.
In the spirit of the 80's, I present Old School Commercials. I completely forgot about the annoying Encyclopedia Britannica kid. And I was always a big fan of the Crispy Critters singing dinosaur, alien thing. What ever happened to Bonkers candy? Those things ruled.
In the spirit of Chanukkah, I present a Jewish Miracle.
In the spirit of too much free time, I present the George W. Bush lego mosaic.
In the spirit of the 80's, I present Old School Commercials. I completely forgot about the annoying Encyclopedia Britannica kid. And I was always a big fan of the Crispy Critters singing dinosaur, alien thing. What ever happened to Bonkers candy? Those things ruled.
In the spirit of Chanukkah, I present a Jewish Miracle.
In the spirit of too much free time, I present the George W. Bush lego mosaic.
Monday, December 13, 2004
12/13/04 Nuclear Power
I've always been an advocate of using Nuclear Power. It's probably because I was brainwashed by Professor David Ruzic who taught Nuclear Engineering at the University of Illinois. I'm obviously joking - his class is by far the most memorable of my college years. PBS has an interactive page answering the question "Why do Americans fear nuclear power?"
I learned that "Santa Claus" in Spanish is "Nino Dios" (put the ~ over the n). Or kiddie god??? As usual, ex-business student Patty has done her job and confused me. She told me to ask kiddie god for a job for Christmas. Hey, it can't be worse than anything else I've tried.
And here are the absolute worst greeting cards ever.
I learned that "Santa Claus" in Spanish is "Nino Dios" (put the ~ over the n). Or kiddie god??? As usual, ex-business student Patty has done her job and confused me. She told me to ask kiddie god for a job for Christmas. Hey, it can't be worse than anything else I've tried.
And here are the absolute worst greeting cards ever.
Sunday, December 12, 2004
12/12/04 Scientology
I was driving through an area last night full of scientologists. I really didn't realize it until I crossed L. Ron Hubbard Way. As a kid I thought his name was "Elron Hubbard". Obviously it's not. Something that's also fairly obvious is that his first name must be pretty heinous to not use it.
MSNBC has listed its top 10 movies of the year. I've seen one. Harry Potter. I am so friggin' uncultured.
MSNBC has listed its top 10 movies of the year. I've seen one. Harry Potter. I am so friggin' uncultured.
Saturday, December 11, 2004
12/11/04 You're So Money
I didn't learn a lot today. I learned that The Dresden Restaurant was in Swingers. Thanks to Adam, Scott, and Dave for bringing me there and showing me around Hollywood.
Also, look for Dave in a new Bud Light commercial. He's the guy with the shock collar cuz he's addicted to Bud Light. Some might call it alcoholism, but for Anheuser Busch, it's marketing.
Also, look for Dave in a new Bud Light commercial. He's the guy with the shock collar cuz he's addicted to Bud Light. Some might call it alcoholism, but for Anheuser Busch, it's marketing.
Friday, December 10, 2004
12/10/04 Dirty Sanchez
FINALLY! A Dirty Sanchez T-Shirt.
The movie trailer for "The War of the Worlds " is now out on IFilm. This could possibly be Spielberg's finest film since "The Goonies".
I really never knew why people didn't like Joey Gladstone. Well, someone came up with 10 reasons to hate Joey Gladstone. So, uh, yeah.
This is pretty friggin' sweet illusion. You really have to download the video to get the full effect.
The movie trailer for "The War of the Worlds " is now out on IFilm. This could possibly be Spielberg's finest film since "The Goonies".
I really never knew why people didn't like Joey Gladstone. Well, someone came up with 10 reasons to hate Joey Gladstone. So, uh, yeah.
This is pretty friggin' sweet illusion. You really have to download the video to get the full effect.
Thursday, December 09, 2004
12/9/04 R.I.P. Dimebag Darrell
I'll admit it. I grew up listening to Pantera during my teenage years. And I'm honestly bummed out about the shooting of "Dimebag" Darrell. This is my personal Kurt Cobain / John Lennon / pick your favorite musician who tragically died. I feel the same way about him as I did when I heard that Lane Staley of "Alice in Chains" had died in his apartment. "Dimebag" Darrell has always been considered one of the top guitarists of our generation. Listening to stations play a lot of Pantera's music today made me a little weepy. Rest in Peace, Darrell. Thank you for the music and the memories.
I found a page full of T-Shirts that really made me laugh. If you're not faint of heart, check out T-Shirt Hell.
If you ever have problems with the police, here is a list of your rights and things to do. I guess it's never a bad thing to be too prepared.
I have been sorta, unofficially rejected for the position at Google that I was so hopeful to get for the past couple of weeks. I won't go into the details until I find out for sure. Needless to say, I am very disappointed - I was really looking forward to the opportunity. I want to send a big thank you out to Google Nicki in Toronto for getting this process started.
I found a page full of T-Shirts that really made me laugh. If you're not faint of heart, check out T-Shirt Hell.
If you ever have problems with the police, here is a list of your rights and things to do. I guess it's never a bad thing to be too prepared.
I have been sorta, unofficially rejected for the position at Google that I was so hopeful to get for the past couple of weeks. I won't go into the details until I find out for sure. Needless to say, I am very disappointed - I was really looking forward to the opportunity. I want to send a big thank you out to Google Nicki in Toronto for getting this process started.
Wednesday, December 08, 2004
12/8/04 Ho Ho Ho
It appears that I'm moving along with the "ho" theme. A big thanks to RPS Dave for sending a link to Santarchy. Apparently you have to check this site to find a lodge where you can participate.
It has been one of those "Good news, bad news" kind of days.
Good News - The interviews at Google were overall very positive.
Bad News - Apparently I'm infertile.
Good News - Professor is studying the word "dude". Google Nicki thinks that ex-roomie Mike and I started the craze in the late 90's.
Bad News - Radiohead's "Creep" has now been animated for office life. Ok, it's not bad news, so...
REALLY BAD NEWS - Dimebag Darrell, former guitarist of Pantera, was shot and killed on stage while performing in Columbus, Ohio. He was one of the most talented guitarists I have ever listened to. It feels a little ironic that Mike and I were talking today about how we miss listening to Pantera's "Cemetery Gates".
It has been one of those "Good news, bad news" kind of days.
Good News - The interviews at Google were overall very positive.
Bad News - Apparently I'm infertile.
Good News - Professor is studying the word "dude". Google Nicki thinks that ex-roomie Mike and I started the craze in the late 90's.
Bad News - Radiohead's "Creep" has now been animated for office life. Ok, it's not bad news, so...
REALLY BAD NEWS - Dimebag Darrell, former guitarist of Pantera, was shot and killed on stage while performing in Columbus, Ohio. He was one of the most talented guitarists I have ever listened to. It feels a little ironic that Mike and I were talking today about how we miss listening to Pantera's "Cemetery Gates".
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
12/7/04 What is a Ho?
This is probably my favorite Ken Jennings moment.
Wish me luck on my interview tomorrow. Or shall I say, 6 consective interviews with Google.
Any up for Jesus comics?
I have no idea where I find this stuff. But here's an 'R' Rated IM conversation that made me laugh.
Wish me luck on my interview tomorrow. Or shall I say, 6 consective interviews with Google.
Any up for Jesus comics?
I have no idea where I find this stuff. But here's an 'R' Rated IM conversation that made me laugh.
Monday, December 06, 2004
12/6/04 Yaaargh, Pirate Haikus
Someone went through a whole lot of trouble to make this little animation with pirate haikus.
More gift ideas - No anal stuff this time - This one if for your psycho, nuts friend... Give him the gift of a kidnapping.
I know I've been touting Yahoo's Launchcast for months now. But I don't know if anyone who has tried it has turned back. If you're nice to me, I'll let you check out my station.
In the Good News of the month, NachosRule.com got a very kind email from ChipRitter.com. Chip is such a fan of nachos, that he wrote a drum solo called "Nachos Rule!". Check it out on his webpage.... And to Chip, I'll be in touch soon. Thanks so much for the kind words!
More gift ideas - No anal stuff this time - This one if for your psycho, nuts friend... Give him the gift of a kidnapping.
I know I've been touting Yahoo's Launchcast for months now. But I don't know if anyone who has tried it has turned back. If you're nice to me, I'll let you check out my station.
In the Good News of the month, NachosRule.com got a very kind email from ChipRitter.com. Chip is such a fan of nachos, that he wrote a drum solo called "Nachos Rule!". Check it out on his webpage.... And to Chip, I'll be in touch soon. Thanks so much for the kind words!
Sunday, December 05, 2004
12/5/04 404 Error
I had a long, pretty impressive entry already written for 12/5, but it somehow got erased. Normally I'd, uh, offer up opportunities for improvement, but Blogger is owned by Google. And I just made it to the next round of interviews with them. So, instead, I'll sing my praises for how Google is bringing absurd amounts of information to the masses.
Probably the most important thing I wrote about was that one of my best friends from my 3rd grade class somehow found me on the internet. I saw that someone had linked to NachosRule.com, and so my curiosity got the best of me. You have to realize that most every person that visits this website is either a regular visitor that just types in the name or someone searching on "nachos" and are generally really disappointed.
Long story short, Kyle's website is www.humancartoon.com. All I can say is that even in 3rd grade, Kyle was a very talented artist, and impressed people with his creativity. I'm thrilled to see that he's continued on with his passions. I strongly urge you to check out his work - he's in a rare league of talented individuals.
I think I also posted this wedding at TheKnot.com.
If I happen to remember some of the other facts I learned, I'll post them some other time.
Probably the most important thing I wrote about was that one of my best friends from my 3rd grade class somehow found me on the internet. I saw that someone had linked to NachosRule.com, and so my curiosity got the best of me. You have to realize that most every person that visits this website is either a regular visitor that just types in the name or someone searching on "nachos" and are generally really disappointed.
Long story short, Kyle's website is www.humancartoon.com. All I can say is that even in 3rd grade, Kyle was a very talented artist, and impressed people with his creativity. I'm thrilled to see that he's continued on with his passions. I strongly urge you to check out his work - he's in a rare league of talented individuals.
I think I also posted this wedding at TheKnot.com.
If I happen to remember some of the other facts I learned, I'll post them some other time.
Saturday, December 04, 2004
12/4/04 Roid Rage
ESPN has kindly posted a photo gallery of Barry Bonds from with 18 pictures 1988 to 2004. It's like he went from a Ricky Henderson physique to The Rock from 1995 to 1999.
I gotta give this dude some credit - he's pretty talented. He must have been real popular in the 80s. Either that, or he lives in mullet town.
Are you looking for a holiday deal? I thought so. Pricenoia searches Amazon's sites across the world and compares prices (including international shipping) to find you the best deal.
I found a pretty neat music video type thing on Ian Rhett's website - He wrote a song called "UnAmerican" and put together a video to go along with his song. As a fellow amateur musician, I urge everyone to check out his site and his music.
I gotta give this dude some credit - he's pretty talented. He must have been real popular in the 80s. Either that, or he lives in mullet town.
Are you looking for a holiday deal? I thought so. Pricenoia searches Amazon's sites across the world and compares prices (including international shipping) to find you the best deal.
I found a pretty neat music video type thing on Ian Rhett's website - He wrote a song called "UnAmerican" and put together a video to go along with his song. As a fellow amateur musician, I urge everyone to check out his site and his music.
Friday, December 03, 2004
12/3/04 Young lady, what do you want to be when you grow up?
It only took my 3 days this month to realize I didn't change the date on my watch on "November 31st". I think last time that happened, it took me until about October 11th or so.
Does anyone else want to go to Cooter Fest?
Here's a sports stat from my dad -
"You know that every year since 1995 ... when the Bulls have won at least one game on their west coast trip ... they have won the championship ..."
Followed by - "Something to hope for ..."
Hey, at least we've got the Illini.
Here's another time wasting game just in time for the holidays - Crazy Sleigh 2
From the "Protecting yourself from yourself" files: A cell phone that prevents you from drunk dialing anyone.
Does anyone else want to go to Cooter Fest?
Here's a sports stat from my dad -
"You know that every year since 1995 ... when the Bulls have won at least one game on their west coast trip ... they have won the championship ..."
Followed by - "Something to hope for ..."
Hey, at least we've got the Illini.
Here's another time wasting game just in time for the holidays - Crazy Sleigh 2
From the "Protecting yourself from yourself" files: A cell phone that prevents you from drunk dialing anyone.
Thursday, December 02, 2004
12/2/04 Outfoxed
I came across www.outfoxed.org last night. Its purpose is to inform the public about the agendas of the media. A former FCC attorney puts it best in this video clip - Why you should care. The whole premise behind this page is that a few large corporations, run by an elite few, control what you hear on the radio when you wake up, what you watch on TV over breakfast, what you hear in your car on the way to work, and so on and so forth. If you click on "Clips", there are interviews with people who worked at Fox and they are now speaking out about the hidden agendas that they were given. And many of them feel like they lost their journalistic integrity once they started working for Fox.
In the m0re upbeat section for today, Lycos has unveiled a screensaver that will bombard spammers' IPs, as to eat up their bandwidth. The hope is that millions of people will download the screensaver in order for it to be effective.
And finally, the debate rages on... Pop vs. Soda. Check it out - it's a pretty hardcore study.
For my deep thought of the year - Bluegrasss music is like acoutic metal. Which is why, despite its stigma, it rocks.
In the m0re upbeat section for today, Lycos has unveiled a screensaver that will bombard spammers' IPs, as to eat up their bandwidth. The hope is that millions of people will download the screensaver in order for it to be effective.
And finally, the debate rages on... Pop vs. Soda. Check it out - it's a pretty hardcore study.
For my deep thought of the year - Bluegrasss music is like acoutic metal. Which is why, despite its stigma, it rocks.
Wednesday, December 01, 2004
12/1/04 We know why you fly
Happy December! I hope that either you enjoy the winter and snow (cuz it's here) or you managed to escape somewhere warmer.
Have you ever seen those "We know why you fly" commercials for American Airlines? I'll tell you why I fly - Cuz there's no other way to get where I'm going in less than 4 days. And if there were, I'd be using it. My story from yesterday goes as such. My dad's driving me to the airport, and due to the rain and slush and rush hour, traffic's pretty bad. We finally arrive at the airport just after 6pm for my 6:51 flight. By the time I swipe my card in one of those kiosks, it's 6:14 or so. I receive a notice that I needed to check in 40 minutes prior to my flight. Ok, I'm 37 minutes prior, but the flight's delayed at least 10 minutes already. So I'm really 47 minutes prior.
So I go to the quick line (I'm still a Gold Member or whatever from business travel last year), and they tell me that I can't board my flight because I was 3 minutes late. I begged to differ that I was actually 7 minutes early. She assures me that there's no way my bags will make the flight and prints me a standby ticket for the next and last flight, put tags on my bags and sent me on my way. I had a beer and a chicken sandwich thing to pass the time at O'Hare's Chili's. After the plane boards, this ticket agent lady looks at me. I let her know that I'm waiting for standby. The fortunate part is that I got on the plane and made it back safely.
Now, we're the last plane to land, and I walk to baggage claim. Guess what? My bags were already there. In the open. With a big piece of paper with my name written on them. Early. From a prior flight. The flight they wouldn't let me on because my bags wouldn't make it on board in time. How come this doesn't make their "We Know Why You Fly" campaign? And all I could think at that moment, at something like 1am Chicago time was, "If hate were people, I'd be China".
I guess what I learned is that I don't regret for a second quitting my 100% travel job. And that as old as I get, there's just not enough patience in my being to be lied to like the ticket agent did. On the bright side, I'm back, it's sunny, and today's a new day.
Oh, and I discovered "Cafe Ruba" in Costa Mesa, which has free internet. And lots of people who don't work hang out there to drink coffee and talk about genital piercings and lesbianism. At least that's what I overheard before I put my headphones on.
Have you ever seen those "We know why you fly" commercials for American Airlines? I'll tell you why I fly - Cuz there's no other way to get where I'm going in less than 4 days. And if there were, I'd be using it. My story from yesterday goes as such. My dad's driving me to the airport, and due to the rain and slush and rush hour, traffic's pretty bad. We finally arrive at the airport just after 6pm for my 6:51 flight. By the time I swipe my card in one of those kiosks, it's 6:14 or so. I receive a notice that I needed to check in 40 minutes prior to my flight. Ok, I'm 37 minutes prior, but the flight's delayed at least 10 minutes already. So I'm really 47 minutes prior.
So I go to the quick line (I'm still a Gold Member or whatever from business travel last year), and they tell me that I can't board my flight because I was 3 minutes late. I begged to differ that I was actually 7 minutes early. She assures me that there's no way my bags will make the flight and prints me a standby ticket for the next and last flight, put tags on my bags and sent me on my way. I had a beer and a chicken sandwich thing to pass the time at O'Hare's Chili's. After the plane boards, this ticket agent lady looks at me. I let her know that I'm waiting for standby. The fortunate part is that I got on the plane and made it back safely.
Now, we're the last plane to land, and I walk to baggage claim. Guess what? My bags were already there. In the open. With a big piece of paper with my name written on them. Early. From a prior flight. The flight they wouldn't let me on because my bags wouldn't make it on board in time. How come this doesn't make their "We Know Why You Fly" campaign? And all I could think at that moment, at something like 1am Chicago time was, "If hate were people, I'd be China".
I guess what I learned is that I don't regret for a second quitting my 100% travel job. And that as old as I get, there's just not enough patience in my being to be lied to like the ticket agent did. On the bright side, I'm back, it's sunny, and today's a new day.
Oh, and I discovered "Cafe Ruba" in Costa Mesa, which has free internet. And lots of people who don't work hang out there to drink coffee and talk about genital piercings and lesbianism. At least that's what I overheard before I put my headphones on.
Tuesday, November 30, 2004
11/30/04 Down goes Jennings! Down goes Jennings!
Ken Jennings' unprecedented run of 74 Jeopardy victories has come to an end. Most people I talk to call him a dork. But he's a rich dork, winning over $2,500,000. And they're just jealous. Good job Ken.
For techie people, this movie for the SCSI IPod might be funny.
Oh my dear lord - This could be perhaps the dumbest idea ever.
I'm not really sure how to describe this. Not that it's hard to explain, but rather, it's hard to post for various reasons. Do you want to know how much money you've spent on booze, cigarettes and drugs this year? Try this calculator.
For techie people, this movie for the SCSI IPod might be funny.
Oh my dear lord - This could be perhaps the dumbest idea ever.
I'm not really sure how to describe this. Not that it's hard to explain, but rather, it's hard to post for various reasons. Do you want to know how much money you've spent on booze, cigarettes and drugs this year? Try this calculator.
Monday, November 29, 2004
11/29/04 Know what? YOU suck!
Yale pulled one of the greatest pranks I've ever seen.
The 12 days of Christmas will now cost you $66,334. You wanna know what my true love gave to me? Oh, that's right. I'm single.
The good news item of the day is that scientists have discovered something about the universe. I'd tell you what it is, but I had an aneurysm after reading the first paragraph.
And for those who were part of the "When did California become a state?" conversation. The answer is September 9th, 1850. This was before 19 other states, which makes me wonder how people got from the mainland of 30 states to the newly admitted 31st state, a thousand miles away.
The 12 days of Christmas will now cost you $66,334. You wanna know what my true love gave to me? Oh, that's right. I'm single.
The good news item of the day is that scientists have discovered something about the universe. I'd tell you what it is, but I had an aneurysm after reading the first paragraph.
And for those who were part of the "When did California become a state?" conversation. The answer is September 9th, 1850. This was before 19 other states, which makes me wonder how people got from the mainland of 30 states to the newly admitted 31st state, a thousand miles away.
Sunday, November 28, 2004
11/28/04 Only 4 weeks 'til Christmas
Target's doing a great job of luring people to their website. More holiday gifts ideas for certain members of your family.
I guess I missed this ESPN Commercial with some of the Star Wars characters. My brother says there's one with Darth Vader and Heidi Klum. But I haven't found it yet.
For some reason, I've been on a mission to find video footage of the 1992 Vice Presidential debate with Ross Perot's running mate, Admiral Stockdale. He's the guy who walked around aimlessly when it wasn't his turn to talk and began his first answer, "Who am I? Why am I here?". And let's not forget the quote of the night, "You know, I didn't have my hearing aid turned on. Tell me again." The link on PBS's Website seems to be outsdated. The best I could find is the transcript. Any help here?
I guess I missed this ESPN Commercial with some of the Star Wars characters. My brother says there's one with Darth Vader and Heidi Klum. But I haven't found it yet.
For some reason, I've been on a mission to find video footage of the 1992 Vice Presidential debate with Ross Perot's running mate, Admiral Stockdale. He's the guy who walked around aimlessly when it wasn't his turn to talk and began his first answer, "Who am I? Why am I here?". And let's not forget the quote of the night, "You know, I didn't have my hearing aid turned on. Tell me again." The link on PBS's Website seems to be outsdated. The best I could find is the transcript. Any help here?
Saturday, November 27, 2004
11/27/04 Holidays with the Family
Think you had a tough time with the in-laws this Thanksgiving? This family had it a little worse.
Think you're smart? Try this 3rd grade geography test.
Think you're really smart? Try stumping a computer in a game of 20 questions.
Ok, think you're dumb? At least you're not the dad who set this up for his kids.
Let's end on a positive note. Click here - Feel good about yourself.
Think you're smart? Try this 3rd grade geography test.
Think you're really smart? Try stumping a computer in a game of 20 questions.
Ok, think you're dumb? At least you're not the dad who set this up for his kids.
Let's end on a positive note. Click here - Feel good about yourself.
Friday, November 26, 2004
11/26/04 EBay
One cost conscious shopper bought a $125 Wal Mart gift card on EBay - For $127.51.
The kids who sang on Pink Floyd's "The Wall" are suing for royalites. In other news, you still can't have your pudding if you don't eat your meat.
The kids who sang on Pink Floyd's "The Wall" are suing for royalites. In other news, you still can't have your pudding if you don't eat your meat.
Thursday, November 25, 2004
11/25/04 Happy Thanksgiving
Here's the original Thanksgiving Proclamation by George Washington.
This is a great opportunity for all readers of NachosRule.com to post what you are thankful for. I'll go first...
Things I'm thankful for:
I'm thankful for nachos. The dripping, cheesy wonder that the Lord above has bestowed upon us is enough evidence for me that God is loving and merciful.
From Sports Illustrated - "I'm thankful Ron Artest won't be sharing a Thanksgiving meal with me and my family. Imagine what would happen if he asked for a dinner roll, and someone tossed one in his direction."
This is a great opportunity for all readers of NachosRule.com to post what you are thankful for. I'll go first...
Things I'm thankful for:
I'm thankful for nachos. The dripping, cheesy wonder that the Lord above has bestowed upon us is enough evidence for me that God is loving and merciful.
From Sports Illustrated - "I'm thankful Ron Artest won't be sharing a Thanksgiving meal with me and my family. Imagine what would happen if he asked for a dinner roll, and someone tossed one in his direction."
Wednesday, November 24, 2004
11/24/04 Green Poop
A few people may know my green poop story. Once when I was in Vegas, I signed up for a credit card. And instead of the normal T-Shirt or hat, they offered up a six-pack of Romulan Ale. They hounded me for months afterwards, looking for "more accurate" information, which I, uh, seemed to have forgotten at the time.
But I'll tell you something - I had only 1 of those beers, and my next poop looked like the nuclear fuel rod that gets caught in Homer's shirt during the Simpsons' Intro. Bright glowing green. I repeated the experiment 5 more times (at which point my six pack was gone) with 2 new people. The results were the same. Bright, nuclear fuel rod green poops. We took each others' word for it, of course. The reason I'm recalling this unpleasant story is that the same experiment has been done with Mountain Dew Pitch Black.
You too can participate in the study:
1) Drink two 20-ounce bottles of Mountain Dew Pitch Black over the course of the day.
2) Then, watch your poop.Was your poop green? If so email your findings to helloimslinky@gmail.com
And for my non-poop/anal related story of the day... A very insightful, Stanley Kubrick like, internet movie that Nicki sent. What is Epic?
But I'll tell you something - I had only 1 of those beers, and my next poop looked like the nuclear fuel rod that gets caught in Homer's shirt during the Simpsons' Intro. Bright glowing green. I repeated the experiment 5 more times (at which point my six pack was gone) with 2 new people. The results were the same. Bright, nuclear fuel rod green poops. We took each others' word for it, of course. The reason I'm recalling this unpleasant story is that the same experiment has been done with Mountain Dew Pitch Black.
You too can participate in the study:
1) Drink two 20-ounce bottles of Mountain Dew Pitch Black over the course of the day.
2) Then, watch your poop.Was your poop green? If so email your findings to helloimslinky@gmail.com
And for my non-poop/anal related story of the day... A very insightful, Stanley Kubrick like, internet movie that Nicki sent. What is Epic?
Tuesday, November 23, 2004
11/23/04 Stop the Madness
Ok, one last gift idea from Target. And to Michael, who is looking for something that isn't anally related, sorry man. I'll work on broadening my gift ideas after Thanksgiving.
I guess this little movie could be a gift idea. Check out this clever ad for XBox.
I've been thinking real hard about this. And I can't think of anyone that likes either Rammstein or ASCII animation. But, if you do, here's a clip for you.
Finally, like the rejection hotline, but for AIM.
I guess this little movie could be a gift idea. Check out this clever ad for XBox.
I've been thinking real hard about this. And I can't think of anyone that likes either Rammstein or ASCII animation. But, if you do, here's a clip for you.
Finally, like the rejection hotline, but for AIM.
Monday, November 22, 2004
11/22/04 Turkeys
ESPN presents Sports Turkeys of 2004.
My favorite quote is from Latrell Sprewell after being insulted by the T-Wolves 3-year, $21 million offer. "I have a lot of risk here," he said. "I got my family to feed. Anything could happen."
More gifts for the holidays from Target. This one is for the do-it-yourself-ers.
And if you're into a cabaret, Target has that too.
My favorite quote is from Latrell Sprewell after being insulted by the T-Wolves 3-year, $21 million offer. "I have a lot of risk here," he said. "I got my family to feed. Anything could happen."
More gifts for the holidays from Target. This one is for the do-it-yourself-ers.
And if you're into a cabaret, Target has that too.
Sunday, November 21, 2004
11/21/04 Stealing
From MSN - "How to Steal Wi-Fi and how to keep the neighbors from stealing yours".
Remember the $300 tax cut check we got a couple of years back? Kuwaitis are getting $680 each thanks to high oil prices. And I don't know for sure, but I think $680 goes a lot farther in Kuwait than it does here.
Remember the $300 tax cut check we got a couple of years back? Kuwaitis are getting $680 each thanks to high oil prices. And I don't know for sure, but I think $680 goes a lot farther in Kuwait than it does here.
Saturday, November 20, 2004
11/20/04 Making his list, Checking it twice
Since holiday shopping has now become a severe pain in the ass for most people, I will now make holiday shopping a little easier. Starting today, I will be posting gift ideas on my blog. My first suggestion goes for $36 at Target.
According to NBA rules, any player leaving the bench during a fight gets a minimum 1 game suspension. The Pistons next game will be interesting with only Tayshaun Prince taking the floor.
For whoever doesn't like reading political messages on this site, feel free to call it a day. For the rest, I came across a pretty neat flash file about the 2000 election. Whether it's true or not, who knows... But still, pretty interesting stuff.
According to NBA rules, any player leaving the bench during a fight gets a minimum 1 game suspension. The Pistons next game will be interesting with only Tayshaun Prince taking the floor.
For whoever doesn't like reading political messages on this site, feel free to call it a day. For the rest, I came across a pretty neat flash file about the 2000 election. Whether it's true or not, who knows... But still, pretty interesting stuff.
Friday, November 19, 2004
11/19/04 Bad Boys
If you haven't seen footage of the fight in Detroit tonight, it's worth a look-see. It is probably the sorriest moment in NBA history - As if they weren't having an image probably already.
In honor of Mike Okhurtz, Craven Moorhead, and Jack Mehoff, there's now a website with them all - FunnyNames.com
Children who learn Mandarin Chinese are more likely to be musically inclined.
Finally, one guy put together the 10 best Strongbad emails. Check 'em out - they're pretty good.
In honor of Mike Okhurtz, Craven Moorhead, and Jack Mehoff, there's now a website with them all - FunnyNames.com
Children who learn Mandarin Chinese are more likely to be musically inclined.
Finally, one guy put together the 10 best Strongbad emails. Check 'em out - they're pretty good.
Thursday, November 18, 2004
11/18/04 Coolest thing ever
This is probably the first time I have had two posts in one day. But I have stumbled across what could possibly be the neatest thing I've seen in a long time. Google.com just bought Keyhole.com. You can download a free 7-day trial of Keyhole.
When you use Keyhole, it is like you're the good lord above and can zoom in on any address in the world. Well, not any address, but most major cities are covered. And you can zoom in to about the point where you can tell if your car is in the driveway or not. Then when you enter a new address, you're on some sort of magic carpet that brings you to your next destination. I can't figure out what's more amazing - This software or the fact that we still can't find Bin Laden despite military software that must be better than this.
On a personal, yet sort of related note, I interviewed with Google today. Wish me luck.
When you use Keyhole, it is like you're the good lord above and can zoom in on any address in the world. Well, not any address, but most major cities are covered. And you can zoom in to about the point where you can tell if your car is in the driveway or not. Then when you enter a new address, you're on some sort of magic carpet that brings you to your next destination. I can't figure out what's more amazing - This software or the fact that we still can't find Bin Laden despite military software that must be better than this.
On a personal, yet sort of related note, I interviewed with Google today. Wish me luck.
Wednesday, November 17, 2004
11/18/04 National Treasure
I was watching Mythbusters and they have an episode that was supposed to be based on the new movie, National Treasure. What I learned is the symbology of the Dollar Bill. Like the number 13 is all over the bill. And that I invented the word "symbology". And the reason the pyramid isn't capped is because we're not done building our nation.
And while I'm on the topic of movies, The DaVinci Code will be on the big screen next year. Tom Hanks is being cast to play the main character. I imagined more of a young Indiana Jones type guy. But I'm sure Forrest Gump will pull it off just fine.
It's a little late, but Odd Todd's Halloween Special is out.
I met a recruiter today and he started talking about how 2 days after the election, nobody really cared about politics anymore. Well, in honor of that dude, here's a guy who definitely has a strong opinion.
And while I'm on the topic of movies, The DaVinci Code will be on the big screen next year. Tom Hanks is being cast to play the main character. I imagined more of a young Indiana Jones type guy. But I'm sure Forrest Gump will pull it off just fine.
It's a little late, but Odd Todd's Halloween Special is out.
I met a recruiter today and he started talking about how 2 days after the election, nobody really cared about politics anymore. Well, in honor of that dude, here's a guy who definitely has a strong opinion.
11/17/04 Oh Sylvia!!
If you grew up in the 80's and played Nintendo this might be sorta funny.
My brother and I were trying to figure out how healthy or unhealthy pizza is. And I stumbled across Calorie King in my search for Lou Malnati's Pizza. You can check over 40,000 foods and their nutritional content.
Last night I was talking with some people in the hot tub... Yes, I'm allowed to talk about spending time in a jacuzzi at 9:30 pm on a late November evening... And we started asking each other about earthquakes. Well, I found a map with recent California earthquakes. Yup, they happen all the time.
My brother and I were trying to figure out how healthy or unhealthy pizza is. And I stumbled across Calorie King in my search for Lou Malnati's Pizza. You can check over 40,000 foods and their nutritional content.
Last night I was talking with some people in the hot tub... Yes, I'm allowed to talk about spending time in a jacuzzi at 9:30 pm on a late November evening... And we started asking each other about earthquakes. Well, I found a map with recent California earthquakes. Yup, they happen all the time.
Tuesday, November 16, 2004
11/16/04 Eating Healthy
Thanks to Mike for sending an MSN article about the new burger from Hardee's. My roommates in college used to make Hardee's runs every so often. Their Frisco Burger has nothing on this new guy.
The annual Leonid Meteor Showers are now overhead. According to Space.com, the showers will best be seen tonight into Wednesday morning. To get the best view, you need to avoid city lights. And in North America, you're in luck if you live on the east coast. But even if you live further west, you can still see up to 20 to 40 meteors per hour.
The annual Leonid Meteor Showers are now overhead. According to Space.com, the showers will best be seen tonight into Wednesday morning. To get the best view, you need to avoid city lights. And in North America, you're in luck if you live on the east coast. But even if you live further west, you can still see up to 20 to 40 meteors per hour.
Monday, November 15, 2004
11/15/04 Power to the People
I want to thank whoever posted the lastest comment on 11/13/04. This loyal reader has submitted some good links and it wouldn't be fair that they get overlooked. And even though we may disagree, it's a pleasure to see a new comment. Please, go ahead and post. And don't be shy - you don't have to remain anonymous.
At first I thought this article was about nacho eating ettiquette. As it turns out, it's not.
For baseball fans, ESPN has a handy free agent tracking tool. So far, two guys have signed, including Omar Vizquel. Once again, the White Sox are moving to Plan B. Don't be surprised to see them on Plan G by Thanksgiving.
At first I thought this article was about nacho eating ettiquette. As it turns out, it's not.
For baseball fans, ESPN has a handy free agent tracking tool. So far, two guys have signed, including Omar Vizquel. Once again, the White Sox are moving to Plan B. Don't be surprised to see them on Plan G by Thanksgiving.
Sunday, November 14, 2004
11/14/04 Maynard James Keenan
Just when I thought that Maynard James Keenan (Lead singer of Tool and A Perfect Circle) couldn't get any stranger, I found a video of his new song, a remake of John Lennon's "Imagine". Consider this fair warning - If you're not into political statements or awkward remakes of classisc songs, you probably should watch the video.
On a side note, I think the guy's a musical genius and would be most honored to meet him.
On a side note, I think the guy's a musical genius and would be most honored to meet him.
Saturday, November 13, 2004
11/13/04 "If we're evil, it's new to us"
If you hadn't noticed, I'm a fan of Jon Stewart and the Daily Show. Here's a good clip of him watching Bill O'Reilly interview the President.
In honor of Ol' Dirty Bastard's passing, I present hip hop artists' real names. Like Biz (Oh baby YOU.... You got what I neeee-eeeed) Markie is really Marcel Hall. Ice Cube is Oshea Jackson. And Sisqo (that thon-th-thong-thong-thong) is Mark Andrews.
In honor of Ol' Dirty Bastard's passing, I present hip hop artists' real names. Like Biz (Oh baby YOU.... You got what I neeee-eeeed) Markie is really Marcel Hall. Ice Cube is Oshea Jackson. And Sisqo (that thon-th-thong-thong-thong) is Mark Andrews.
Friday, November 12, 2004
11/12/04 Mensa
Average IQ by state. I don't make any claims as to whether this page is factual or a load of BS. Just interesting.
A big thanks to Kate for linking to NachosRule.com. I will continue to link back to as many referrers as I know are linking to us.
Some pretty good nutty Japanese art.
A big thanks to Kate for linking to NachosRule.com. I will continue to link back to as many referrers as I know are linking to us.
Some pretty good nutty Japanese art.
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
11/11/04 Mmmm... Beer
Like the Subserviant Chicken, only cuter and less creepy. Go ahead - Be creative. She does much more than serve beer. Post your favorite commands here. So far, my favorite one is "hummer".
Ever wonder what Michael Jackson would look like without surgery? Me neither.
Ever wonder what Michael Jackson would look like without surgery? Me neither.
11/10/04 Oh Wow! A police chase!
I just got my cable installed and the first thing that comes on TV is a police chase. You know the kind I'm talking about. The kind you see on those crappy Fox shows that always seem to happen in California. I forgot to add police chases on the news as one of the reasons to move to Southern California. Which has been quickly countered by seeing the Lakers on channel 9.
The just caught the chick. And they sent a dog into the car and it just brought something back. And I guess I just missed the Simpsons to watch the chase for 40 minutes.
The just caught the chick. And they sent a dog into the car and it just brought something back. And I guess I just missed the Simpsons to watch the chase for 40 minutes.
Tuesday, November 09, 2004
11/9/04 Number 54
Brian Urlacher is the man. It's about time Chicago had an athlete to look up to.
Otherwise, Chicago sports is the pits. Which is why my post ends here.
Otherwise, Chicago sports is the pits. Which is why my post ends here.
Monday, November 08, 2004
11/8/04 Trip Recap
Now that I'm a little settled and a little more awake I remembered a few more things that I saw along the way.
Probably the coolest thing I did was get my fortune read by Zoltar. My fortune reads "So the devil has been hounding you, and given you restless days and sleepless nights? Well, as this will soon be a thing of the past. A new turn of events will soon come about. A happy reunion with a loved one will make life all that you ever wanted it or dreamed it to be." A reunion with a loved one in California ought to be interesting. Zoltar also told me to come back.
I also passed Zzyzx Road on I-15. I just thought that was a fun name.
Oh, and newest on my shitlist - Adelphia cable. They were supposed to install cable yesterday between 1 and 3 pm. So I sat around from 1 until 4. The lady I set the appointment up with didn't answer her phone, didn't return any calls and didn't answer the pages. So, if everyone who has a cell phone or cheap long distance will do me a favor and call Veronica Charley at 949-400-5969 and see what's up with my cable, we can probably get this set up :) If she doesn't answer, you can also page her at 877-710-7451. Thanks a ton.
Probably the coolest thing I did was get my fortune read by Zoltar. My fortune reads "So the devil has been hounding you, and given you restless days and sleepless nights? Well, as this will soon be a thing of the past. A new turn of events will soon come about. A happy reunion with a loved one will make life all that you ever wanted it or dreamed it to be." A reunion with a loved one in California ought to be interesting. Zoltar also told me to come back.
I also passed Zzyzx Road on I-15. I just thought that was a fun name.
Oh, and newest on my shitlist - Adelphia cable. They were supposed to install cable yesterday between 1 and 3 pm. So I sat around from 1 until 4. The lady I set the appointment up with didn't answer her phone, didn't return any calls and didn't answer the pages. So, if everyone who has a cell phone or cheap long distance will do me a favor and call Veronica Charley at 949-400-5969 and see what's up with my cable, we can probably get this set up :) If she doesn't answer, you can also page her at 877-710-7451. Thanks a ton.
Sunday, November 07, 2004
11/7/04 "Made up my mind to make a new start...
... Going to California with an achin' in my heart" - Led Zeppelin
Well. my friends, 2100 miles and 36 hours in the car later, I've made it. It's been a relatively peaceful drive. The weather held out pretty nicely. I couldn't have asked for a smoother journey.
But I've gotta ask - Does every friggin' person in Los Angeles go to Vegas on the weekend? What was with the traffic between Vegas and LA??? The freeway was packed for 280 miles. Is there really nothing better to do on the weekends?
I'm pretty tired and am hard pressed to write anything remotely interesting or funny. But come visit if you can. You can have my bed. This couch I'm sitting on is awfully comfortable and I'll gladly give up my bed for some good company. And thanks to whoever's internet I'm stealing right now. I love wireless.
Well. my friends, 2100 miles and 36 hours in the car later, I've made it. It's been a relatively peaceful drive. The weather held out pretty nicely. I couldn't have asked for a smoother journey.
But I've gotta ask - Does every friggin' person in Los Angeles go to Vegas on the weekend? What was with the traffic between Vegas and LA??? The freeway was packed for 280 miles. Is there really nothing better to do on the weekends?
I'm pretty tired and am hard pressed to write anything remotely interesting or funny. But come visit if you can. You can have my bed. This couch I'm sitting on is awfully comfortable and I'll gladly give up my bed for some good company. And thanks to whoever's internet I'm stealing right now. I love wireless.
Saturday, November 06, 2004
11/6/04 Vegas Baby
A big, big thank you to Norma and Pinche Edgar for putting me up for 2 nights in Vegas. Kinder people cannot be found. And I'm not just saying that because of Norma's world class Mexican cooking - She taught me how to make my own hot sauce. My new toilet in California will get a rude christening, I'm sure.
Big casinos now have penny slots. And the fun ones like "Men in Black", where you get to play little side games every so often. Those were right my unemployed alley.
Big casinos now have penny slots. And the fun ones like "Men in Black", where you get to play little side games every so often. Those were right my unemployed alley.
Friday, November 05, 2004
11/5/04 Beaver
I had never been so happy to see Beaver. This might come as a surprise, but this Beaver was a sight to behold. The story goes that I had gone about 150 miles since my last fill up when I passed a gas station. No need to get gas, right? Well, after my odometer reached 300 miles, I started to get a little worried. Especially since the next city on the roadsigns was another 85 miles away. I'm not quite sure I would have made it that far.
Which is where Beaver came into play. Beaver, Utah sprang out of nowhere. An oasis in an otherwise barren, mountainous landscape of beautiful Utah. I know this story sounds lame, but I was seriously concerned that I was going to run out of gas in the middle of the desert mountain highway. And there were definitely stretches of road with no services for 150 miles or more. And no cell phone reception in just about the entire state. But seriously, I recommend a visit to Utah for the scenery. It is absolutely breathtaking. I've never seen stars at night like I once did camping near Arches National Park.
Which is where Beaver came into play. Beaver, Utah sprang out of nowhere. An oasis in an otherwise barren, mountainous landscape of beautiful Utah. I know this story sounds lame, but I was seriously concerned that I was going to run out of gas in the middle of the desert mountain highway. And there were definitely stretches of road with no services for 150 miles or more. And no cell phone reception in just about the entire state. But seriously, I recommend a visit to Utah for the scenery. It is absolutely breathtaking. I've never seen stars at night like I once did camping near Arches National Park.
Thursday, November 04, 2004
11/4/04 Mile High
I realize that this week is turning into a travel journal. But given the quality of my facts lately, this is a refreshing change for me.
My first stop today was at Fort Kearney, Nebraska. I told my brother that the river was 7.7 feet deep, so I caulked my wagon and forded it. I lied. I really paid an indian to ferry us across. I also rested 2 days, got dysentery and traded 2 sets of clothes for 400 bullets. The bullets came in handy later in the day. I got pissed though that I shot 2 buffalo and a squirrel and could only carry 100 pounds back to my car, er, wagon.
After an entire day of almost continuous 75 mph speed limits, a gas station in nowheresville, Colorado that had a green plastic dinosaur out front, and 10 hours on the road, I find myself in Kobe-ville. The only difference between me and Kobe is that there's nobody in my room here in Eagle. That and I'm white. And he's famous. And he's really good at basketball. And he's a douchebag.
Finally, I-70 W through Denver is nuts, especially at night. Not only are you climbing to 10,000 feet through the twists and turns of the mountains, but there's a MINIMUM speed limit of 55 mph. I had to floor it to keep from getting a (whatever the opposite of speeding is) ticket. Oh, and there are tight downhill turns where the speed limit around the corner gets reduced from 75 to 70. There's really no need for cops to pull over speeders here. You're not topping 60 around those bends without dying.
Tomorrow - Vegas, baby.
My first stop today was at Fort Kearney, Nebraska. I told my brother that the river was 7.7 feet deep, so I caulked my wagon and forded it. I lied. I really paid an indian to ferry us across. I also rested 2 days, got dysentery and traded 2 sets of clothes for 400 bullets. The bullets came in handy later in the day. I got pissed though that I shot 2 buffalo and a squirrel and could only carry 100 pounds back to my car, er, wagon.
After an entire day of almost continuous 75 mph speed limits, a gas station in nowheresville, Colorado that had a green plastic dinosaur out front, and 10 hours on the road, I find myself in Kobe-ville. The only difference between me and Kobe is that there's nobody in my room here in Eagle. That and I'm white. And he's famous. And he's really good at basketball. And he's a douchebag.
Finally, I-70 W through Denver is nuts, especially at night. Not only are you climbing to 10,000 feet through the twists and turns of the mountains, but there's a MINIMUM speed limit of 55 mph. I had to floor it to keep from getting a (whatever the opposite of speeding is) ticket. Oh, and there are tight downhill turns where the speed limit around the corner gets reduced from 75 to 70. There's really no need for cops to pull over speeders here. You're not topping 60 around those bends without dying.
Tomorrow - Vegas, baby.
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
11/3/04 - America's Heartland
I'm a little tired and started feeling bad for myself. Then I started thinking about people who REALLY had a bad day. Like Yasser Arafat, who, um, is almost dead. And George Bush, who woke up realizing that he actually has to clean up the mess he's made. That all made my disappointment in my fantasy team and the fact that I have to spend the night alone in Omaha seem a trivial.
I now understand why this part of America is called The Heartland. It's because "Flat fucking nothing for a thousand miles" doesn't sound as good. I also tried to make a joke that I drove through heaven. And you say, no, it's Iowa. But my brother already told me my joke sucked. And if you're the first to name the movie that's from, you get a point. And if you can somehow make that joke funny, you get two points.
I now understand why this part of America is called The Heartland. It's because "Flat fucking nothing for a thousand miles" doesn't sound as good. I also tried to make a joke that I drove through heaven. And you say, no, it's Iowa. But my brother already told me my joke sucked. And if you're the first to name the movie that's from, you get a point. And if you can somehow make that joke funny, you get two points.
Monday, November 01, 2004
11/2/04 Down with the government!
In honor of election day, I decided to exercise my freedom of speech in a bit of an excessive way. Today, my friends, I write about the Fluoride Conspiracy.
65.8% of all public water systems in the US is fluoridated. As children, we were told that fluoride prevents cavities and decay. Which is why it is in our water as well as in our toothpaste. I even had fluoride treatments at the dentist growing up. Fluoride occurs naturally in rocks in very small percentages, but before the US government insisted on dumping fluoride (also the main ingredient in rat poison) into our water system, it was nearly impossible for a human in the US to put fluoride in his or her body.
Ok, fluoride appears to prevent cavities... But what else does it do for us?
As seen in China and India where fluoride is at toxic levels in some water supplies, "Long-term exposure to excessive doses of fluoride causes bow-leggedness, arthritis, paralysis and makes people into hunchbacks."
Fluoride is also linked to lower IQs. "Fluoride crosses the blood-brain barrier producing biochemical and functional impairment of the nervous system during the developmental periods of infancy and childhood"
And probably the most interesting side effect is that studies have shown that fluoride causes a SEDATIVE EFFECT. Hmm... Curious... why would anyone want to introduce a sedative into the public water supply???
Among the countries that reject the idea of adding fluoride to the drinking water are Germany, Switzerland, the Netherlands, Sweden, Denmark, Finland, Norway, Iceland, Belgium, Austria and France.
Oh, and where did all of this fluoride come from? It was needed for the Manhattan Project back during WWII. Fluoride was required for the atomic bomb. So guess who had stockpiles of fluoride after the war? That's right - big business. So DuPont stood to make a killing if we could somehow introduce fluoride into our lives. Voila - toothpaste now with fluoride.
Well, I did just learn this today. So again, in honor of the most important election of my lifetime (and I'm sure yours too), I am speaking freely in a nation that holds the right to free speech very dear. So, get up, get showered, brush your teeth, and go vote. Or don't. It's cool.
For additional resources, check out these sites:
http://www.geocities.com/northstarzone/FLUORIDE.html
http://www.fluoridealert.org/health.htm
http://www.rvi.net/~fluoride/000055.htm
65.8% of all public water systems in the US is fluoridated. As children, we were told that fluoride prevents cavities and decay. Which is why it is in our water as well as in our toothpaste. I even had fluoride treatments at the dentist growing up. Fluoride occurs naturally in rocks in very small percentages, but before the US government insisted on dumping fluoride (also the main ingredient in rat poison) into our water system, it was nearly impossible for a human in the US to put fluoride in his or her body.
Ok, fluoride appears to prevent cavities... But what else does it do for us?
As seen in China and India where fluoride is at toxic levels in some water supplies, "Long-term exposure to excessive doses of fluoride causes bow-leggedness, arthritis, paralysis and makes people into hunchbacks."
Fluoride is also linked to lower IQs. "Fluoride crosses the blood-brain barrier producing biochemical and functional impairment of the nervous system during the developmental periods of infancy and childhood"
And probably the most interesting side effect is that studies have shown that fluoride causes a SEDATIVE EFFECT. Hmm... Curious... why would anyone want to introduce a sedative into the public water supply???
Among the countries that reject the idea of adding fluoride to the drinking water are Germany, Switzerland, the Netherlands, Sweden, Denmark, Finland, Norway, Iceland, Belgium, Austria and France.
Oh, and where did all of this fluoride come from? It was needed for the Manhattan Project back during WWII. Fluoride was required for the atomic bomb. So guess who had stockpiles of fluoride after the war? That's right - big business. So DuPont stood to make a killing if we could somehow introduce fluoride into our lives. Voila - toothpaste now with fluoride.
Well, I did just learn this today. So again, in honor of the most important election of my lifetime (and I'm sure yours too), I am speaking freely in a nation that holds the right to free speech very dear. So, get up, get showered, brush your teeth, and go vote. Or don't. It's cool.
For additional resources, check out these sites:
http://www.geocities.com/northstarzone/FLUORIDE.html
http://www.fluoridealert.org/health.htm
http://www.rvi.net/~fluoride/000055.htm
11/1/04 Whine of the Week
From my dad - Whine of the Week
Also, I realize the link to the toothbrushes from yesterday doesn't work. But if you right click and "Save Target As", it'll download.
Speaking of 'right click and "Save Target As",' all things Russian seems to bring a smile to my face. I read somewhere that they were about to nuke us, but were too busy watching this show.
On a personal note, I'm still moving in a couple of days. I'm starting a new sections with pictures called "Nachos on the Road".
From the bottom of this article...
So how did the Boston Red Sox really beat the New York Yankees?
According to first baseman Kevin Millar, the team had an ally named Jack Daniel.
On Friday's edition of Fox's Best Damn Sports Show Period, Millar noted it was about 35 degrees at Yankee Stadium before Game 6.
"I got a thing of Jack Daniel's and we all did shots for about 10 minutes before the game. And we won," Millar recalled.
"So Game 7 came and we had to do shots of Jack Daniel's. And we won the game."
Millar said he was thankful the Red Sox won the World Series in four games "because the Jack Daniel's shots were starting to kill me."
And finally, most people would say it's my social responsibility to say to get out tomorrow and vote. But I say, do whatever you want tomorrow. If you feel strongly about voting, go for it. If you feel strongly about not voting, do that too. A childhood friend gave me the best advice I've ever received. He always said, "You do what you want to do and you don't do what you don't want to do". Good advice.
Also, I realize the link to the toothbrushes from yesterday doesn't work. But if you right click and "Save Target As", it'll download.
Speaking of 'right click and "Save Target As",' all things Russian seems to bring a smile to my face. I read somewhere that they were about to nuke us, but were too busy watching this show.
On a personal note, I'm still moving in a couple of days. I'm starting a new sections with pictures called "Nachos on the Road".
From the bottom of this article...
So how did the Boston Red Sox really beat the New York Yankees?
According to first baseman Kevin Millar, the team had an ally named Jack Daniel.
On Friday's edition of Fox's Best Damn Sports Show Period, Millar noted it was about 35 degrees at Yankee Stadium before Game 6.
"I got a thing of Jack Daniel's and we all did shots for about 10 minutes before the game. And we won," Millar recalled.
"So Game 7 came and we had to do shots of Jack Daniel's. And we won the game."
Millar said he was thankful the Red Sox won the World Series in four games "because the Jack Daniel's shots were starting to kill me."
And finally, most people would say it's my social responsibility to say to get out tomorrow and vote. But I say, do whatever you want tomorrow. If you feel strongly about voting, go for it. If you feel strongly about not voting, do that too. A childhood friend gave me the best advice I've ever received. He always said, "You do what you want to do and you don't do what you don't want to do". Good advice.
Sunday, October 31, 2004
10/31/04 Overclocking
First off, Happy Halloween. Some kiddies came by to trick or treat (as would be expected). Then I saw them get into their mom's minivan to drive to the next house. That HAS to be a party foul! If they're going to be eating candy for the next 3 weeks, the least they can do is WALK to the next house. Next year if I see that, I'm going ballistic. No walking, no candy. You heard it here first.
These Halloween memories also got me thinking about a couple of other events from my youth. One being that my more technically savvy friends used to 'overclock' their computers. So they'd buy a 50 MHz chip, supercharge the fucker, and make it go 58 MHz or something. Which always made me a little jealous. The first question that probably comes to mind is - where are these techie geniuses today? I found 'em - They're overclocking their toothbrushes (give it a minute to load up).
These Halloween memories also got me thinking about a couple of other events from my youth. One being that my more technically savvy friends used to 'overclock' their computers. So they'd buy a 50 MHz chip, supercharge the fucker, and make it go 58 MHz or something. Which always made me a little jealous. The first question that probably comes to mind is - where are these techie geniuses today? I found 'em - They're overclocking their toothbrushes (give it a minute to load up).
Saturday, October 30, 2004
10/30/04 Free Burrito!!!!
Thanks Mike - Chipotle's free burrito deal. AND also from Mike, the Camo Phone.
Thanks Cousin Jeff - We're not here looking for trouble, we just came to do the Superbowl Shuffle.
New Yeti Game!!!! - My top score is 4519. This one's "ok" on a scale of sucks balls to fuck yeah.
Thanks Cousin Jeff - We're not here looking for trouble, we just came to do the Superbowl Shuffle.
New Yeti Game!!!! - My top score is 4519. This one's "ok" on a scale of sucks balls to fuck yeah.
Friday, October 29, 2004
10/29/04 WWJDD?
In my 5 days away, probably the most fun thing I missed/learned is Johnny Damon's following across the country. We can now ask WWJDD (What would Johnny Damon Do?).
I also learned that San Diego Jennifer makes kick ass nachos. Pictures will be up shortly.
The Department of Homeland Security is using its funds and time wisely by cracking down on Communist Rubik's Cubes.
And finally, in case you haven't heard, I'm moving to California next week. I tried sending out an email to everyone, but I had my share of problems with that, so if you didn't get it, it wasn't for lack of effort. So the gaps in my "Something I learned Today" will continue on and off until I get settled. Oh, and if you live in Southern California or have friends out there, send me an email - I know all of about 3 people right now. Nachos are on me.
I also learned that San Diego Jennifer makes kick ass nachos. Pictures will be up shortly.
The Department of Homeland Security is using its funds and time wisely by cracking down on Communist Rubik's Cubes.
And finally, in case you haven't heard, I'm moving to California next week. I tried sending out an email to everyone, but I had my share of problems with that, so if you didn't get it, it wasn't for lack of effort. So the gaps in my "Something I learned Today" will continue on and off until I get settled. Oh, and if you live in Southern California or have friends out there, send me an email - I know all of about 3 people right now. Nachos are on me.
Sunday, October 24, 2004
10/24/04 It's all about the Benjamins
Wanna know what strippers really think about??? I thought you might.
Well, I haven't learned a whole lot today, but here's some magnifying glass, burning people kind of game that's fun for about 20 seconds.
I also found some sorta cool website - Heavy.com. I honestly lack any motivation to explain it. But there ya go.
Well, I haven't learned a whole lot today, but here's some magnifying glass, burning people kind of game that's fun for about 20 seconds.
I also found some sorta cool website - Heavy.com. I honestly lack any motivation to explain it. But there ya go.
Saturday, October 23, 2004
10/23/04 I could teach you but I'd have to charge
I'm watching the World Series and Pujols (pron. "Poo Holes") just came to bat. That's it. He just got a 2 out double off of Roy Hobbs, er, Curt Schilling.
I'm really writing this on the 24th, but I was away, so let's pretend for a second that I wrote this yesterday. Congratulations to Cousin Michael and Rachelle on their marriage. Only in our family would Neil Diamond's "Coming to America" bring everyone out on the dancefloor. And only at their wedding would they be cool playing "Milkshake". Damn right, it's better than yours.
What I learned that night is of great importance. I witnessed the pick-up power of men in tuxes and suits in bars. For probably the first time, well ever, people actually talked to people in my family. It was a sight to behold. I also learned that telling a girl that you got stood up at the alter might make her cry. Next thing you know, you'll be making 12 year old kids cry on a basketball court.
I'm really writing this on the 24th, but I was away, so let's pretend for a second that I wrote this yesterday. Congratulations to Cousin Michael and Rachelle on their marriage. Only in our family would Neil Diamond's "Coming to America" bring everyone out on the dancefloor. And only at their wedding would they be cool playing "Milkshake". Damn right, it's better than yours.
What I learned that night is of great importance. I witnessed the pick-up power of men in tuxes and suits in bars. For probably the first time, well ever, people actually talked to people in my family. It was a sight to behold. I also learned that telling a girl that you got stood up at the alter might make her cry. Next thing you know, you'll be making 12 year old kids cry on a basketball court.
Friday, October 22, 2004
10/22/04 Reverse the Curse
I'm going to admit that I've gotten wrapped up in the baseball playoffs this year. In each and every series I have had a favorite. As usual I am going to recommend reading The Sports Guy's Archive. He has written some unique insight into every game of the ALCS.
As for the rest of Boston, World Series tickets are coming at a premium - With no pun intended, there are even posts on Craiglist.
You can talk about Babe Ruth or the Goat all you want.... Cousin Jeff sent an article about the REAL curse.
Fidel Castro fall down, go boom.
What happens when you combine He-Man and the Big Lebowski? Uh, this.
As for the rest of Boston, World Series tickets are coming at a premium - With no pun intended, there are even posts on Craiglist.
You can talk about Babe Ruth or the Goat all you want.... Cousin Jeff sent an article about the REAL curse.
Fidel Castro fall down, go boom.
What happens when you combine He-Man and the Big Lebowski? Uh, this.
Thursday, October 21, 2004
10/21/04 Who Am I?
I'm not talking about the Jackie Chan classic. I'm talking about the Myers-Briggs personality test. I took the test once in college, and I took it again yesterday to see if it stayed the same. It did. In fact, I learned quite a bit about myself by taking the test and reading the results. I learned about famous people with the same personality (there are 16 total personalities according to this test). I learned many of the reasons for my strengths and weaknesses. And I learned what professions suit me best, which is probably the greatest outcome.
I strongly recommend that you take the 3 minutes to honestly answer the Myers-Briggs test. I would be curious to know what personality you are. And I'll let you know that I am INTP (which will make more sense once you take it). Based on your personality you and I may or may not get along.
I strongly recommend that you take the 3 minutes to honestly answer the Myers-Briggs test. I would be curious to know what personality you are. And I'll let you know that I am INTP (which will make more sense once you take it). Based on your personality you and I may or may not get along.
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
10/20/04 Champions
The Rock Paper Scissors World Championships were held this past weekend in Toronto, Canada. Once again the trophy remains north of the border. A hearty congratations to Lee Rammage and all of the winners. Also, here's the photo gallery.
RPS Dave sent me Nickelodeon's Kid's Vote. According to Linda Ellerbee, "Kids aren't dumb, they're just younger and shorter". George Carlin takes a little bit different perspective - "Not all children are smart and clever, got that? Kids are like any other group of people: a few winners...a whole lot of losers".
RPS Dave sent me Nickelodeon's Kid's Vote. According to Linda Ellerbee, "Kids aren't dumb, they're just younger and shorter". George Carlin takes a little bit different perspective - "Not all children are smart and clever, got that? Kids are like any other group of people: a few winners...a whole lot of losers".
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
10/19/04 Gettin' Down
I've been known to bitch and moan about music today. I long for the days of the return of 90's grunge rock and 70's classic rock. After watching this video, I am going to admit that I might be wrong in my assessment.
Remember the Blue Oyster Bar from Police Academy? Good. Michael Winslow hosts this sort of ok Sound Based Movie Trivia.
You may also remember that a while back I had links to Communist Smurf and Mario Brothers pages. Now, the Wario Brothers are Nazis.
Remember the Blue Oyster Bar from Police Academy? Good. Michael Winslow hosts this sort of ok Sound Based Movie Trivia.
You may also remember that a while back I had links to Communist Smurf and Mario Brothers pages. Now, the Wario Brothers are Nazis.
Monday, October 18, 2004
10/18/04 You Forgot Poland
"You forgot Poland" - Be sure to check out GW's test about 1/3 of the way down the page.
I know, this fact sucks. I just forgot to write something yesterday and I'm making it up by linking to the first webpage I came to.
Oh, and while I'm thinking about it, nobody's answered the trivia question from the NachoContest (see link to the right). Hint #1 - It's a football team.
I know, this fact sucks. I just forgot to write something yesterday and I'm making it up by linking to the first webpage I came to.
Oh, and while I'm thinking about it, nobody's answered the trivia question from the NachoContest (see link to the right). Hint #1 - It's a football team.
Sunday, October 17, 2004
10/17/04 Nectar of the Gods
An IM conversation I had inspired me to read up on tequila.
Mexican poet Alvaro Mutis wrote:
"Tequila has no history; there are no anecdotes confirming its birth.
This is how it’s been since the beginning of time, for tequila is a gift from the godsand they don’t tend to offer fables when bestowing favors.
That is the job of mortals, the children of panic and tradition."
Everything you ever wanted to know about tequila can probably be found on this page.
Mexican poet Alvaro Mutis wrote:
"Tequila has no history; there are no anecdotes confirming its birth.
This is how it’s been since the beginning of time, for tequila is a gift from the godsand they don’t tend to offer fables when bestowing favors.
That is the job of mortals, the children of panic and tradition."
Everything you ever wanted to know about tequila can probably be found on this page.
Saturday, October 16, 2004
10/16/04 Dares and Elections
The internet has helped make stupid people popular. And I'm promoting this by writing about The King of Dares. People email him dares and then he videotapes himself doing it. It's a little hard to find the videos, but just click "Read More..." underneath the dare. They have the guy drinking a gallon of milk in an hour, which I've always wanted to see.
In a very un-John Stewart like move, he went on CNN's Crossfire last night. It's definitely worth a look-see. It's already on IFilm.
And in case you didn't watch the debate, President Bush warned of "Rumors on the Internets". I'm seriously embarrassed that's he's my president. I'd be embarrassed if he were my kid's grade school teacher.
In a very un-John Stewart like move, he went on CNN's Crossfire last night. It's definitely worth a look-see. It's already on IFilm.
And in case you didn't watch the debate, President Bush warned of "Rumors on the Internets". I'm seriously embarrassed that's he's my president. I'd be embarrassed if he were my kid's grade school teacher.
Friday, October 15, 2004
10/15/04 Stupid People
It must be the cold rainy weather. But I've just sort of run across a theme of really disgustingly stupid articles, conversations and webpages today. In order to get them off of my chest, I've decided to post them. To steal a quote from my favorite writer, The Sports Guy, of ESPN - "Man, I hate everybody right now. I feel like Barry Bonds."
An AP News analyst writes "Gas Prices Jump With Oil Prices". Brilliant analysis. Now I realize why I'm unemployed and this nimrod works for AP.
For only $995 you can overcome your porn addiction. It probably goes without saying that this will also require you to take Jesus Christ the Savior into your life as well. I don't think I should go because Jesus kind of turns me on.
Google Nicki also writes to complain about bathroom etiquette and sent me this straight shooting website. She also sent me a link to the new Google Desktop. Her selling point was "Trust me. It's cool." Actually it's making big news lately about how it blows away your normal Windows search, and will find just about anything you've seen on your screen - Emails, IMs, documents, Jesus porn.
I know my facts are usually pretty short and to the point. But the topic of "Stupid People" has really got me going. So I continue on the topic of Undecided Voters. How could you possibly be undecided at this point? No two presidential candidates in my lifetime have been as different as these two guys. Next time you're in line for some ice cream and the douchebag in front of you gets nine samples and can't decide between choco-mocha fudge and cappu-choco swirl, shove a frosty metal scooper up his ass. He represents the "undecided" demographic.
Let me end on a less downtrodden note. Everyday Electoral-Vote.com updates the status of the latest polls from each state, and displays who would win the election based on those polls. As of today, Bush is winning 284-228. 270 is the magic number of electoral votes (EVs) needed to win the whole damn thing. According to the site, 26 EVs are tied, 30 EVs are barely in Kerry's favor and 62 EVs are barely in Bush's favor. I can't friggin' wait for all of the riots and protests on election day.
An AP News analyst writes "Gas Prices Jump With Oil Prices". Brilliant analysis. Now I realize why I'm unemployed and this nimrod works for AP.
For only $995 you can overcome your porn addiction. It probably goes without saying that this will also require you to take Jesus Christ the Savior into your life as well. I don't think I should go because Jesus kind of turns me on.
Google Nicki also writes to complain about bathroom etiquette and sent me this straight shooting website. She also sent me a link to the new Google Desktop. Her selling point was "Trust me. It's cool." Actually it's making big news lately about how it blows away your normal Windows search, and will find just about anything you've seen on your screen - Emails, IMs, documents, Jesus porn.
I know my facts are usually pretty short and to the point. But the topic of "Stupid People" has really got me going. So I continue on the topic of Undecided Voters. How could you possibly be undecided at this point? No two presidential candidates in my lifetime have been as different as these two guys. Next time you're in line for some ice cream and the douchebag in front of you gets nine samples and can't decide between choco-mocha fudge and cappu-choco swirl, shove a frosty metal scooper up his ass. He represents the "undecided" demographic.
Let me end on a less downtrodden note. Everyday Electoral-Vote.com updates the status of the latest polls from each state, and displays who would win the election based on those polls. As of today, Bush is winning 284-228. 270 is the magic number of electoral votes (EVs) needed to win the whole damn thing. According to the site, 26 EVs are tied, 30 EVs are barely in Kerry's favor and 62 EVs are barely in Bush's favor. I can't friggin' wait for all of the riots and protests on election day.
Thursday, October 14, 2004
10/14/04 Bigger and Better
The Nacho Expert and I have worked tirelessly to increase the content of NachosRule.com. We're both very excited and hope you share in the anticipation. In the last week we have created these new sections:
Nacho Deep Thoughts
Happiness Is...
Life Sucks When...
Nacho Contests - We'll have periodic questions and contests here, so check back frequently.
Cousin Eric also found some top secret documents from the debate last night - Bush's Notes.
Nacho Deep Thoughts
Happiness Is...
Life Sucks When...
Nacho Contests - We'll have periodic questions and contests here, so check back frequently.
Cousin Eric also found some top secret documents from the debate last night - Bush's Notes.
Wednesday, October 13, 2004
10/13/04 Oh Dear Lord
Carl Lewis was one of my heroes growing up. One of my first sports memories (right after the White Sox winning the AL West in 1983) was the 1984 Olympic Games in Los Angeles. Which is why I had a real tough time sleeping last night after watching this video. Carl, if I were you, I wouldn't be promoting that video on your website. Let your illustrious career do the talking.
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
10/12/04 If I had a million dollars
Want your own private island? Mind if I visit?
In Oxford, Ohio, it's illegal for a woman to strip off her clothing while standing in front of a man's picture. In Florida, having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal. And there is, in fact, an Illinois law that prohibits a number of things—one of which is a public erection, another is nude dancing. The prohibition against the public erection has never been challenged in the Supreme Court, but the prohibition against nude dancing has. These and other goofy sex laws here.
In Oxford, Ohio, it's illegal for a woman to strip off her clothing while standing in front of a man's picture. In Florida, having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal. And there is, in fact, an Illinois law that prohibits a number of things—one of which is a public erection, another is nude dancing. The prohibition against the public erection has never been challenged in the Supreme Court, but the prohibition against nude dancing has. These and other goofy sex laws here.
Monday, October 11, 2004
10/11/04 Whoa...
You've gotta check this out - Zoom. It takes a minute to load and then remember to use the up and down arrows.
A month or so ago, Cousin Dave told me that the story of the marathon isn't really true. The story I knew was that some dude ran from Marathon to Athens to deliver a message and died upon arrival. And that today's marathon is the same distance of 26.2 miles. Turns out that Cousin Dave is right and there's very little truth to that story.
According to MarathonGuide.com, some guy (Philippides, not Pheidippides) actually ran 150 miles from Athens to Sparta and back to ask for the Spartans' help in battle. And he didn't even die. Well he died eventually, I'm sure, but not because of the 150 mile run in 2 days.
A month or so ago, Cousin Dave told me that the story of the marathon isn't really true. The story I knew was that some dude ran from Marathon to Athens to deliver a message and died upon arrival. And that today's marathon is the same distance of 26.2 miles. Turns out that Cousin Dave is right and there's very little truth to that story.
According to MarathonGuide.com, some guy (Philippides, not Pheidippides) actually ran 150 miles from Athens to Sparta and back to ask for the Spartans' help in battle. And he didn't even die. Well he died eventually, I'm sure, but not because of the 150 mile run in 2 days.
Sunday, October 10, 2004
10/10/04 The times they are a changin'
A couple of regular readers have told me that they don't like this new blog format. And honestly, I'm not exactly thrilled with it either. I'm humbly asking for suggestions for improvement. Either post your comments below or send an email to nachomaster@nachosrule.com.
In the meantime, here's Part 2 of Checking Away Messages.
In the meantime, here's Part 2 of Checking Away Messages.
Saturday, October 09, 2004
10/9/04 Darwin Awards
My dad sent me an article with the Darwin Awards. If you're a Lewis Black fan, you'll recognize the winner of the award - From the Arkansas Democrat Gazette - "Thank God we weren't on that bridge when Thurston shot his balls off, or we might both be dead"
Friday, October 08, 2004
10/8/04 I'm Away from my Computer Right Now
Admit it - You read other people's away messages. You even have that buddy you haven't messaged in 2 years, but you still check what he's up to every now and then. This guy wrote a little article about this strange little obsession.
My weekly public service announcement is valid, well, forever - Redeem anytime.
My weekly public service announcement is valid, well, forever - Redeem anytime.
Thursday, October 07, 2004
10/7/04 Bitch better have my money
Through rain, sleet, or snow, Bitch better have my dough. It's games like Pimp Valley that I find when I'm up at 2am. It's actually a well done game, in the spirit of Lemonade Stand and other numbers driven games. I started playing last and I'm now recruiting for my "Crew" - We're called "WhiteSox", so jump on board and start smackin' some hoes. I'll offer my expert protection.
Wednesday, October 06, 2004
10/6/04 Goonies Vacation
Once again Cousin Eric comes through in the clutch. He found two people who put our annual video scavenger hunts to shame. If you have 15 minutes, a high speed connection, and are as obsessed about the Goonies as me and my family, here's a link to The Goonies Vacation. In a sad way, I'm actually somewhat jealous of these guys.
Bob is also showing signs of his former brilliance by sending 1980's video games online.
And finally, Nicki made a late afternoon showing by IMing me a clip of George Bush's re-election platform.
Thanks Nicki, Bob and Eric for these contributions.
Bob is also showing signs of his former brilliance by sending 1980's video games online.
And finally, Nicki made a late afternoon showing by IMing me a clip of George Bush's re-election platform.
Thanks Nicki, Bob and Eric for these contributions.
Tuesday, October 05, 2004
10/5/04 Games we used to play
Once again it's time for the World Championships of Rock Paper Scissors. In honor of the event on October 16th, check out the trailer for Rock Paper Scissors, The Movie - It takes a while to load and requires Quick Time. For everyone who said they "might go" to the event this year, let me know this week whether or not you were serious. Because if we're going, we've gotta plan it now.
While I'm on the topic of playground games, did anyone else used to play MASH (Mansion, Apartment, Shack, House) to predict your future? The game has been updated for the 21st century - Try it here.
While I'm on the topic of playground games, did anyone else used to play MASH (Mansion, Apartment, Shack, House) to predict your future? The game has been updated for the 21st century - Try it here.
Monday, October 04, 2004
10/4/04 Over and Out
Once again, Odd Tood has created a new cartoon about his experience in Hollywood. If you're new to his fine work, start here. He has also made a new game called MEP Ball - I'm still pretty bad at it.
And I'm (whatever the opposite of honored is) to report another sad year of baseball in Chicago. The Cubs finished in 3rd place and the Sox finished in 2nd. And after a spring of high expectations for both, we should have known better than to believe the hype. Feel free to comment and post your thoughts below.
And I'm (whatever the opposite of honored is) to report another sad year of baseball in Chicago. The Cubs finished in 3rd place and the Sox finished in 2nd. And after a spring of high expectations for both, we should have known better than to believe the hype. Feel free to comment and post your thoughts below.
Sunday, October 03, 2004
10/3/04 Lost in Translation
I know, it's been a few days, and I'm not even gonna pretend to make up facts for the last few days. But having just returned from a foreign land, I present Lost in Translation. It's like one of those Google tools for language translation, but it translates from English to another language then back to English and then to another language, and so on and so forth.
For example:
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's amore.
translates to:
If the moon fixes its eye like a great vector of Fleischpie of the vector of Pizzapie, is the lover.
For example:
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's amore.
translates to:
If the moon fixes its eye like a great vector of Fleischpie of the vector of Pizzapie, is the lover.
Thursday, September 30, 2004
9/30/04 Flashing
Barcelona bar-goers can now pay for drinks by flashing implanted RFID chip. Women can still avoid paying by flashing something else.
Wednesday, September 29, 2004
9/29/04 The search for part 2
Thanks to both Mike and Cousin Eric for sending information about the most anticipated sequel of our generation.... Spaceballs 2
Tuesday, September 28, 2004
9/28/04 Let me tell you why we suck
Bears quarterback Rex Grossman is out for the season. Not to mention other injuries to half their defense, we can probably look to the 2005 season right now. But hey, at least we got the Bulls.
Monday, September 27, 2004
9/27/04 Bullet holes the size of matzah balls
I'm going to brag a little bit only because I had an absolutely amazing time this weekend. If you ever have the chance to spend some time in Mexico, might I recommend a weekend stay in Mazamitla. It's a town up in the mountains where you can rent cabins and ride horses down to a waterfall - which is all new for a kid who grew up in the midwest.
You guys are never going to believe this - I rented this real neat four wheel deal, ATV. It was the most amazing thing I ever saw.
You guys are never going to believe this - I rented this real neat four wheel deal, ATV. It was the most amazing thing I ever saw.
Sunday, September 26, 2004
9/26/04 Quemacocos
I learned a new word today in Spanish. "Sunroof" is a "Quemacocos" which literally means "coconut burner".
Saturday, September 25, 2004
9/25/04 Eyes from above
A big thanks to Mike for sending facts to me in Mexico. Check out this site from NASA -
"World Wind allows any user to zoom from satellite altitude into any placeon Earth, leveraging high resolution LandSat imagery and SRTM elevationdata to experience Earth in visually rich 3D, just as if they were reallythere."(Supposedly, you can get down to the meter scale.)
"World Wind allows any user to zoom from satellite altitude into any placeon Earth, leveraging high resolution LandSat imagery and SRTM elevationdata to experience Earth in visually rich 3D, just as if they were reallythere."(Supposedly, you can get down to the meter scale.)
Friday, September 24, 2004
9/24/04 Kobe's Privates
Some long, long transcript of Kobe Bryant's interview with police is now available to the public. If you're really bored, could you summarize it in 2 setences or less for the rest of us?
Thursday, September 23, 2004
9/23/04 The pot and kettle
Christina Aguilera is calling Britney Spears´wedding trashy. Let the catfights begin.
And I'm all about planning a trip to New York to see The Last Starfighter, the musical.
And I'm all about planning a trip to New York to see The Last Starfighter, the musical.
Wednesday, September 22, 2004
9/22/04 Carne en su jugo
I´m in Mexico and my first meal was ¨Carne en su jugo¨, which means meat in its own juice. But that´s kinda confusing, since su jugo could mean ¨your juice¨, ¨his juice¨, ¨her juice¨ or ¨their juice¨. And no offense or anything, but the last thing I want to eat is meat in your juice.
In other news, I don´t have the faintest idea of what´s happening in the rest of the world, so I urge you to comment on this post and submit something cool, since I obviously will fall short on my own today.
In other news, I don´t have the faintest idea of what´s happening in the rest of the world, so I urge you to comment on this post and submit something cool, since I obviously will fall short on my own today.
Tuesday, September 21, 2004
9/21/04 - I've GOTTA have more cowbell
I just learned that I'm not the only one with a fever. Here's the prescription.
While I'm on the topic of Christopher Walken, here's a clip where he's hosting a Presidential Debate.
Here's some song and video about Lindsay Lohan's boobs. They've sure gotten their share of attention, so this will be the first and last time I mention them.
While I'm on the topic of Christopher Walken, here's a clip where he's hosting a Presidential Debate.
Here's some song and video about Lindsay Lohan's boobs. They've sure gotten their share of attention, so this will be the first and last time I mention them.
Monday, September 20, 2004
King of Karaoke
Sing along with Michael Jackson - My favorite things
Also, thanks to Nicki for sending along rules to Zoom, one of my favorite games from my college years.
Also, thanks to Nicki for sending along rules to Zoom, one of my favorite games from my college years.
9/20/04
I've fought the idea of making this page into a blog for a long, long time. I guess it's the fact that I believe that it's really not a blog, but a unique list of things I learn everyday.
But in honor of Nacho Independence Day (October 2nd, in case you may have forgotten) I am going to Mexico. And this will be the only way to post updates while I'm gone. So, we'll consider this a little trial and see how it works.
All previous facts can be found at www.nachosrule.com/dailyfact2004.htm. And now you can post comments about these facts, so go for it.
Also, return to www.nachosrule.com when you're finished.
But in honor of Nacho Independence Day (October 2nd, in case you may have forgotten) I am going to Mexico. And this will be the only way to post updates while I'm gone. So, we'll consider this a little trial and see how it works.
All previous facts can be found at www.nachosrule.com/dailyfact2004.htm. And now you can post comments about these facts, so go for it.
Also, return to www.nachosrule.com when you're finished.
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